Tuesday Cartoon Madness
Super fun e-mails.
Mark writes:
Billy Watson,
I want to do porn so bad and time is passing so fast. You see, I’ll be 40 this year and I have been a fan of porn for at least 20 years. All I would like to do is maybe a anal gang bang scene with a fine, big azz, white girl. Can you help me man? If so please shoot an email to me.
P.S. Although I will be 40 I really don’t look nor do I feel it. Houston, Tx
Thanks man!
Hi Mark!
Are you suffering from an incurable diesease? Somehow, that’s the sound of your e-mail. I mean, I know time passes very quickly. I mean one second it’s 1988 and knucklehead George Bush is President, and the next second it’s 2006, and knucklehead George Bush is President. But the tone in your e-mail is one of hey Billy I have cancer and the last thing I want to do before I kick the bucket is butt fuck a fat ass white girl with a whole bunch of other dudes.
Either way, I’m sorry, but I can’t help you. But here’s a picture of Porn Star Sophia and Spring Thomas; neither one of them has a “big azz”. They’re goofing off in the Gloryhole before Sophia stepped up to the plate.
Your pal, Billy.
In which I recollect on some Blacks On Blondes scenes…
I got my first real “break” shooting porn stars and people who are professionals in this business from The Producer. His big site at the time was Blacks On Blondes.
Still is.
With Dogfart running the show, The Producer rented a mansion. If you’ve read some of my past blogs, I speak of this place fondly as “Dogfart’s Secret Mansion.”
We made a helluva lot of porn there; some of it was good, some of it bad, and some of it was ugly. Here’s a little taste for ya.
Michelle Raven. Tony Everready and her had something going, but I was never really sure what exactly that was. I always liked Michelle. A total pro. Ask her to bang 5 brothers? Not a problem. Ask her to do something crazy? Not a problem. I think, somewhere on the internet, there exists a scene in which she snorts cum like it’s cocaine. Off a mirror. Up her nose. And nope, we didn’t shoot it.
I don’t remember this poor girl’s name. I do remember the scene well. She had to read some poetry. It was a poem on black dick. It was a funny poem, that I remember. I also remember when Byron Long pulled his dick out, she started to cry. I mean real tears. She wanted to stop before we really even started. She wasn’t used to big dick, and she was afraid it was going to hurt. So we all took a break. I honestly thought we were done for the day. But guess what? She tried it out off camera, and liked it. So we ended up shooting the scene. Nice, huh?
Hailey. A total amateur girl. Now you see her, now you don’t. She was from my hometown, and I met her there, and she needed work, so you know the story. I didn’t see her for months afterward…and then one day she called. Looking for more work. I directed her to one of the few reputable agencies in LA, and they saw this scene, and flew her out. When she walked off the plane she weighed like 100 pounds more than she did when we shot her. So they sent her home.
I must be getting old. I can’t remember anyone’s names anymore, I swear. I think this girl called herself Stacey. She was barely legal. Like just out of high school, and I think she came down from somewhere up north, and she was another one of these now-you-see-her-now-you-don’ts. She did a great scene, however, afterward, she had a problem pulling out all of the make-up sponges in her pussy. I know what you’re thinking…what the fuck?! Well, why let something like a period keep you from making your money? Clog the pussy with the pie-shaped make-up sponges you get a Walgreen’s, then earn your money. Makes sense, right? Anyway, S.S., one of the directors, “helped” her pull them all out later, in his room.
Porn Star Friday has a “F” tattooed above her pussy. F for Friday! She’s like 5 feet tall, and an ex-gymnast. Wow, what a hardbody. And she loved black guys. This scene went great. I think Friday played a real estate agent, showing a mansion to a bunch of black guys so they could rent it for a party. Do I need to tell you how the story ends?
Here’s one of my first – and only – acting roles for Blacks On Blondes. That’s right, I acted. No, I didn’t fuck. I acted. Serious. My poor “niece” had a problem. A problem with black guys. She loved them, and I was on a mission to stop it…so, just like when my dad caught me somking a cigar and made me smoke 5 in a row as punishment, I had my niece do a bunch a black guys, so she’d get sick of them, and never want do a black guy again. Um, I don’t think it worked.
I think I’ll end this blog entry with Aurora Snow, and one of her very first scenes. It might be one of her first interracial scenes. I can’t be sure, but I’d definately say, like, one of her first 5 IR scenes. She was 18. Totally new. Totally great. And I see she’s bookable again, but I don’t think she works with black guys anymore.
Wonder if I have a shot at a Manojob?
Is this really what you want?! I mean, Really? A top 10 list.
See, I told you I’m into the psychology of porn lately, so I wanted to show you this, from a popular fan-based chat board; it’s a thread called What do you want in today’s filthy porno vids? and here’s some of the fans’ replies, listed in no particular order:
1) “Personally, I know I want to see more slapping, beating, and just general roughness! We need to amp up the energy!”
2) “… we need to see less chicks with tatoos and fake tits.”
3) “… there should be lots of humiliation too. Piss in her mouth, make her choke on it and cry.”
4) “I’d surely love to see some more fetish get worked in,such as foot worship,smothering,and tickling,since it would be pretty fun to see the actresses attempt to hold themselves from maniacally giggling.”
5) “What do I like to see? More slapping, humiliation, general degradation. Love it! It’s a big thrill to see these women truly degraded on film, it’s all in the reality! Remember, the audience is very sensitive to just how hard guys slap the whores. These guys who hit softly should just do vanilla work, they can’t do rough porn. I remember from Slap Happy that you [Billy’s note: referring to my pal Brandon Irons’s line of DVD’s] have a talent for verbal humiliation, like to see you use that more.”
6) “I would like to see girls puke up by the throughtfucking. Why not Two girls drinking a lot of milk and then puke it al over each other? Then I would like to see girls handcopted on their back when they been throughtfucked. Finally, I want to see legs wide spread real gymnastic, holding them out by another girl ore by a gang.”
7) “I wanna see BLACK GIRLS TAKIN’ IT DEEP IN THE ASS!!! I wanna see porn’s most depraved-hardcore-merciless- asspounding studs make black chick’s assholes look like Sammy Davis Jr. with his eye out.”
8) “Several minutes of non-stop action where a group of guys take turns using there cocks to slap a starlets face as hard as she can take it. Not just a few half harded taps, but several hundred hard core wacks are administered during the scene until the starlets cheeks and forehead are a flushed rosy pink or even beet red.Spitting on her face and hair in between or during cock slaps is optional. Bukkake style facial follows.”
9) Asshole sucking: A circle jerk scene where our starlet is made to lick, tongue fuck and suck real hard on each guys asshole, one after the other until she’s told to stop.”
10) “The car wash treatment: Several guys dump hudge loads of cum all over the womens enire face. One guy or women then uses his or her hand to rub, spread and smear the cum into her face with such vigor that it resembles a simonize job.Nice and frothy. Then our starlet models the artwork for us viewers to enjoy.”
And since I’m having so much fun reading these, one more, just for your pleasure: “Face humping: Several guys take turns holding the women by her hair while humping her face with there cocks like a dog humps a persons leg.The guys use there cocks to smear the pre-cum, cum and spit all over her face.”
Man, there’s a lot of pent-up anger out there; I’m so glad I was born a dude. And, as a director/producer, I gotta tell ya, even if it means losing money, or changing my job, I ain’t shooting this…the closest I come is number nine.
All this silly stuff is just bad for business, and, even though I’m all about a person’s autonomy, um…nope. I ain’t buying it.
No sir.
Super fun e-mails.
Daniel R. writes:
You have shown us an incredible insight into your life.
Thank you for that. For the longest time, I’ve seen porn as an outlet for my girlfriend not being with me at the time. The girl’s a mere fantasy. A plaything, a cheap thrill of fantasy. Your editorials on your blog have changed that for me. I see them as people too, I don’t know if that makes what I watch better or what, but you have shown people valuable insight into a world that is widely seen, but so little is known about. Keep up the good work. In all your endeavours.
Hi Daniel!
My bad.
Please continue to use porn as an outlet for lack of pussy. That’s why it was invented tens of thousands of years ago. Do you know, the very oldest art object, found in a cave somewhere in a very old part of the world, was a sculpture of a naked cave lady? Do I need to tell you that particular caveman, sitting in his cave 120,000 years ago, did not have a cavelady to call his own? So he sculpted one out of rock, sat it on his cave ledge, and beat off to it…all the time wishing a cavelady was there with him.
In other words, please continue to treat a real woman like a real woman should be treated, and treat porno stars performing in porno movies like the filthy whores they are. And if you happen to walk into a locker room and see a barely-legal teen who happened to saunter into the men’s locker instead of the ladies’, and she doesn’t run out when you find her there, then pinch yourself. Cause it’s probably a dream…and if you don’t wake up, then pound the little slut stoopid.
Thanks for the kind words, too!
Your pal, Billy.
Today’s Guest Blogger: Mackenzie Wilson
From time to time I’m going to have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.
Third up: My pal, Mackenzie Wilson. For her second guest spot, Mackenzie blogs on the art of giving head and her first onscreen blowjob.
Lesson #1 in Porn: SPEAK UP!
My first BJ scene in porn was a blend of excitement, nervousness, and bashfulness. I was 19 before I gave my first bj EVER, and 20 when I entered the business. I bet you can do the math yourself, but suffice it to say I had little to NO experience giving head. I figured if I just did what they told me, I’d be fine. It was a simple ‘job’, right?I was still scared. I mean, this wasn’t just a boyfriend-blow job. This was gonna be seen by lots of people!
Well, turns out I needed guidance the whole time. It was a couple shooting me for their website, and let me tell you what assholes they were. SO picky about every little fucking thing. I’ve worked with them since, a couple of times, and they continued to be assholes to me.
Anyhoo, at first they had to get me talking in front of the camera, which wasn’t too hard. Then they instructed me on being more ‘aggressive’, which to this DAY I am a pro at.
“You can’t be scared of it. Just go to town.”
I improved a bit during the scene, but wifie had to take over a couple of times and so I knew I had some work to do on improving my technique. I didn’t outright ask her questions, like “Why do you vary your method of application?” or “Do you focus on the head or the shaft?”
I just watched. And watched, and watched, and after watching hundreds of BJ scenes, asking actresses/producers about it, listening to male friends complain or rave about how a girlfriend gave them a bj, and shooting probably close to 50 bj’s, I consider myself a damn good dick sucker now. I’ve had so many males tell me I’ve been ‘the best’, and whether or not that’s true for all of them, I doubt it. But I know deep down that I am WAY better than a girl my age with only average life experience from guys that can not come out and say bluntly, “No, you need to do it like this. And do this while you’re at it. Yeah, that’s good.Ok…” etc.
This leads me to talk about the first thing that I am so thankful to have gained by being involved in the porn industry: the ability to be VOCAL. You must be able to talk to your partner openly, bluntly, dirty, etc and be so comfortable with it. Not only does it make sex and foreplay better, there is no guessing games as to if you are hitting the right ‘spot’ or really ‘doing it’ for him/her. It’s really a no brainer. But what do most people do in their private lives? They stay silent, which is the dumbest thing you can do.
I’ve actually never seen that BJ anywhere on their website or on the ‘net. In fact, I think they trashed the scene ’cause I wasn’t doing it good enough and it probably turned out horrible. Hey, I got paid, and I hate those people, so what do I care?!
The Pyschology of Porn
I’ve been big lately on psychology and our upbringing, and the way it relates to porn, although I never really studied psych in school – besides the obligatory Psych 101. Anyway, I’m always looking for ties to why people do what they do. Cause we live in a crazy world. And it all comes back to what happened to us when we were young.
As it relates to porn? Well, I’ll get to that…but this goes not only for the talent in my business, but for what you and I look for when we look at porn as consumers.
See, I’m a big fan of facials, and lately, I think I know why. And before that, for a very short time and a very long time ago, I was a huge fan of lesbians…again, I think I know why.
I’ll start with the lesbian thing first: it’s 1977, and I’m in 7th grade, and about 3 blocks away from where I was living then, lay the desert. The wide open, rattlesnakes and scorpions, desert. Now it’s a strip mall, but then, you could find a horny toad, a scorpion, and a rattlesnake if you turned over the three closest rocks.
We also found a pile of stroke mags once, under a Palo Verde tree, and as secretly as possible, we hustled them back to our fort. What a haul! It was better than sunken treasure: tons of Oui, Playboy, Penthouse, and the very best of the lot – Hustler. What filth! And it was in that pile o’ gold I saw my first pics of girl-on-girl sex, and it made my head spin.
Our fort turned into a lending library for all the boys in the neighborhood.
I couldn’t think of anything else for the next, say, 2 years. On the way to school, it was all about girls licking each other’s boobies. I’d be in Mr. Boswell’s algebra class, thinking about girls making out. In PE class, girls licking each other’s vaginas. After school, I’d race to the fort and grab something off the circulation desk – usually a Hustler – and head home and beat my meat until I couldn’t anymore. Or, until it was time for dinner. Usually while listening to Boston’s first record, or Frampton Comes Alive.
Things all changed in 9th grade. I was 14. My pal Biff had an older brother, Todd. Todd was going to be a senior in high school. We all looked up to Todd, for various reasons, the biggest being his library of Swedish Erotica. Super 8 films. And the literature/pamphlets that went along with them. Add to that their dad’s super 8 projector, and after school Biff’s house was a stag party. Better than a Friday night at the local VFW Hall.
John Holmes was The King. Seka, The Queen. Then there was Sharon Mitchell. Ron Jeremy. Aunt Peg. And various actors and actresses you’d see once, and never see again. Kinda like now.
The super 8 shorts didn’t have much of a plot, lasted less than 10 minutes, and I think Todd had maybe four of them. Five tops. And while they were watching the movies, I’d have to “take a piss” and I’d grab one of the pamphlets, and it was there I saw, for the first time, a picture of a girl getting a facial.
My lord! What in the world? It made my head spin. Obviously more than the lesbians. And sometimes, I don’t think my head stopped spinning…until I started making dirty movies. (Feel “addicted” to porn? Just become a director, my friend. You’ll be instantly cured.)
It’s the reason why I had my hand in creating sites like Spunkmouth and Jizz On My Glasses. It’s the reason why I rented Peter North movies, when I rented porn. And even though interracial sex fiends love to see cream pie endings to their favorite films, I usually opt out for the facial when I’m in the director’s seat. It’s not about the humiliation factor, either, although I know that’s what pushes a lot buttons for most dudes; to me, it’s just about seeing something sexy that isn’t natural, I suppose. Just like lesbos.
Sometimes, I wonder what happened to poor Rob Black and Max Hardcore when they were growing up…
Tuesday Cartoon Madness
Super fun e-mails.
I’m new to your blog but it’s definitely the most candid blog I’ve read on porn. I like your NO bullshit style about the business and the fact that you shoot porn but you can critique it honestly is amazing. Porn isn’t at all glamour and glitz as it is trying to portray. I like the bit on Eon Mckai too. Have you seen his Myspace yet? He think’s he’s so hip and artistic. I agree with you 100% a lot of porn directors think they are artists or the next Spielberg when it’s simply all just smut. Gregory Dark is embarrassed of his porn past since he’s made it mainstream. The stuff you said about Jenna is true too. All her new stuff is crap. I read the bit you wrote on Austin O’Reilly and I wanted to ask you what did you mean when you said that if you spend too much time in porn you are doomed? Aren’t most of the girls happy they are getting paid a lot of money for doing what they love to do? Thanks, J.
Hi J!
Thanks for your kind words. I really appreciate them.
I have not seen Eon Mckai’s myspace; I have no interest in him or his space. I still stand by the stuff I said about him and Jenna Jameson, too.
It is all about the smut man, nothing else…I couldn’t agree with you more. No acting, no arty-farty stuff…just show me the action.
As far as being doomed, it’s exactly what I meant. Sure, these girls love getting paid. Who doesn’t? But for the most part, it ends there. And remember, J., this is, overall, a fairly nasty business, filled with fairly nasty people. In addition, society can be mighty tough, too. In fact, downright hateful. And it’s the haters who publically bash and privately consume the most porn, which is another one of life’s oxymorons.
I guess what I’m trying to say is a life in the adult entertainment business isn’t the best thing for a person sometimes…that’s it.
Especially if you’re female talent. For the most part, the female talent ended up in this business cause they were bashed as youngesters – both mentally and physcially – and then when they hit Porno Land, thinking they’re going to be the next Jenna, they get bashed again. Then, when they bail from Porno Land, the get bashed again…this time by the knuckleheads, simpletons, and dolts in their hometown.
Oh sure, there’s some who are cut out for such a thing, just like there’s people cut out to thrive in the penny stock business, or the car sales business, or the business of selling teeny-tiny ads in newspapers all over the coutry, generating tens of thousands in one’s spare time.
Hope this helps, J…and enjoy the pictures of Chelci Fox. She’s one of the 99% that entered the hardcore business, then quit almost immediately; however, she’s still doing softcore work. I was lucky enough to shoot her for a Spunkmouth movie for the week and a half she was still doing hardcore work. (Soon, she will have her own softcore site! Keep an eye out!!!)
Your pal, Billy
Eat Some Ass. Toss a Salad. Rim Jobs.
Speaking of starting new websites, Eat Some Ass just went live yesterday!
My partners in the Spunk Enterprise (J. and B.) and I met for long, long hours in our secret board room, and working from multiple ideas generated from marketing plans we paid top professors working at various Ivy League Graduate Schools to generate, Eat Some Ass was born.
In fact my partner B. went to a very prestigious art school and is quite a master. He’s been a part of group shows, had solo shows, and even made a living (for a while) making art. With all his artistic might he created what I think is the finest web graphic for a dirty site ever created. That’s right, a mighty big statement. There it is, to your left.
(Note the slobbery tounge and the quivering assholes.)
Remember, the niche thingy I talked about the day before yesterday? When I talked about the birth of Manojob? We didn’t want to take any chances with a new concept, so we brought in some professionals…and after paying tens of thousands of dollars consulting some of today’s top think tanks, we came to a conclusion: eating ass is a nasty, filthy thing. And pervy pervs surfing the internet drunk at 2 am after an unsuccessful evening of schmoozing potenital suitors over drinks at the local watering hole, angry angry men, home alone, beating their meat, love to watch girls do nasty, filthy things. Mainly cause they’re angry.
One group at a think tank told us they get pissed cause maybe that night the chick only put out a phone number, or maybe didn’t even put that out. They’re pissed cause their roomate’s getting laid, they’re pissed cause they got the chick home and she wouldn’t put out, and after multiple requests for her to do so, she put 1/2 her clothes back on and left. They’re pissed cause instead of fucking a girl they’re fucking a fist full of warm creamy lotion. And when dudes get angry they are more likely to grab a towel, wipe off their hands, and pull their credit card out in order to watch The Enemy do awful, gnarly things…and finish the task at hand.
And tossing a dude’s salad is pretty gnarly.
I’ve dated two girls who have indeed tossed mine. I’ll admit right now it’s kinda tickley and funny and naughty all at the same time. And I’ll admit the experience was heightened a bit knowing my gal was committing an act the church frowned upon.
An old friend of mine, GW, loved getting his salad tossed so much it was one of his prerequisites for dating a girl.
Is there something kinda gay about it? I mean it’s weird, cause getting into the cannonball position, or going doggystyle so your chick can lick your dumper is somewhat gay in a sense. I would never go doggy to have my salad tossed; however, I did get in the cannonball position.
But no way am I gay.
Anways, we’ve got a stellar lineup of talent for the site: we got Deja Dare to tickle a brown star with her tounge; we got now-you-see-her-now-you-don’t Tricia Davis to lick a bunger; my lovely friend Sophia ate some ass; Sophie Dee munched some butt; Sahara Knite frenched a sphinctor; Angela Stone chowed down on a keester, and she got so worked up she made her pussy squirt mulitple times; Lyla Lei dined on a rear end.
Um, get the picture?
If not, Cherry Poppens mouthed a shitter.
So now you do have it. Or, it is what it is.