BJ Swallows shot her first scene with the dude over at Amateur-Allure. He called her Eva, or Eve, or something boring like that.

I came up with the name BJ Swallows. A lot like Howard Stern’s character BJ Hunter, I know…but hey, it works. We first met at a Japanese place for lunch near the library on Central Avenue. She had contacted me from an ad I placed in the local weekly rag; the ad read “Porn Stars make more money in one day than most people make in a week.”

Which is true, by the way.

So BJ shows up in a little, beat-up Toyota, and she’s cute. Really cute. And she’s got some ethnicity going on, which is always a big plus in the Porno World. Dudes love seeing a latina girl, or an asian girl…I think it’s sexy, too.

BJ gets out, we meet and greet, and I buy her a Chicken Teriyaki Bowl. I have the same, plus some California Rolls, too. Lunch was very good. Since there were a lot of people in the tiny place, we really couldn’t talk much about porn. So we had nice, lunchtime conversation.

Afterwards, as I’m walking her back to her car, we got down to the nitty-gritty. I start by saying “the name of the site is Spunkmouth” and she interjects right away: “Oh! That’s not a problem…I’ll swallow cum, gurgle on cum, whatever. I love cum all over my face. Just have the guys blast away!”

I’m not kidding. That fast.

Usually girls kinda cringe when you tell them it’s going in their face. Oh sure, they know it’s porn, and most of the time the money shot is in the face, but that doesn’t mean they like it. In fact, most don’t, even though they might pretend. Especially amatuers. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat down with a first-timer and say something like “OK you’ll blow him, he’ll fuck you in a few positions, and then blow him again till he cums in your face” and they wince and kinda plead “does he have to cum in my face?” and that’s when I remind her what the name of the site is, and what porno niche we’re marketing to, and stuff like that.

See – use fancy words like “niche” and “maketing angle” and they’ll nod in agreement.

BJ wanted the jizz in her face. She specifically requested to get blasted in the face. She didn’t want it on her tits, her ass, or anywhere else – in my face, please. I think she says it like that on the video. And before her first video, she pulled me aside and asked if I’d “look at something.” I got worried- cause I didn’t bother to ask to see them nude back then (big mistake) – and she pulls me into a room and shows me some small stretch marks on her tits and tummy.

It’s easy to see she’s nervous, and like all porno girls she’s lacking in the self-esteem department, so I remind her how beautiful she looks and she smiles and is ready to go.

My kinda girl. We shot her twice, and a friend of mine was starting a POV site, so he hired her, too. (The site never came to be, so don’t ask me what it is). After my friend shot her, I never saw her again. She called me about a week later, desperate for money, but I had shot her out. She wanted to come do a private, but I declined. She sounded stoned, or drunk, or something, and suddenly I heard this dude’s voice in the background. That creeped me out. Besides, I’m not much for fucking these porno girls. It’s just not my style.

I never heard from her again.

I took this pic of Boo and Bella Donna in Dogfart’s backyard, a long time ago. Bella’s in the red pants; Boo’s in brown.

Boo is a natural beauty. She’s the kind of girl that makes you do all sorts of cliches: she takes your breath away; you fall in love with her on first sight; you wanna save her from porn; let’s get married and get the fuck outta LA and live in some rural place and die old together.

Those kinds of things.

We had just started shooting Spunkmouth scenes, and a Spunkmouth Boo scene would be my trophy. I had to make it happen.

My first instinct was to offer Boo more than I should. Like, instead of $900 for b/g, offer her like $1100. Be ready to go to $1200. I already knew Girl-Next-Door Boo was “thinking” about becoming porn star Boo D. Licious, but she wasn’t quite there – yet.

There was a better approach to Boo. I hadn’t been in the porno biz long, but I already figured that out. Porno girls love to be represented. To have an agent. When you’re represented by an agent, you’re SOMEbody. Agent=importance. Agent=clout. Agent=you’ve made it. Boo didn’t have an agent, but I’d approach Bella Donna instead…ask her to make the scene happen. I figured it would be my best chance. Better than offering her more money.

Well, I’d like to think I was right. I mean I got the scene. And it’s off the hook. To this day it may be the best scene on Spunkmouth…and the best scene I’ve ever shot. Dogfart shot stills; I directed and shot video; Brandon Iron and my pal S.S. were as obsessed with Boo, too. They gladly offered their services. In fact, Brandon cut his fee to work with Boo…and S.S.? Well, he did it for free!

By this time Bella Donna was a huge porn star, as was Brandon Iron. S.S. was making his name as a director, and doing scenes off and on. I was still shooting second camera for Dogfart and Spunkmouth wasn’t even a site yet.

And Boo? She went on to Porn Star Status, right? Wrong…I think I’ve seen her in two more b/g vids…some g/g stuff. And then poof! Just like that, she disappeared.

So it’s January ’05, and I’m in Vegas for the annual porno conventions – AVN and Internext – when I meet up with Taylor Kurtis. She’s brand new, and like most of the girls who first come into this biz, she’s got a smile on her face, she looks good, and she’s got no idea what she’s getting herself into.

It only took me about a second and a half to offer her a Spunkmouth scene. Her manager dude did all the talking. We set it up for that night.

I couldn’t afford any of the fancy hotels on the strip. Way outta my league. Instead I set up shop at the Budget Budget Suites (real name) on the very south end of the strip. Really, it’s not even the strip. It’s more like the last stop out of town, before you hit the desert all the way to LA. I had to pay extra for sheets, and when I got into the room it smelled like someone died in there. So I prop open the door to air it out, start putting the sheets on my bed, and I just about shit my pants when a pit bull wandered into my room.

Turns out the pit bull lived with my new next door neighbors. The dog was friendly; my neighbors were not.

That night I shot the scene. Taylor was obviously new. It was her first scene. Ever. And she did a great job. I was really surprised. I mean she didn’t work the camera like a vet, but that’s the beauty with first timers. We wrapped, I paid them, and they were off.

A few weeks later Frank Wank calls me. He’s interested in Taylor Kurtis, and what’s some info. I ask what kind of info, and he says she won’t shoot b/g scenes. She refuses. And he wants to know how Spunkmouth managed to pull it off. (By the way, to this day she only does solo and g/g).

“Vegas will make you do funny things,” I say.

He agreed.

Kitty. She made the porno rounds for a while a couple of years ago, and then she just kinda disappeared.

Typical.

Then, about a month or so ago, I got an e-mail from her. Last time I had seen her was at Sophia’s birthday party…and oh my God, what a party that was. It was the kind of party that deserves its own post.

I shot Kitty is a shitty hotel room in the Valley, and my partner took this pic of us at work. I’ll never forget that scene, cause when she got naked, it made me nervous. Seriously, she didn’t look of age, and if I hadn’t booked her through an agent, I think I woulda just sent her home. But like I said, she made the porno rounds, and I certainly wasn’t the first guy to shoot her. In fact, there’s a fairly popular clip of Kitty getting bench-pressed by a black midget porn star named “Lil’ Pimp”.

I wanna hire Lil Pimp.

Kitty gave me a helluva scene. We had her start in her street clothes, then get in a cute pink little number. We bring the dude in – and he was a total goof – but he just went to town. I kinda like hiring goofy guys instead of beefcake fags. Makes shit more real, you know? And this dude just pounded her, and then blasted her face with goo. Just good old fashioned porn, you know?

And for the most part, Kitty’s retired. She’ll do a scene every now and then, but she’s gone from the circuit, is married and starting a family, and she’s really happy.

I think I’ll hire her. And Lil Pimp. Just to see what happens on their next go around…

There was this cat named Antonio who lived in the ultimate bachelor-pad party house on the very top of a small mountain that overlooked the city. At night, the view was great. I met Antonio through some mutual friends, and when I walked into his place I had a pretty good idea he did more than sell toner cartridges for copy machines in order to pay his mortgage.

But he’s a really cool guy and loved to have people over to party…especially the strippers who worked at the joint on the bottom of the mountain. Sophia, for a time, was one of them. But she didn’t act like a stripper; in fact, when Antonio introduced us, I could sense she didn’t carry that invisible force field most strippers have turned on 24/7. In other words, she was really nice. Turns out her days as a stripper were over by then.

She was quickly becoming friends with Spring Thomas, too. Both Sohpia and Spring were hanging at Antonio’s, doing god-knows-what. And I think Sophia and Antonio were a “thing”, although I was never quite sure what that “thing” was.

I really wanted to shoot Sophia for Spunkmouth, but she wasn’t ready. The night we met we ended up driving all over town – Antonio and Me and Sophia and C – hitting strip joints, and drinking. The more I got to know her, the more down-to-Earth she seemed. We became fast friends. And I was right – she is genuine.

About a month later, I finally shot her first scene. Actually, I shot her first two scenes that day, and both of them turned out great. Beyond great. And we decided to use her nickname – “SoHo” – as her porn name, but she changed it to Sophia when she got to L.A.

You know you’re working with a pro when she takes on 4 dudes on her first porn set. Sophia is that good. A little later we teamed her up with Slim. Another amateur porn classic. (By the way…Slim, if you’re reading this, holler to your boy Billy! I wanna hire you some more!!)

That was almost three years ago. Since then, we’ve remained close. In fact, she’s not only one of my best friends in the biz, but she’s one of my best friends, period.

I have lots of stories to tell about Sophy…but first, I better ask permission. (Oh! And the pic I shot here is one we sent to her web designer for her site…and Sophy came up with a killer name/concept for her site – wait ’til you see it!)