Category Archives: random raves

The Gonzo Girls: Aria Valencia and Tiana Blow |

Aria Valencia and Tiana Blow in action for TheDickSuckers.comIf you’re looking for a wild, no-holds-barred porn experience, then look no further than The Good Gonzo Girls. Real life roommates Aria Valencia and Tiana Blow have just turned 19 and 18 respectively, but their age does not stop them from living out their most sexually charged adventures on camera with Mr. POV. Keep reading to find out why this gonzo porno is unlike any other!

Aria and Tiana: Best Friends Forever (BFFs) and Roomies Forever (RTFs). These two are more than just your typical BFFs; they also live together in the same apartment. But don’t let that fool you—these two are as wild as can be! When they’re not sneaking into each other’s bedrooms for some “cuddle time”, they like to bring home boys to bang! And just when you thought it couldn’t get any hotter, the girls love older men too…enter Mister POV who is 21 years older than the combined age of Aria and Tiana!

Aria Valencia and Tiana Blow cum swap!

Mr. POV loves shooting gonzo style; he believes there should be no cuts or edits—just yell “action” and roll with the sex! In fact, the first 25 minutes of this video feature no cuts whatsoever; there is girl-on-girl cunnilingus, two-girls-one-dude fellatio, and all kinds of fucking galore. This porn gets so hot that a blow job scene actually turns into something else entirely…you will just have to watch it to find out what happens next!

If you are looking for a truly wild and unedited porn experience featuring two smoking hot young ladies who love older men, then you need to check out The Good Gonzo Girls with Aria Valencia and Tiana Blow. You won’t regret it—in fact, you’ll be begging for more! So go ahead, sit back and relax while these two naughty vixens show off their naughty side in every scene! Enjoy their behind-the-scenes interview below, too!


Billy Watson’s Top 10 (for November 2012).

Zoey Nixon POV porn1. Zoey Nixon: I’ve got a couple ads posted up on the interwebs for the Google Machine to find, and these ads, in turn, help me find new gals to start an exciting new career in the wonderful world of Adult Entertainment. Some of them have been up for years, and even though it flatly says in said ads NO SINGLE MALES, that’s all I ever seem to deal with. And they’re all from third-world cesspools that want to bomb the USA out of existence. I have no idea how dudes in countries that censor their interwebs find me…but they do. (hello SIR hi my name is naji im 30 yeas old my date of birth is 21-10-1982 i want to become a porn star i been waiting all my life for this to happen to me so my e-mail is (removed by Billy) if you can i can be contacting also thro my cell phone (removed by Billy) k hope to here back from you thnaks). Anyway, in almost a decade of ads I’ve meet two girls who ended up in one of my movies: Emma Cummings and Zoey Nixon. I dunno what I love more about Zoey: her Bowie/Ziggyesque look, her fabulous boobs, the fact that she hails from the same place as John Waters, or her mouth…when it’s wrapped around two dicks at the same time: mine and her boyfriend’s. Oh, and BTW, No Way Am I Gay. And neither is her boyfriend.

2. NOBUNNY: There’s a dude called Justin Champlin who lives in the San Francisco Bay Area (Oakland, where there’s a “scene” kinda happening now) and, as NOBUNNY from “Rabbit Hole USA”, makes some of the best music I’ve heard in a long time. When my little brother handed me his hand-made (literally) record “Love Visions” four or five years ago, I immediately dismissed it, citing the dumb name and equally stupid, filthy rabbit mask he dons. Then, a couple months ago, while attending a music festival at the fabulous Hi-Tone Lounge in beautiful Memphis Tennessee, I become enlightened to the musical genius that is NOBUNNY. If you don’t believe me, just check yesterday’s blog post.

3. The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson: I was driving around this high school reunion weekend in my mom’s car listening to NPR, only because I couldn’t figure out a way to make the bluetooth in my phone talk to her car’s bluetooth. Which isn’t to say I don’t like NRP. They were interviewing Jon Ronson about his new book, “Lost at Sea”, which sounded really interesting to me cause of his essay on The Insane Clown Posse and their new agenda, which is some sort of statement concerning all the misogynistic music they made in the past, and how it all relates to their love of God. Or some such non-sense. But while shopping at my local indie bookstore, I picked up his previous book, and took a gander at the back cover: “They say one out of every hundred people is a psychopath. You probably passed one on the street today. These are people who have no empathy, who are manipulative, deceitful, charming, seductive, and delusional.” In my world, I refer to psychopaths as co-workers (no joke intended), so I bought this instead. And in one night I’m 1/2 through…and suddenly afraid to start shooting this week.

4. Endless Summer: After work, I usually read a bit, or listen to records, or do both…and then heavily self-medicate with phenomenal strains of marijuana readily available at most dispensaires in the SoCal area. While inhaling I’ll dial up a movie, either on Netflix or Apple TV. If the movie is really good, I’ll fight sleep to finish it off. I don’t make it through most. Not only did I finish off Endless Summer, I watched the last 20 minutes over again…and I didn’t mention — Billy don’t surf.

5. My High School Graduating Class: This weekend was my 30th, and it was way better than my 20th, which was way better than my 10th. Here’s how it goes: 10 years out of high school means you’re sizing everyone up and proving — beyond a shadow of a doubt — that your dick is biggest. You may even be secretly hoping someone says something stupid, just to you can kick that special someone’s ass you missed out on a decade earlier. Then, at 20 years, you realize size really doesn’t matter and just happy to see everyone…even the people you couldn’t stand back in the day. Once 30 years past, you’re super excited to see everyone is struggling with the same exact aging issues…and since everyone is divorced, it’s time to let your Freak Flag fly. Unless you’re me and spoiled on Porno Princesses 1/2 your age. Did I say half? Try 60% my age (rounded up from 56%, of course).

6. Artforum Magazine: Artforum is a ridiculously pompous arty-farty mag, and its intended audience are art fags, snobby intellectuals, and bitchy gallery owners who live off their rich husband’s income…in that order. Which is why I love it so. And it’s exactly where I ripped off this idea of a monthly top ten. A top ten list I’m quite sure I won’t be able to maintain past next month.

7. Measure B: Well, the voters have spoken, and they’re so concerned for the welfare of all the Stunt Cocks and Porno Princesses, they’ve initiated a law to require rubbers on Stunt Cocks. How will it be enforced? Not from tax hikes, that’s for sure! The inspectors shall be paid by the revenue generated when all the Porno Producers run out to City Hall and fork over big money for the licenses required to make a dirty movie. Um…yea. Uh huh.

8. “Chuck Berry Holiday”: I’m so gay for NOBUNNY why not add his best song to this month’s list? Here he is performing it on the super-weird, all-access cable TV show Chic-a-go-go, a show that might end up on next month’s Top 10. “She hit the road, Jack / That’s a fact / I guess it’s time that I let it go”…and no, she is never, ever coming back.

9. David Petraeus: Men love attention. They love attention even more than their aging, thickening wives. An aging, thickening wife, I might add, who has just about the same amount of sexual desire for you as you do for her. So imagine a hottie approaches, and she’s so into you she’s gonna author your biography (!) and follow you around wherever you go. Imagine you’ve got secrets. Good ones. No…great ones. Great fucking secrets only you and a handful of people in the world know. They’re so great they intensify the already-great sex (you haven’t had since 1992) 10 fold. Make sure you wear The Uniform whilst banging, too. Don’t forget the medals! Why not have her drop and give you 20 before she crawls over to pull your dick out to start sucking? The biggest kick I get out of all this is? When the news lady from CNN scratches her head and wonders “why and how such a thing could happen”.

10. Memphis, Tennessee: I was gonna rave about Goner Records …but I already covered music today. Then I was gonna rave about Gonerfest …but I already covered music today. So why not blab about my new, very favorite American city? The fried catfish? The BBQ? The Stax Museum? Sun Records! The National Civil Rights Museum! Earnestine & Hazel’s and their Soul Burgers and the walk upstairs to what used to be an old brothel! Arcade for breakfast! The Hi-Tone and the Buccaneer! Beale Street! The Gibson Guitar Factory! Where do I end?

How about with a shot I took of Friday Night’s Gonerfest Emcee?

NOBUNNY official Facebook

Happy Birthday ISP

Happy Borthday ISP

I Shoot Porn is 6 years old today!

So how ’bout you put that in your bong and smoke it, Hippy.

Here’s my very first post ever, the one I did 6 years ago today.

I’ve revisited this particular entry and updated it once, and, I think, as long as my blog is a viable thing (I know, I know…how viable can a porn blog really be?) I’ll revisit this entry every year and update it.

And what’s different now, as opposed to last year? Not a whole lot, I guess. My work load is way lighter, which gives me time to do other things, which is an optimist’s way of saying business is slow. Oh, and YouTube suspended my account again — for a “Imitations by Ashli Orion”. Her video was totally censored to remove any naughty bits, but YT doesn’t care about that. They won’t tell me what part, exactly, made them pull it. So I’m going over to Vimeo soon.

And the cake? What’s up with that?!

Well, I wanted to find an appropriate picture for ISP’s first birthday party, and I did a Google image search, and look what I found!

A Gene Simmons cake!

The only thing better?

I dunno…an Iggy Pop cake, when he was a Stooge? A Lou Reed cake, when he dyed his hair blonde? Maybe a VU cake, when Lou’s hair was jet black and they all wore really cool sunglasses.

But this is none of the above; it’s Sean The Porn’s birthday cake.

Sean The Porn.

I have no idea who Sean The Porn is, or what he does, but there’s his birthday cake.

And now it’s ISP’s, too.

So sing for this blog damn it: Sing it loud, and sing it proud!

ISP is 6! Time for kindergarten! Which, if you haven’t already noticed, is about the level of intelligence you’ll find around here.

A Few Things I Love, Lately…

Stephanie Cane and Flash Brown
Check out Flash Brown standing next to wee lil’ Stephanie Cane. I dunno why, but I love that pic — even more than the pics I’ve been shooting lately of nekkid girls wearing my panda mask.

Maybe not…

The Flaming Lips (and Stardeath and White Dwarfs with Henry Rollins and Peaches) performing The Dark Side of the Moon: When I was in middle school, I used to turn on my black lights and lay in bed and stare at my black light posters and listen to The Dark Side of The Moon and wonder how 4 dudes could make such a thing. In high school, I used to invite girls over and bring them into my room and turn on the black light and play Dark Side and make out, and I’d wonder how 4 dudes could make such a thing…along with wondering how soft and great a girl felt. Until my junior year, when I first heard The Clash, upon which I immediately dismissed Pink Floyd and lost the black light and the black light posters and I’d sit in my room and listen to London Calling and wonder how 4 dudes could make such a thing. I haven’t really paid attention to The Dark Side of the Moon until I saw Flaming Lips doing it, and they hired Peaches and Henry Rollins to join along — and now that’s all I’ve been listening to.

Twitter: Yea, I jumped on the bandwagon late, but as for delivering information directly to me concerning all the stuff I love — live music and book signings and shit like that — nothing beats it. Maybe I’ll even start following people (as opposed to places) soon.

Skylight Books: The book — and reading in general — is on life support and not far from death. Last weekend, at The Santa Monica Book Fair, as I was pouring over vintage smut and rare beatnik books, one of the sellers told me his sales resembled “post-apocalyptic levels”. Which is to say he wasn’t selling a thing. And I have no problem with e-readers, cause it’s facilitating reading. I know, too, that it’s tough for a book about, say, killing zombies, to compete with actually killing them on your TV with joystick in hand. But I weep for the book, and I do every time I leave my very favorite neighborhood indie store, even after spending too much money there. Cause I’m one of the few left. Who knows though…maybe, in 20 years, people will start buying books again…just like they’re buying records now.

Naked Girls in Panda Masks: My porno pal Steve Steele, AKA Johnny Ampleseed, AKA Android, AKA Dr. John Harvard, AKA Dr. Mesmer, recently moved far, far away. Relocating from the US to an Eastern European country is no easy feat, and he gave away a lot more than he brought to his new home. On the top of his Give-Away Pile was a panda mask, which I immediately grabbed. Then started shooting naked girls performing mundane tasks wearing the panda mask, just cause I think it looks kinda cool. For some reason, I can’t stop now.

American Dreams: The United States Since 1945: HW Brands book doesn’t bore me, which most history books tend to do, mainly cause he hits each topic which a couple sharp jabs and then moves on to The Next. No getting bogged down with hairy details, which has always been my problem when someone’s lecturing me about our past.

The Mat: What’s gayer? That I love my new yoga mat — or I bought it at a store called LuLu Lemon? That’s right, I shop at Lulu Lemon. No Way Am I Gay! My new mat doesn’t get slippery when I’m sweating all over it, making Down Dog so much easier. And the packaging my new mat came in might be the gayest, most-Hippy packaging I’ve ever seen: “Friends are more important than money” and “Jealousy works the opposite way you want it” and “Stress is related to 99% of all illness” are just some of the friendly reminders printed all over the box.

“Water flushes unwanted toxins from your body and keeps your brain sharp.”

“Listen, listen, listen! And then ask strategic questions!”

“The world is changing at such a rapid rate that waiting to implement changes will leave you two steps behind.”

Ever think you’d be getting such awesome advice from a porno blog?

The Girl in a Panda Mask

A Few of The Things I Love, Lately…

The Famous Kuma Burger
1. Super Dumb e-Mails: For example, the one my boss just FWD’d me: u niggers suk. u cry about racism, but u push it! making white sissys watch my ass. u niggers are crap for people. u have everything handed to u, so you can collect your food stamps and make porn. slavery made u strong, and u cry about it all the time. now little white girls hating their dad fuk u, but u are still niggers. number one cause of death for 18-30 year nigger male being killed by another nigger male. 405 lb bench press 4.5 forty and ten inches hitting the end of the pussy (they can’t take more than eight,so it doesn’t matter dipshit), but i have to watch slave decendants get paid for sports,because of slavery and the genetic breeding. stupid niggers good for nothing but entertainment. do a song, dance, and jig in the end zone while fucking your little crak whores who hate their white daddies. niggers self destruct. nigger nigger nigger

I mean…really? Really. Do people really think like this anymore? Of course they do! And their dopey e-mails always make for a fun read. The best part, of course, is that the racist bigot e-mails almost always originate from the members’ area at Blacks on Blondes. I also enjoy how they think the guys behind the camera are either black…or Jewish.

2. Kuma’s Korner, 2900 W. Belmont Ave., Chicago: Imagine walking into a hamburger joint with Death Metal blasting at an almost uncomfortable volume level. The waitresses all looked like they just wrapped a Suicide Girls shoot. There’s senior citizens sitting next to Yuppies sitting next to dudes who might actually be in Mastodon. Once you open the menu, it’s a tough time choosing between “The Plague Bringer” or “Insect Warfare” or “The Goblin’s Cock” (the only hot dog on the menu, and it’s super huge). I went with The Famous Kuma Burger, just cause it looked like if I could actually finish it, I might die soon after of coronary failure. Of course I finished it, cause it might have been the best thing I ever stuck in my mouth.

3. Reckless Records: I went to the one on Milwaukee Ave, and it was there I scored the 10″ EP “All Over The Place” by my beloved Wilco. It’s so rare I didn’t even know it existed…but that’s not saying much, really. I had to pay up for it, too. Which means I’m still gay for them. Gayer than ever.

4. The Dirty Show: The Dirty Show is an “International Exhibition of Erotic Art”. I caught it last weekend while I was in Chicago. Anytime art gets labeled it kinda makes me nervous, and sure enough, most of the “Erotic Art” was kinda lame. If a painting of a penis with a butterfly landing on its head is executed right, it’s art. Not just “erotic art”. Right? Most of the time, “erotic art” should just be labeled ‘bad art” — unless it’s Eric Kroll or Steve Diet Goedde.

5. The City of Chicago: While I’m at it, let me make a big Shout Out to my old home town. When I left in 1975, driving through the city was always an interesting experience…mostly cause you had to zig zag through the bad spots. No, the brutal spots, which were a plenty. It wasn’t even about driving through with the windows rolled up and the doors locked; you seriously took your own life in your hands if you wandered around…which, in 2010, is no longer. Just lots of white girls in short, short skirts, riding their bike to a trendy coffee shop. Just 15 years ago, in that same place, they would have been slaughtered. After they were raped. And no one woulda said a word about it. Say what you will about Mayor Daley, but he set the city free. Just don’t wander around the suburbs, like where I grew up.

6. American Pickers: If I ever stop making dirty movies, I think I’ll be a picker. It’s the collector in me. I think I have a pretty good eye, too, so I might be able to pull it off. The only thing better than a good score (my last was a pile of vintage movie posters including Barbarella, The Kansas City Bombers, and Billy Jack) is selling the stuff. Anyways, “American Pickers” features two geeks who drive all over the place buying shit from kooky hoarders. The hoarders are the stars of the show, of course. But the best part is how the geeks always play the good guy role, and never underpay for stuff, and never sell it for a huge profit, and always tell the hoarders if their shit is really valuable, so an “expert” can be called in to help them put their discarded stuff in better hands. I like this show way better than the pawn shop show, only cause those two fatsos — Chumley and the other dope — bug me even more than the Old Man and his balding son.

7. Ty Segall: My Little Bro often recommends new music to me, and I immediately dismiss him, cause, after all, he’s my little bro, and he’s younger than me — and what do younger siblings really know? Actually he knows a lot — especially when it comes to new music — but I’ll never admit that to him. (I was gonna make mention of Sleigh Bells, but I’m not sure if I love them…or hate them.)

8. My Blog: Sure, I don’t update it nearly enough, and I’m feeling (as always) like a broken record. But I still like doing it…whenever there’s something to say.

9. My New Bi-Focals: Cause, after all, ain’t getting older a heap o’ fun?

10. Ivy Winters: Ivy Winters is a somewhat-newbie Porno Princess that makes my wee-wee get really hard. So hard, in fact, that when my pal Nicky Milo called me up and asked, “Hey Billy! Whacha doin’ tomorrow? I gotta shoot a gang bang!! I need to borrow your camera, and do you wanna join in? Cause I can only find 5 guys and I need 6!” Of course I said no, cause I’m not male talent. I’m certainly not a mope. Then he said, “Are you sure? It’s Ivy Winters!” I asked if I had to show my face. This is, of course, a sign of weakening, and Nicky knew that. He said yes. I asked if I was gonna get paid. (More weakness). He said yes. I’m not male talent, I repeated…and then took the job. Cause it’s Ivy Winters. Cause I’m a mope…and there’s something terribly wrong with me.

Zoie and Dingo

A Few Things I Love In My Life, Lately…

Jessi Stone blowjob movies
Jessi Stone. Jessi Stone? Jessi Stone! Barely-legal blondie from the East Coast of Florida, and one of my very favorite girls to shoot as of late. We even got in the van and took a trip to the gloryhole. The result? The members ranked her 9.8 out of 10 — a whopping .6 higher than 2nd place vote-getter Dana DeArmond. I think there’s 350+ scenes on the site now…so that’s saying a lot.

Jay Reatard: I caught Jay at an in-store at my favorite records store in California — Amoeba. Imagine The Meat Puppets…circa 1983…when they were good. What I thought was going to be a 3 song set turned into a quite a show. I think Jay did at least a dozen songs, all of which rocked my silly little world. Too bad the staff at the store didn’t feel the same. Jay referred to Amoeba as the over-sized “Wal-Mart of record stores”, launched a few cans of Bud Light high into the air, and grabbed one of his records off the shelf and smashed it to bits. Punk rock lives.

The Cheap Trick / Poison / Def Leppard show at Cricket Pavilion, Phoenix AZ 8.29.09: You read right, fuckers. This weekend I hooked up with some high school chums and we relived the power that was 1985. Well…’83? And actually, I was all over Cheap Trick by ’78, which was the only band I paid attention to this night. The rest of the night I drank way too much and tried to pick up the hot blonde MILF next to me. It was the first time I hit on a girl my age in 7 years. (Failure). But how could I miss the power of C.C. DeVille, especially when the crowd chanted his name during a mad solo? Or the flames shooting up into the air behind Brett?! Or the one-armed-drummer pounding out Pour Some Sugar On Me!! My Lord.

My new iPhone: Uh huh. I finally broke down and did it. So don’t fuck with me. Creepy Q — Editor Extraordinaire — called me a “tool box” upon showing it off, and he refuses to even look at the Apple sticker affixed to the back of my car. Uh huh. An Apple sticker. Right next to the Wilco one…and right below the Amoeba sticker.

Kurt Vile: The self-proclaimed “Philly’s Constant Hitmaker”, I caught Vile opening for Dungen at The Troubadour last week. I only went to see Vile, actually; I had no idea who Dungen was as I strolled through the doors with my camera in tow to snap a few pics of Vile on his banjo. His latest effort — Constant Hitmaker — hasn’t left my turntable in almost two weeks. Kinda reminds me of a lo-fi, super cool 21st century version of Nebraska. Well…kinda. Just kinda. Barely just kinda.

Chanel — The World’s Oldest Dog: Chanel stole sticks of butter and hid them behind her sofa. Chanel wore goggles cause of the cataracts in her eyes and sweaters cause she was always cold, and, right before she died, spent her 21st birthday at a doggie hotel / spa. 21 doggy years means 147 for you and me.

The Beatles: On 09/09/09 we get the entire Beatles’ catalog reissued in a box set in both stereo and mono. God damn I fucking love the Beatles. Each and every song. I really don’t think they ever recorded a throw-away; this includes “Blue Jay Way”, “Wild Honey Pie”, and “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road”. (I’m going for the mono box, by the way).

Maoam: Oh, these clever candy makers used a palindrome when they named their candy! That alone means I like it at least a little bit. (I’ve never tasted Maoam). I like the new cover art, too…but some parents in the UK (where they’ve been marketing Maoam for years I guess) don’t: One upset parent quipped, “The lemon and lime are locked in what appears to be a carnal encounter. The lime, whom I assume to be the gentleman in this coupling, has a particularly lurid expression on his face.” Uh huh. And I wonder if the candy tastes as good as pussy?

Maoam porno candy

Natalia Rossi — World Class Dick Sucker; Wilco — World Class Band.

Natalia Rossi movies
Natalia Rossi is a piece of ass. I dunno what else to say. Except lately I’ve been letting the members of my BJ site — The Dick Suckers — cast the girls who appear on the site. I dunno if I’ve ever really talked about how I cast the girls who appear in my movies, so why not now?

I’ll keep this brief: I want to say I cast girls based on their looks, but I learned long ago that’s a losing proposition. Why? Cause my “10” is your “7”, and your “10” is my “2”. And while I’m sure we can all define ugly, and we might be able to point out the ugly girl in the crowd, not all of us are gonna point to the same girl.

Where am I going with this?

Well, I don’t shoot ugly girls.

How about this: my old partner at Spunkmouth loves peroxide blondes in lingerie with huge bolt-ons.

I’ll take my Porno Princess looking like she’s about to go out on a first date.

But that’s just me.

Anyways, there’s a zillion cliches about what I’m trying to say, and I’m not going to bore you with them. Instead, I’ll say it again: Natalia Rossi is a piece of ass.

I like Natalia Rossi more than I like Indie Pop Rocks on SOMAFM.

I like Natalia Rossi almost better than the new Wilco record. (Buy the vinyl and get the CD free).

I like Natalia Rossi better than the blueberry/ricotta cheese pancakes Little Dom’s serves up at their Sunday brunch.

I like Natalia Rossi almost better than Wilco’s Monday night show last month at the Wiltern.

I like Natalia Rossi as much as I like Katie St. Ives.

And that’s saying a lot, cause Katie St. Ives is super fucking hot. She’s got the kind of look that says “Return to Witch Mountain” way more than, say, “I wanna jerk you off.” That’s way hotter, right? Well…wait. That might not sound appropriate. I’m thinking now it’s not too wise to cite a Disney flick on a porn blog, and while I should just highlight the majority of the paragraph and hit the DELETE button, I’m gonna go ahead and stand by it.

Just like I’m gonna stand by this: Wilco’s Monday show last month at the Wiltern might have been one of the greatest live shows I’ve ever seen. Seriously. Now, you know I’m Gay For Wilco, so you’re thinking this something along the lines of this dude can’t be serious…but I am. I bet I’ve been to hundreds of shows since my very first one (Van Halen, Celebrity Theater, Summer of ’78) to my very last one (Wilco, Wiltern, June 22 2009) and I’m gonna say those guys are doing shit that not a lot of musicians can pull off. They’re just six dudes playing as one, and that’s something really special.

Let’s digress. Wilco was way better than the Sonic Youth show a few years back, and they’ve been playing together for 20+ years; Wilco ruled over Johnny Thunders circa ’86 (but probably not circa ’76 (who was he playing with in ’76?)); Wilco was way better than the Chili Peppers / Pearl Jam / Nirvana show, but that’s mainly cause I caught that show in the parking lot cause I wouldn’t shell out $30 to the scalpers; Wilco ruled over The Who show I caught in 1980 that was stopped 1/2 through due to an electric outage during a summer monsoon for over 2 hours…and when they walked back on stage they fucking absolutely shredded Baba O’Riley; Wilco might not have been as good as Karen Finley jamming yams up her cootchie and screaming all sorts of disturbing things at her audience; Wilco walked over almost any Meat Puppets show I ever caught (20 or 30 of ’em between ’84 to ’92); Wilco was way better than Annabella belting I Want Candy in her purple mini and Indian moccasins; and Wilco’s encores were better than when the Chili Peppers used to put tube socks over their weens for their encores (which, almost every time, was Hendrix’s “Fire”); Wilco’s encores were even better than Eels covering “La Grange” after almost everyone had left the building and the house lights had come back up (a haw, haw, haw, haw, a haw)).

A haw, haw, haw, haw, a haw.
A haw, haw, haw.

Well, I hear it’s fine if you got the time
and the ten to get yourself in.
A hmm, hmm.
And I hear it’s tight most ev’ry night,
but now I might be mistaken.
hmm, hmm, hmm.

Ah have mercy.

Tara Lynn Foxx at Gloryhole and Blacks on Blondes

Tara Lynn Foxx and Cameron Love Blacks on Blondes
I’m about to jump a plane outta here, but before I do I wanted to tell ya about this week’s updates at Blacks on Blondes and Gloryhole, cause Über-Hottie and porno newbie Tara Lynn Foxx is part of both of them.

Take note: I’ve never used “Über” here, and it’s just my way of saying goodbye to Germany as I head outta here. I wonder if anyone’s ever used “Über” to describe something pornographic? And using the umlaut correctly?

I think not.

At B.O.B., I had Tara Lynn and Cameron Love work each other a bit before they worked Jack Napier’s XXXXXL black dong. This includes Tara and Cameron taking turns cleaning each others’ butts with their tongues. I think the scene turned out well. Both of these girls are black cock sluts in real life.

Really, they are.

I think Cameron squirted all over the place, too…but I don’t recall now. Funny, but I kinda forget about the scenes I shoot almost immediately after I shoot them. Anways, both girls really gave their all, and I appreciated it.

A few days earlier Tara and I jumped into the van and headed out to a glory hole I found that’s still very cruisy.

Cruisy gloryhole.

I remember when The Producer said he wanted to start a glory hole site.

“Aren’t those a gay thing?” I asked.

He said, “Not anymore.”

Anyways, here’s Tara Lynn Foxx’s mySpace, and her Twitter. I know how much she loves her fans, and that’s why I’m posting the links here. Say hello to her. Who knows…maybe she’ll love you long time.

Someone recently commented that they don’t want anything but porno on a porn blog, and I kinda agree…so I’m gonna keep ISP more porno now.

What old school TV cop used to say, “Just the facts, mam?”

OK — I gotta run. It’s a long way home.

Tara Lynn Foxx and Cameron Love Blacks on Blondes

Bobbi Starr Interracial Anal Gangbang!

Bobbi Starr interracial
This week’s update at the world famous Blacks on Blondes features Bobbi Starr getting gang banged by 4 well hung black dudes. She also gets DP’d. DP = double penetration = a dick up her butt whilst one is filling her cunt.

When I sat down to write today’s blog, all I knew was I’d give you some free dirty movies, so here they are:

Bobbi Starr gloryhole movies.

Bobbi Starr interracial sex movies.

But that’s kinda cheap, so I wondered what I was gonna write about, and I don’t have much time, cause I’m about to go on a walking tour in Prague called “The History of Communist Czechoslovakia” when I remembered I have a Bobbi Starr story. I dunno if it’s a good one or not, but I’ll tell it.

I was walking with Civilian Girl in a trendy, kinda-upscale neighborhood in Los Angeles when I heard someone yell, “Billy Watson?!”

I know I’ve told you this before, but I’ll mention it again: we sometimes refer to people who aren’t in the porno game as “civilians”, and this specific girl I was hanging out with is an old, old, friend who knew me long before I was Billy Watson…and will know me long after I’m all done being Billy Watson. We had just finished up a small bottle of wine and shared a dinner at a fancy-pants Italian place and were walking by the cupcake store when I heard my name.

That’s right — a motherfucking cupcake store. What’s the world coming to?

Anyways, it was Bobbi Starr and Dana De Armond, and they were both enjoying their yummy, over-priced cupcakes. Dana had one; Bobbi had two. They’re big cupcakes, too…so I kinda surprised me that Bobbi was tackling two of them. It’s something I would never do…at least not back-to-back sitting in front of the place.

Funny thing was, I totally checked them out as Civilian Girl and I strolled past their table, but I was being a creepy perv (my usual self) and only looked at their tits — Dana’s tits, specifically. I hadn’t even taken the time to connect the face to the tits I was staring at…so I walked by them without even knowing who it was.

Bobbi said, “it is Billy Watson!”

Civilian Girl got to meet porn stars. It’s funny, too, cause as we had left my very favorite record store to go to the trendy LA spot to drink wine and eat Italian food, Civilian Girl was telling me how, in another life, she probably would have been a porn star: she’s adopted, she’s a total slut, and, much to my surprise, she admitted to me that she’s a cutter. Right there in the car ride to dinner. I’ve known this girl for almost 20 years and she’s just telling me now that she’s a Cutter. Which is to say she cuts herself from time to time. Usually when she’s feeling down…or anxious. With something sharp. Usually on her inner-thighs, so no one can see.

Most of the porno girls I’ve shot who cut usually work their arms, which, to me, is really silly. Wouldn’t it make sense to self-mutilate by going to town on somewhere not so conspicuous?

(As I’m banging this out my very favorite internet radio station — SOMA FM / Indie Pop Rocks — is playing Elliot Smith. Serious! Irony?)

The members have rated Dana’s scene in the top 5 on the whole site; Bobbi’s scene that just went up is tops. As in number 1. So it should make sense that Bobbi and Dana usually get a few bucks more for doing a scene than some of their peers. Which is totally unfair, especially when some of their peers deliver a scene every bit as good as Bobbi and Dana.

But whoever said life is fair?

Bobbi saved one of her cupcakes for the ride home, and I know this cause they asked me to drive them back to Dana’s house. Or was it Bobbi’s? I don’t recall…but I do recall the conversation back, which included topics as diverse as Dana’s new braces and their potential effect on oral scenes, as well as the problems that come with performing double anal.

Bobbi and Dana jumped out and we said our goodbyes; we pulled away and Civilian Girl said, “Um…that certainly was interesting. You lead an interesting life.”

“I guess so.”

Bobbi Starr interracial

Annette Schwartz — Porno Princess

Annette Schwartz interracial sex movies

Since I’m in Germany, and I just shook my jet lag, and I’m paying 22E a motherfuckin’ day to access the internet at this goddamn place (can you tell I’m pissed?) I thought I’d scribble a little bit about Annette Schwartz, cause I love her so.

Annette Schwartz might be the finest adult performer ever. She’s certainly the best I’ve ever shot. She was so good on my set that when my mom called to see how I was doing that day, I put Annette on the phone. I mean why not?

Mom knows what I do for a living, and I’m such a momma’s boy I usually call her once a day, just cause my mom fucking rules. She’s not excited I’m Porno, but then again she wasn’t excited when I was Stock Market. She was very excited when I was Education.

I told my mom I wanted to marry Annette, and then I just handed Annette the phone.

“Hello Mrs. Watson,” Annette said.

I dunno what my mom said, cause she was talking to Annette — and not me.

“I’m sorry, but if I marry your son, I will take him away from you and we will go to Germany.”

So that’s why I’m writing about Annette now, cause I’m in Germany, and I just went to a Beer Garden, where I dined on a couple brat, a pretzel, and washed it all down with a mighty fine mug o’ beer.

Here’s some free Annette Schwartz interracial sex movies.

Here’s some free Annette Schwartz handjob movies.

It wasn’t too long after Annette gave this handie that the conversation I just told you about all went down.

Annette’s hands were clean when I handed her my phone.

Her agent gave me Annette’s e-mail before I left on my trip, but he told me it would take “forever” for Annette to answer if I wrote, so I decided against it. Besides, even though I love Annette, this trip is all about Everything non-porno.

Which is to say I need a break.