A Few Things I Love In My Life, Lately…

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Jessi Stone. Jessi Stone? Jessi Stone! Barely-legal blondie from the East Coast of Florida, and one of my very favorite girls to shoot as of late. We even got in the van and took a trip to the gloryhole. The result? The members ranked her 9.8 out of 10 — a whopping .6 higher than 2nd place vote-getter Dana DeArmond. I think there’s 350+ scenes on the site now…so that’s saying a lot.

Jay Reatard: I caught Jay at an in-store at my favorite records store in California — Amoeba. Imagine The Meat Puppets…circa 1983…when they were good. What I thought was going to be a 3 song set turned into a quite a show. I think Jay did at least a dozen songs, all of which rocked my silly little world. Too bad the staff at the store didn’t feel the same. Jay referred to Amoeba as the over-sized “Wal-Mart of record stores”, launched a few cans of Bud Light high into the air, and grabbed one of his records off the shelf and smashed it to bits. Punk rock lives.

The Cheap Trick / Poison / Def Leppard show at Cricket Pavilion, Phoenix AZ 8.29.09: You read right, fuckers. This weekend I hooked up with some high school chums and we relived the power that was 1985. Well…’83? And actually, I was all over Cheap Trick by ’78, which was the only band I paid attention to this night. The rest of the night I drank way too much and tried to pick up the hot blonde MILF next to me. It was the first time I hit on a girl my age in 7 years. (Failure). But how could I miss the power of C.C. DeVille, especially when the crowd chanted his name during a mad solo? Or the flames shooting up into the air behind Brett?! Or the one-armed-drummer pounding out Pour Some Sugar On Me!! My Lord.

My new iPhone: Uh huh. I finally broke down and did it. So don’t fuck with me. Creepy Q — Editor Extraordinaire — called me a “tool box” upon showing it off, and he refuses to even look at the Apple sticker affixed to the back of my car. Uh huh. An Apple sticker. Right next to the Wilco one…and right below the Amoeba sticker.

Kurt Vile: The self-proclaimed “Philly’s Constant Hitmaker”, I caught Vile opening for Dungen at The Troubadour last week. I only went to see Vile, actually; I had no idea who Dungen was as I strolled through the doors with my camera in tow to snap a few pics of Vile on his banjo. His latest effort — Constant Hitmaker — hasn’t left my turntable in almost two weeks. Kinda reminds me of a lo-fi, super cool 21st century version of Nebraska. Well…kinda. Just kinda. Barely just kinda.

Chanel — The World’s Oldest Dog: Chanel stole sticks of butter and hid them behind her sofa. Chanel wore goggles cause of the cataracts in her eyes and sweaters cause she was always cold, and, right before she died, spent her 21st birthday at a doggie hotel / spa. 21 doggy years means 147 for you and me.

The Beatles: On 09/09/09 we get the entire Beatles’ catalog reissued in a box set in both stereo and mono. God damn I fucking love the Beatles. Each and every song. I really don’t think they ever recorded a throw-away; this includes “Blue Jay Way”, “Wild Honey Pie”, and “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road”. (I’m going for the mono box, by the way).

Maoam: Oh, these clever candy makers used a palindrome when they named their candy! That alone means I like it at least a little bit. (I’ve never tasted Maoam). I like the new cover art, too…but some parents in the UK (where they’ve been marketing Maoam for years I guess) don’t: One upset parent quipped, “The lemon and lime are locked in what appears to be a carnal encounter. The lime, whom I assume to be the gentleman in this coupling, has a particularly lurid expression on his face.” Uh huh. And I wonder if the candy tastes as good as pussy?

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16 thoughts on “A Few Things I Love In My Life, Lately…”

  1. i’d hold fire on the Maoam thing for a bit. it was one letter of complaint sent to a notoriously perma-outraged newspaper, which as well as the bits you quoted, contained fabulously choice lines like this:

    “… I demanded to see the shop manager and during a heated exchange my wife became quite distressed and had to sit down in the car park.”

    if that alone doesn’t suggest a wind-up, the letter was supposedly sent by someone called Simon Simpkins from Pontefract … Pontefract is where Haribo(Maoam) are based in the UK, Simpkins is the name of an old-fashioned, traditional confectionary manufacturer local to the region, and no Simon Simpkins was found in the phone book for Pontefract.

    all the designs have been like that for years, (go find the one where the lime is bangin’ a coupla young cherries), coincidentally, later this month they are giving away 600,000 Maoam as part of a new nationwide promotion.

    so there’d be nothing worse than to fall hook, line and sinker for some piece of cynically engineered, tailor-made to go viral, PR bollocks. all the while, the coke-addled cunts in the marketing agency get paid in full, laugh their asses off, and try once again to make us all look like mugs for whatever else they’re trying to hawk.

    anyhow, never mind all that, good call on the mono.

  2. There was a period in the early 90’s that I saw Cheap Trick three times in concert and each time the price kept getting lower. It started at $7, $2 and finally it was free. Nice to see they are getting some revenue….The Dream Police!!

  3. Yo Billy, you are right my friend, that Jessi Stone is hot as hell. Were you able to shoot her for Blacks on Blondes as well?

  4. let me guess another nigger site? stop catering to closet homosexual rednecks who crave nigger dick

  5. I gotta agree with you RE: The upcoming Beatles re-masters. These are made all the more exciting (for me) because the project was headed up by George Martin’s son Giles who is himself an outstanding sound engineer. I too ordered the mono box because those are the mixes the Beatles themselves cared about and sat in on!

    BTW – Amoeba declared Wed Sept. 9th to be “Beatles Day” Woo Hoo!!!

    P.S. – sorry about your iPhone…

  6. Billy, you need to bring Ms Jessi Stone back for some Blacks on Blondes action. Introduce her to Wesley Pipes and his friends! Now that would be a scene!

  7. Billy,

    The Jessi Stone is really very beautiful!
    Jessi is a gem!
    Please, Billy Jessie will blacksonblondes and cuckoldsessions?
    Please Jessie in BOB and cuckoldsessions !!!
    Lexi diamond, has two works in manojob, she came out of quarantine, please Lexi in gloryhole, BOB and cuckoldsessions!

  8. Maoam has been around for ages in Germany and nobody EVER complained about the wraper. It actually tastes pretty good eventhough not good as pussy. Hey Billy you want me to send you some??

  9. Oh Jesus, fond memories. In 1984 I was at a military base in San Diego when they marched us down for this USO-type concert. We had to sit in an orderly fashion while the mostly-lame show played out, but they eventually brought out rockers Kansas & Cheap Trick and I think maybe a Beach Boy or two for a few songs, and that was pretty fucking cool. “Surrender”!

  10. Oh, Jessi make my dick ‘Stone’ hard. Please make her come back in gloryhole(if Julia Ann & Ashli Orion comeback in just short time, why won’t her too?)..make her look hotter, keep the hairstyle,give bigger cock (circumcised one, I just hate to see a hot girl like her sucking on an uncut dick), give a tit fucking,cock-slapping & longer fucking; it would easily get 10/10 from me..love also to see her gangbang in BOB & Cuckold Session..

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