My Lazy Ways


I’ve been slacking here, and that’s no good – cause I’ve got readers, damnit, and I owe ya something, right? I mean you’re coming back – I can see that in the traffic stats – and that’s not gonna last forever, especially at one silly post a week.

I mean I could just post some nudie pics and leave it at that, but it would be too easy. So I guess I’ll just go over my last 2 days shooting Spring Thomas content. You guys seem to like porno stories, especially when they’re true…and all the stories I tell here are true.

Wait! What that fuck am I thinking? I spent 2 days in Vegas last week, for the AVN’s and Internext Conventions! And of course I left my camera at home, and it’s got all my Vegas pics on it…so maybe I should just talk that up tonight.

It’s 9.12 pm, and I’m in Los Angeles, and I just dropped Spring off at the airport for her journey back home. And I’m rambling.

And that’s OK, right?

Vegas. Kat. Chico Wang. The Venetian. Sophia. My pals.

Kat’s wasted, and she’s 19 or 20, and Chico’s greasing the bar maid $100 so Kat can hang with us. There’s a cheezy Vegas cover band playing Journey (I think) and Kat’s all over the dance floor. Her short skirt is hiked up over her ass, and the people in the place have no idea what to think. No one really recognizes her as a porno girl, but there she is, acting like one, doing this stripper routine in front of The Toms, The Dicks, and The Harrys…with their wives sitting next to them, and they’re from Iowa, and Kansas, and places like that, and they’re digging every second of Kat’s dance.

Well, some of them are. The men certainly are. Some of the women are pissed, and they don’t like it one bit that their man actually likes Kat’s drunken girlie show.

Ain’t that the way it goes?


Chico Wang. Paying another $100 for a bottle of beer so he doesn’t have to wait in line. Then, it’s 10 shots of Jager – one for everyone at our table. James Dean shows up. He’s got 2 more porno chicks in tow – and they’re both underage, too. So is James, for that matter.

Sophia decides it’s her job to care for Kat, who’s now obliterated. Kat’s on stage, falling into the drum kit, and security is called – although the security dude backs off when the entire place boos his attempt to remove Kat from the stage.

Sophia escorts her out as Chico pleads with Sophy that all is OK, and Kat’s OK, and please stay.

She doesn’t; Sophia drags Kat out of that place and to the escalator. In her old days, Sophia would have partied us all under the table. She’s wiser now, and that’s a good thing.

I want to book Kat for everything I shoot. I don’t care. I’m booking her.

Chico Wang. Now he’s chasing Riley Mason around the casino, and Riley’s having no part in Chico’s reindeer games. Some of Riley’s handlers seem agitated, so me and my bro get Chico’s back…just in case.

Then, out of nowhere, security’s called, and Chico’s being escorted out.

Enough of that! Let’s see. Saturday I shoot Haley Scott for Blacks On Blondes. I think I’ll jump in the car and drive her to the gloryhole, too. Why not?

Sunday there’s this newcomer named Cheyenne Hunter flying out from wherever to try out Porno Land. Should be interesting. Let’s see how she fares in the gloryhole. That should be really interesting. I think I’ll team up Max Black and Rico Strong with her and give it a whorl, too…if she makes it out of the gloryhole in one piece.

Did I mention Bruce Springsteen’s Sirius channel is blasting right now? He got his own channel, and I haven’t listened to The Boss since 8th grade, which, for me, was 1977. Maybe ’78. I think it was right when Darkness on The Edge of Town came out.

As we motored down the 5, Spring Thomas asked me to please turn to channel 50 – the “Jamz” station – and I obliged her…cause I knew the airport was only minutes away.

The Boss? 24 hours a day?! What’s up with that? And why the fuck am I listening?!

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