Category Archives: stories from porno land (some amusing, some not)

stories from behind the camera

stories from porno land (some amusing, some not)

Blacks On Blondes Alexa Lynn

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Alexa Lynn

I had dinner with Alexa Lynn and my actor pal, who, for as long as I’m writing about him on a porno blog, will remain nameless.

OK, I’ll call my actor pal “Actor Pal.”

Actor Pal stopped by after my work day to hang out. Maybe get some dinner. I had wrapped a few hours earlier with Alexa Lynn for her Blacks On Blondes scene; we just walked in from a trip to the Gloryhole.

Both scenes turned out really good, by the way. Alexa Lynn was great. A real treat to work with.

Actor Pal likes Thai food, and so do I. Since the studio is in Korea Town, there’s some killer Thai food joints just a few feet away. Not just Thai food, but pretty much any Asian food joint represents pretty well in Korea Town. We tell Alexa it’s time for Thai, and she says she’s never had any.

“But I hate any Chinese food. I mean anything Chinese. Including egg rolls. Is it anything like Chinese food?”

Actor Pal shrugs his shoulders. “China’s a pretty big place,” he says.

So we try our best to explain Thai food. Alexa Lynn tells us she really likes pizza.

We end up at the Thai food joint, mainly cause Actor Pal has a crush on one of the waitresses there. Plus, we both like Thai food.

Actor Pal scouts the joint for Kuhn Kwang. It’s her night off, so we sit anywhere. We order some Thai BBQ chicken for the table to share, and some chicken skewers with peanut sauce, and lots of rice, because in addition to pizza, Alexa Lynn likes rice. She orders a Bud light, too.

“Why not try the Thai beer?” Ajax says.

Alexa doesn’t say anything. Then she says “I like Bud Light.”

Actor Pal asks the waiter if the Thai beer is light.

It is.

“Why not try the Thai beer?” Actor Pal says again. He’s smiling, and it’s forced.

“Um, I kinda like Bud Light.”

“But we’re at a Thai restaurant. I bet you’ll like the Thai beer.”

Alexa Lynn remains quiet. That’s when I interject. “I think we should let her order what she wants.”

Actor Pal says the Thai beer is good, so he orders it.

I think I need a makeover. I’ve been wearing the same clothes pretty much since 1998. I’ve got about 6 t-shirts I really like to wear, 3 or 4 pairs of shorts, and I’m all about Birkensock sandals. I don’t give a fuck if Jesus wore them, they’re comfortable.

I’m getting into this makeover thing cause it’s been about 6 months since I’ve had a girlfriend, and about 3 years since I’ve had a girlfriend that lives in the same city, and lately I’ve been feeling like maybe it’s time for a girlfriend; hence, it’s time for a makeover of sorts. That way, I’ll have some more confidence.

More confidence = girlfriend, right?

(Don’t get me wrong – I’m confident. But we all know every little bit helps.)

So I ask the table for an honest opinion. “I think I need a new look. Any ideas?”

They both look at me for a few seconds. Then Actor Pal says, “Do you want an honest opinion?”

Of course I do. Why would I open myself up to what I’m about to open myself up to if I wanted nothing but lies?

“Yes. Both of you. Please be honest.”

Actor Pal is all over it. “First get down to like 212 pounds. And lose that soul patch. Either go full beard or nothing at all. Why are you wearing shorts in January? Your sandals are ridiculous, and start exercising, bro. I mean, really.”

No one says anything for a second or two. Then Alexa Lynn says, “I like his soul patch.”

I’m taking all this in. Why 212 pounds? What kind of number is that? Why not 220? Something round. 225, maybe. And damn it…how many times do I have to say it: my sandals are really, really comfy. I’ve been thinking about losing the soul patch, and I know I need to drop 20 or so.

Drinks come, and Alexa Lynn doesn’t like the Thai beer. Hates it. I offer to drink it…along with my Diet Coke. And I order her a Bud Light.

So I agree to the sandals, the weight, and maybe the long pants.

Food comes. Alexa Lynn looks at the rice and gives it the stink eye. She immediately picks out the tomatoes, the cucumbers, the onions, and the parsely-like stuff the Thai food places use all the time (I pick that shit out, too).

I look at Actor Pal, and he looks at me. We both look at her, picking the rice apart.

The waiter sets down Alexa’s Bud Light, which cheers her up a bit. She slowly picks at a chicken skewer, and after we tell her like 10 times to try the peanut sauce, she does. She likes it, too. And after picking her rice clean, she likes it, too.

This is a girl that just took a pounding by two of the biggest black dicks on the porno biz. They made her vagina swell up like a water balloon. And she said things like “thank you sir” and “Yum!” when the black guys came all over her. After that, she sucked on an anonymous dick through a hole in a public restroom and swallowed all his jizz.

When I whacked it to porn – which I haven’t done since I started making porn – I always wondered about these crazy porno chicks, and what they were all about, and what makes them do what they do. And here’s Alexa Lynn, a nice girl from Texas, who doesn’t want to strip, and likes sex, and isn’t a 9 to 5’er, and likes porn, and here she is, picking the tomaotes out of her chicken friend rice and sipping on a Bud Light and telling us all about small town life.

And making fun of my sandals, too.

stories from porno land (some amusing, some not)

My Lazy Ways

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Kat

I’ve been slacking here, and that’s no good – cause I’ve got readers, damnit, and I owe ya something, right? I mean you’re coming back – I can see that in the traffic stats – and that’s not gonna last forever, especially at one silly post a week.

I mean I could just post some nudie pics and leave it at that, but it would be too easy. So I guess I’ll just go over my last 2 days shooting Spring Thomas content. You guys seem to like porno stories, especially when they’re true…and all the stories I tell here are true.

Wait! What that fuck am I thinking? I spent 2 days in Vegas last week, for the AVN’s and Internext Conventions! And of course I left my camera at home, and it’s got all my Vegas pics on it…so maybe I should just talk that up tonight.

It’s 9.12 pm, and I’m in Los Angeles, and I just dropped Spring off at the airport for her journey back home. And I’m rambling.

And that’s OK, right?

Vegas. Kat. Chico Wang. The Venetian. Sophia. My pals.

Kat’s wasted, and she’s 19 or 20, and Chico’s greasing the bar maid $100 so Kat can hang with us. There’s a cheezy Vegas cover band playing Journey (I think) and Kat’s all over the dance floor. Her short skirt is hiked up over her ass, and the people in the place have no idea what to think. No one really recognizes her as a porno girl, but there she is, acting like one, doing this stripper routine in front of The Toms, The Dicks, and The Harrys…with their wives sitting next to them, and they’re from Iowa, and Kansas, and places like that, and they’re digging every second of Kat’s dance.

Well, some of them are. The men certainly are. Some of the women are pissed, and they don’t like it one bit that their man actually likes Kat’s drunken girlie show.

Ain’t that the way it goes?

Kat.

Chico Wang. Paying another $100 for a bottle of beer so he doesn’t have to wait in line. Then, it’s 10 shots of Jager – one for everyone at our table. James Dean shows up. He’s got 2 more porno chicks in tow – and they’re both underage, too. So is James, for that matter.

Sophia decides it’s her job to care for Kat, who’s now obliterated. Kat’s on stage, falling into the drum kit, and security is called – although the security dude backs off when the entire place boos his attempt to remove Kat from the stage.

Sophia escorts her out as Chico pleads with Sophy that all is OK, and Kat’s OK, and please stay.

She doesn’t; Sophia drags Kat out of that place and to the escalator. In her old days, Sophia would have partied us all under the table. She’s wiser now, and that’s a good thing.

I want to book Kat for everything I shoot. I don’t care. I’m booking her.

Chico Wang. Now he’s chasing Riley Mason around the casino, and Riley’s having no part in Chico’s reindeer games. Some of Riley’s handlers seem agitated, so me and my bro get Chico’s back…just in case.

Then, out of nowhere, security’s called, and Chico’s being escorted out.

Enough of that! Let’s see. Saturday I shoot Haley Scott for Blacks On Blondes. I think I’ll jump in the car and drive her to the gloryhole, too. Why not?

Sunday there’s this newcomer named Cheyenne Hunter flying out from wherever to try out Porno Land. Should be interesting. Let’s see how she fares in the gloryhole. That should be really interesting. I think I’ll team up Max Black and Rico Strong with her and give it a whorl, too…if she makes it out of the gloryhole in one piece.

Did I mention Bruce Springsteen’s Sirius channel is blasting right now? He got his own channel, and I haven’t listened to The Boss since 8th grade, which, for me, was 1977. Maybe ’78. I think it was right when Darkness on The Edge of Town came out.

As we motored down the 5, Spring Thomas asked me to please turn to channel 50 – the “Jamz” station – and I obliged her…cause I knew the airport was only minutes away.

The Boss? 24 hours a day?! What’s up with that? And why the fuck am I listening?!

Here's the Skinny on Your Favorite Star, stories from porno land (some amusing, some not), Whatever Happened to Her?

Pornstar Elise – rapist?

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Elise

I shot Elise in late October last year for Blacks on Blondes. A sweet girl, really – for the amount of time I got to know her…which was about the 2 hours or so we worked together. I booked her with Jason Brown, and it was a pretty solid scene. I chose a typical cheezy porno storyline, but you know that’s the way I work.

For some reason it really turns people on – or infuriates them – when I have my black male talent make out with the white girls while they’re fucking. Which has its own term now: GFE. “Girl Friend Experience”.

This term doesn’t just apply to the interracial genre. GFE comes from any john who requests it from the whore he hired. I think the whores made up the term; after all, they’re usually smarter.

Anyway, I had Elise give Jason the GFE treatment – without a word of dialogue. I just start out shooting a hot and heavy make-out session that goes all the way. And then, after the scene was all done, she had to push Jason out the door cause her “real” boyfriend was coming over. Like I said, typical cheezy porno. But hey, it works. And the members love it.

The other day my pal Noah sends me this. He had no idea I had shot her, but since it was porno news making The Smoking Gun, he sent it.

Of course I’m going to blog this – but what angle am I going to take? I’ve decided against the whole “porn girls are dumber than a box of rocks” angle. Also a big fat no to “these girls are so fucked up that they stoop to this”…

Cause really, what did she do? Sure, the cops can write up a sensational storyline to vilify someone. That’s easy. They hit her with “California woman bedded 15-year-old, plied him with drugs”. Which might be true.

Don’t get me wrong, either. Elise fucked up. She needs to get punished, that’s true.

It’s also true 15 year olds have no problem scoring weed, E, and speed; they don’t have to go much further than the school cafeteria. Plying him with drugs in this case is a silly thing to say. In addition, what 15 year old dude wouldn’t bang any good looking older woman? Show me one that won’t and I’ll show you a future fag. When it’s an older woman banging a younger dude, what kind of emotional trauma is being levied on the 15 year old? And isn’t it that emotional distress that plays a large factor in how society bases its punishments?

Now our 15 year old is wearing a badge of honor among his peers. His pals are high-fiving him – and each other – over how he hauled ass across state lines, partying his ass off with a “porn star”. He’ll go to his grave telling his tale over a round at the local pub.

Meanwhile, poor Elise is in a lot of trouble. If she’s lucky, she might get off with probation and/or minimal jail time (and a very big lawyer’s bill). If she can’t afford a good attorney, she might end up in a shit can until 2016.

And won’t that make the world a safer place?

Elise

(Mug shots coutesy of the Kiowa County Sheriff’s Department).

random raves, stories from porno land (some amusing, some not)

Anal Pleasure and Health

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butt sex

My studio partner just handed me a copy of Anal Pleasure & Health, by Jack Morin, Ph.D.

Apparently, Dr. Jack is an anus expert. A whiz kid when it comes to bungholes. His book is the “first and only researched-based guide for the millions of men and women – of all sexual orientation – who want to include the anal area in their sensuality and eroticism.”

Count me out as one of those millions.

Oh sure, I’ve tried to get in to pounding my girlfriends’ asses. Trust me, I’ve had my share of colon invasions. When my last ex was in a really horny mood – and in the middle of her period – she’s jump right on and stick it in her butt. To me, it was no big deal.

Maybe if I was in the mindset of an Alpha Dog at the dogpark I frequent, it would be another deal. Cause let’s face it – getting off on banging a girl’s ass is all about control and domination.

End of story.

Well, it’s really naughty, too…and dirty. Literally dirty. I’ve had my dick looking like a fudgescicle after pulling out of a pooper, so I know. I guess I shoulda had his book next to my bed. I especially like the illustrations in Dr. Jack’s book: at the begininng of Chapter 9 (“Discovering the Rectum”) there’s a great one feturing a dude fisting himself; there’s positions for self-examintation; there’s a whole page dedicated to objects for rectal stimulation; it’s really pretty inclusive.

I’ve shot my share of anal scenes, too, and let me say this – it can get really messy. Or, put it this way: what you see on camera ain’t what’s happening on the set. Once, at Dogfart’s secret mansion, Wesley Pipes was pounding the shit out of some girl’s ass. In other words, interracial sodomy. When he pulled his dick out, a long, thick stream of diarrhea followed. I don’t recall where it went, or who cleaned it up.

I can guarantee it didn’t make the final cut on tape.

So here’s a few tips from me – when you’re cuddling around the TV with your significant other, and the porno’s running, and it’s all about ass, don’t think that if you attempt what you’re watching on camera the results are going to be the same.

And buy Dr. Jack’s book, so you don’t end up like Wesley Pipes.

Here's the Skinny on Your Favorite Star, random raves, stories from porno land (some amusing, some not)

Jasmine Tame, Supa Dupa Star

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Jasmine Tame

For some reason, I feel an overwhelming need to write about Jasmine Tame tonight. For a couple reasons, one of which is she’s a heet. A total heet. Another cause she’ll do just about anything a director asks. She’s also great to work with. And finally, what stamina! She’s so good, in fact, I’ve named a special award for her. But first, on to her story.

She shows up at my porno studio for an 11 am call time. And she’s on time. That’s always refreshing in Porno Land. First up is a b/b/g scene for Blacks On Blondes. She shows up with her dude, who’s supposed to hang out in my green room and watch TV while Jasmine worked. So why not put The Dude to work?

I ask The Dude, “hey, you wanna watch Jasmine get pounded by two brothers? You just sit around and play with your winky while she takes two big black dicks…you down?

To my surprise, he agrees…and so does she. (Well, it helped that I paid him).

If you’re wondering does this sort of thing have a name? it sure does. Jasmine’s dude has now entered the wonderful world of a “cuckold”…something you may, or may not have heard about. The first time I encountered a cuckhold wasn’t in a porn studio…but in my Chaucer class in college. One of his Canterbury Tales (The Miller’s Tale, if I remember correctly) features a man who has an unfaithful wife…and he’s content with it. Hence, he’s a cuckold.

So Jasmine’s cuckold puts on a mask just so no one back home recognizes him, and we’re off for Scene #1. I wish I had a gallery to show you, but I don’t…so, to make everyone happy, here’s some free cuckold movies I shot with another cucky couple, Aiden and her man…whose name I forget.

Scene #2: Gloryhole Jasmine Tame. Well, we pack into the van and head out to a sleazy public restroom in a secret place near downtown Los Angeles for Jasmine’s second job. On the way there, we talk about where she’s from, and how she likes LA, and bladda-bladda-blah. We get into the bathroom, and sure enough, a dude’s there, and we roll…and 15 minutes later, we’re running out, jumping in the van, and heading back to the studio…just in time to meet her man for the next job.

Scene #3: Spunkmouth Jasmine Tame. I hired Billy Banks to pound Jasmine next. And what a pounding it was! Jasmine’s one of the girls in the biz who loves sex; hence, she’ll be around for a while. I don’t think Billy’s busted a nut in quite sometime, cause when he unloaded, boy, did he unload! We wrap, she runs back to the dressing room, gets cleaned up, cause her talent just arrived for the next shoot.

Scene #4: JOMG Jasmine Tame. Me and my pals were sitting around one night, thinking up something naughty for you, our beloved porn surfers, when B. suddenly blurted out “I have it! JOMG!!” J. looked at me, and I looked at J., and then J. took a long swing off his India Pale Ale and said “what the fuck are you talking about?”

“Jizz On My Glasses.”

B. said it slow and steady. He was very serious. It was obvious then he hit paydirt, so JOMG it was. And Jasmine’s glasses, after it was all said and done, certainly weren’t fit to see through anymore. On to The Next.

Scene #5: Mano Job Jasmine Tame. Here’s her first easy scene for the day. No big deal…just a quick handie for my new site, Mano Job…get it? Mano? My little bro came up with the name. He cracks me up sometimes. Since there’s no stills, we done in just under 15 minutes.

Scene #6: Top-Secret-Newest-Website Jasmine Tame. Our latest creation that will make most peoples’ heads spin. It’s such a naughty, dirty site I’m almost embarassed to mention it to anyone…even the dirtiest minds who read ISP. And since it’s not online yet, the only place you can see it is in the member’s area of Spunkmouth. Or JOMG.

Do I need to tell you Jasmine’s performance was unreal? That after 5 scenes she pulled off her 6th without a problem? Tired as she was, she performed, and there’s not a lot of talent out there that can pull off 6 scenes in a day. Even with help, I had a hard time shooting and directing…and that’s nothing compared to performing. And the dirtiest, naughtiest scene of the day! Way naughtier (in my opinion) than the Blacks On Blondes cuckold thingy.

That’s why, as of right now, I, William J. Watson III, hereby nominate Jasmine Tame, as ISP’s first Supa Dupa Star. I have no idea what that means, exactly…it won’t get her anything…and, in fact, she probably doesn’t care one bit about being my first Supa Dupa Star. It did get her a $2500 payday, so that’s kinda cool.

So here’s to you, Jasmine Tame. ISP’s very first Supa Dupa Star.

Jasmine, my love, do with it what you will.

Jasmine Tame

stories from porno land (some amusing, some not), Whatever Happened to Her?

In Search of a Glory Hole

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The hole...

Word was out that there was a glory hole located at a secret location in Oxnard California. The minute Dogfart and I caught wind of this, we packed our gear in the car and headed north on the Pacific Coast Highway with Fionna Cheeks.

That’s the sunset over the Pacific Ocean. Some coastal rock formations lay ahead. Dogfart’s behind the wheel, Fionna’s shotgun, and I’m in the back, getting blown away by the view. It doesn’t get much better than this.

We found the Glory Hole all right, and sure enough, Fionna jumped in. That’s right. We were rolling a Fionna Cheeks Gloryhole scene!

But it didn’t stop there. Turns out that particular Glory Hole was a huge payoff, cause most of the time they’re shut down after like 2 days. This one paid off for about 5 or 6 weeks! We shot in there, pretty much undisturbed, that entire fall. Then news broke on it, and the next thing you know, no more Glory Hole. Not there, anyway. Time to find another…

So here’s how it would go down. We’d scout the outside of the place, make sure there was no heat, and then grab the girl and our cameras. Dogfart ran the still camera; I shot video. And it would get kinda tricky cause we would have to work together in order to get the scene and haul ass within 15 minutes or so. Which is completely different than shooting a “normal” scene; if we were on a porn set, DF would shoot stills, we’d break, and then I’d roll video. Then, after the money shot, DF would snap a few more pics and we’d call it a day. You know…a casual porno shoot.

Not with a Glory Hole scene.

We were nervous we were gonna get busted at anytime. It was like the old days Bill Margold recalls, when shooting porn was illegal, and at any time the police could roll up on a porn set and haul everyone to jail…like John C. Holmes and those cats. 1974 and shit.

Anyways, I’d roll video while DF shot stills. I’d have to make sure he was out of my way; he’d make sure I was out of his. And we’d have to vary up the angles and shots. All while working in a tiny stall…the 3 of us: the porn star, DF, and me.

We made it happen though, time and time again. Never once been busted…yet.

Here’s one more Gloryhole scene we shot with Saphire. I always liked Saphire. We shot her a few times. The first time I met Saphire she was on set reading a book by William S. Burroughs called Naked Lunch. That meant, as far as I’m concerned, she was already A-OK.

Saphire played the porno game for a while, then I think she disappeared back to wherever it is she’s from.

Fionna Cheeks went total Porn Star. She really made the rounds. I even got to shoot her again, a year or so later, for Spunkmouth. Then, about a year or so ago, she disappeared too. Last time I heard she got married and might be starting a family. That is to say she’s now leading a “normal” life.

I bet she’s bored already.

stories from porno land (some amusing, some not)

Spunkmouth Brandi Lyons

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Spunkmouth Brandi Lyons

But before I tell you all about S.S. and Dogfart and the secret mansion, I think I’ll tell you about Brandi Lyons. Cause this is a fun story, and it’s Monday, and Mondays are all about fun, right?

Spunkmouth Brandi Lyons. A classic scene, for a number of reasons…most of which are behind the camera, and you’d never hear about…unless you’re an ISP reader.

The Spunk budget was getting low, and I really wanted to shoot another scene. Problem was the budget was so low, I couldn’t afford a scene AND studio time; in fact, shooting a scene and even getting a hotel room was looking kinda dim. I was booking Brandi Lyons, cause she puts on a great scene, and whoever gave me her number said she was awesome to shoot. So I tell Brandi my situation, and she says “Why not come over to my apartment?!”

There ya go. Problem solved. But this is where shit got kinda weird.

We all show up – myself and the male talent – and are greeting by Brandi’s husband. It was awkward, yep. But guess who Brandi’s bigget fan is? Yep…all her DVD’s and videotapes are on his bookshelf, and I guess if you’re truly in love with someone, it really doesn’t matter what they do for a living, right? Well…except maybe murder and mayhem.

Half way through the shoot Brandi asks if I’d like some A. This means would I like it if she got slammed in the butt. A is for anal. I kind of nod and say “sure Brandi, but I really am pushing it with my budget. I mean I simply can’t afford to pay you more.”

“Um, ok,” she replied. “How about we make a deal?”

This makes me nervous. But I’m all ears.

And we come to a deal. Pay her now for the scene before it ends, and she’ll give me the A for free. Why pay her now? Well, it’s Saturday, and the bank’s about to close, and they really need to cover some outstanding checks. It’s a place I’ve been at many times, and even though I didn’t feel that great about paying someone before the job was done, I agree. Besides, I’m getting the A.

Boy, did I get A. Lots of A. So much A I can’t even recall the last time I had so much A. A for All Over the Place. A for “Grade A” A, as in gApe. I guess you’d have to look at all the pics in this gallery – or join the site – to see what I mean.

How about that? Cooperation on the porno front. I help Brandi and her hubby cover some bills in time, and in return I get a Whole Lotta A.

Only in Porno Land.

random raves, stories from porno land (some amusing, some not)

Blacks On Blondes

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Judy Star

I think this week I’ll write a whole lot about the time I spent working for Blacks on Blondes at Dogfart’s secret mansion.

So let’s start with The Band:

Billy Watson (that’s me!) -rhythm guitar for the Blacks on Blondes shoots, lead gutiar for Glory Hole.

S.S. – backing vocals, lead guitar for Blacks On Blondes.

Justin Timberlake Feels Your Pain – percussion for Blacks On Blondes.

Dogfart – lead vocals and rhythm guitar for Blacks on Blondes and Glory Hole.

I joined the band late. Our scehdule went something like this: we’d start shooing at 11 am and wrap around 2 or 3 – depending on how late the talent showed. 4pm was the second shoot of the day, and we’d wrap for dinner. After dinner, we might knock out a GloryHole or three. Sometimes our day didn’t end till 11 at night.

We had a lock on just about all the Black male talent in Porno Land, and over the 6 months or so this all went down, we shot just about any girl who would do a brother.

Check out Judy Star. Our tune went like this: Judy is hitchhiking, and she’s desperate for a ride. It’s cold, and she’s tired, and guess who pulls up? A carload of black dudes! In typical porno style, Judy accepts the ride – on one condition: she does them all in a secluded area up the road a ways. They give her a lift, drop her off, do her, and call it a day…all for your perverted fun.

That was a morning shoot. Then, there was an afternoon shoot. Then we’d sprinkle some Gloryholes in there. Then, if we were up for it, friends would drop by and we’d party a whole bunch.

It was drugs and sex and rock and roll, man. Which is to say – for a while anyway – it was a glorious time.

S.S. snapped this pic of me and Judy before the scene I just told you about. I kinda like it…it’s arty in a subtle way, which kinda represents him.

All of a sudden, one day S.S. decides he’s done. He’d had enough. Since I was late to the party, I was still having fun, so it was kinda hard to figure out why he was hauling ass. Looking back at it now, it all made sense.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

stories from porno land (some amusing, some not)

Gloryhole Sex

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The hole...

This is a true story. All the stories you read here are true, and this one is truer than most.

A long time ago I was an Arizona State Sundevil. I was struggling with my classes and being a dumb jock. One night, while I was studying for my Criminal Justice final, I realized it was time to poop. I don’t know about you, but I’m a home field guy; I don’t like to make a number 2 on unfamiliar turf.

But damn…I had to go. Really go.

So I hold it best I can, decide to give up the good fight, and make a decision: do I get on my bike and ride home? Or do I hit the can in the library?

I hit the can in the library.

I check all the stalls, choose the cleanest, and go to work. And as I’m sitting there, I notice a big fucking hole drilled out of the stall’s wall. I swear! I was so intent on making sure the toilet was clean whilst choosing stalls, I overlooked the fact that some homo drilled a gloryhole into the wall. Of course I had no idea then it was a gloryhole; in fact, I wasn’t sure what the hell was going on! Was someone going to try and peep on me while pooping? Was this some sort of janitorial aid?

Fuck it – I came to do a job, and I finished up and hauled my ass outta there. I was alone from start to finish, so that was a good thing.

Fast forward 15 years or so. We’re sitting around Dogfart’s secret mansion, trying to come up with new ideas for websites. Someone yells out GLORYHOLE! We laugh, especially when I recalled the story I just shared with you.

Dogfart didn’t laugh. Next thing I know, we’re in the van, cameras in tow, scouting public restrooms, adult bookshops, and all-around nasty ass places I know I could never poop at…I’d make in my pants before I sat my fat white ass on a toilet seat in any of these places.

Boy do I have a lot of Gloryhole stories. I shot every single scene on Gloryhole.com, some with Dogfart, most without. There were times me and the porn girls had to haul ass out of the place. And like all work there’s the good, the bad, and the ugly. You’re looking at the good here. I made Spring Thomas come with me while I shot the gloryhole Sophia scene. Sophia worked the hole; Spring Thomas was on the lookout for cops and/or people we didn’t want to come in contact with. A great scene with my two favorite girls in the whole wide world.

Nasty, filthy sex doesn’t get any better than this.

stories from porno land (some amusing, some not)

The West Side Is The Best Side

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The Crew

Dogfart took this picture, right before this Blacks On Blondes shoot at his secret mansion. So now let’s play Guess Who!

Guess who? Tony EverReady! (Tony just got out of the slam about a month ago for an assault rap. Someone called him out, and Tony knocked him out. I like Tony, but sometimes he makes me nervous. I think I was the first to hire him after he got released. Tony’s from the Inland Empire, and he’s O.G. The first time he showed up at the mansion, he didn’t even hide his firearm…instead, he wore it proudly on his hip.)

Guess who? the porn girl we shot! (I don’t even remember her name. I think it’s Renee. I remember she was from New Zeland, and she was really nice, and she put on a helluva scene. I don’t think she’s in the game anymore.)

Guess who? Byron Long! (He still lives and works in Porno Land. He’s a total pro, and a super cool cat. He likes to fish. A lot. He also has the best weed around. Strictly medicinal, you know…and his brother Kilo and I became fast friends, too. Kilo was Byron’s driver.)

Guess who? Wesley Pipes! (The most dangerous man I know, and I am not fucking around. I love shooting Wes, cause he’s Wes, and he has a rap like no other. He’s bad to the bone. He’s still in the game, too.)

Now guess which one is me.