Tuesday Cartoon Madness
Female Ejaculation…Urban Myth or Very Real?
We were putting together what would be the initial scenes for our newest site – Eat Some Ass – and we needed our female talent to be strong…that is to say, not squeemish about things like putting their tounges up a dude’s ass.
I was checking out Angela Stone on her agent’s site cause she had a good reputation for putting on a strong scene, and I liked her trashy blonde look. Her agent said she’s absolutely love to eat some man ass, so I booked her immediately.
I had no idea she had the ability to make her pussy squirt like a firehose.
I won’t even bother with the sordid details of her fucking and sucking; Angela Stone did so like a champ. I won’t even really bother with the ass eating details, either. I mean I could…she lapped the male talent’s bung hole like a thristy dog over a bowl of water.
It’s just that I had no idea she had the ability to make her pussy squirt like a firehose.
The first time it happened, I thought to myself whoa, did she just make her pussy squirt? I mean it was a squirt, but not a huge squirt…more like she might have leaked out a Number One in all the excitement.
I kept my mouth shut and let the camera rool as she sucked dick.
The second squirt was the firehosesque squirt, and it blasted all the way across the room: it went all over the bed, my camera, me, Angela, the male talent…
Firehoseque.
I think I just invented a word.
Angela’s third squirt was more like her first, and by that time she was so exasperated it was good the scene was coming to The Money Shot.
My ex claims she can squirt, and I’ll admit she a soaking wet pussy…but she didn’t squirt.
Angela Stone’s vagina squirts, and let me make this perfectly clear: it ain’t Number One. I know…I pulled the bedding off and hauled it to the dirty hamper, and on the way I snuck a whiff or two.
Nope to urine, pee-pee, and Number One. 100% pussy juice, my friend.
That bedding was soaked, and not a hint of anything that smelled like anything…which is my fancy way of saying the bedding didn’t smell.
I’ve seen this phenom more than once…but no more than 5 times. Once or twice it happened at Dogfart’s secret mansion while filming scenes for Blacks On Blondes…I think the Friday scene, in particular, caught her squirting. (But I’d never really had the chance to inspect the aftermath like I did after Angela’s performance.) I’ve seen it once or twice in my private life, too. My pal A. claimed to have the ability to make “any girl” squirt, and he did so once in front of me at The Producer’s house…she was a stripper and she even let me practice on her while A coached me on…but I didn’t make her squirt.
It’s all in the finger motion; it’s more like a the way your mom put her finger up when she was pissed and motioned for you to “come here” than it is like the way most of us dopes finger a chick – that penis-like pistion finger fucking action.
After A’s help and the stripper who was kind enough to let me practice on her, I’ve tried, and tried, and tried…and while I’ve made a few girls’ eyes roll up into the back of their heads, and I’ve made some of them make moaning sounds like cows in heat, I’ve never made any of them squirt.
But it’s really something to see.
Lain Oi
Lain Oi’s from Arizona.
I’m from Arizona.
Before Lain was Lain, she was something else, but I can’t remember what that stage name was. Her real name is a total hippie fest. I think her parents met at Woodstock, dropped lots of acid for the years that followed, and named her after one of the seasons, or a planet, or a spicy herb.
I’m kidding, of course…well, kinda.
So a long time ago I took Lain over to one of the gloryholes in Phoenix we used to shoot at. It was near the airport, and it was just as you’d imagine – a filthy place that no one really ever imagine themselves being…unless they were gay and cruising for sex, or part of a website that featured straight people doing something gay people made infamous.
When she walked into the place, I was worried she’d be appalled; instead, she found it funny. That’s one of the things I liked about Lain. We shot our scene, she did great, and I shipped the scene off to The Producer, and that’s the last anyone ever saw of it.
But this gets better.
After the gloryhole, Lain and I went back to my ghetto studio, where Boz The Animal was waiting, and he pounded her silly for Blacks On Blondes. I mean he laid some serious black pipe that day, and Lain, who (I think) was a bit intimidated by Boz (cause she was kinda acting all quiet and reserved around him at first) was screaming like a banchie by the end of the scene. She came so much all over Boz’s dick I think it was whiter than mine.
Boz’s dick, that is.
We shot our scene, she did great, and I shipped the scene off to The Producer, and that’s the last anyone ever saw of it.
That is, to say, both scenes were lost, and to this day have never been found, and that’s that – I guess.
So let’s fast forward now, about a year and a half later, when Lain’s now moved on from little Arizona to Big Los Angeles, and she’s working for a very large agency, and she’s working for some very large porno companies, and I decide, since those scenes were lost, and I really, really love Lain’s look, that I’d book her again for another Gloryhole.
I should have booked her for everything else I shoot, too…cause Lain’s got this beauty that I can’t quite put my finger on; add to that her personality, and damn, she’s fun to be around.
So we went again, this time to a gloryhole in Los Angeles, and she had a blast, and we did our thang, and that’s that.
And that’s the last time I ever saw her. She’s no longer on the very big agency’s website, and I don’t see her on any other agency’s site, so I’m thinking she’s all done with this crazy business, and that, for the most part, is a very good thing.
Super Fun e-mails (and more Riley Mason…cause really, who can get enough Riley?)
joel writes:
i just had to let you know your comments on indie rockers were too funny. I live in Seattle, in the heart of hipsterville. You’re totally right to poke fun at the whole scene.
However, the majority of guys that are hanging around online looking for an actresses’ AOL screen name probably never had much of a life to begin with – indie or not.
I found your blog while doing a search on Riley and I agree she’s hot as shit right now. But unless I’m in LA & run into her at a bar I’m okay with appreciating her thru your work. I get laid regularly, my best friend’s a stripper, I’m into punk rock & I’ll buy a girl a drink – some of us ARE well-adjusted.. and love beautiful sex-friendly girls like Riley..even if we do wear black framed glasses
thanks man, have a great day!
-joel
While I’m at it, why not include M’s recent correspondance, too:
the whole Riley Mason debate…would have left a comment directly on your blog, but couldn’t figure out to register. (What’s the deal there? Am I getting dumber or what?) Anyway, here it is:
Not really sure what kind of comments Riley Mason has been receiving from “Indie Rock Dudes” or whatever, but you’re probably spot on when you say that it’s because they like her. Riley Mason has a look that suggests that she would be well into the Indie/Punk scene or whatever. She kind of indulges some libidinous fantasy for these guys, and they get into her, but then suffer from some sort of schism when they get to thinking that she’s just a porno actress and it’s just a job for her, and that it’s onto the next shoot for her.
Either that, or they’ve got some issue with her supposed legitimacy, i.e. “Indie” credentials or whatever. But people who pull that sort of one upmanship are obviously just twats anyway, so no need to worry about that.
Besides, isn’t that whole Suicide Girls thing quasi-porn for quasi-indie rockers? Don’t really rate that one either, but shouldn’t these people be having a fit over that one instead?
Perhaps a Freudian analyst could figure out what these people are on about, but what would be the point?
Porn is what it is. The good, the bad, and the ugly of it. You either like it, or you don’t. (The same thing could be said about Indie Rock, or Jazz, or Romance Novels, or militant Veganism, or whatever.) But there’s no need to go about slagging one particular performer or person if that happens to be there thing. Just let it alone.
Anyway, if Riley Mason is happy and comfortable with what she’s doing, well, more power to her. She may be in the game for just a short while, or she might make a career out of it. Who knows? Everyone’s path is a bit different. My only advice to her would be to watch her step as it can sometimes be a dodgy business, and to stay away from all the nose candy. Enjoy the cash she’s making now, but also make sure she puts some of it aside for a rainy day. Be sensible, cause it doesn’t always last forever.
As for Dennis Moore (soon ever lupin in the land will be in his mighty hand?) Why not keep the toys in the pram next time?
– – – – –
Hope you’ll see fit to throw my two cents onto your blog.
cheers,
M from Japan
To Joel, and M, and anyone else who cares:
In the fall of 1980 – October, to be exact – my pal Pat Crane lent me two records: London Calling and Singles Going Steady. Both records would change the way I listened to – and thought about – music. It was about that time I ventured into my first used record store. Who’d a thought of such a thing? Selling used records? I guess the reason I bring this up is cause I’ve been around this whole “Indie” thing long before it was ever called Indie. Let’s see…it was punk rock for a bit, then new wave, then college radio, then grunge, then alternative rock…whatever. One of my best friends owns a very sucessful used record store where I call home.
I guess the reason I’m telling you this is cause I know indie dudes, I understand where they’re coming from, and I really respect their whole scene. Always have, always will.
I think this was one of the reasons I was immediately attracted to Riley Mason, and the reason I booked her when she first popped up into the porno scene. To me she had indie rock written all over her, and that’s before I knew what she listened to.
As a matter of fact, I still don’t know what she listens to.
Enter Hipinion. It’s just another posting board, this time dedicated to indie rockers everywhere. The guys who frequent this place are the ones going ga-ga over poor Riley. And in addition to picking up on Riley, they’ve picked up on my blog…and trashed me around a bit, along with Riley, and had their indie rock fun. In fact, I had to make registration a much tougher deal after a proposed “takeover” from a few of the nuttier ones from that board.
To this day, I still don’t know what I said to piss them off. Oh yea, I called them a “nutty bunch”, but shit, that’s what they’re all about. They certainly aren’t “normal”, nor would ever consider themselves to be…in fact, calling them a “normal bunch” should be way more offensive than what I said.
I’ve blabbered on long enough about these cats, and Joel in Seattle and M in Japan are 100% right, both with their views and in calling me 100% right, so there.
Porn is what it is. M.’s very right…and Riley is what she is, and I’m what I am…and you like it, or you don’t. The ones who get me worried are the ones who obsess over the things they don’t agree with.
They are the ones who, in the end, turn out to be bad.
Gone fishin’
I need it. I’m gone. Outta here.
I was gonna try and write a week’s worth of blogs, but –
a) they’d probably suck, cause they’d be forced, and I’d be pulling them out of my ass, trying to cover a week’s worth of stuff in a day
and
2) I need some time away from blogging, as well as all things porn: agents, producers, booking, editing, shooting, flaky porno girls.
That sort of stuff.
Oh sure, I could pick a bunch of random scenes and bladda-bladda-blah about them, but that’s no fun, is it? Which is not to say I ain’t done that before. (You can always count on a pornographer for double negatives).
In the meantime, feel free to poke around my archives – or go back to surfing TGPs and free porn. I’ll be back March 21 (or so), unless I decide to cash all my porno chips in and go buy a used bookstore somewhere. Or maybe buy a boat in Belize or Costa Rica and take people scuba diving, or go teach people how to write essays and research papers again.
Cause that’s the kind of mood I’m in right now.
The Pornographer’s Work Week.
My past work week. Feel free to compare it to yours. I’m sure you won’t see much that’s different.
Monday: Spend 6 hours in the car, travelling to my work location, and dealing with porno biz – mostly two shoots from my newest site, Eat Some Ass. I hired out the cameraman, but still…talent’s really late. So late I’m thinking it’s a no-show, so I’m dialing around to replace her, but she shows – over two hours late. Then unload equipment into studio. Kinda sucks, cause it’s only me, and the studio’s on the second floor, and there’s a fair amount of gear. I’m tried and kinda grumpy and just want to crash.
Tuesday: Two scenes today. Page Morgan, a fairly new starlet, will be featured in both. I think I told you I liked Page when I met her cause she’s really the typical white trash porn girl, and she has a tat on her arm that says “The Clash” and some of the lyrice from one of their songs. That’s worth a job, right? Actually, two jobs: Blacks On Blondes and the Erin Moore alter-ego site Ruth Blackwell. I had Page dress like a snowbunny, cause the black male talent called her just that – a snowbunny. And I had no idea what a snowbunny was…
“What’s a snowbunny dude?”
“That’s what the black girls called the white girls in middle school and in high school. Like, I’d ask my black girlfriend to do something sexy for me, and she’d say something like ‘go find a snowbunny to do that for you!'”
“So a snowbunny is a black girl’s term for a white slut?”
“Exactly bro.”
I shoot my scenes, grab some dinner (alone) and head back to the studio (alone) and crash, cause I’m tired and kinda grumpy.
Wednesday: Phoebe’s back, this time for the Erin Moore alter-ego site Ruth Blackwell; after we wrap, we jump in the van and head to my favorite seedy adult bookshop for a Gloryhole scene. I’m excited cause some filthy perv’s drilled an ARM HOLE in the wall, so now they can fondle as well as get sucked off…like getting sucked off wasn’t enough.
Phoebe stuck around and got some jizz on her glasses, too. Actually, it went everywhere, including her glasses.
As I wrap from that, Delilah Strong calls. She’s hurting, both physcially and metaphorically. She has no money, and some big-dicked MoFo drilled her in the cakes so hard recently, she broke her butthole. It hurt so much (and I won’t talk about it bleeding cause that’s kinda gross) that she finally went to the doctor…and doctor’s orders: no more sex of any kind until your bunghole is all healed up.
Delilah: “Do you have anything I can do that doesn’t require getting fucked?”
Of course I do, my love.
Delilah: “Can I come over and do it now?”
Of course you can, my love.
The result: a ManoJob and oh, guess what? She got some jizz on her glasses, too.
Then I rush off to the airport to pick up Spring Thomas. From there I rush to one of my very favorite restaurants in LA: House of Pies. MMMMMMmmmmm. House of Pies. I was a good boy, though, cause I’m trying to lose a couple pounds…so I went with the Cobb Salad. And a slice of strawberry pie.
Since it’s a fruit-based pie, it’s good for me, right?
Then I drive ST around town cause there’s some sort of fucked up convention in town, and all the hotels are booked. I finally find one. It’s midnight, I’m tired and kinda grumpy, so after ST checks into her room, I drive back to the studio and crash.
Thursday: ST’s in town. But somehow, I think you know this story already.
Afterwards, I was tired and grumpy, so I crashed.
Friday: Two more for Blacks on Blondes – Sandra Romaine in the morning, then Megan Jones for my afternoon scene. And I’m gonna be honest here when I tell you Chico Wang’s filthy mind has kinda of rubbed off on my own, so I’m starting to copy his multiple-pop thing in my scenes. That is to say, as my female talent fucks my male talent, out of nowhere I have 3 guys walk on the set and just blow a load in the girl’s face. No rhyme, no reason. I tell my load dumpers to just step up to the plate and unload whenever they please. Then, they are free to leave. Which isn’t exactly what Chico does, but it’s close enough to say I’m stealing his idea. Add a few cuckolds in the mix, and I’m thinking the members at Blacks on Blondes should stay happy…and no, Chico doesn’t use cuckolds, so I guess that makes me kinda original, right?
I’d like to say right now that Sandra Romain is one of the craziest, wildest chicks I’ve ever shot. Why not throw in that Megan Jones shows up with her period in tow, so we had to improvise on ways to clog that up…she went with something she called “inserts” but they didn’t work, so I showed her my make-up sponge trick. No more blood, and we’re golden.
Later, it’s dinner with Cherry Poppens, who lent me a hand throughout the day. Afterwards, we stopped at this newstand in West Hollywood and laughed at the gay magazines.
After saying bye to Cherry in the parking lot (peck on the cheek and a hug) I’m back up in the studio, to pack all my gear. And more editing. I mean it’s not a work day unless you clock at least 12 hours, right? Suddenly, I notice I’m tired and grumpy.
Saturday: Up at 7 to check on some FTP uploads and drag my gear down to my car. I’ll be home in 6 hours, unless I stop at the Bose outlet store near Palm Springs to blow some of the money I made this week.
Funny how blowing money makes me less grumpy.
Scene Carriers, Load Dumpers, and On-set Tension.
ST’s in town.
ST is Spring Thomas.
The town – Los Angeles.
Two scenes today: a b/g with Sledgehammer, and then, out of nowhere, as Sledge is poundin’ her, I had 3 load dumpers step up and make a mess on her face; second up, a cuckold scene that got a little nuts.
But I think some definitions are in order. See, in this crazy biz, there’s “scene carriers” and “load dumpers”. In the first scene, for example, Sledgehammer was the scene carrier. The three guys who follow – load dumpers – simply bust a nut. That’s really all that’s required of a load dumper. Dick size isn’t really important, nor is the ability to work any dialogue. Just bust a nut.
Imagine getting paid to just show up on set, step up to the plate (today’s plate being the beautiful and lovely Miss Spring Thomas) and busting a nut.
Now, I’m not saying today’s load dumpers couldn’t carry a scene. In fact, 2 of the 3 do get work carrying scenes. Anyway, Sledge did a great job, and the load dumpers did a great job, and more than that, ST did a great job…for a couple reasons. She’s getting really good carrying her end of the deal without direction. Her sense of timing during a scene is now second nature. In other words, she’s got the 2 minute rule down pat.
2 Minute Rule? Oh, am I a big believer in the 2 Minute Rule!
(In fact, I just invented that term as it applies to dirty movies. The 2 Minute Rule. If you ever want to use the term “2 Minute Rule” in anything you say or do, please Paypal me an appropriate royalty fee; I’ll let you decide what that may be.)
Anyway, 2 minutes is about the length of time something should be carried out in a dirty flick…unless it’s super interesting or something magical is happening. So, if ST is blowing a dude on her knees, in about 2 minutes I’ll ask her to jump on the couch and blow him there; however, today with Sledge I never once had to tell her when to move, cause at about 1:58, ST was moving Sledge to the next position.
Whew. That took too long to explain.
Anyway, the other thing ST did today that was great…when the load dumpers walked up and dumped on her, she didn’t flinch. Not for a second. She didn’t try to wipe anything off her face. She didn’t call for a time out. She just kept at it with Sledge as 3 loads were tossed directly into her face. Then, Sledge unloaded right onto her tummy.
Not bad, huh? Makes for some mighty fine whacking material, if you ask me.
Second scene got kinda nutty – no pun intended. I hired a cuckold to pound his dinky with his fist while ST pleasured herself using a large-dicked African American male. That’s really what this all boils down to: ST uses these dudes for their immense penises. Once she’s done, she tells them to haul ass.
Well, after today’s black dude hauled ass, ST had a big smile on her face. Who could blame her? Then, the cuckold stepped up to the plate to unload. We figured that
1) since he was a good cuckold and allowed ST to humiliate him using various techniques including talking to him like a baby and laughing in his face
and
2) since the cuckold gave ST some oral pleasure after each sexual position with the black guy that…
the poor cuckold deserved a reward. Hence, he got to nut in her face.
Now, before the nutting took place, Cuckold warned everyone he’s quite a shooter. So I tell ST, “hey, if he shoots like crazy, it’s ok to get down low and let a few blasts streak over your head.”
Sure enough, the Cuckold was a blaster.
So when cuckold starting blasting, ST did exactly that – she hunkered down; however, I took her ducking as cumdodging. Cuckold did the same, and grabbed ST and yanked her head back up as he contiuned to blast away…while I bit my lip over what I perceived to be a cum dodging issue.
Then, after cuckold unloaded about a gallon of man goo all over ST’s face, she started to wipe. She didn’t want The Burn to set into her eyes, and really, who could blame her?
Still, it’s a big No-No.
So I barked. Loudly. Then, there was an exchange between us. It was rather heated. She refused to speak at all after that. So, I rolled my film, snapped my pics, and wrapped. There was some more heated moments afterwards, too.
In the end, I apologized.
Stupid thing, really…to stress over something as meaningless as whether or not my female talent wipes some jizz off her face before I take stills. And to raise my voice at someone who means so much to me? Ugh…
In other words, in the future I’m going to quit being an asshole and worry more about the things that really matter in this life.
Super fun e-mails.
-sck- writes:
Hi Billy,
(oh, I forgot, may I call you Billy?)
a couple of weeks ago I stumbled upon your blog while looking for info about Riley Mason, I’ve been reading it almost daily since then, it’s very very interesting to learn what happens “behind the camera”, and how “the biz” works.
Since you seem quite an expert in porn related stuff, I wish you could give me your opinion about european porn, especially east-european. I’ve seen a flourishing of sites like MET-art ( sample here http://www.funbay.com/met-art/jade.html ) or femjoy ( sample here http://girlsberry.com/show.php?id=122 ), or Hegre-archives and so on (I’m sure you know more than I do) , featuring the most gorgeous girls I’ve ever seen on earth, those sites have no sex, no gangbangs, no jizz, just beautiful bodies, I know this is not your playfield as I’ve seen you have specialized in more “filthy” stuff ( btw, so your new job is to get your stick jerked by beautiful whores? oh man, how much I hate you! [kidding] ) but I’m sure you could answer this question as it’s more related to photography and such rather than pure porn : basically, what’s the secret behind getting paid to take pictures of beautiful nude models ?
ps: I’ve noticed you have quite a talent as a cartoonist as well, the doodles in your latest posts look awesome! ;D
Hi -sck-!
Dude. First off, of course you can call me Billy. This is a porno blog, bro! No formalities around here, ever.
It seems these days a lot of people seem to find my blog looking for stuff about Riley Mason. In fact, her name is the #1 search term for my blog when it comes to Google’s traffic. So here’s another pic of Riley! This still comes from her ManoJob scene. It’ll be up soon!!
I also have no idea on Eastern European porn. Funny, once I started making porn, I quit watching it. So I guess I’m really not that much of an expert on porn stuff. I do know that beauty is a universal language, and everyone has their own interpretations on it, and no matter how you define it, heets sell well.
As for secrets to becoming a paid cameraman, there are none, really. I don’t think knowledge of a camera is important. Shit, just look at my work. I think it’s way harder to find heets to do naughty things than it is to read a book on basic digital photography. It’s also hard to find a producer to back you. So, either find a producer who has money to pay you and the talent, or bankroll yourself. Once you shoot a whole bunch of naughty pics and movies, just find a marketing device for your inventory. There’s plenty out there: Club-XStream, Adult Legal, Ounique…like everything else you need to discover in life, just Google it!
Finally, thanks for the complements on the cartoons, but I don’t draw them.
Your pal, Billy.
And just for good measure, today I throw in another super fun e-mail from my pal The Slob.
Slob writes:
Hey Billy,
I’m curious. I’ve been seeing some odd finishing techniques on Spunkmouth. The male talent do this weird move where they grab their junk by reaching over their cock and coming backwards in a most uncomfortable looking way to get the final load blowing rubs in. It’s like a reverse head polish or something. What gives?
– Slob
Dearest Slob.
I know what you mean. It’s a weird and funky jack style. I think Robbie James does it. I’m not sure if these galleries show exactly what you’re talking about, but I know exactly what you mean. I think Robbie does it here, in this Spunkmouth movie, when he’s about to nut on Sarah Summers; and maybe in these blowjob movies, he does it too.
I’m not sure what to make of it. Have you tried it? Maybe he’s on to something? As far as I’m concerned, when I tug on my weiner, it’s a fast, piston-like motion through the fist, preferably with a touch good lubricant tossed in the mix…you know, just like that Ferrari you drive these days.
Hope this helps!
Your pal, Billy.
Interview with a Porn Star (#12) — Phoebe
IShootPorn: Remember two weeks ago Phoebe? I shot you for Blacks On Blondes, and a cuckold wore a Mexican wrestler’s mask and jacked his little dinky while you fucked Brian Pumper??
Phoebe: Hell ya I do. He had to jack off cause he can’t have none of this.
ISP: So, if I told you, like this time last year that you’d get paid big money to fuck a black dude while a small-dicked whiteboy in a wrestler’s mask watched, what would you have said?
P: You’re out of your mind. No way!
ISP: You’re smart…seriously. We’ve talked about this. You graduated high school with almost a 4.0. What in the world are you doing fucking on film?
P: Child photography. I know this sounds bad, and it’s not what you think. I was a photographer, taking pictures at the mall. Family pictures. And working 2 days a week wasn’t enough, so I used my talent for bigger and better things. No pun intended.
ISP: I’m confused. You took pics of people having sex?
P: No! My myspace account said I was a photographer, and someone in the porn industry e-mailed me about my profession, and wanted to know if I could make more money. I’m always interested in more money, and it turned out to be porn, and here I am, working in front of the camera instead of behing.
ISP: So let me see if I got this right. Some dude e-mailed you off your myspace, and asked if you’d fuck for money, and you went and meet him, and that’s that??
P: No. I was skeptical. I didn’t believe I’d make $500 having sex with a guy on film. So, I met him at a corporate restaurant, he bought me dinner, explained everything, and that he wasn’t lying, and I did it.
ISP: So let me see if I got this right. Some dude e-mailed you off your myspace, and asked if you’d fuck for money, and you went and meet him, and that’s that??
P: Yes!
ISP: What was it like?
P: He’s a cock whore. All he wanted was a blowjob. We’d fuck for 5 minutes and he’d want me to suck him again.
ISP: What’s a cock whore? Cause that sounds kinda gay to me.
P: He’s greedy with his dick. He loves bj’s.
ISP: Let’s talk about something completely different. Name your favorite film.
P: Sleeping Beauty.
ISP: Your favorite TV show?
P: Charmed. That’s where I got my name, Phoebe! Alyssa Milano’s character name.
ISP: Favorite song or band.
P: Hmmmm. Poetically Pathetic by Amber Pacific. It’s emo.
ISP: Hey! I just learned about Emo the other day. My friend Noah told me about it.
P: “So why should I take your hand when I can’t promise happy endings.”
ISP: That’s pretty emotional.
P: That’s pretty emo!
ISP: What’s the dumbest thing a director’s ever asked you to do?
P: Jeez! (laughs) – Crap. There’s a lot. Um. I had to eat ranch dressing off a guy’s dick.
ISP: Nice! Anything else you’d like to add before I take you into my little room and fuck you silly?
P: To any girl out there looking to get into porn…don’t be ashamed! Let what you do best come naturally, cause you will get paid for it!
ISP: That’s nice!
P: Change the “come” to “cum” please!
ISP: Um, ok…To any girl out there looking to get into porn…don’t be ashamed! Let what you do best cum naturally, cause you will get paid for it!
I’m gonna ramble a bit today, I think…
The desert between Phoenix and Los Angeles is vast and lifeless, and that gives me some time to think whenever I’m making the drive out to work.
I live in Phoenix; I make my money in Los Angeles.
I’ve gone back and forth on just making the move to LA – packing all my shit in a UHaul, and my dogs and cats – but damn, there’s so much to hate about this place. And it’s not just the traffic. It really comes down to there’s just too many people crammed into one spot…even though the spot is really big. Besides, moving depresses me enough to stay put.
I just got out of my car; it’s Monday night, and I dragged my stuff up to the studio. My pal V. helped me up. V’s a B movie actor, and he’s excited, cause he’s writing a movie about a werewolf that’s trapped in a women’s prison.
“So you’re shooting for both the horror and women’s prison fanatics?”
“Um, yea,” V. says, and he looks at me like I’m kinda dumb.
“Lotsa lesbo action I hope.”
“Of course. It takes place in a women’s prison.” And he looks at me like I’m really stupid.
I ask V. if he wants any porno phone numbers, and he does; four of them, to be exact, and we talk about which four he wants.
I suggest Spring Thomas and Julia Bond, just cause they kick a whole bunch of ass – including werewolf ass. He listens, thanks me, and he’s off. Which gets me to think a bit more about what it would be like if a werewolf were trapped in a women’s prison…and even though it’s really a silly idea, there’s something about it that will probably work.
I’m hunkering down for the night. I’ve got my iTunes locked to Indie PopRocks! on SOMA FM, which is all I ever listen to – that and Howard Stern on Sirius. The space heater makes my room comfy, and while I go over my schedule for tomorrow’s scenes, I’m thinking that right now, at this very moment in time, my life is pretty good.
I spent the 6 hour drive on the phone, mostly: I confirmed a bunch of my shoots this week, and spoke to some friends. Spring Thomas told me all about her day, and the classes she ditched, and the classes she went to; Makenzie Wilson chatted me up about her blog; my mom wanted to make sure I was OK; I stopped at the Bose store and got a carrying case for my SoundDock; I ate Japanese soup and a chocolate chip muffin; I thought a lot about nothing much.
Yo La Tengo sings Double Dare and there’s a hum in the studio that never goes away.
OK: so it’s Erin Moore on Tuesday. (This, of course, will be yesterday in real time, cause Tuesday’s my cartoon day, and by the time you actually read this it’ll be Wenesday!) Erin’s got a new name, and a new site, but who knows how long it’s gonna be before the site’s up. She’s working with a new girl named Page Morgan. I met Page at the Porno Hotel on Winetka in Chatsworth; I think at any one time there’s like 20 porno chicks from out of town staying there. I knew I’d like Page from the second we met cause she smiled a lot and she has a title from a Clash song tattooed on her arm.
Know Your Rights! These are your rights…
Page is gonna do a b/b/g from Blacks On Blondes tomorrow, too. “B/B/G” is pornospeak for what I used to call a “2 on 1” before I got in the biz.
Wenesday (today) it’s Phoebe, and she’s about as cute as they come. She’s going to work with Erin Moore, then we’re driving out to the Gloryhole. Should make for a fun day.
Thursday is Spring Thomas day! She’s got a cuckold in the morning; then, I think, she’ll do a b/g and I might hire some load dumpers to come drop one or two or three on her after she’s done fucking.
Friday is a new girl, for a new site, and it’s a secret, and The Producer is all excited about it, and I suppose I am, too.
Then it’s back to Phoenix. Next week I’m actually going to take a week off and go to London and check out England. I hear the Jack The Ripper walking tour is kinda cool. I know I’ll look at art, too. The Magna Carta. The Rosetta Stone.
Anything but porn.