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Katrina Rosebud and her trip to the Glory hole

Katrina Rosebud

When I was in junior high, I had a Social Studies teacher who was a total hippy. He’d play records while we were working on whatever it was we were working on that day. One of his records was “The Worst of Jefferson Airplane”, and I’d always wonder why anyone would name anything “The Worst” of…until now.

This blog’s original air date: October 23rd, 2005.

I’m laying around Dogfart’s secret mansion one night, watching TV and just cold-stone chillin’, when out of the blue Katrina Rosebud plops herself right next to me on the couch. She says hello, introduces herself, begins rubbing the inside of my thigh almost immediately, and asks if I’d like a back rub.

I know, I know. I can’t believe it, either. But I make a quick decision to ride this wave as far as she’ll take me.

Next thing I know we’re really getting friendly. I’m getting my back rubbed, she’s telling me her life story, and I’m still laying there thinking this can’t be true. But it was. I mean the back rub was real, and the conversation was real…her hands all over my ass was real.

And when she asked me to jacuzzi, it was very fucking real.

Next thing I know I’m naked, and she’s naked, and we’ve cracked a couple beers, and we’re making out in the jacuzzi. It’s a clear night, the coastline from Malibu to LAX is lit up like a Christmas tree, and I’m thinking there’s really nothing better right now than my life. I mean this is what Porno Land is all about – one second I’m watching TV, and the next minute Katrina Rosebud and I are naked in the jacuzzi, and now I’m on the edge and she’s about ready to start sucking my dick.

That’s when her friend came up and whispered something in her ear.

Katrina tells me to wait a sec…that she’ll be right back. And I say sure thing honey bunny and close my eyes to take it all in. I haven’t even been in Porno Land a month and already I’m hanging out with Porn Stars, and I’m in a multi-million dollar estate with Dogfart and the Crew, and we’re making porn by day and partying by night, and well…like I said: it don’t get any better than this. Fuck..who knows? Maybe both of them are on their way out here to fuck me silly.

A little later and no Katrina Rosebud. No friend. No one. I jump out of the jacuzzi to find my new girlfriend, and I’m thinking she’s inside, getting me a beer or something, and I’m gonna run into her on her way out to me.

Um, nope.

There’s Katrina Rosebud, fully-clothed, talking to Byron Long. Or Wesley Pipes. Or one of the crew. I don’t remember who.

“Hey Katrina, what’s up? Coming back?”

She looks at me like I’m the Elephant Man. And she didn’t answer me, either. I have no idea what’s up, until I find out the next day this all had to do with that secret whisper from her pal…it went something like this: Katrina. That is not the Producer. It’s not the guy renting the mansion. He’s just a lowly second cameraman. He can’t get you any work. I tried motioning that to you while you were rubbing his back in front of the TV. Get the fuck out of the jacuzzi now, and I’ll introduce to the right guy.

So there you have it. Katrina did end up getting a scene, but nothing else. Here’s her free glory hole movie.

And my ride with Katrina Rosebud had ended. Until a few years later, when I was in my LA studio, figuring out my shooting schedule, when I looked up to see Katrina. She had gained weight, looked tired, and she was hurting for work.

I smiled and asked if she remembered me.

Of course she hadn’t.

I smiled again and said I’d call her if I had anything.

Free Smut Courtesy of The Dick

Anna Von Trapp

1) Here’s free Anna Von Trapp pictures. She was an amateur one-timer who needed some fast cash to get out of a jam. We were glad to help her out.

2) Here’s some free Eva Angelina blowjob movies. Great flicks, especially since they’re from her pre-fake boobie era.

3) Here’s some free Keesha Knight blowjob pictures. She was an amateur one-timer who needed some fast cash to get out of a jam. We were glad to help her out.

4) Here’s some free Jayma Reed blowjob movies. Jayma’s now calling herself Kymber Troy. Back when I shot these movies, she was my extra-special friend. Now, she’s just my very good friend. Trust me, there’s a big difference.

5) Here’s some free Carmen Kinsley blowjob pictures. Carmen’s a super-heet. That means she’s very hot. And since she doesn’t live in Porn Valley, there’s not a lot of smut out there featuring her.

6) Here’s some free blowjob movies featuring Kimmy. Kimmy is an amateur girl who can’t manage her money properly, so about every other month I’ll get a call from her asking for a job. This is one of the job I gave her.

7) Jayma Reed and Julia Bond free blowjob movies. Johnny Fender was the lucky guy. 2 Girls, 1 Guy…which is a lot different than 2 Girls, 1 Cup.

8) Here’s some free Jenni Lee blowjob movies. Jenni’s a mainstream model who’s crossed over to The Dark Side. Which is to say she makes dirty movies from time to time, depending on her financial status. This sums up 98% of all Porn Whores.

9) Here’s some free Kissy Kapri blowjob movies. After clicking on this photo set, you may be asking yourself why is she fucking on a BJ site? Well, that was a “friend” she brought to set, and he wanted to be in porno movies, and this was his audition. So they fucked in order to impress me. It worked.

10) Here’s some free Kinzy Jo blowjob movies. We call this a “blow bang” in the porno biz. It’s akin to a gang bang, but the only hole that gets plowed is the girl’s pie-hole. This often results in jizz bubbles emitting from said pie hole.

Kinzy Jo

Some Good Spunkmouth Galleries

Hailey Page

I’m in the editing bay today, working on a Spunkmouth update for this weekend, so I’m gonna keep this short. I just wanted to throw out some galleries of scenes I’ve shot, with a brief comment (or two…or three) with each. Nothing complex, just some sort of brief story that goes along with the scene. Oh, and check out our latest heet, Haley Page!

Here’s an amateur teen I shot a couple years ago. She was 19 at the time. A hairdresser who needed some fast cash. I forget where the dude came from. I do remember the load he blasted her with…giant. Poor girl didn’t know what hit her. But hey, she made her cash, so her car insurance didn’t lapse, or they didn’t repo her car, or her cell phone didn’t get shut off. You know the deal.

Bianca Pureheart. I didn’t shoot this! It’s one of the few on Spunkmouth I didn’t shoot! That day I cut a deal with my studio partner…he just bought some couches from a thrift store, and since he paid for them, I went and lugged them back to our place. Problem was, I had booked Bianca that day. So he shot the scene, and I moved the couches. Oh well…

Tabetha. Whoa. A total cutie, and another amateur I shot a while back. She’s been Amatuer Allure a whole bunch, too. If you like facials, this seriously might be your scene. This poor girl took one to the face, head, mouth…and one glop even flew over her head and landed on the back of her ass. Superb! I liked her so much, I shot her for Mano Job, too!

Madison Monroe. Shot before she found a boyfriend and quit the biz. Well, that might not be true. I think you can still book her, but you have to book her with her dude. Oh, and that snazzy green/gold couch used to be TT Boy’s, so you might recognize it.

Kelly Kline. The first (and only) time I ever shot her. She’s such a sweetie. I love Kelly!

Anyone remember Fionna Cheeks? I shot this scene in a seedy hotel room in Los Angeles, before I got into my studio deal. Afterwards, we went to Mel’s Diner and ate chiliburgers. That’s when she told me all about her time in the US Military.

Yesterday, while my car was being serviced, I had the dealership’s courtesy shuttle take me to IKEA. I love IKEA. It’s greed and consumerism and yummy swedish meatballs all rolled into one special experience. While I was eating my spinach salad, I peered across the cafeteria and guess who I saw?


We made extended eye contact, and then she looked away, and she wouldn’t look at me again. Damn! I wanted so bad to say hello, see what she’s been up to, and hire her again. It’s been 3 years since I’ve seen her. 3 years since I shot her. Damn, she still looks great. I even kinda followed her for a sec, to see if she’d make eye contact with me…then, I realized I was acting creepy, so I went about my business and let her go on her way.

I’m sure that’s the last time I’ll ever see her, too.

Nicole Parks

Here's Nicole!

For a day or two, I had a little thing for Nicole Parks. Little. And even though it was little, I have no idea why I had it. I really don’t.

I mean she’s cute, sure…but there’s hotter working the game. Way hotter.

And her silly tattoo is just that: silly.

So, what’s up? Why in the world would I have a thing for her, even if it was just a fleeting thing? (Which it was).

Well, personality goes a long way. We all know that. In fact, looking back on it now, that’s it.

The first time I shot her was in the hole. “The Hole” is my new slang for the Gloryhole.

I invented that slang: the hole. Don’t go taking credit for it, ok?

Anyway, I really don’t even remember much of the shoot. Here’s the Nicole Parks Gloryhole scene. It’ll give ya a little taste of how the shoot turned out. I think it went fine. In fact, looking at these movies again, it turned out better than fine. I think I dragged her pal Sally Rodeo out there, too.

Sally Rodeo. Now there’s a name only the hard-core porn aficionado would recognize.

After I shot her in the hole, it was on to Spunkmouth. A fun scene, cause she worked with my pal Spoonie and this cat named Christian. I think Christian has developed a bit of a following now.

I think.

Here’s the Nicole Parks Spunkmouth scene, and the cheezy porno scenario we came up with: Nicole was in the “que” to get in this hot night club, and if she sucked and fucked Spoonie and his bouncer pal Christian, then her and her girlfriends would bypass the line and waltz right in to the joint.

In reality, this is not a cheezy porno scenario; I know for a fact this sort of cheez has happened in nightclubs all over the place.

After Spunkmouth, it was on to JOMG. Gawd did my male talent drench her in jizz. It’s an almost super-human feat, surpassed only by Peter North and his mighty wad.

Everytime I booked Nicole, she showed up on time, in a great mood, and ready to work. We even struck up a friendship, as far as “friendships” go in this business. In fact, she even asked me about helping her start her own site. We talked about a business meeting or two, and, of course, nothing ever materialized.

Not long after we worked together on the JOMG shoot, I heard she quit the biz and went back to school.

And I never heard from her again.

Top 5 Spunkmouth scenes – #3: Tory Lane and Kevin Kline

Here's Tory!

Imagine you’re in a public park – maybe on a picnic – and you have to pee. And there’s a public toilet just down at the bottom of the hill. You tell your girlie you have to make a Number 1, and you head to the head.

And you walk in to find a heet taking a piss right in front of you. Get this – she doesn’t freak out. Oh sure, she’s nervous at first, then she smirks and asks, “Are you a man whore?”

Of course I am, my darling. Let’s just make this quick, cause my girl is at the top of the hill, breaking out the ham and cheese sandwiches, and if I’m not back soon, she may get a little curious.

Porn star Tory Lane is simply off the hook. I mean there’s almost no porno girls like her working the circuit right now. Don’t think she’s an actress, cause what you see in her fuck scenes is genuine; Tory simply loves sex. No wonder she quit Hooter’s, left Florida, and hit Porno Land. And do you think her recent marriage to Rick Shameless forced her out of the game? Well…for a short time she was only doing g/g and solo stuff…but that didn’t last long. I don’t know this for fact, but I can only imagine the “talk” she had with Rick.

I could imagine it went something like, “Um honey, I’m going to start fucking guys again. I mean I’m not making all that much money doing solo work and girls, and I kinda miss all that dick.”

Rick’s a cool cat, too. Maybe there was no “talk”. Who knows. Who cares, really.

I dunno if you’ve seen the Spunkmouth Tory Lane episode, but it’s one of the few times I’ve actually had my head spin while shooting the scene. Why? After our stranger blasts her face with man goo, she notices a large wad on the filthy floor. And without any direction from me, she got down on her hands and knees, crawled slowly over to the goopy mess, and sucked it right into her mouth…and then looked at me and spit it all right into my camera lens.

“Now turn the camera off!” she demanded.

What’s a guy to do? Except meekly say, “Um, Tory…you missed my lens. I mean that’s a really hot idea there….Um…well…um…can I ask you a big favor. I mean…um…really big? Can you do it again? And this time hit my lens?”

And how did Tory react? I was worried she’d get pissed and tell me to forget it. Once is enough. Certainly not be too happy about the deal. She did the whole thing…all over again. Crawled back, found some more spunk on the floor, sucked it up with a smile on her face. And this time – bullseye!

Since she’s doing guys again, I want to shoot her at least one more time – badly.

Is there any way she’ll do interracial?

Here's Tory!

Top 5 Spunkmouth scenes – #5: Kaya and Sean and Big Dick Nickel

Here's Kaya!

Everyone likes toplists, so I’ve decided, over the next few months, to make some toplists of the scenes I’ve shot for various sites. I’ll group each toplist by the site, and each day I’ll present an entry to the list, starting from the number 5 position and moving up. I’ll take into consideration the obvious (how hot the girl is, how hot the scene is, etc etc) as well as the not-so-obvious (girl’s attitude, her willingness to do various naughty things, etc etc). So let’s start.

#5: Spunkmouth Kaya – Kaya’s second Spunkmouth scene, starring Kaya, Sean, and Big Dick Nickel, was the very first b/b/g scene I ever shot. (“b/b/g” being “boy-boy-girl”, as opposed to a “2 on 1”, which was what I always called this sort of debauchery before I got into this biz.)

Big Dick Nickel was this local dude I met when I was running an ad for local amateur talent in a weekly rag that’s fairly popular in Phoenix. He started recruiting girls for me, not cause he wanted to help me out, but so he could fuck them while I rolled camera. Most of the girls this dude introduced me to were butt-ugly, but one stood out head and shoulders above almost anyone working the porn circuit today – and I mean the LA porno game…not the silly Phoenix porno game.

Kaya is a hint over 5 feet tall, and she weighed maybe 100 pounds…and trust me, 25 of those pounds were all tits. She’s cute and lovely and nice to talk with, and those sorts of qualities – even in a porno girl – score high in my book. She’s also part-Asian, which scores huge in a lot of dudes’ books, and her skin was soft and supple and perfectly tanned.

In other words – a total heet.

I had shot a scene with her and Sean already, and when I asked Kaya if she would like to work with Sean and Big Dick, she immediately agreed.

We shot the scene in an empty warehouse in Sunnyslope I had access to for a while. If you don’t know Phoenix, the suburb of Sunnyslope means nothing to you…and if you know Phoenix, then you know every crystal meth, MegaDeath worshippin’ dirthead, missin’ his front teeth and driving around town in a car with no air conditioning in 118 degree July heat, fondly calls home.

In other words, it’s a perfect place to shoot porn in Phoenix.

It was August, too, and there was no air in that place, but we had plenty of water, and I told Kaya and Sean and Dick that sweating a whole bunch during sex on film is really sexy…just cause I felt so bad for them. And boy, did they sweat. So did I, cause…well…it was a fucking sexy scene. Sean and Dick went to town on Kaya, and she loved every second of it.

Kaya went away after I shot this. I tried to call her for more work, but she was out of the game. Word had it that family members discovered her work, and she was forced to toss in the towel. What a shame…she coulda been a great one. I think I told you guys this, too…but a year or so ago, a pal of mine was eating at a corporate establishment, and who waited on him?

You guessed it.

Here's Kaya!

Back to Work…

Katie-Ray and Ruth

I returned to The Dark Side today around noon, on a flight out of Phoenix. I’m now referring to Los Angeles as The Dark Side, for a three reasons, just off the top of my head:

1) There’s so much smog in the air when my plane landed, it looked we were about to land in a bowl of diarrhea soup.

2) It’s the Porn Capital of the World.

3) It took me an hour to drive 3 blocks to the grocery store to buy some food.

Anyway, after the place touched down, I hurried to my studio to prep for the two scenes booked; one’s a site I can’t talk about yet, and the other is a Gloryhole. Besides dressing the set, I had to clean, which I usually don’t have to do…but Axel Braun shot here the last few days, and the place was a pig pen.

No need to digress any further.

Instead, take a look at Katie Ray and Ruth! They’re in the dressing room, getting ready for the first scene, – the site I can’t talk about. All I can say is I think the site’s gonna be huge, and as always, I’m trying to direct the dirty, nastiest scenes I possibly can. In fact, I will tell you today Katie Ray ate a pussy full of cum…does that qualify as nasty in your book?

Never heard of Katie Ray? Well, she’s a barely-legal, I think she’s a heet, and she loves black dudes. Ummm, she’s sweet and nice and loves sex. She smokes a whole lot, and she’s from the mid-west, and you’ll hear more about her soon, I’d imagine.

After Katie Ray cleaned up from scene #1, it was on to the secret Gloryhole! Sure enough, there were dudes all over the place, and it went down without a hitch. I guess you’ll just have to check her out on the site, once her scene goes up…should be about 5 weeks, give or take.

Lots happening this week during my stay at The Dark Side – Spring Thomas flies in Wednesday, and there’s her little sister’s new site, which is almost up, and the secret site I can’t talk about yet. And, of course, Gloryholes. I’m sure by Sunday I’ll want out, but I’m fresh and rested and ready to go. Who wouldn’t be, with all this pussy around me?

Oh…since the blog looks kinda skimpy today, here’s some free Spring Thomas movies. Since I talked about cuckolds yesterday, why not show you some more today! (And you thought I was kidding about cuckolds…yea, right). Anyway, this movie is interesting, cause it’s one of the few times a white guy has ever busted a nut on Spring…so enjoy, you fuckin’ pervs!

And here’s one last peek at Katie Ray and Ruth, before it all went down…

KatieRay and Ruth

Spunkmouth Mackenzie

Rainbow Brite

Mackenzie writes about her Halloween:

Hey! I’m Fucking Rainbow Brite! I had people yelling at me across the street that my costume was so good, and plenty of compliments the rest of the night. This is no doubt the best Halloween costume ever…How funny….I was actually going to suggest for IShootPorn putting some crazy ass story about me; either the 7 or 8 guy scene I did (when I unexpectedly got off MAD loud on the pool table) or one of the other ones we did (there are plenty!). Of course, you could always title it “You can be smart and retarded at the same time”. Haha. Of course, I’d be happy to be surprised with any story that came from you since I know it would be 100% true. You have my complete permission to post something about me with the pic (but please, be nice at least!). I suppose you probably have plenty from the stories I’ve told you, and the fact that I am the industry’s BIGGEST oddity in the business. Who else never masturbates before they’re on film and have sex only once before? Little naive me….. Porn was so good for me.


Makenzie is one of the industry’s biggest oddities, that’s for sure! She’s being serious about the “masturbates before they’re on film and have sex only once before” statement. Here’s another oddity: she’s actually using the sex business to her advantage and paying for a very pricey grad-school program…and she’s kicking ass and getting good grades!

Imagine that, all you Porn Haters…”porn was good to me”. And good grades from a porno girl? Imagine that.

Oh, and get this – the scene she’s referring to was on my site, Spunkmouth. We had to remove it for a re-edit. The scene was one of the highest rated in Spunk Mouth, so we pulled it down to polish it up a bit, add a full-length version, and increase the bitrate setting…so when it’s up, you’d swear you’re watching a DVD instead of a crummy little computer file.

The members have to wait to see cute little Makenzie suck off a whole bunch of guys. It was a super hot scene. Makenzie told me, during her initial interview, she would never have b/g sex on camera. That’s where it all ends for her…vaginal sex on camera. This kinda bummed me out, cause I wanted to shoot her bad…and all the scenes on Spunkmouth feature b/g sex. Well, all the scenes on Spunkmouth except Makenzie’s.

While thinking of an alternative to b/g sex, I don’t recall if Makenzie said “How about I suck off a bunch of dudes around a pool table!?” or if I came up with the sceanrio. But it went down. And she performed like a champ. Big dicks, small dicks, black ones and white ones, she went to town.

A few weeks later we dragged the poor girl out to a new house, still under construction, and she did a JOMG movie for us! How about that? In the middle of a new house, with workmen all around. And damn those pesky real estate agents!

So I dunno…maybe you can be smart and retarded at the same time…I guess it just depends on how you define “retarded”. For me it’s having an IQ at or below 80. For some, it’s doing something naughty in a dirty movie.

I’ll stick with the IQ thing. It makes more sense.

And Mak…you’re lucky I wasn’t around you on Halloween night, running around in that Rainbow Brite get up…I woulda been all over your shit.

Your pal,