I’ve been away from LA for almost two weeks, and today, when I get back into the studio, there’s one of my partners shooting a super hot girl on a motorcycle. It turns out to be a scene for Axel Braun, this big shot director dude that probably takes himself too seriously.

As I get closer to the set, I see the girl on the bike is none other than Eva Angelina.

I pretend not to see her, although I know she saw me glance at her; she does a terrific job pretending not to notice me.

Eva is hands down one of the hottest girls in the game right now. And trust me when I tell you she looks better than ever. I tried booking her a few months ago, and things just didn’t work out. When I called to rebook her, all hell broke loose. Turns out I’m a creep. She has no interest in ever working with me, and she makes it very clear never, ever to call her again.

My head starts to spin. WTF? The first – and only – time I shot her, things went great. Met her and her (then) roomate “Envi” in Porno Land. I had male talent with me, and we ended up shooting two scenes over there – one with her roomie Envi for Spunkmouth…and then other with Eva for JOMG. Afterward, I remember buying pizza, hanging out for a half hour or so, and leaving. I say “I remember” cause this was so long ago Envi hadn’t changed her name to Eve Lawrence yet, and Eva Angelina still had real boobies.

Fast forward a year and a half, and she’s upset, and I’m a creep, and she’ll never work with me again.

I hang up the phone and I’m bummed. Really bummed. It’s bad enough I can’t work with Eva again. And it’s worse she thinks I’m a creep…and even though I’ve shot 400+ scenes and never been called a creep…or even had anyone hint I was creepy…and in fact everyone I’ve ever shot with wants to work with me again…so yea, I’m bummed.

Still am.

So tonight, as Eva pulled herself off that bike, and sauntered back to the dressing room, I really wanted to go apologise for whatever it was I did that upset her so much. But I didn’t. Just let it be. Whatever.

You just can’t get along with everyone, although I try. Especially in this business where there are a lot of fucking creeps, I really do my best to treat all the talent with nothing but resepect. I never spring any last minute bullshit on them, never make demands, never flip out on set when things aren’t going the way I planned. In other words, in a business where creeps abound, I try my best to be non-creepy.

Anyways…I start working again Sunday. Till then, I’m gonna hang in LA and go to museums and look at art. And eat some hotdogs at Pink’s. And check out some book stores. And maybe hit La Luz de Jesus.

Then it’s back to making smut.

Gangbangs. Interracial gangbangs. We made a lot of them.

That’s S.S. on the left. And Dogfart on right. I snapped this pic of them while they were shooting a “box cover”. I’m not sure why we ever shot box covers, cause we never had any intention on making DVD’s.

This gangang featured Wesley Pipes, Sledgehammer, Tony EverReady, and Silvio. They’re all still in the business.

The girl on her knees is Jessica Dee. She’s no longer in the business. That’s a whole different post. A very long one.

This is the sort of scene that make some people think pornography is evil. It makes them think we’re on the bottom rung of socitey. That maybe pornographers are just one level up from thieves or drug dealers…or prostitutes. We’re the real reason socitey is falling apart…right?

Well, to that I say pack a whole bunch of sand up your ass. Cause you’re wrong. Dead wrong. In fact, you couldn’t be any wronger. (That’s a word, right? Wronger?)

Take a close look at these. Sure, they’re pretty intense. Some might say unwatchable. But I gotta tell ya, since I was there, shooting, they appear way more intense than they actually were. I mean I hate to spoil the fantasy. Every girl who took a job in the mansion knew what that job entailed. None of them were forced to do anything against their will. None of them had a gun to their head. None of them were crazy on drugs and couldn’t remember what they did the following day. (We all waited till after the scene was done to start in on the drugs.) And they all left with a smile on their face and a whole lotta money.

Cause they’re all actors.

Don’t get me wrong. The sex was intense. When they’re all moaning and groaning – that sex is real. It’s just the scenarios that make this all a big ol’ fantasy. And thus, not very real at all. Am I confusing you?

What am I rambling about now, anyway? What’s my point?

All porn is fantasy. None of it’s really real. So the next time you see a movie with 4 black dudes banging a white chick, don’t get upset. In fact, enjoy it. Cause the chick wasn’t tricked into it. Cause the dudes didn’t “take advantage” of her. Cause watching this sort of thing isn’t going to make a person “addicted” to it. Don’t think too much about the actress…or the actors. Or the folks that made the movie. There’s no reason to do anything more than to take the movie for what it’s worth.

And that’s either your VISA card (and $29.95) – or just move on.

Donovan Phillips writes: Is the war on porn our own fault?

Just a question. I’m just not surprised. We keep pushing and pushing. Things are now starting to break.

And I say no. I really respect Donny – that’s the reason I even chose to reply to this – but let’s look at his part of his statement: “when we take this very hard content and give it away free on sites that are easy for children to access…” Well, porn isn’t easy to access. Really, it’s not. Oh sure, just about anyone can buy a computer, plug it in, and start to enjoy the Wonderful World of Pornography within minutes.

But wait! When the folks brought home the computer to put in junior’s room, they asked the dude who sold them the computer “Hey! Any way to block that nasty, awful, society-wreckin’ pornography?” Why yes sir…here’s Net Nanny. And CyberPartorl. Here’s SurfWatch, and CyberSitter. And BSafe. And WebBalanced…and guess what?

There’s no porn on Junior’s computer.

So now let’s ask the really tough question. And no, it’s not “how to we eradicate porn?” It’s not “how do we make our schools better…or safer?” And since we’re worrying about dirty movies fucking up our kids, we don’t need to start in on booze, tobacco, and drugs…cause we all know about that.

Why is society failing our children? Maybe that’s the real question here. And the answer is simple, my friends.

Our kids are in a heap o’ trouble cause the traditional family structure that, for the most part, has built this country, and made it strong, catapaulting us into The Greatest-Country-In-The-History-Of-The-World status, has, for the most part, come to an end. This isn’t about a war on porn. Or a war on booze. Or dope. This is a war on the family unit. And the family unit lost.

I’m guessing it died around 1989. Give or take a few years. It started getting its ass kicked in the 70’s, finally went to the hospital 80’s, where it went to Heaven later in that decade.

From my years in the classroom I can tell you this – every shitty kid has a parent who’s even worse. Way worse. I’d have kids in my classroom that didn’t give a fuck about anything – grades, getting disciplined, advancing themselves, learning, caring about themselves – and when I called the parents, guess who wasn’t home?

And even if they were home, they weren’t home.

Know why “schools suck”? Know why “porn is ruining our kids”? Know why “the gang problem is growing out of control”? Why kids are smoking meth after school? Why, say, LA County or Maricopa County (Phoenix AZ) has high school drop out rates at 60%? It’s the easiest answer – and the hardest.

But wait! I digress. So let me get back to porn, cause after all, that’s why you’re here. And I’d like to tie this all up in a nice, pretty package.

Just ask your favorite porn star, next time you run into them at some big trade show, what it was like growing up. If mom and dad were around, caring and nuturing them, and showing them the way through this fucked-up world. If, when they got home from school, mom was around to help them sort out their problems – not only problems in school, but problems that made life itself confusing and upsetting and good and bad. And when dad got home from work a few hours later, they’d all sit down at dinner and he’d be there, too, to help out with everything, thus adding a whole new dimension in their lives.

Or was nobody home?