Natalia Rossi — World Class Dick Sucker; Wilco — World Class Band.

Natalia Rossi movies
Natalia Rossi is a piece of ass. I dunno what else to say. Except lately I’ve been letting the members of my BJ site — The Dick Suckers — cast the girls who appear on the site. I dunno if I’ve ever really talked about how I cast the girls who appear in my movies, so why not now?

I’ll keep this brief: I want to say I cast girls based on their looks, but I learned long ago that’s a losing proposition. Why? Cause my “10” is your “7”, and your “10” is my “2”. And while I’m sure we can all define ugly, and we might be able to point out the ugly girl in the crowd, not all of us are gonna point to the same girl.

Where am I going with this?

Well, I don’t shoot ugly girls.

How about this: my old partner at Spunkmouth loves peroxide blondes in lingerie with huge bolt-ons.

I’ll take my Porno Princess looking like she’s about to go out on a first date.

But that’s just me.

Anyways, there’s a zillion cliches about what I’m trying to say, and I’m not going to bore you with them. Instead, I’ll say it again: Natalia Rossi is a piece of ass.

I like Natalia Rossi more than I like Indie Pop Rocks on SOMAFM.

I like Natalia Rossi almost better than the new Wilco record. (Buy the vinyl and get the CD free).

I like Natalia Rossi better than the blueberry/ricotta cheese pancakes Little Dom’s serves up at their Sunday brunch.

I like Natalia Rossi almost better than Wilco’s Monday night show last month at the Wiltern.

I like Natalia Rossi as much as I like Katie St. Ives.

And that’s saying a lot, cause Katie St. Ives is super fucking hot. She’s got the kind of look that says “Return to Witch Mountain” way more than, say, “I wanna jerk you off.” That’s way hotter, right? Well…wait. That might not sound appropriate. I’m thinking now it’s not too wise to cite a Disney flick on a porn blog, and while I should just highlight the majority of the paragraph and hit the DELETE button, I’m gonna go ahead and stand by it.

Just like I’m gonna stand by this: Wilco’s Monday show last month at the Wiltern might have been one of the greatest live shows I’ve ever seen. Seriously. Now, you know I’m Gay For Wilco, so you’re thinking this something along the lines of this dude can’t be serious…but I am. I bet I’ve been to hundreds of shows since my very first one (Van Halen, Celebrity Theater, Summer of ’78) to my very last one (Wilco, Wiltern, June 22 2009) and I’m gonna say those guys are doing shit that not a lot of musicians can pull off. They’re just six dudes playing as one, and that’s something really special.

Let’s digress. Wilco was way better than the Sonic Youth show a few years back, and they’ve been playing together for 20+ years; Wilco ruled over Johnny Thunders circa ’86 (but probably not circa ’76 (who was he playing with in ’76?)); Wilco was way better than the Chili Peppers / Pearl Jam / Nirvana show, but that’s mainly cause I caught that show in the parking lot cause I wouldn’t shell out $30 to the scalpers; Wilco ruled over The Who show I caught in 1980 that was stopped 1/2 through due to an electric outage during a summer monsoon for over 2 hours…and when they walked back on stage they fucking absolutely shredded Baba O’Riley; Wilco might not have been as good as Karen Finley jamming yams up her cootchie and screaming all sorts of disturbing things at her audience; Wilco walked over almost any Meat Puppets show I ever caught (20 or 30 of ’em between ’84 to ’92); Wilco was way better than Annabella belting I Want Candy in her purple mini and Indian moccasins; and Wilco’s encores were better than when the Chili Peppers used to put tube socks over their weens for their encores (which, almost every time, was Hendrix’s “Fire”); Wilco’s encores were even better than Eels covering “La Grange” after almost everyone had left the building and the house lights had come back up (a haw, haw, haw, haw, a haw)).

A haw, haw, haw, haw, a haw.
A haw, haw, haw.

Well, I hear it’s fine if you got the time
and the ten to get yourself in.
A hmm, hmm.
And I hear it’s tight most ev’ry night,
but now I might be mistaken.
hmm, hmm, hmm.

Ah have mercy.

4 thoughts on “Natalia Rossi — World Class Dick Sucker; Wilco — World Class Band.”

  1. Heya Billy,

    That’s pretty high praise for Wilco vis-a-vis The Who circa 1980. They were pretty young and energetic (minus Keith Moon) at that time. Will check them out next time they are in the area based on your recommendation.

    Thanks! As far as hot vs. not so hot chicks go. I completely agree with you that tastes vary from person to person and probably with mood. I can say that from time to time a peroxided blonde with bolt ons is perfect spank material and at other times the it’s the girl next door.


  2. Wow, I saw Meat Puppets in ’86 on the Up On The Sun tour and they were pretty fucking hard to beat.

    Kurt confided that he had plenty of heroin and speed before the show, which in retrospect isn’t that cool (at the time, my 18-year-old self thought it was badass), but at least he wasn’t playing a half-assed show because he was dope-sick. (I suspect a number of shows I saw in the late 80s/early 90s were ruined by the strung-out band’s inability to make a pre-show score.

    Still, you said 20-30 MP shows; I guess they couldn’t have been dope sick for *all* of them!

  3. Billy,

    I was recently emailed a link to your interview with natalia and soon realized why. While it has long been known to me that she has been in the industry this is the first and only time that i know of she spoke about the sewer. While she was right on some of the points there were a few small discrpencies… the guy was born 88, she was born 89 so he was only 14. (kinda a big difference) however there are two key points that were left out of this story. 1. We tried to go back to my house first but my dad had come home from work early, we then snuck into her house but her dad was a COMPLETE psyco so we decided to bail out down the bike path to the creek… we then decided on the water drainage tunnels from the mountains ( a sewer)… 2. And this is the kicker, she TOLD HER MOM ABOUT IT and her mom called my house and left this long ass voicemail on our home phone answering machine. ( the kind you just come home and hit play on) and yes i had to sit and listen in front of my parents and sisters while her mom ranted on about me and her daughter going at it in a sewer… as im sure you have figured out by now I am the guy she talked about in your interview… lol its tooooo funny that she even remembers that but she was a cool ass chick and i give her props on making it big…

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