random rants

The Pyschology of Porn

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John Holmes

I’ve been big lately on psychology and our upbringing, and the way it relates to porn, although I never really studied psych in school – besides the obligatory Psych 101. Anyway, I’m always looking for ties to why people do what they do. Cause we live in a crazy world. And it all comes back to what happened to us when we were young.

As it relates to porn? Well, I’ll get to that…but this goes not only for the talent in my business, but for what you and I look for when we look at porn as consumers.

See, I’m a big fan of facials, and lately, I think I know why. And before that, for a very short time and a very long time ago, I was a huge fan of lesbians…again, I think I know why.

I’ll start with the lesbian thing first: it’s 1977, and I’m in 7th grade, and about 3 blocks away from where I was living then, lay the desert. The wide open, rattlesnakes and scorpions, desert. Now it’s a strip mall, but then, you could find a horny toad, a scorpion, and a rattlesnake if you turned over the three closest rocks.

We also found a pile of stroke mags once, under a Palo Verde tree, and as secretly as possible, we hustled them back to our fort. What a haul! It was better than sunken treasure: tons of Oui, Playboy, Penthouse, and the very best of the lot – Hustler. What filth! And it was in that pile o’ gold I saw my first pics of girl-on-girl sex, and it made my head spin.

Our fort turned into a lending library for all the boys in the neighborhood.

I couldn’t think of anything else for the next, say, 2 years. On the way to school, it was all about girls licking each other’s boobies. I’d be in Mr. Boswell’s algebra class, thinking about girls making out. In PE class, girls licking each other’s vaginas. After school, I’d race to the fort and grab something off the circulation desk – usually a Hustler – and head home and beat my meat until I couldn’t anymore. Or, until it was time for dinner. Usually while listening to Boston’s first record, or Frampton Comes Alive.

Things all changed in 9th grade. I was 14. My pal Biff had an older brother, Todd. Todd was going to be a senior in high school. We all looked up to Todd, for various reasons, the biggest being his library of Swedish Erotica. Super 8 films. And the literature/pamphlets that went along with them. Add to that their dad’s super 8 projector, and after school Biff’s house was a stag party. Better than a Friday night at the local VFW Hall.

John Holmes was The King. Seka, The Queen. Then there was Sharon Mitchell. Ron Jeremy. Aunt Peg. And various actors and actresses you’d see once, and never see again. Kinda like now.

The super 8 shorts didn’t have much of a plot, lasted less than 10 minutes, and I think Todd had maybe four of them. Five tops. And while they were watching the movies, I’d have to “take a piss” and I’d grab one of the pamphlets, and it was there I saw, for the first time, a picture of a girl getting a facial.

My lord! What in the world? It made my head spin. Obviously more than the lesbians. And sometimes, I don’t think my head stopped spinning…until I started making dirty movies. (Feel “addicted” to porn? Just become a director, my friend. You’ll be instantly cured.)

It’s the reason why I had my hand in creating sites like Spunkmouth and Jizz On My Glasses. It’s the reason why I rented Peter North movies, when I rented porn. And even though interracial sex fiends love to see cream pie endings to their favorite films, I usually opt out for the facial when I’m in the director’s seat. It’s not about the humiliation factor, either, although I know that’s what pushes a lot buttons for most dudes; to me, it’s just about seeing something sexy that isn’t natural, I suppose. Just like lesbos.

Sometimes, I wonder what happened to poor Rob Black and Max Hardcore when they were growing up…

Seka

Super Fun E-mails, Whatever Happened to Her?

Super fun e-mails.

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Chelci Fox
J. writes:

I’m new to your blog but it’s definitely the most candid blog I’ve read on porn. I like your NO bullshit style about the business and the fact that you shoot porn but you can critique it honestly is amazing. Porn isn’t at all glamour and glitz as it is trying to portray. I like the bit on Eon Mckai too. Have you seen his Myspace yet? He think’s he’s so hip and artistic. I agree with you 100% a lot of porn directors think they are artists or the next Spielberg when it’s simply all just smut. Gregory Dark is embarrassed of his porn past since he’s made it mainstream. The stuff you said about Jenna is true too. All her new stuff is crap. I read the bit you wrote on Austin O’Reilly and I wanted to ask you what did you mean when you said that if you spend too much time in porn you are doomed? Aren’t most of the girls happy they are getting paid a lot of money for doing what they love to do? Thanks, J.

Hi J!

Thanks for your kind words. I really appreciate them.

I have not seen Eon Mckai’s myspace; I have no interest in him or his space. I still stand by the stuff I said about him and Jenna Jameson, too.

It is all about the smut man, nothing else…I couldn’t agree with you more. No acting, no arty-farty stuff…just show me the action.

As far as being doomed, it’s exactly what I meant. Sure, these girls love getting paid. Who doesn’t? But for the most part, it ends there. And remember, J., this is, overall, a fairly nasty business, filled with fairly nasty people. In addition, society can be mighty tough, too. In fact, downright hateful. And it’s the haters who publically bash and privately consume the most porn, which is another one of life’s oxymorons.

I guess what I’m trying to say is a life in the adult entertainment business isn’t the best thing for a person sometimes…that’s it.

Especially if you’re female talent. For the most part, the female talent ended up in this business cause they were bashed as youngesters – both mentally and physcially – and then when they hit Porno Land, thinking they’re going to be the next Jenna, they get bashed again. Then, when they bail from Porno Land, the get bashed again…this time by the knuckleheads, simpletons, and dolts in their hometown.

Oh sure, there’s some who are cut out for such a thing, just like there’s people cut out to thrive in the penny stock business, or the car sales business, or the business of selling teeny-tiny ads in newspapers all over the coutry, generating tens of thousands in one’s spare time.

Hope this helps, J…and enjoy the pictures of Chelci Fox. She’s one of the 99% that entered the hardcore business, then quit almost immediately; however, she’s still doing softcore work. I was lucky enough to shoot her for a Spunkmouth movie for the week and a half she was still doing hardcore work. (Soon, she will have her own softcore site! Keep an eye out!!!)

Your pal, Billy

Chelci Fox

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Eat Some Ass. Toss a Salad. Rim Jobs.

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Eat Some Ass

Speaking of starting new websites, Eat Some Ass just went live yesterday!

My partners in the Spunk Enterprise (J. and B.) and I met for long, long hours in our secret board room, and working from multiple ideas generated from marketing plans we paid top professors working at various Ivy League Graduate Schools to generate, Eat Some Ass was born.

In fact my partner B. went to a very prestigious art school and is quite a master. He’s been a part of group shows, had solo shows, and even made a living (for a while) making art. With all his artistic might he created what I think is the finest web graphic for a dirty site ever created. That’s right, a mighty big statement. There it is, to your left.

(Note the slobbery tounge and the quivering assholes.)

Remember, the niche thingy I talked about the day before yesterday? When I talked about the birth of Manojob? We didn’t want to take any chances with a new concept, so we brought in some professionals…and after paying tens of thousands of dollars consulting some of today’s top think tanks, we came to a conclusion: eating ass is a nasty, filthy thing. And pervy pervs surfing the internet drunk at 2 am after an unsuccessful evening of schmoozing potenital suitors over drinks at the local watering hole, angry angry men, home alone, beating their meat, love to watch girls do nasty, filthy things. Mainly cause they’re angry.

One group at a think tank told us they get pissed cause maybe that night the chick only put out a phone number, or maybe didn’t even put that out. They’re pissed cause their roomate’s getting laid, they’re pissed cause they got the chick home and she wouldn’t put out, and after multiple requests for her to do so, she put 1/2 her clothes back on and left. They’re pissed cause instead of fucking a girl they’re fucking a fist full of warm creamy lotion. And when dudes get angry they are more likely to grab a towel, wipe off their hands, and pull their credit card out in order to watch The Enemy do awful, gnarly things…and finish the task at hand.

And tossing a dude’s salad is pretty gnarly.

I’ve dated two girls who have indeed tossed mine. I’ll admit right now it’s kinda tickley and funny and naughty all at the same time. And I’ll admit the experience was heightened a bit knowing my gal was committing an act the church frowned upon.

An old friend of mine, GW, loved getting his salad tossed so much it was one of his prerequisites for dating a girl.

Is there something kinda gay about it? I mean it’s weird, cause getting into the cannonball position, or going doggystyle so your chick can lick your dumper is somewhat gay in a sense. I would never go doggy to have my salad tossed; however, I did get in the cannonball position.

But no way am I gay.

Anways, we’ve got a stellar lineup of talent for the site: we got Deja Dare to tickle a brown star with her tounge; we got now-you-see-her-now-you-don’t Tricia Davis to lick a bunger; my lovely friend Sophia ate some ass; Sophie Dee munched some butt; Sahara Knite frenched a sphinctor; Angela Stone chowed down on a keester, and she got so worked up she made her pussy squirt mulitple times; Lyla Lei dined on a rear end.

Um, get the picture?

If not, Cherry Poppens mouthed a shitter.

So now you do have it. Or, it is what it is.

Super Fun E-mails

Super fun e-mails.

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A fun toon

Actually not an e-mail, but a comment on one of my Riley Mason blog entries from a Mr. Dennis Moore:

Dear Mr. Piece Of Shit I Shoot Porn Man,

Where do you think you get off, calling us Indy Rock Dudes “a nutty bunch?” You don’t know the first thing about Indy Rock. Sure, you might could convince a dumb prostitute you do, but that kinda trick won’t turn on us. I know, I know; you were only saying those things to keep your hooker happy, and it probably worked. She probably smeared mayonnaise on some dude’s cock, and he probably ejaculated, and there’s probably some other dude doing the same thing to himself while he watches it right now. But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re a fuckin’ cockroach. Name dropping Death Cab? Mighta been Indy… six years ago, dumbass.

And yeah, go ahead, come back at this with a remark about how often I get laid, as if you getting laid is anything special. You either A: pay a prostitute to have sex with you, or B: trick prostitutes into thinking you’re cool for having sex with other prostitutes to the point where they wanna give you a freebie. You really know how to play “the game!” Fuckin’ idiot. Your shit isn’t even good. OMG, JOMG! Bet you feel like a regular marketing genius for breaking into the semen-on-spectacles niche. Or was that Cum Covered Glasses? Either way, die of AIDS.

Dennis Moore

PS. Keep up the good work!

Poor Dennis. Such an angry man. Imagine walking around all day with that much anger builing up inside. So much that you wish a fatal diesease upon someone. Sometimes I think people who hate went through some serious psychological trauma as a child…like, maybe, getting caught beating the meat by momma and poppa in junior high.

By the way, did I mention I’m starting to practice Tibetan Buddhism? I’m very serious here. I was baptized, made my first confession, and took communion as a Catholic, then my parents quit dragging me and sis to church. We went for Midnight Mass and Easter for a few more years, but that was it. I thought about returning to the Church in 97 while in grad school, but nah…The Pope as infallible just didn’t do it for me.

Now, every morning, I get up and try to remember to recite my daily Buddhist prayer: “May all living beings be happy. May they not suffer. How wonderful it would be if they could find permanent happiness. May everyone attain liberation. May I help other beings reach enlightment.”

I know. What a hypocrite. How in the world can someone spiritual create something so awful and dirty like pornography? It’s really one of the dilemmas in my life.

Little Brother, on the other hand, doesn’t care about Buddhism. This is his reply to “Indy Rock” Dennis Moore:

Tell him Indie Rock is for pussies whose older brother used to listen to the Cure. They wanted to be so much like their older brother, that they went out and bought the “Garden State” soundtrack cause it was Indie. As soon as you get your ass to a TurboNegro show with Eagles of Deathmetal opening, then you can have this chat in person. Fuck Indie is gay. Let me ask you this, Dennis? Where is your Compass Star tattoo? Prolly above your ass crack, to make a nice bullseye when your boyfriend ejaculates all over your back while those pussies the Shins are playing on your super cool turntable… n00b

and GBV suck too… fucker

May all living beings be happy. May they not suffer. How wonderful it would be if they could find permanent happiness. May everyone attain liberation. May I help other beings reach enlightment.

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How’s a handjob turn into a Mano Job?

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Mano Job

I was sitting around my office one day, dreaming up a new site. A site that would be all mine. Ooohhhh sure, I own sites – Spunkmouth and JOMG, for example – but I’m a co-owner. I own a third. 33.3%. I wanted something to be alllll mine.

I can get greedy like that; I want all the pie, damnit…not a silly 33.3% of the pie.

Since it would be all mine, that meant I’d be funding the whole deal (duh!); in addition, the first thing you think about when whipping up a site is content. What’s my new site gonna be all about? Gangbangs? Blowjobs? Butt fucking?

In this day and age, you really need to settle on a niche. You really don’t want to try and sell a surfer on a site that features gangbangs, blowjobs, and buttfucking, even though all those acts could take place in, for example, a gang bang site.

Am I making sense?

In the internet porno biz, we refer to them as “salad bar sites”; a webmaster is just throwing the potential customer all sorts of different content in hopes of selling them a membership. Join a salad bar site and you might get to see Jenna Jameson blow Randy West, then Peter North buttfuck Chloe, and top it off with a good old interracial gangbang just like the ones you see in the Trailer Trash Whores series.

These sorts of sites worked in 1998; they don’t really do too well now.

When picking your niche, the one big thing to consider is cost. (This is the same when you start-up any business, right? See…making dirty movies is a business just like being a plumber, or owning a body shop and working on cars.) Gangbangs are mighty expensive. Get a good looking girl from a big LA agency, and she’s $1500. You pay her agent $100, and you get 4 or 5 dudes, and you’re at $3000 – before you even think about a studio…and camerman, if you don’t know how to work a camera. Those two things can easily tack on another grand on to your production budget.

On the other hand, BJ’s are simple. And guess what? If you’ve got a steady hand, and you know cameras, and you don’t mind having your dick all over the internet, for $250 you can film yourself getting sucked off by some of today’s hottest starlets. (I use the word “some” because there are porn girls who no longer “do” bj scenes…cause, well, they’re Porn Stars damnit)

The problem with a POV BJ site? Since they’re so cheap and relatively easy to shoot, there’s lots of competition. It’s probably the number one thing a pervy dude breaking into my pervy business begins producing.

Buttfucking isn’t as expensive as a gangbang to shoot…but it ain’t cheap, either. And remember, not all female talent want to get their ass porked, so that gets kinda tricky, and besides, this is gonna be my site, and I can’t afford to book girls for butt sex.

I haven’t even really talked about the “micro-niche”, either. You thought pornographers didn’t know fancy marketing terms, huh? HA! Well, we do…and it’s not just enough anymore to have, say, a BJ site. Whittle it down even more! How about a swallow site? Or, a site where, say, a white dude gets blown by black girls? Or a black guy gets blown by white girls. Why start a buttfucking site when you can start a site where they gape while they’re getting fucked in the rear? (Oh…don’t know what a “gape” is? Click the link for gaping anal sex pictures.)

You learn something new everyday.

I better cut to the chase. I feel, suddenly, like I’m rambling.

I chose to start a handjob site, for a couple reasons. It’s cheap to shoot, and really, there’s not a lot of handjob sites out there that feature exclusive content.

Sidenote: dirty movies (ie “content”) come in two fashions: exclusive and non-exclusive. Exclusive means it’s just on your site and no others; non-exclusive means you bought it from a content provider that sells the same footage, over and over, to as many websites as possible. Guess which is more valuable.

Handjob sites with exclusive content aren’t really all over the place. Really, they’re not. Not compared to, say, the POV BJ sites. So I’m thinking handjob site, cause I found out while doing a bit of due dilligence that there’s a pack of crazy pervs out there who love to watch a girl give a good, old-fashioned handie.

Then, I added a small twist. My handjob site would feature girl-talk only, and filthy girl-only talk at that. No dude chatting up the girl “Hi! How are you? What’s your name? Are those real?” kind of shit…or making dumb jokes and/or grunting noises as he’s blowing his load.

I wanted the girls I shot to look directly into the camera and talk like a filthy tramp, just so you can imagine she’s talking to you while you’re the one getting the handie. Afterall, porn’s all about the fantasy, right?!

Now, a name. More tricky stuff. There’s some big do’s and don’ts when you’re buying a URL: stick with “.com” addresses, don’t put a “-” (really a hypen, but almost always incorrectly referred to as a “dash” by almost everyone) in your URL, make sure you have a domain people can actually spell, and remember, the general public has an average education level of 9th grade, so consider that when you’re talking about spelling.

So I’m thinking things like “Beathismeat” and “Jackhimoff” – both available at the time. Then, I consulted my bro, and after a bit of time he tossed out the winner: Manojob.

Mano. Both Latin and Spanish for “hand”…which, for me, is almost as good as handjob.com, which, if offered on the open market, would be worth maybe 6 figures. Not too bad, huh?

I got manojob.com for less than 20 bucks.

Now I’m kinda excited. So I start calling some of my porno pals around town and start shooting manojob scenes. My first couple shot were Dasha (now Lucious Lopez), Erin More (now Ruth Blackwell) and Serena Taylor.

Oh yea, I didn’t mention one thing. Left it out til now. I’m the dude holding the camera. Before you pervy-pervs get all pervy on me, there was only one reason, and one reason only, for POVing this: it’s cost effective! It has nothing to do with getting a handjob from some of the hottest porno girls working the game right now. Nothing at all. Really. I’m being very serious. Strictly a business decision. All buiness. No pleasure. None at all. Really. Serious. I derive almost no pleasure from receiving handies from hot porn whores. Really and truly.

Talent fees add up quickly you know, and think of all the money I’m saving that I can pour back into ManoJob!

Here’s where it gets kinda cool: I went to LA to work for The Producer. Shooting big scenes. And after we wrapped a big scene, I’d get girls that are very, very difficult to book for a handjob scene to give me a ManoJob! Again, this is all strictly business. It has nothing to do with pleasure. Absolutely nothing. But can I tell you again it’s not that easy to book Jasmine Tame or Julia Bond or Tiffany Taylor for a handjob…I just shot Sativa Rose, too. She’ll be up soon.

(I haven’t even told you about the cute blonde sisters from Russia who gave me a handie at the same time, but that’s pervy fodder for another blog.)

So I’ve got my site, and my exclusive content, and my web designer came up with a cool design (more money), and since I envisioned a handjob site where girls look you in the eye and talk dirty to you, I’ve aquired two business partners as well. So I guess I’m back to 33.3% of the pie, but that’s OK…I couldn’t have done it all myself.

Now all I need are members – the toughest part of the whole gig.

Mano Job

stories from porno land (some amusing, some not)

The Truth About Gloryholes

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Kaci in the Hole

We were living in Dogfart’s Secret Mansion when The Producer called us into his room. He had an idea for a brand new website, and he wanted our feedback.

It was me, S.S., and Dogfart. Justin Timberlakefeelsyourpain was rarely involved in meetings like this.

“I just bought the domain gloryhole.com,” The Producer said. “It costs me a lot of money, but I think I’ve really got something here. How do you guys feel about shooting gloryhole scenes?”

I knew a thing or two about gloryholes. I know I blogged this once…when I was studying in college, and I needed to make a poopie, and I was at the University Library, and I usually don’t drop a duece away from my house, but I thought I was gonna make boom boom in my pants, so I went ahead and went, and when I jumped into the stall, there were holes drilled into the wall, and I thought what the fuck is this? cause I had no idea what those holes were in the stall for, and I made boom boom and left and never thought about it again.

That was 1984.

It’s 2003, and The Producer wants my input on Gloryholes?

Hell no I’m not shooting gay content. I told this to the producer, straight up.

But The Producer has a new twist on things. He wants to take something very very gay and make it straight. Well, as straight as something like a gloryhole can be. “Now listen: I have some privy information on a gloryhole location. Shit, we got the girls here. Put them in the van, drive them to the hole, and let’s give them some more money to make.”

Did it matter that most of these places are in shitty neighborhoods? Or that they’re gross and filthy and dirty?

The Producer drove us up to – of all places – Oxnard California, the location of some of our earliest gloryole scenes.

Not when you’re paying the girls beyond their rate to blow an anonymous dick. And guess what? Not in the history of HIV has there been one documented case of HIV transmission via a BJ.

I’m 100% serious. Go look it up yourself.

So there you have it. Something I would have never thought of turns into a website. This is why I’m not a wealthy porno producer, and just a simpleton camera man. But things may change soon…

Anyway, here’s some fun gloryhole galleries, with commentary from the very dude who shot them! Fun!!

(Oh, by the way…I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned that I’ve shot every single one of the nearly 150 gloryhole scenes. Some of them Dogfart helped me with, but for the last year or so, I’ve been flying solo…with the exception of a lookout or two…cops are no fun!)

Ouch. My arm hurts from patting myself on the back here. So I’ll quit and show you some “Ghole” madness.

1) Mariah Cherry. In the biz one day, out the next. I think she hailed from the Bay Area…ah! Beautiful San Francisco, land of many, many gloryholes I’m sure. Mariah was cool. I think I was second camera for a Blacks on Blondes shoot with her in it, but now I don’t remember. I do think she had one of the all-time great porno names…and that’s saying a lot.

2) Brittney Madison. RIP. Poor girl…it made me so sad to hear her friend drove off a cliff near Vegas, her hometown. I mean, is it totally tasteless so even show her now that she’s passed? I’d like to hear some comments on this. My take is she’s cool with it, cause she’s in Heaven now, where all porno girls go when they die. I’m fucking serious, too. They all go to Heaven.

3) I forget this kooky girl’s name, but boy, she was kooky. That’s kooky with a k.

4) Dasha! Now Lucious Lopez! She’s pretty popular now among porno geek-fans everywhere. I’m a porno geek fan, too…trust me. I am.

5) Sophie D. My honey. I really like Sophie. She’s such a sport. And she’s a geniune black cock slut. Don’t believe me? Just ask her sometime.

So there you have it…some gloryhole fun, just cause…um, just cause I can?

Super Fun E-mails

Prince Albert

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Prince Albert

A. writes:

Billy,

So is there any demand in the straight porn industry for pierced cock? I see pierced coochie all the time and love it but rarely any cock – not that I like lookin’ at cock or anything, but there’s nothin’ like watchin’ a heet get a good stainless tipped ass ram. I’m just pierced and curious.

-A

Dear A.

Are you sure you’re not looking at The Cock? Cause if you are, well, join the club. Dudes look at other dude’s dicks all the time. Doesn’t mean you’re gay. It’s OK man…don’t sweat it.

A pierced pee-pee is immensely popular in gay culture…but no way are you gay, right?

Your e-mail had me all over the net, cause I wanted to find out why the fuck poor Prince Albert has had his name attached to something that’s totally gay.

Here’s what Wikipedia says: “The Prince Albert piercing is often claimed to be named after Queen Victoria’s consort Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. It is alleged that he wore a ring attached to his penis which was then strapped to his thigh, in order to maintain the smooth line of the tight trousers that were in fashion at the time. It is very difficult to ascertain the validity of this story, and the claim seems highly unlikely. No contemporary account of him adopting the practice has come to light, and many suspect that it was a myth invented by Doug Malloy who helped popularize body piercing in the United States, and who also created much of the false history commonly attached to many body piercings. It has also been theorised that the name actually refers to Queen Victoria’s grandson Prince Albert Victor. This second theory probably stems from attempts to link Prince Albert Victor with the Jack the Ripper murders”

Hey, just out of curiosity, do you wear tight trousers, A?

It’s OK to admit it if you do…really, tight trousers are totally in right now. In fact, Spring Thomas took me clothes shopping recently, cause…well, I haven’t been since 1998. She was all about tight trousers. She even said, after I walked out of the dressing room in a pair I eventually bought, that I had a “nice package, even though it’s only 6 inches.”

Ain’t life grand?

Your pal,

Billy.

Oh! PS: I don’t know why any male pornstars don’t have a pierced dick. None of the ones I have shot do, anyway…however, there’s a lot of gay porn shot in my studio, and all those dudes have their dicks pierced. Hope this helps!

Prince Albert

Guest Bloggers

Today’s Guest Blogger: Mackenzie Wilson

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Guest Blogger Mackenzie Wilson

From time to time I’m going to have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

Second up: Mackenzie Wilson. Mackenzie’s been a Spunkmouth girl; her work has appeared on dozens of other sites – like JOMG; she’s done some DVD work, too. For today’s blog, Mackenzie was nice enough to send pics from her experience last Friday night.

Ok here goes…

So lots of people in mainstream public have this ever-lasting idea that porn stars are all on drugs of some sort all the time, right? I mean, the industry is riddled with money and sex, combined with some very sleazy people, it’s a perfect fit, right? WRONG. Drugs can spell disaster in the industry for many reasons, not to mention they make you spend all the assloads of money you earn. But wait a minute…

There are always exceptions to the ‘rule’, too. Here goes one of them….. me, Ms. Makenzie Wilson: the porno chick who could do no wrong because she actually had a truly super-functional spongy mass of intelligence in that cranium that eventually cried out for some sexual guidance. I will tell you this: I may have done a few things in porn that I’m not proud of in the name of money, but I also regret never taking advantage of the times I was offered a little ‘bump’ or ‘hit’ here or there. I always assumed I’d be automatically addicted and then a crack-smoking, anal-reaming whore for life in the name of ‘Oh God, I need some crystal meth pleez man!’. This past Friday took a bit of a different turn: in the care and safety of my best friend that has ample experience with drugs of all kinds, I tried exstacy. Oh my God, sweet Jesus. Why can’t I LOVE myself as much as I did on those things? I must have masturbated continuously all night.

Guest Blogger Mackenzie Wilson

So we had the strobe lights going, the glow sticks…all that jazz. And I would not shut the fuck up. All I did was sing, feel all over my tits and cunt, and scream “The lights! Look at the lights! Spectacular lights! Ohhh, ohhh, nah nah naaah.” Eventually, heartburn led to sickness led to “Jonathan, oh God, please make this feeling go away.” In the beginning I just loved everyone, and everything, and I was thrashing all over that hotel bed. Man that room got some good lovin’ that night even though I didn’t.Then he gave me some 5-HTP shit to decrease the migraine and nausea effects, which did NO GOOD. I did not sleep the whole night despite trying, and was sick as a fucking dog the next day. O.K….no more X for me. That stuff is just totally not good enough to make me do it again.

Atypical me, again?! I don’t know, but I know that just remembering that night still makes me get sick-just thinking about it. I”m curous about others, though. Meth, coke, etc. I just wanna try them once. I haven’t been ‘addicted’ yet, as they interfere so much with my normal life that I could give a shit if the world was ridded of them all tomorrow. Now, the ‘war on drugs’? Don’t even get me started on that crock of bullshit. Bushit will never win that one.

Guest Blogger Mackenzie Wilson

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Hailey Page

I’m in the editing bay today, working on a Spunkmouth update for this weekend, so I’m gonna keep this short. I just wanted to throw out some galleries of scenes I’ve shot, with a brief comment (or two…or three) with each. Nothing complex, just some sort of brief story that goes along with the scene. Oh, and check out our latest heet, Haley Page!

Here’s an amateur teen I shot a couple years ago. She was 19 at the time. A hairdresser who needed some fast cash. I forget where the dude came from. I do remember the load he blasted her with…giant. Poor girl didn’t know what hit her. But hey, she made her cash, so her car insurance didn’t lapse, or they didn’t repo her car, or her cell phone didn’t get shut off. You know the deal.

Bianca Pureheart. I didn’t shoot this! It’s one of the few on Spunkmouth I didn’t shoot! That day I cut a deal with my studio partner…he just bought some couches from a thrift store, and since he paid for them, I went and lugged them back to our place. Problem was, I had booked Bianca that day. So he shot the scene, and I moved the couches. Oh well…

Tabetha. Whoa. A total cutie, and another amateur I shot a while back. She’s been Amatuer Allure a whole bunch, too. If you like facials, this seriously might be your scene. This poor girl took one to the face, head, mouth…and one glop even flew over her head and landed on the back of her ass. Superb! I liked her so much, I shot her for Mano Job, too!

Madison Monroe. Shot before she found a boyfriend and quit the biz. Well, that might not be true. I think you can still book her, but you have to book her with her dude. Oh, and that snazzy green/gold couch used to be TT Boy’s, so you might recognize it.

Kelly Kline. The first (and only) time I ever shot her. She’s such a sweetie. I love Kelly!

Anyone remember Fionna Cheeks? I shot this scene in a seedy hotel room in Los Angeles, before I got into my studio deal. Afterwards, we went to Mel’s Diner and ate chiliburgers. That’s when she told me all about her time in the US Military.

Yesterday, while my car was being serviced, I had the dealership’s courtesy shuttle take me to IKEA. I love IKEA. It’s greed and consumerism and yummy swedish meatballs all rolled into one special experience. While I was eating my spinach salad, I peered across the cafeteria and guess who I saw?

Kaya!

We made extended eye contact, and then she looked away, and she wouldn’t look at me again. Damn! I wanted so bad to say hello, see what she’s been up to, and hire her again. It’s been 3 years since I’ve seen her. 3 years since I shot her. Damn, she still looks great. I even kinda followed her for a sec, to see if she’d make eye contact with me…then, I realized I was acting creepy, so I went about my business and let her go on her way.

I’m sure that’s the last time I’ll ever see her, too.