This weekend’s Top Ten

ass

1) I shoot porn because I like the money.

2) I shoot porn because I like to look at naked girls.

3) I shoot porn because it’s a creative outlet.

4) I shoot porn because it’s the greatest mastubatory aid ever invented; hence, I’m helping the male species be monogamous.

5) I shoot porn because it can take an average couple’s stale, soggy sex life and breathes some life into it.

6) I shoot porn because even though I like to bitch about the girls, it’s fun to be around them (most of the time).

7) I shoot porn because it’s never boring.

8) I shoot porn because I don’t want to sell cars, or jewlery cleaner, or motor homes, or stocks, or bonds…anymore.

9) I shoot porn because I don’t want to teach….anymore.

10) I shoot porn because the male stars are kinda funny, in more ways than one. (And I mean this in a good way).

Eva Angelina JOMG

Eva

I’ve been away from LA for almost two weeks, and today, when I get back into the studio, there’s one of my partners shooting a super hot girl on a motorcycle. It turns out to be a scene for Axel Braun, this big shot director dude that probably takes himself too seriously.

As I get closer to the set, I see the girl on the bike is none other than Eva Angelina.

I pretend not to see her, although I know she saw me glance at her; she does a terrific job pretending not to notice me.

Eva is hands down one of the hottest girls in the game right now. And trust me when I tell you she looks better than ever. I tried booking her a few months ago, and things just didn’t work out. When I called to rebook her, all hell broke loose. Turns out I’m a creep. She has no interest in ever working with me, and she makes it very clear never, ever to call her again.

My head starts to spin. WTF? The first – and only – time I shot her, things went great. Met her and her (then) roomate “Envi” in Porno Land. I had male talent with me, and we ended up shooting two scenes over there – one with her roomie Envi for Spunkmouth…and then other with Eva for JOMG. Afterward, I remember buying pizza, hanging out for a half hour or so, and leaving. I say “I remember” cause this was so long ago Envi hadn’t changed her name to Eve Lawrence yet, and Eva Angelina still had real boobies.

Fast forward a year and a half, and she’s upset, and I’m a creep, and she’ll never work with me again.

I hang up the phone and I’m bummed. Really bummed. It’s bad enough I can’t work with Eva again. And it’s worse she thinks I’m a creep…and even though I’ve shot 400+ scenes and never been called a creep…or even had anyone hint I was creepy…and in fact everyone I’ve ever shot with wants to work with me again…so yea, I’m bummed.

Still am.

So tonight, as Eva pulled herself off that bike, and sauntered back to the dressing room, I really wanted to go apologise for whatever it was I did that upset her so much. But I didn’t. Just let it be. Whatever.

You just can’t get along with everyone, although I try. Especially in this business where there are a lot of fucking creeps, I really do my best to treat all the talent with nothing but resepect. I never spring any last minute bullshit on them, never make demands, never flip out on set when things aren’t going the way I planned. In other words, in a business where creeps abound, I try my best to be non-creepy.

Anyways…I start working again Sunday. Till then, I’m gonna hang in LA and go to museums and look at art. And eat some hotdogs at Pink’s. And check out some book stores. And maybe hit La Luz de Jesus.

Then it’s back to making smut.

In Search of a Glory Hole

The hole...

Word was out that there was a glory hole located at a secret location in Oxnard California. The minute Dogfart and I caught wind of this, we packed our gear in the car and headed north on the Pacific Coast Highway with Fionna Cheeks.

That’s the sunset over the Pacific Ocean. Some coastal rock formations lay ahead. Dogfart’s behind the wheel, Fionna’s shotgun, and I’m in the back, getting blown away by the view. It doesn’t get much better than this.

We found the Glory Hole all right, and sure enough, Fionna jumped in. That’s right. We were rolling a Fionna Cheeks Gloryhole scene!

But it didn’t stop there. Turns out that particular Glory Hole was a huge payoff, cause most of the time they’re shut down after like 2 days. This one paid off for about 5 or 6 weeks! We shot in there, pretty much undisturbed, that entire fall. Then news broke on it, and the next thing you know, no more Glory Hole. Not there, anyway. Time to find another…

So here’s how it would go down. We’d scout the outside of the place, make sure there was no heat, and then grab the girl and our cameras. Dogfart ran the still camera; I shot video. And it would get kinda tricky cause we would have to work together in order to get the scene and haul ass within 15 minutes or so. Which is completely different than shooting a “normal” scene; if we were on a porn set, DF would shoot stills, we’d break, and then I’d roll video. Then, after the money shot, DF would snap a few more pics and we’d call it a day. You know…a casual porno shoot.

Not with a Glory Hole scene.

We were nervous we were gonna get busted at anytime. It was like the old days Bill Margold recalls, when shooting porn was illegal, and at any time the police could roll up on a porn set and haul everyone to jail…like John C. Holmes and those cats. 1974 and shit.

Anyways, I’d roll video while DF shot stills. I’d have to make sure he was out of my way; he’d make sure I was out of his. And we’d have to vary up the angles and shots. All while working in a tiny stall…the 3 of us: the porn star, DF, and me.

We made it happen though, time and time again. Never once been busted…yet.

Here’s one more Gloryhole scene we shot with Saphire. I always liked Saphire. We shot her a few times. The first time I met Saphire she was on set reading a book by William S. Burroughs called Naked Lunch. That meant, as far as I’m concerned, she was already A-OK.

Saphire played the porno game for a while, then I think she disappeared back to wherever it is she’s from.

Fionna Cheeks went total Porn Star. She really made the rounds. I even got to shoot her again, a year or so later, for Spunkmouth. Then, about a year or so ago, she disappeared too. Last time I heard she got married and might be starting a family. That is to say she’s now leading a “normal” life.

I bet she’s bored already.

Interracial Gangbangs

Gangbang time!

Gangbangs. Interracial gangbangs. We made a lot of them.

That’s S.S. on the left. And Dogfart on right. I snapped this pic of them while they were shooting a “box cover”. I’m not sure why we ever shot box covers, cause we never had any intention on making DVD’s.

This gangang featured Wesley Pipes, Sledgehammer, Tony EverReady, and Silvio. They’re all still in the business.

The girl on her knees is Jessica Dee. She’s no longer in the business. That’s a whole different post. A very long one.

This is the sort of scene that make some people think pornography is evil. It makes them think we’re on the bottom rung of socitey. That maybe pornographers are just one level up from thieves or drug dealers…or prostitutes. We’re the real reason socitey is falling apart…right?

Well, to that I say pack a whole bunch of sand up your ass. Cause you’re wrong. Dead wrong. In fact, you couldn’t be any wronger. (That’s a word, right? Wronger?)

Take a close look at these. Sure, they’re pretty intense. Some might say unwatchable. But I gotta tell ya, since I was there, shooting, they appear way more intense than they actually were. I mean I hate to spoil the fantasy. Every girl who took a job in the mansion knew what that job entailed. None of them were forced to do anything against their will. None of them had a gun to their head. None of them were crazy on drugs and couldn’t remember what they did the following day. (We all waited till after the scene was done to start in on the drugs.) And they all left with a smile on their face and a whole lotta money.

Cause they’re all actors.

Don’t get me wrong. The sex was intense. When they’re all moaning and groaning – that sex is real. It’s just the scenarios that make this all a big ol’ fantasy. And thus, not very real at all. Am I confusing you?

What am I rambling about now, anyway? What’s my point?

All porn is fantasy. None of it’s really real. So the next time you see a movie with 4 black dudes banging a white chick, don’t get upset. In fact, enjoy it. Cause the chick wasn’t tricked into it. Cause the dudes didn’t “take advantage” of her. Cause watching this sort of thing isn’t going to make a person “addicted” to it. Don’t think too much about the actress…or the actors. Or the folks that made the movie. There’s no reason to do anything more than to take the movie for what it’s worth.

And that’s either your VISA card (and $29.95) – or just move on.

Spunkmouth Brandi Lyons

Spunkmouth Brandi Lyons

But before I tell you all about S.S. and Dogfart and the secret mansion, I think I’ll tell you about Brandi Lyons. Cause this is a fun story, and it’s Monday, and Mondays are all about fun, right?

Spunkmouth Brandi Lyons. A classic scene, for a number of reasons…most of which are behind the camera, and you’d never hear about…unless you’re an ISP reader.

The Spunk budget was getting low, and I really wanted to shoot another scene. Problem was the budget was so low, I couldn’t afford a scene AND studio time; in fact, shooting a scene and even getting a hotel room was looking kinda dim. I was booking Brandi Lyons, cause she puts on a great scene, and whoever gave me her number said she was awesome to shoot. So I tell Brandi my situation, and she says “Why not come over to my apartment?!”

There ya go. Problem solved. But this is where shit got kinda weird.

We all show up – myself and the male talent – and are greeting by Brandi’s husband. It was awkward, yep. But guess who Brandi’s bigget fan is? Yep…all her DVD’s and videotapes are on his bookshelf, and I guess if you’re truly in love with someone, it really doesn’t matter what they do for a living, right? Well…except maybe murder and mayhem.

Half way through the shoot Brandi asks if I’d like some A. This means would I like it if she got slammed in the butt. A is for anal. I kind of nod and say “sure Brandi, but I really am pushing it with my budget. I mean I simply can’t afford to pay you more.”

“Um, ok,” she replied. “How about we make a deal?”

This makes me nervous. But I’m all ears.

And we come to a deal. Pay her now for the scene before it ends, and she’ll give me the A for free. Why pay her now? Well, it’s Saturday, and the bank’s about to close, and they really need to cover some outstanding checks. It’s a place I’ve been at many times, and even though I didn’t feel that great about paying someone before the job was done, I agree. Besides, I’m getting the A.

Boy, did I get A. Lots of A. So much A I can’t even recall the last time I had so much A. A for All Over the Place. A for “Grade A” A, as in gApe. I guess you’d have to look at all the pics in this gallery – or join the site – to see what I mean.

How about that? Cooperation on the porno front. I help Brandi and her hubby cover some bills in time, and in return I get a Whole Lotta A.

Only in Porno Land.

Blacks On Blondes

Judy Star

I think this week I’ll write a whole lot about the time I spent working for Blacks on Blondes at Dogfart’s secret mansion.

So let’s start with The Band:

Billy Watson (that’s me!) -rhythm guitar for the Blacks on Blondes shoots, lead gutiar for Glory Hole.

S.S. – backing vocals, lead guitar for Blacks On Blondes.

Justin Timberlake Feels Your Pain – percussion for Blacks On Blondes.

Dogfart – lead vocals and rhythm guitar for Blacks on Blondes and Glory Hole.

I joined the band late. Our scehdule went something like this: we’d start shooing at 11 am and wrap around 2 or 3 – depending on how late the talent showed. 4pm was the second shoot of the day, and we’d wrap for dinner. After dinner, we might knock out a GloryHole or three. Sometimes our day didn’t end till 11 at night.

We had a lock on just about all the Black male talent in Porno Land, and over the 6 months or so this all went down, we shot just about any girl who would do a brother.

Check out Judy Star. Our tune went like this: Judy is hitchhiking, and she’s desperate for a ride. It’s cold, and she’s tired, and guess who pulls up? A carload of black dudes! In typical porno style, Judy accepts the ride – on one condition: she does them all in a secluded area up the road a ways. They give her a lift, drop her off, do her, and call it a day…all for your perverted fun.

That was a morning shoot. Then, there was an afternoon shoot. Then we’d sprinkle some Gloryholes in there. Then, if we were up for it, friends would drop by and we’d party a whole bunch.

It was drugs and sex and rock and roll, man. Which is to say – for a while anyway – it was a glorious time.

S.S. snapped this pic of me and Judy before the scene I just told you about. I kinda like it…it’s arty in a subtle way, which kinda represents him.

All of a sudden, one day S.S. decides he’s done. He’d had enough. Since I was late to the party, I was still having fun, so it was kinda hard to figure out why he was hauling ass. Looking back at it now, it all made sense.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The War on Porn

The War on This?

Donovan Phillips writes: Is the war on porn our own fault?

I’m not pointing fingers at anyone. I’m asking a question. Our industry keeps getting “harder” and pushing more boundaries. That’s fine. Consenting adults should be able to do what they want and view what they want.

BUT when we take this very hard content and give it away free on sites that are easy for children to access, is it any wonder the government decides to crack down?

Just a question. I’m just not surprised. We keep pushing and pushing. Things are now starting to break.

And I say no. I really respect Donny – that’s the reason I even chose to reply to this – but let’s look at his part of his statement: “when we take this very hard content and give it away free on sites that are easy for children to access…” Well, porn isn’t easy to access. Really, it’s not. Oh sure, just about anyone can buy a computer, plug it in, and start to enjoy the Wonderful World of Pornography within minutes.

But wait! When the folks brought home the computer to put in junior’s room, they asked the dude who sold them the computer “Hey! Any way to block that nasty, awful, society-wreckin’ pornography?” Why yes sir…here’s Net Nanny. And CyberPartorl. Here’s SurfWatch, and CyberSitter. And BSafe. And WebBalanced…and guess what?

There’s no porn on Junior’s computer.

So now let’s ask the really tough question. And no, it’s not “how to we eradicate porn?” It’s not “how do we make our schools better…or safer?” And since we’re worrying about dirty movies fucking up our kids, we don’t need to start in on booze, tobacco, and drugs…cause we all know about that.

Why is society failing our children? Maybe that’s the real question here. And the answer is simple, my friends.

Our kids are in a heap o’ trouble cause the traditional family structure that, for the most part, has built this country, and made it strong, catapaulting us into The Greatest-Country-In-The-History-Of-The-World status, has, for the most part, come to an end. This isn’t about a war on porn. Or a war on booze. Or dope. This is a war on the family unit. And the family unit lost.

I’m guessing it died around 1989. Give or take a few years. It started getting its ass kicked in the 70’s, finally went to the hospital 80’s, where it went to Heaven later in that decade.

From my years in the classroom I can tell you this – every shitty kid has a parent who’s even worse. Way worse. I’d have kids in my classroom that didn’t give a fuck about anything – grades, getting disciplined, advancing themselves, learning, caring about themselves – and when I called the parents, guess who wasn’t home?

And even if they were home, they weren’t home.

Know why “schools suck”? Know why “porn is ruining our kids”? Know why “the gang problem is growing out of control”? Why kids are smoking meth after school? Why, say, LA County or Maricopa County (Phoenix AZ) has high school drop out rates at 60%? It’s the easiest answer – and the hardest.

But wait! I digress. So let me get back to porn, cause after all, that’s why you’re here. And I’d like to tie this all up in a nice, pretty package.

Just ask your favorite porn star, next time you run into them at some big trade show, what it was like growing up. If mom and dad were around, caring and nuturing them, and showing them the way through this fucked-up world. If, when they got home from school, mom was around to help them sort out their problems – not only problems in school, but problems that made life itself confusing and upsetting and good and bad. And when dad got home from work a few hours later, they’d all sit down at dinner and he’d be there, too, to help out with everything, thus adding a whole new dimension in their lives.

Or was nobody home?

Gloryhole Sex

The hole...

This is a true story. All the stories you read here are true, and this one is truer than most.

A long time ago I was an Arizona State Sundevil. I was struggling with my classes and being a dumb jock. One night, while I was studying for my Criminal Justice final, I realized it was time to poop. I don’t know about you, but I’m a home field guy; I don’t like to make a number 2 on unfamiliar turf.

But damn…I had to go. Really go.

So I hold it best I can, decide to give up the good fight, and make a decision: do I get on my bike and ride home? Or do I hit the can in the library?

I hit the can in the library.

I check all the stalls, choose the cleanest, and go to work. And as I’m sitting there, I notice a big fucking hole drilled out of the stall’s wall. I swear! I was so intent on making sure the toilet was clean whilst choosing stalls, I overlooked the fact that some homo drilled a gloryhole into the wall. Of course I had no idea then it was a gloryhole; in fact, I wasn’t sure what the hell was going on! Was someone going to try and peep on me while pooping? Was this some sort of janitorial aid?

Fuck it – I came to do a job, and I finished up and hauled my ass outta there. I was alone from start to finish, so that was a good thing.

Fast forward 15 years or so. We’re sitting around Dogfart’s secret mansion, trying to come up with new ideas for websites. Someone yells out GLORYHOLE! We laugh, especially when I recalled the story I just shared with you.

Dogfart didn’t laugh. Next thing I know, we’re in the van, cameras in tow, scouting public restrooms, adult bookshops, and all-around nasty ass places I know I could never poop at…I’d make in my pants before I sat my fat white ass on a toilet seat in any of these places.

Boy do I have a lot of Gloryhole stories. I shot every single scene on Gloryhole.com, some with Dogfart, most without. There were times me and the porn girls had to haul ass out of the place. And like all work there’s the good, the bad, and the ugly. You’re looking at the good here. I made Spring Thomas come with me while I shot the gloryhole Sophia scene. Sophia worked the hole; Spring Thomas was on the lookout for cops and/or people we didn’t want to come in contact with. A great scene with my two favorite girls in the whole wide world.

Nasty, filthy sex doesn’t get any better than this.

Boo

Boo!

I took this pic of Boo and Bella Donna in Dogfart’s backyard, a long time ago. Bella’s in the red pants; Boo’s in brown.

Boo is a natural beauty. She’s the kind of girl that makes you do all sorts of cliches: she takes your breath away; you fall in love with her on first sight; you wanna save her from porn; let’s get married and get the fuck outta LA and live in some rural place and die old together.

Those kinds of things.

We had just started shooting Spunkmouth scenes, and a Spunkmouth Boo scene would be my trophy. I had to make it happen.

My first instinct was to offer Boo more than I should. Like, instead of $900 for b/g, offer her like $1100. Be ready to go to $1200. I already knew Girl-Next-Door Boo was “thinking” about becoming porn star Boo D. Licious, but she wasn’t quite there – yet.

There was a better approach to Boo. I hadn’t been in the porno biz long, but I already figured that out. Porno girls love to be represented. To have an agent. When you’re represented by an agent, you’re SOMEbody. Agent=importance. Agent=clout. Agent=you’ve made it. Boo didn’t have an agent, but I’d approach Bella Donna instead…ask her to make the scene happen. I figured it would be my best chance. Better than offering her more money.

Well, I’d like to think I was right. I mean I got the scene. And it’s off the hook. To this day it may be the best scene on Spunkmouth…and the best scene I’ve ever shot. Dogfart shot stills; I directed and shot video; Brandon Iron and my pal S.S. were as obsessed with Boo, too. They gladly offered their services. In fact, Brandon cut his fee to work with Boo…and S.S.? Well, he did it for free!

By this time Bella Donna was a huge porn star, as was Brandon Iron. S.S. was making his name as a director, and doing scenes off and on. I was still shooting second camera for Dogfart and Spunkmouth wasn’t even a site yet.

And Boo? She went on to Porn Star Status, right? Wrong…I think I’ve seen her in two more b/g vids…some g/g stuff. And then poof! Just like that, she disappeared.

Why, oh Why?

Chloe

Every once in a while I’m asked “why do girls become porn stars?” I’ve thought about it a bit, and I’ve come up with my top 5 reasons why your favorite porn star became your favorite porn star (besides the obvious – money):

1) They were abused as a kid…not just sexually, either, although that goes a long way. I’m including abandonment issues here, cause I think they’re way more prevalent than sexual abuse. Wanna raise a porn girl? Just ignore her. Or haul ass when she’s just a wee baby.

2) Religion has been shoved down their throat…Christianity (or some form of it) of course. Wanna raise a porn girl? Make her go to your church 6 days a week…and have church study when she isn’t in church. Make her pray a lot, too. Then, repeat…while peppering her with the sinner rap.

3) Porn girls love to party! So much so they can’t control themselves…that’s how much they like to party. The porno lifestyle goes hand-in-hand with the party girl lifestyle, especially if they aren’t from a rich family. In other words, if Paris Hilton was poor, she’d be a porn star. Full time, that is…

4) They’re codependant, part of which means – in a nutshell – they love to give their dude all the money they make. I won’t even get into the maladaptive or compulsive parts of this point.

5) Believe it or not, some girls like sex as much as men! Too bad this is the rarest of the 5 traits.

This list is in no particular order; please feel free to combine any one (or all) of the above traits for any particular porn star; and I’m not saying that my old pal Chloe here was subjected to any (or all) of the above…I just found this pic of her before a party at Dogfart’s secret mansion, and it remined me of some good old times, and Brunos in Santa Monica, and how cute she is.

Finally, why do guys do porn? Think it’s to get laid? Well, in a round about way, yea…but mainly it’s because they’re sex addicts.

And who can blame them?