Category Archives: Guest Bloggers

Today’s Guest Blogger: Yet Another Take on The Angry Fan

Stacie Jaxxx porn

From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

After posting Art’s guest blog on “the angry porn fan” this weekend, I got some e-mails…and another take on the same subject from a reader named Shane. So I’ll run his take on the angry fan, and then I think it’s safe to say we’re gonna put this topic to rest.

Shane writes:

My $0.02 on the issue:

I’d like to pass on my theory about “angry porn fans”. While I do agree with many points made by the guest poster, and think he makes some good arguments, I don’t think that it is any one thing or common cause for this phenomena. I think that it is a complex issue that has mental, social, and physiological components that all play a part.

If you only consider one part of the equation, then it’s fairly simple to explain.

Guy’s a racist? Then it’s easy to see why he gets inflamed over IR porn. Guy lives in his parent’s basement and his only sexual experience has been tugging off the family dog? It’s easy to see why he resents hot chicks. Some guy is a henpecked jerk with low self esteem who can’t get a blowjob from his spouse? Easy to see why he is ashamed to be punching the monkey huddled over a computer monitor late at night.

Pretty straightforward. So why do some of these guys get so agitated then? Why do they continue to view and seek out materials that disturb and upset them? Why does that anger become so great that they need to express it?

Because I don’t think that it’s that simple.

Jut the simple act of jerking off even without external stimulation causes a powerful cocktail of hormones and natural chemicals to be activated in the body. It can cause strong emotions. Pornographic materials can stimulate and feed into these emotional responses, both mentally and physiologically. Well adjusted porn viewers make the differentiation between the reality that they live in and the fantasies they engage in to get off. Those that can’t are the ones that become angry. They’re the guys that take it personal. At worst, for some of these guys, porn becomes sex by proxy and they internalize it.

The anger develops when there is a factor that causes a conflict with this internalization. This can be due to societal reasons for example. A married man may feel guilty about pulling his pudd to porn because of what his wife or friends might think. There could be personal reasons. Feelings of inadequacy over penis size. Deficiencies in personal sex life. Things like that.

I think that it’s also important to make a distinction between degrees of “angry porn fans”, because I think there is a difference between an angry fan, and an Angry Fan.

Lower case angry fans are the ones that perhaps feel some self loathing after masturbating to pornography. There may be some guilt as to the nature of the materials that stimulated their libido. Their expressions of anger are limited to easily accessible targets. Forum posts, comments on sites, that sort of thing. These are the kinds of guys that are probably angry in general anyway. The guy that flips out and goes into a frothing rant on other (non-porn) forums is this kind of angry guy.

Upper case Angry Fans are those that become angry to the extent that they actively go out of their way to cause harm to specific targets. These are the ones that try to find out the “real” identities of porn actors, and out them, among other things. This type of behaviour is more akin to stalking and to me indicates deeper issues than just anger.

In either case, I think that it is important to note that the cause of the anger is not necessarily related to the porno princess herself, but to the “angry fan’s” feelings about themselves. It’s just that the porno princess becomes a convenient target because of the disparity of anonymity between the “angry fan” and the porno princess, and the social status of the porno princess’s occupation. In other words, it’s easy for a stalker or other wing nut to make ad hominem attacks on a porno princess because much of society will permit or accept it, with little risk to the attacker.

However, porn or no porn, these guys would still be angry, it would just be about something else.

Today’s Guest Blogger: A Fan Blogs on the Hatred Porn Girls Receive.

Riley Reid porn

From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

Since I started working in this biz a decade ago, the amount of hate a Porno Princess receives never ceases to amaze me. Whatever the delivery method (texts (almost always from blocked numbers), anonymous packages (almost always containing pictures and/or DVD’s and sent to the parents’ home…out of “concern”), e-mails, and any and all social media), your favorite porn star gets them almost daily. Don’t do IR? Then you’re a “dodger”. Do IR? Then you’re a “nigger lover”. You’re a slut, a whore, a skank…and I bet you make your daddy proud, huh?

Recently, I tweeted for a fan to blog about why The Porn Fan, in general, is so damn angry. And today, I woke up to find this in my inbox!

Art writes:

First, a definition. While this may not be the dictionary definition, this is the meaning of the following word in the minds of ‘angry’ men viewing porn: Slut – any woman who has slept with more than one man but has not slept with me.

There are generally two types of sluts. The approachable slut that might sleep with me someday. I like her. In fact, I like her so much that calling her a slut is a term of endearment. Then there’s the stuck-up slut who would never give me the time of day. In fact, she is a whore. This is not a term of endearment.

Most men who look at porn on a regular basis are not generally angry. Viewing porn often does however, result in feelings that include anger. Also bitterness, resentment, jealousy, self-doubt, self-loathing… Then why look?

Most men tend to base their self worth on two numbers. Their bank account balance and the number of women they have seen naked. A deficit in one number can often be supplemented by a surplus in the other. The bank account balance is relatively straightforward. The number of naked women is far more complicated and can be offset by recency. i.e. A naked woman on my lap now will temporarily make up for any overall deficit in this number. Unfortunately, our bank account balance is often easier to control than that second number. Most of us don’t have ready access to a happily naked woman. Those who do typically aren’t spending much time looking at porn.

For the rest of us, viewing porn involves a great deal of fantasy. This is why we don’t care about the plot and POV and gonzo are popular. We want to see a woman doing naughty things and want to imagine that we could somehow be involved. Or maybe we want to see naughty things happening to a woman and somehow derive some power from that scenario that we feel is missing from our lives.

Post climax with a woman you’re left with a beautiful naked woman who just fucked you. Post climax with porn and you’re left with just a television or computer and the fantasy comes crashing down around us. Then the emptiness and wanting returns. This is where those negative feelings come into play. We instinctively know that the woman we just wacked off to would never give us the time of day. While she happily spreads her legs for some stranger she would treat us like garbage. In fact, desirable woman we know in our own lives ignore us or treat us like dirt. I think this is responsible for much of the interest in interracial or other porn that is implied as degrading woman. What better way to exact some feeling of revenge than seeing the whore who would never give you the time of day gagging on the floor with a gapping red ass dripping semen from 5 brutally oversized cocks. Won’t even talk to me? Take that bitch! We despise the power she has over us but just can’t break free from her spell.

Then there’s the guy. Who the fuck is he? How does some dipshit stranger who probably barely graduated from high school get to fuck beautiful woman all day. How does he get to do this and we don’t? How does some middle aged guy get to spend time with all of these beautiful naked woman just because he has a fucking camera? I have a camera. Never ever under estimate the self loathing that comes from realizing that we just paid to watch a loser jack off onto the face of a woman we’d really like to have ourselves. And what’s with the abnormally big cocks? Who is that for, exactly? We all know that they’re not normal but it still makes most male viewers of porn feel inadequate about themselves. This results in more negativity.

Then we realize that the reason that douchebag of a guy gets to fuck all those women, and the reason that beautiful girl is a crazed whore… In fact, the reason that whole word exists is because loser average-dicked guys like us pay them. And we often resolve, for a while at least, to stay away. But eventually, the desire to see more naked women and fantasize that they might be into us overcomes the buyers remorse.

Today’s Guest Blogger: Leya Falcon and the Metaphysics of Her Vagina.

Leya Falcon interracial porn

From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way. Except for Leya’s blog. Recently, I tweeted for a Porno Princess to blog on the metaphysics of her vagina. Leya replied, and rather enthusiastically, I might add. I did edit Leya’s blog, but only as far as some punctuation and paragraph structure in order to make it easier to read.

I also called for a porn fan to blog about why most porn fans are so angry, but no takers…so far.

On to Leya.

Vagina. Now most of you probably just got a picture in your head of what you have been led to believe is the vagina; when, in all actuality, what you are envisioning is the vulva. Not the actual vagina. You’re probably asking what the difference is, and I am here to break the news that there is a big difference. The actual vulva is the external area of the female genitals that consists of parts such as the ever so sensitive clitoris, the labia majora and the labia minora (otherwise known as the inner and outer pussy lips).

I find myself correcting people all the time when I am asked to show my vagina to the camera saying, “well, technically, the vagina is the sheath-like tube that connects the vulva to the cervix and I have yet to experience a vaginal prolapsed so I cannot show my vagina to the camera, only my vulva.”

Personally, if I am not in a setting where I am required to speak in a non-vulgar manner, I just refer to the entire female genital area as the pussy; it just keeps my overly active brain focused and not so concerned on scientific specifics. Now that we all have the understanding of the difference between the vagina and the vulva, I hope you are all ready to hear the honest truth about what Leya Falcon’s pussy is all about.

My pussy, as every other one out there, loves to be fucked, eaten and pleased; she just loves sexual contact, and if that contact is hard (like she likes it) she will spew out pussy juice like there is no tomorrow. I actually have found it harder for me to make my pussy hold in her joy from being played with by a hot bitch or a hard cock than to just let go and let her do what she wants to do. My pussy is a bit different from average. I would say not only because of the way she spews out her joy across whomever or whatever she is being penetrated by, but also because her lips hang lower than the average pussy and her button (otherwise known as the clitoris) is rather large, leaving no mystery as to where it is or how turned on I really am. It will enlarge the more I get turned on. My pussy loves to be played with all over, but her favorite area to have hit is the little spot that makes her cum like crazy. That area on the front side of the vaginal walls (otherwise known as the g-spot) also seems to be very easy to hit, because I know where it is and how to position myself to get to it. Because of my pussy being a bit different than average, I am glad to report that she has had very few disappointing sexual experiences in her life.

Now as many of you know by now, I am a self-proclaimed man with a pussy, and I believe I may have more testosterone than estrogen floating around in my body. Maybe one day when I need to get my hormone levels checked, then I will find out if my theory is true. My assumption on my having more of the male sex hormone in my body stems from the realization that my mindset is far different than the average female. I think like a man (more often than not) and this includes chasing after pussy. Although my pussy enjoys the feeling of a big and fat cock very much, there is just something about another pussy that drives it completely insane — leading my mind to lose any ability to think clearly. This is how I know for a fact that pussy — especially my pussy — was not put on this Earth not simply to be the tunnel leading from the vulva to the uterus or for sexual pleasure. It was created to seize and control the entire human race.

My pussy controls me. Other pussy controls me. I will dare to say my pussy controls many of you as well, because I doubt you would be reading the metaphysics of my pussy if it were written by a human with a cock — or if it were written by another woman whose pussy you did not enjoy either watching, fucking, or chasing after. I realize that since I have become aware of the fact that I am a sexual being, I have been using my pussy as a means of control and of getting the things I want accomplished. If I don’t want to do something, I just complain of menstrual cramps. If there is something I want, I use my pussy as a bartering system. And in the case of my adult career, I have been using my pussy to obtain the attention I have always dreamed of…and the voice I never had. Though my pussy loves to be played with, and she loves the power of being able to control the thoughts and actions of others, the thing that keeps her alive and well in the porn industry is that she is constantly nourished with the attention she needs to stay alive and to keep her owner satisfied.

Today’s Guest Blogger: “Babs Johnson” on Takin’ It Up The Shit Pipe.

Jessi Volt interracial anal sex movies
From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

“Babs Johnson” is the nom de plume of an Ex-Porno Princess…and I’ll leave it at that. No need to know her old stage name, as it won’t add anything more to her entry. I do keep in touch with some of the girls I’ve shot in the past, and it’s always interesting to watch their lives progress post porno. It’s definitely a blog entry in of itself. I asked Babs to blog about being a post sex worker, but instead I got something stinky and shitty and super fun.

Whenever I ask a current Porno Princess why she doesn’t do anal, the automatic reply is, “cause it hurts!” or “that’s an exit-only hole!” But the truth is shit happens (literally), and girls are petrified of poo-poo, as is most everyone…except the folks who are super into anal. I’ll grill the Porno Princess who won’t do anal, and sure enough…after a couple of minutes, almost every single one admits they don’t do anal cause they’re afraid they’re gonna shit all over the hired Stunt Cock.

I’ll shut my mouth now.

By Babs Johnson

When pondering the in’s and out’s of anal sex, one wonder’s to himself, “How shitty will things get?” They can get real shitty, my friend. Real. Shitty.

Once upon about four years ago, I was self-employed as a sex worker. I performed in clubs under various, awesomely bad names such as “Felony”, “Domino”, “Margot Tenenbaum”, and the most notorious of all, “Mustang Sally”. It wasn’t long until I traveled West and found some fortune in the World of Pornography. Oh, it was quite glorious. A lovely income, parties, interesting people, and a steady diet of Nothing (with a cigarette chaser). I saw me as quite the svelte and silly young thing. Ah…good times. Now, on to the Shit-Chat.

As an actively employed young porn starlet, you are expected to perform anal sex pretty much from the get go. Unless you look like Heidi Klum, in which case you could have earned a comfortable living performing in girl/girl, sissy-shit porno.

When I was a performer, I prepared for an anal sex scene one day in advance. I would eat very little the day before and use an enema before bed, ate nothing the day of the shoot and did an enema before the shoot. I always used warm water, never the prepared fluid. I would take two Imodium AD the morning of the shoot. I did this routine at least twice a week for two years. Sound shitty? Yeah, it could be. However, it was nothing compared to having a complete anal meltdown in the middle of shooting an anal sex scene at work.

One of my very first anal sex scenes was for a big, well-established Beverly Hills publications company. The company seemed to be on top of things on their end, but the director had it out for me from the get-go. He told me I was too fat. He didn’t like my hair. He didn’t like me, and that was that. But, he was also a complete maniac to the ten crew members and two male performers on set. He screamed and yelled about our terrible acting all morning until it was time to shoot the anal. Remember that complete anal meltdown I told you about? Well, here it is.

It was a shit-tacular. A festival of shit. A shit-posium. A shit-phony.

The director had a shit-fit.

I had not yet developed the fail-proof “pre-anal sex plan” of Solid B-Level Porn Actor Me. It was really bad.

The shit-phony caused about a two-hour cleanup delay. I spent that time being screamed at by both my agent on the phone, and the maniac director. He kept screaming at me “VIE DON’T YOU JUST GO EAT ZEE SHIIT! YOU ARE SHIITING ALL OVER MY SET, FUCK YOU STUPID AMERICAN COW! GO CRY! I WANT TO SEE YOU CRY LITTLE PIGGY!”

I was pretty sure I’d be blamed if that breathing sack of excrement went missing, so I let his eruption of mouth diarrhea slide.

Are you loving the shit references? I sure am.

Anyhow, in case you were wondering…anal sex can get shitty (but it’s dirty and fun anyhow, so just put it in already!)

Love to you All,
Auntie Babs

Today’s Guest Blogger: Mae Meyers

Mae Meyers
From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

I met Mae Meyers just a few days ago, when she came over to my house and took a trip to the gloryhole. I also interviewed her. She laid some pretty serious allegations down, and since we all know there’s two sides to a story, I’m gonna let Mae elaborate on hers right now.

ok. i was doing my VERY FIRST scene with ATK. (i wont say the photographers name out of respect) but basically what happened is i was doing a BJ scene with the photographer. it went well… and then he asked me to have sex with him off camera… i mean i can handle that cause in this industry its gonna happen right?? its not the fact that he asked me. its when the person gets mad when i say no that really pisses me off. but the weird thing is he didnt seem mad. not at all but. but then the next day, i had a second shoot with ATK with the same photographer. i had a pretty good first day with them so i was pretty excited. well the next day i show up and the set is nothing like the day before. its just me the make up artist and the photographer. and we’re in this house where the guy who owns it is getting high and being rude during the scenes to where we have to keep stopping nd telling him to shut up. i was getting super aggravated. we get thru my solos and he tells me that were gonna do the B/G scene i was like okk… and then he informs me that its with him… if thats what im there to do of course im not gonna say no :))

so we get into the scene nd things r going good. but then he gets super rough with me. the make up artist is holding the camera and he starts not even paying attention to the camera. not worrying about where it is which is strange cuz the day before he on the B/G scene it was all about angles and positioning. and then were getting into the last part.. and i had told him im a tiny person. very tiny nd tight down there. he goes into doggy nd before even lubbing up or anything he just shoves it in and starts pounding me. i pull off and start balling my eyes out cuz it hurt so freaking bad. but of course me being the person i am i agree to finish the scene. cuz thats what i thought i was being paid to do. but no that wasnt the end of it. i had ANOTHER B/G scene that i was not informed of RIGHT after that one. because my lovely old unlicensed agent wasnt straight foward with me and didnt tell me exactly what i had to do that day. so thats basically what happened. anyone who has any questions or would like to confront me on something i would be more then glad to respond.

oo and to my old agent.. you know who you are.. i would stop running your mouth. its very immature and unprofessional. i have not ruined ur name in any shape or form in this industry and i would appreciate it if you would do the same. you are unlicensed and are in the process of loosing all ur girls cause there catching onto ur game.. im not threatening you because im not that type of person. but if you have an issue with me please work directly thro me and do not talk to everyone else who doesnt even know me. thank you very much.

have a nice day everyone :)) hope u enjoyed my blog :)) it was lots of fun and i look forward to talk to all of you :))

Kim from ATK replies:

I would like to clarify something since you continue to drag our name into this saga. You are confusing the sites that you were shooting for and therefore are getting many facts wrong in your write-up. I have spoken to the photographer concerned and he was in fact shooting you for another site when he was the male talent and not ATK. The first shoot that was for ATK for the Galleria used a male talent named Seth Dickens. Your second shoot for ATK was for ATK Petites was with BMB, a different photographer, and the male talent was Marco Banderas. The shoot you are refrring to where the photographer was the male talent was for a different site. So anything shot with you and the photographer as male talent was NOT for ATK but another site.

I am the owner of ATK and I was not present during any of your shoots. In fact I was in Singapore during that time. So obviously I am not the guy who was getting high and being rude to you etc. that you describe – that was obviously someone at a location tied to the shoot you did for another company. That was for a different site and the person was not me. So to drag the ATK name into this in the manner in which you have done is not appropriate. You should correct your story with the proper site and if you do not know which site that was maybe you could ask the photographer?

I have spoken to the photographer concerned as well as his assistant and both assure me that nothing inappropriate happened during your scenes for ATK. Obviously we pride ourselves in models having a positive experience during the shoots for our sites. As far as what happened during the shoot for this other site I am sorry you did not have a better experience. Have you communicated with the photographer concerned to try to get this matter cleared up and to express your feelings? It seems he and his assistant both have a different side to the story.



Today’s Guest Blogger: Bree Olson

Bree Olson
When I was in junior high, I had a Social Studies teacher who was a total hippy. He’d play records on one of those small turntables you’d get from the school’s A/V department, while we were working on whatever it was we were working on that day. One of his favorite records was “The Worst of Jefferson Airplane”, and I’d always wonder why anyone would name anything “The Worst of”…until now.

With all the Charlie Sheen hoopla right now, I thought I’d continue with some of my Bree Olson posts from a few years ago. I’ve had some “guest bloggers” in the past, and Bree was one of them.

I’ve got some more Bree blogs laying around, and since I’ve had absolutely nothing to say in a long time, I’ll just go ahead and post some “worst of’s” featuring Bree and the teeny tiny bit of time I spent with her.

This blog’s original air date: November 13, 2006.

From time to time I’m going to have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

Today I’m lucky enough to have Bree Olson – Porn Valley’s best-kept secret (but not for long) – and she’s going to blog about her boyfriend, who we’ll call “Romantic Hoosier”.
Dear Romantic Hoosier:

Billy has agreed that he is in the wrong for exaggerating previous blogs and he feels really bad about the stress it has put on our relationship. So, instead of him blogging on me, I have decided to take over and post my own blog…that what I know nothing has been edited or exaggerated.

Baby, I love you so much. I just want everyone to know that you haven’t given me a dime. I am still with you because I love you, not because of your money. You make me want to be a better person. You show me things no one else has ever shown me. When I’m with you, I feel on top of the world – like the luckiest girl ever. I love the way you treat me, and I want everyone to know what a kind, gentle soul you possess. And there’s no one’s arms I’d rather be wrapped in than yours.

I want you to know that when I’m out here in California, all I do is work and go straight back to the Model House. You consume my thoughts. You never have to worry about me getting with the male talent, because they would never compare to you, baby. Not only that, but when they are fucking me, I imagine it is you that I am pleasing, and that is why my scenes turn out so well. The passion felt in my scenes is due to my thoughts of worshiping your body. And when I look into the camera, I pretend it’s your eyes I’m looking in to.

Billy now sees how much I love you and that is why he has allowed me to write this blog…describing to you all my heartfelt thoughts. I have been desperately thinking of ways to fix the horrible allegations portrayed on I Shoot Porn. I want everyone to know I’m going to marry you, have your baby, and – GET THIS – sign a prenuptial agreement!!!

You’re the man will always be faithful to. Baby, I will love you forever!

Bree Olson.

Today’s Guest Blogger: Vicki Chase on Strap-on Sex.

Vicki Chase blow job videos
From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

I met Vicki Chase right before she jumped into the porno game; she was stunt-cock Eric John’s personal assistant. I ended up getting her first scene, too — over at The Dick Suckers. A few months later, Eric proposed to Vicki on my set.

“Um…no disrespect, Eric, but how about you take Vicki out to a cliff overlooking in Pacific in, say, Malibu…ask her to marry you there, and then drive down the hill and splurge on a super expensive meal or something?”

He didn’t budge, and he ended up proposing to her, on camera, on one of my cheezy porno sets…which, I suppose, holds some sort of romantic appeal.

Anyway, last night I had to stop by their joint last night to borrow a few things, and I asked Vicki to help me out with my blog, too. I haven’t had anything to say in a while, so why not let someone else talk? She thought about it a while, and then asked me, “but what can I blog?”

“Anything exciting happen to you lately on a porno set? My readers — the few who are left — love to hear stories about whacky shit that happens on porno sets.”

“I just banged a girl with a strap-on! It was my first time ever!”

“Perfect fodder for a porno blog, my dear!”

And so it came to be.

Hello there everyone!

It’s me, Vicki Chase 🙂 wanting to talk about my first time experience with a strap on! It happen just yesterday at Immortal Productions live cam “Big Titty Tuesdays”, where my hubby Eric John got to fuck Ms. Kerry Louise’s HH boobs. I got to join in on the fun because Ms. Louise rocks!!

So the show began as Eric started fucking those huge British tits, while I licked and sucked what she likes to call her cunt!………OMG! did she have a great looking cunt! It’s nice and big! with gorgeous color! She also had two piercings on it, and it was tasty too 😉 Eric popped his first two loads on those huge titts, and I licked my way from her tasty cunt to her huge tits, licking them nice and clean.

As he get takes a break from fucking her tits and starts fucking that big juicy cunt what do I see?? a strap on just sitting on top of the table. I pick it up and right away had a gleam in my eye. I’ve never try’d one on so i strap it on, and it took me couple tries before I was able to strap it on correctly to my naked body.

Once I had it on every one was all about it, except Karry she was a little sore from all the work she has been doing but then quickly agreed as long as I fuck her only for a bit. She was about to be my first, so I lubed up and said “bend over” and that she did! Looking at her from that point of view with my strap on cock in hand was a very empowering feeling, I mean it felt good!!

I start getting very into it with my little penetration rhythm I had going on, smacking that hot ass and everything, when the director rudely interrupted me with the whole “arm out of the way!” and “camera angles”, making me realize it’s not easy being male talent, but damn does it feel good to be inside a great juicy pussy!! On that note I leave you guys with the story of my fist time strap on, and happy that I carry one with me everyday!………….. my nice juicy pussy that is 😉

Today’s Guest Blogger — The Minion: Using Racially Offensive Jokes to Remind Us All About Jesus.

The Minion Free Porn Movies
From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

Today Stunt Cock bring his girlfriend to set. She’s not in the business. The Stunt Cock eats his girlfriend’s pussy before he shoots his scene with The Porn Princess I book. Then, Stunt Cock and Porn Princess shoot the scene, and as I’m rolling tape I hear some moaning over my shoulder. I turn around to see Girlfriend playing with her pussy…and cumming. And as she winds down with her orgasm, The Minion just happens to walk by set (he was editing today) and plops down next to her.

The Minion blurts, “Billy! Blog pic! Take this picture and I’ll write a guest blog for you!!”

And so it came to be.

A 3rd grade teacher addresses her class,” Okay children, I’m going to point to some of you and I want you to tell me what your daddy does for a living, spell it out, and tell me what he’d be doing if he was here.”

She points to Billy. Billy says, “My daddy’s a fireman. F-I-R-E-M-A-N. If he was here he’d be fighting fires!”

The teacher then points to Kathy. Kathy says,”My daddy’s a policeman. P-O-L-I-C-E-M-A-N. If he was here right now he’d be fighting crime.”

“Good job!” exclaims the teacher. She then points to Rodney, the black student. Rodney says,”My daddy’s an engineer. E-N-No, um E-R, no damn!”

The teacher says, “Rodney, we’ll come back to you for that one.”

She then points out to Johnny, the Italian kid. Johnny says,”My daddy’s a bookie. B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here he’d give you 20 to 1 odds that the nigger can’t spell Engineer:

Why did I, the Minion start things off with a joke? Well, times suck balls bigger than the ones at Notice the plug there. Rewind 2 years ago to 2007. Billy and I were tearing it up shooting 3-4 scenes a day! The average day looked like this:

9 am: Show up at the studio

9-10am: Get paperwork ready and set up lights for the first scene.

11am-7pm: Rock out some quality porn while trying to keep a level head..

Those days are gone since assholes have decided that tube sites are ok.. Some jerks out there have taken intellectual property and posted it online for FREE! So instead of eating at Sizzler every day I’m now gracing El Pollo Loco on Burbank and Whitsett with my sheer mass. I now understand the whole Metallica ordeal from 10 years ago since I (at times) shoot for manojob and the dicksuckers as well as edit for them (full time).

So the next time you’re thinking of watching porn for free please remember the morbidly obese editor sweating over his keyboard. All this is happening while watching the clock to make sure he doesn’t miss Shakey all-you-can-eat buffet that runs daily from 11am-2pm.

Seriously, only cocksuckers go to tube sites so don’t be one.

Remember, Jesus is watching.

Today’s Guest Blogger: The Minion — on being male talent.

Allison Wyte movies

From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

Everyone knows The Minion. I’ve interviewed him here, and he’s done some guest blogging in the past. And we’re about to clock two years as co-workers. Here’s the funny thing: I dunno what I’d do without him…yet, at the same time, he drives me crazy. Anyways, today The Minion talks about being male talent…as it pertains to him.

So you think you can fuck whores while getting verbally humilated on AND off camera? You have some grand illusion that you can come up with one-liners at the drop of a dime while an inebriated Korean director is yelling at you for who knows what? If you can then you might be the next in line for the Minion Throne. Looking at has brought back tons of memories for me. It’s kind of like a fucked up time machine had it been invented by Doc Brown equipped with a VX2000 and not a Delorean. I’m going to tell you schmucks how hard (no pun intended) it is to be male talent. It’s even that much harder when the guy you’re shooting for was a masochistic ex-con who thought he was invincible. However, it was still an interesting journey that saw me run through 125+ porn whores-past and present. Don’t get me wrong, I gobbled up Viagra like it was going out of style. I then moved onto Levitra which was almost as delicious as Abba-Zaba’s. I’d pop one in and hopefully it would get enough blood flow to my miniscule cock (thanks, DAD!) and we were off to the races! First, I had to gather a bunch of food for the whore to shove down my throat as she verbally cut me down to size. Then, after a monologue that displayed my wit, I’d have her suck my dork while a giggling gook would be shooting all this. “Slap him harder!”is what I’d often hear as Chico Wang would capture this train wreck on DV. It was then time for her to ride my 4 inches of raging cock! Now it’s hard enough for most guys to do this in a normal situation but factor in the abuse from all sides and you can see that wood was something I’d pray for as often as I prayed for the double Big-Mac to return. An interesting story I have from one of many encounters on set had to do with this Milf named Lexi. Chico’s friend brought her by Boogie Nights 4.0 and I was already visually underessing her. I was hoping she’d give me the chance to give her no pleasure whatsoever and moments later Chico told me I’d be banging her. I ran off to the local market for some food which included donuts and other shit which fucks up your arteries. I also grabbed the Magnum Condoms (which became a staple of 90% of the Minion Scenes) and I swallowed a bunch of viagra down the gullet. I was so into this geriatric whore that I popped in the first position which didn’t please Chico the CockSucker. He brought her back a few days later to continue where we left off and in the second position is where my cock vomited once again. It was strike 2 and we had to bring her back for a 3rd time so we could get the money shot where it had to go. She fucked me as if I was holding her social security check hostage and I plastered her soon-to-be cosmetically altered face with my ball batter. I saw her in a bar a few years later and we spoke of the scene for a minute before she excused herself to go to the ladies room. She never returned and judging by the free videos you’re getting now it’s hard to blame her. If you’re a chick and you want me to wine and dine you at Popeye’s Chicken then hit me up at DoronPepperscone at yahoo (dot) com.

Today’s Guest Blogger: Makenzie Wilson On All Things Porno & Political.

Makenzie Wilson

From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

Makenzie Wilson has been a guest blogger here more than once, but it’s been a long time. She always has interesting things to say, and she’s out of the porno game now. She’s outspoken and brash and liberal and she gives awesome massages and that’s why I like her so!

As I am writing this, McLAME is making his speech to what I presume mostly consists of the dumbest, most illogical people on the planet. Because, OH! If he isn’t voted in there will SURELY be another 9/11! And why YOU….should be scared! I swear, watching him and that whore Sarah Palin, makes me wanna puke (which is why I don’t own a television). As I was talking with another Dem friend, I said, “It’s too bad the American people have no logic. They vote with their emotions, not their heads.” And she says, “Yeah, ’cause Jesus don’t need no logic!” Fucktards. OK…off the political rant……

You’ve mentioned that some blog readers have asked about me. Specifically, about if there is going to be any more content on me, or just a general, “Where is she? What’s she up to?! She disappeared from porn!” I laughed as I read your most recent post on social networking sites. I occasionally receive messages on my mySpace page asking if so-and-so can be my friend because they know about me from porn. I hate to do it, but I block all such requests because I have come across disturbing posts on numerous forums/message boards made by fans. One even went so far as to report where I grocery shop, and what I wear when I do! Most of them violate copyright laws and post, and post, and REPOST all the shit they can find on me. This would not bother any other porn whore, but for me, it does. I seldom ever regret anything I’ve done in porn (with the exception of one scene), but I honestly would rather have some of it just go away. One of my wishes actually came true this year. The owner of my original porn name’s URL unlinked it from another porn name I had. He wanted to sell me the URL for $500, for which I promptly replied, “Go fuck yourself!”

I have ventured into a new career choice in life, and while it does not particularly matter in this field what I have done in the past, I am much, much happier with it. I make more money, and am required to do about 70% less. I travel with it and I can write off about 60% of my basic living expenses under my newly formed company’s name! It’s great! But I have to tell you, more than a few people have recognized me. These moments were almost surreal. When I get the whole, “Um, you look vaguely familiar….” or “Hey, are you _____?” I giggle inside and am tickled pink because I was SO low radar in porn, and people still recognize me! But I’m also reminded that it’s out there, it will be out there, and I can’t change that-probably NEVER. I woke up to a message on my phone from Ron Jeremy last week in Vegas, “Hey honey! It’s me Ron! Come to the Hard Rock and party with us….sorry I haven’t called in so long!” Now, who wakes up to a message like that?!” I love Ron, and I would really like to insert my foot in anyone’s piehole whom continually asks me, “How can you like him? He’s so gross!”

I guess this is really a blog to your readers and less to you (though you know my undying adoration for you!), to say that, well, there is a better chance than not that I will never appear in another porno again. There is an off-chance that I will do low-key magazine work, since I get really tickled pink by seeing myself in a major publication and have always truly loved really, really good photography. I miss the business a lot, and I have fleeting thoughts of trying to co-produce something with a favorite producer like Brandon Iron. But I know just how hard it is to make it big in the business now, and I’m not sure I’d be ready for those hurdles.

My last scene was published last month, Brandon’s Perverted Planet, volume two. Indeed, a very good scene. I was more my “self” than I am in any other porn, and it is clear how much more comfortable I am in that spotlight. Too bad it’s too late! I hope to catch you next week when I fly to Cali to start my road trip with momsies. I would really, really love to see you and maybe introduce you to one among the plethora of good vegan/vegetarian joints around there!! One last thing: DO NOT watch politics from now until after the election (unless the one we DON’T want gets in office….then NEVER watch). Since it drives both of us batty to watch or listen to hypocritical Republicunts, it will only raise your blood pressure-which vegetarian food is good for!

Your best bud,

P.S. Remember how we were discussing infidelity? ONE day later, a girl at work confessed to me that she cheated on her husband…not even THREE months after marriage! SICK!