Is this really what you want?! I mean, Really? A top 10 list.

See, I told you I’m into the psychology of porn lately, so I wanted to show you this, from a popular fan-based chat board; it’s a thread called What do you want in today’s filthy porno vids? and here’s some of the fans’ replies, listed in no particular order:

1) “Personally, I know I want to see more slapping, beating, and just general roughness! We need to amp up the energy!”

2) “… we need to see less chicks with tatoos and fake tits.”

3) “… there should be lots of humiliation too. Piss in her mouth, make her choke on it and cry.”

4) “I’d surely love to see some more fetish get worked in,such as foot worship,smothering,and tickling,since it would be pretty fun to see the actresses attempt to hold themselves from maniacally giggling.”

5) “What do I like to see? More slapping, humiliation, general degradation. Love it! It’s a big thrill to see these women truly degraded on film, it’s all in the reality! Remember, the audience is very sensitive to just how hard guys slap the whores. These guys who hit softly should just do vanilla work, they can’t do rough porn. I remember from Slap Happy that you [Billy’s note: referring to my pal Brandon Irons’s line of DVD’s] have a talent for verbal humiliation, like to see you use that more.”

6) “I would like to see girls puke up by the throughtfucking. Why not Two girls drinking a lot of milk and then puke it al over each other? Then I would like to see girls handcopted on their back when they been throughtfucked. Finally, I want to see legs wide spread real gymnastic, holding them out by another girl ore by a gang.”

7) “I wanna see BLACK GIRLS TAKIN’ IT DEEP IN THE ASS!!! I wanna see porn’s most depraved-hardcore-merciless- asspounding studs make black chick’s assholes look like Sammy Davis Jr. with his eye out.”

8) “Several minutes of non-stop action where a group of guys take turns using there cocks to slap a starlets face as hard as she can take it. Not just a few half harded taps, but several hundred hard core wacks are administered during the scene until the starlets cheeks and forehead are a flushed rosy pink or even beet red.Spitting on her face and hair in between or during cock slaps is optional. Bukkake style facial follows.”

9) Asshole sucking: A circle jerk scene where our starlet is made to lick, tongue fuck and suck real hard on each guys asshole, one after the other until she’s told to stop.”

10) “The car wash treatment: Several guys dump hudge loads of cum all over the womens enire face. One guy or women then uses his or her hand to rub, spread and smear the cum into her face with such vigor that it resembles a simonize job.Nice and frothy. Then our starlet models the artwork for us viewers to enjoy.”

And since I’m having so much fun reading these, one more, just for your pleasure: “Face humping: Several guys take turns holding the women by her hair while humping her face with there cocks like a dog humps a persons leg.The guys use there cocks to smear the pre-cum, cum and spit all over her face.”

Man, there’s a lot of pent-up anger out there; I’m so glad I was born a dude. And, as a director/producer, I gotta tell ya, even if it means losing money, or changing my job, I ain’t shooting this…the closest I come is number nine.

All this silly stuff is just bad for business, and, even though I’m all about a person’s autonomy, um…nope. I ain’t buying it.

No sir.

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