Monthly Archives: March 2010

Here's the Skinny on Your Favorite Star, Worst of Billy Watson

Austin O’Reilly

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austin o'reilly sex videos
When I was in junior high, I had a Social Studies teacher who was a total hippy. He’d play records on one of those small turntables you’d get from the A/V department at the school’s library, while we were working on whatever it was we were working on that day. One of his records was “The Worst of Jefferson Airplane”, and I’d always wonder why anyone would name anything “The Worst” of…until now.

The very first pay site I ever owned was Spunkmouth. I loved Spunkmouth. Very much. There were three of us driving The Spunkmouth Boat; one of us was very enthusiastic about driving the boat, and the other two hardly ever really got behind the wheel.

As my grandfather once told me, “a partnership is a sinking ship” — no truer words ever spoken.

I bailed a few years ago, but Spunkmouth is still a float.

I hold fond memories of this particular scene, cause I was so new to the whole porno game, and I shot this on my very first solo trip to Porn Valley. I say “solo trip” cause — as the blog mentions — I had just returned from my stint as Second Cameraman for Blacks on Blondes. Anyway, upon my triumphant return, I rented a cheap room for 2 days, in which I shot 4 scenes. The very first time I directed “real” porno stars in Porn Valley.

Ah — those wanton days of yesteryear!

This blog’s original air date: September 26, 2005.

The day after I shot Kitty, I booked Austin O’Reilly for a b/g scene at that same shitty hotel room.

I met Austin a year or so earlier at Dogfart’s secret mansion, and I liked her from that moment on. She was always down for almost anything, had a great attitude, and always looked great. In fact, one of the craziest scenes I ever shot was with Austin and Bella Donna; Dogfart asked me to work the camera while he took stills. It was a g/g featuring — among other things — Bella and Austin eatins each others’ asses.

I’m not a huge fan of lesbo porn, but the things these two did blew me away.

Fast forward to now. Austin walks in the room. My partner is blown away. I’m blown away. And while we wait for the male talent to show, both of us just kinda stand there and watch Austin get ready for her scene. We try for small talk, and it’s a pretty lame attempt. I think I shot this pic…although my partner might have. I really don’t remember.

Here’s what a porn girl looks like as she preps for her job. My only regret is we didn’t know enough then to hire a make-up artist…not cause Austin couldn’t do her own make-up. She just deserves her own make-up artist.

Robbie James ended up pounding Austin that day. In fact, he pounded her so hard, he ended up bonking her head against the hanging lamp above one of the tables in the room — and that’s right before he unloaded right in her face.

Pure filth.

As smutty as it gets.

Another Spunkmouth classic.

I never heard from Austin after we wrapped that day. In fact, not too long after that, Austin did what most porn girls do…and that’s vanish into thin air. No more Austin on any agent’s site, and no more Austin working the porno circuit. I guess it was just time for her to move on, and I think that’s a great thing.

Spend too much time in this biz and you’re doomed for sure.

random rants

Would You Marry A Porn Star?

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Ashton Pierce hand job job movies
Charlie Hustles posted on Adult DVD Talk: Would you marry a pornstar? I’ve come to the conclusion that this is most likely my destiny, hahaha.

Funny…I’m not laughing.

Some of the responses (if you don’t feel like wading through multiple pages of posts):

I’d love it. Just as long as she didn’t lie about things and everything was out in the open. And as long as she still has some fucking left in her for me when she gets home.

Um — hate to break the news to ya, but most are pathological liars, and when they get home to you, they’re fucked out.

Me married to a hot lesbian pornstar? Definately 🙂

Um — the last one I hung out with for a few months turned to me one night and said, “I’m a lesbian. I think you should know that.” Needless to say, we ain’t hanging out no mo’. I love lesbians, too! The problem was — The Lesbian didn’t like me.

I guess I’d just as soon marry a porn star as anyone but she’s signing a prenuptial that says she can’t divorce me if she gives me an STD.

Huh?

Not really thinking about marriage at the moment, but with my mum’s desperate and constant nagging for me to get married I am sure that my mum wouldn’t mind! I reckon it would be cool – your wife would have lots of great funny stories to tell that would keep you amused (and probably turned on) well into your twilight years and long after your pecker ceases functioning.

Yes, your mum would mind. She might not pretend to mind, but she would. At least at first. And funny stories? Like the time she tore her vag from too much rough sex on set? Or the “Stunt Cock with The Stinky Balls” story? Or how ’bout the “Producer Who Would Only Give Me Work as Long as I Fucked Him” story? There’s a whole barrel o’ laughs just there.

Definitely. She’d all of a sudden become a little more exclusive to her projects, she’d make a few well placed promotional appearances, take some dance lessons, and hit the feature dance circuit. I’d be right there with the camera taking the $15.00 Polaroids. I’d then set up the website and then we’d venture into selling personalized scenes where’d she play directly to the person paying for the scene. Then I’d self produce a best of disk something like; E is for Eva, or G is for Gianna, and sell them along with the polaroid. The way I figure it, an autographed Polaroid and a disk for $40 or so, would probably net an extra $5,000 a w/e. We’d retire to a beach in Costa Rica after 5 years or so.

See Urban Diction for the definition of “Suitcase Pimp”. And no, you wouldn’t be able to retire anywhere after 5 years…not even Costa Rica.

I’d marry Amy Reid, Audrey Bitoni, Cassandra Calogera, Claire Dames, Holly West, Mindy Main, Priya Rai, Sativa Rose, Taryn Thomas or Taylor St. Claire but only if they were still shooting porn and they would marry me too. It’s hard to marry somebody if they won’t marry you back. Unfortunately, most of these ladies are taken and far from thinking about marrying me, but I’m pretty sure I’d marry each and every one if they proposed.

“If” being the operative word.

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t marry a pornstar. I’ve never known, dated, fucked or lived with a pornstar. If I met a pornstar that I knew was a pornstar I would take whatever I could get, let alone her and I being married. Hello, my name is D_____ E___, and this is my wife, Sadie West. Sounds good to me. At the very least you would get to hear about some interesting things. I think pornstars are interesting. I read the interviews. Some of the girls are fucking smart. Ashli Orion. So is Ashlynn Brooke. Dana Dearmond. Why would you not want to marry a young, cool, sexy girl? It doesn’t make any sense. I mean, in the long run, yes, the relationship is going to end, but all of them end, and almost none of them involve a woman who knows how to fuck. Companionship can be overrated sometimes.

I dunno even where to begin with this one. Some of these girls are fucking smart. Some. And just ’cause they’re fucking on camera doesn’t mean they know how to fuck.

I dont think I could ever marry a pornstar, like so many have said the fantasy of the situation would be crushed under the weight of the reality. As an everyday guy I know that no matter how accepting of a woman career I would be there would still be that part of me that would be totally jealous. Imagine that you were married to your favorite pornstar and you had your ordinary job. At first you think it is so cool and hot that you are married to a woman that so many guys want. After a while the comments start and at first they dont bother you because the guys that make them can only imagine what you get. Then after a little while they start to bother you. Then comes the day where she isnt in the mood to be with you and most guys would be frustrated and understanding, but in the back of your mind it like not in the mood to be with me, but she is going to go and bang a guy in a scene tomorrow. I personally wouldnt want to guilt my wife into sex by saying oh you’ll do it for your job but I am married to you and I cant get any. You could say it is all a job all you want but at the end of the day she is still getting physical needs met from that job and mental and emotional needs met from you. While for most guys you maybe getting your physical needs met, your getting mental and emotional anguish in return.

This is my favorite post. And with that, I’ll go ahead and make this more fun: If I was gonna marry a porn star right now, it would be Ashton Pierce, who beat out (by an ever so slight margin) Katie St. Ives. The bronze would go to Hannah West. (As if marrying me would merit a medal of any sort).

Who’s Ashton Pierce?

Well, she used to be Christie West — for a heartbeat. Then she quit for a while, and now she’s back as Kristie West. And I dunno why, but damn, this girl pushes my buttons.

Whatever those buttons may be. I say that cause they seem to be changing all the time. The only constant with me is the following — it seems after I’ve secured a relationship, I want out. Is there some sort of psychoanalytical nonsense that might enlighten me to my condition?

Anyone?

But yea, I’d hook up with Ashton for sure, and we’d run off to Vegas and get hitched, and for a few months we’d be as happy as clams (pardon the cliché) and then, after an issue or two or three, it would be over.

Cause, in the end, aren’t all relationships a cliché?

Christie West job job movies

Shameless Porno Plugs

Some of my Very Favorite Scenes, Lately.

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Tweety Valentine interracial cream pies
It’s a classic interracial match-up: Tweety Valentine v. Flash Brown.

Tweety is 4’11” and tips the scale right around 95 pounds.

Flash is 6’6″, 230.

Tweety could be the cheerleader to Flash’s power forward. As a matter of fact, I’m an idiot. That shoulda been the pick-up! UGH. For this scene, I had Tweedy’s motorcycle broken down (she really rides around in one) and Flash rescues her from The Hood. Shit! What was I thinking of?? Putting Tweety into a cheerleader outfit and handing Flash a basketball and shooting the pick-up over at a public court somewhere woulda made me the Steven Spielberg of interracial porn. Oh well.

Tweety did a great job taking all that size, and in the end she takes a rather large cream pie. “But I’m not on birth control!” is her last line for this scene…which might launch more loads than looking at the actual cream pie as it’s going down.

You sick fuckin’ pervs.

Speaking of sick fuckin’ pervs, Mr POV’s been on a roll lately: Katie St. Ives just showed up over at Mr. POV’s. He’s the biggest fuckin’ pervert I know on any sort of personal basis, and she’s the cutest thing in Porno Land.

She ends up swallowing.

I want her to be my girlfriend.

Right before Katie St. Ives showed up, Tessa Taylor spent the afternoon over at his place. Mr. POV doesn’t bogart all the pussy, either. I told that pervy motherfucker if I was gonna build a site around him, he’d have to share the pussy with some of his buddies. The way I see it, the biggest problem with POV sites is The Stunt Cock, and it’s always the same dude — over and over — and after a while that gets boring. (No Way Am I Gay.)

Tessa gets her face splattered in goo.

And the week before Tessa Taylor visited, Stephanie Cane swung by his pad.

Steph gets The Hot Combo: it’s a facial…and anything that winds up in her mouth goes right down her pie-hole.

Katie St. Ives and Tessa Taylor and Stephanie Cane! It’s been a Who’s-Who Of Hotties over there lately.

Jessie Jordan has made her way back into the porno game. Sometimes your favorite Porno Princess finds a man and quits The Game, which is exactly what happened with Jessie. She spent about a year with him, and I think the only good that came of it was Jessie didn’t support him that whole time. In this scene, she coaxes a double facial from our Stunt Cock.

Gracie Glam might be the hottest piece of ass in Porn Valley. If you ask me. Which you weren’t. But I thought I’d just toss that out there.

If you like your Amateurs super-amateur, then you’ll love Cindee. True story: I can’t even remember how she got my number, but she’s a one-timer in need of some fast cash (really) and with her boyfriend’s permission (I know…I know — it would be hotter if she didn’t tell him…right?) she spent a few days over at my studio and got Bro-Banged, got tagged up, took a trip to the gloryhole, and had a fine time in an interracial gang bang. By the end of our time together, she was caught up on all her bills, and Cindee’s love for her man is now stronger than ever.

I guess that’s the power of black cock.

No Way Am I Gay.

Tweety Valentine interracial cream pies

Shameless Porno Plugs, stories from porno land (some amusing, some not)

Introducing The Bro Bang.

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BroBang interracial bukkake
The Producer and I were talking about creating a new site. This was 18 months ago. Maybe more. Maybe less.

He had some ideas. The Producer wanted lotsa of black guys and a white girl. He wanted interracial bukakke. He wanted to create something controversial. Then, he asked me for some input.

I concurred with The Producer — not cause I was kissing ass, but because he’s right: the more dicks, the better it sells; the more controversy, the better it sells.

But first, let’s discuss bukakke. From The Urban Dictionary:

1) Noun: (lang. Japanese) A fetish ritual whereby a large group of men, usually at least 8, ejaculate on a woman’s face. Bukkake is a Japanese word pronounced ‘boo-car-key’. It had its origins in Japan some 500 years ago where it was a traditional punishment administered by male members of a village against unfaithful women. On the island of Honshu, the guilty woman was buried in the sand up to her neck before being ‘Bukkake on’. In most other parts of Japan, the woman was merely made to kneel with her hands tied behind her back before being splattered with multiple loads of man-gravy. The practice lost popularity when it was discovered that most women did not consider Bukkake a punishment. Today, the practice has wide acceptance in Germany, the US and also in Australia where Bukkake Parties are common place. Example: Hi Jill, would you like to be the star attraction at the Bukkake party I have organized this Friday night – with 28 of my buddies?”

2) Bukakke is when several men ejaculate in the face of a woman. The above mentioned description of its origin is false, mainly because since the punishment for adultery in feudal Japan was death. Bukakke is a dish in Japan with fine white noodles with a splash of topping in liquid not at all unlike loads of semen. It comes from the verb bukakkeru which means to splash some liquid (usually water). The Japanese are very good at making poetic or funny descriptions like that. All this mystic bullshit about Japan and Japanese customs must please stop. Example: I will bukakke you until you give up trying to sound schoolary at the expense of Japanese culture you sick pervert.

3) A fetish in pornography, the hallmarks of which is multiple men orgasming onto the face and body of a single girl. The genre was pretty much created by Japanese adult film director Kazuhiko Matsumoto. The word itself is a conjugation of two Japanese words, and roughly means “splash”. Example: bukakke makes me laugh.

4) The act of a group of men (usually more than eight) completely covering a female’s face with their special man syrup. 2. A practical joke played on some naive Asian. Examples: 1. “Hey Jen, Mike’s having a Bukakke party tonight, you in?” 2. “Anh, why don’t you order your food with Bukakke sauce…”

I first caught wind of bukkakes around ’98 or so. And I always thought “bukkake” was the Japanese word for “sweet cream”, which was something creamy and white and tasty they poured over a dessert — and the only reason I thought that is cause someone told me…and I believed him. Why not? Makes perfect sense…right?

I’m not even sure of the correct spelling: bukkake? bukkakke? bukake??

Porno Bukkakes kinda gross me out. I have no interest in whacking to some porn Japanese tart getting splattered by a bunch of pixilated dicks.

Why pixilated?

The silly Japs censor private parts in their porn.

Like I said — silly Japs.

Anyway, I was familiar with The Producer’s request for an interracial bukkake, and I was very familiar with controversy, especially when it comes to race relations our great country.

I thought.

I thought some more.

Then, the image of Malcolm X holding the rifle came to mind…but that was too severe. By law, we can only shoot porno princesses with jizz — not bullets.

Then, the image of Tommy Smith and Juan Carlos came to mind.

How ’bout blending the two? Malcolm X meets Tommy and Juan Carols?

Oh — wait. Have you been reading some of the comments left on my blog lately? They’re entertainment all by themselves, and I want to thank each and every one of you for leaving them. The reason I bring this up is cause of the dude in Australia who got on me for talking about bands from the 70’s. He thinks I’m dating myself, and those kind of references are almost forgotten simply cause of their age. So when I drop Malcolm X and Tommy Smith and Juan Carols, I’m sure that dope’s gonna blab some more. But that’s OK, cause I love my blog’s comment section!!

Anyway, I gave The Producer my input, and the next thing you know I’m calling the potential “Bro Bangers” and telling them to buy black suits and white button-up shirts and a bow tie and make sure to bring a black leather glove.

“Just one glove Billy? What up with dat, yo? I gotsta buy two gloves and only wear one?!”

Tell the truth — you love my black vernacular.

“Well, how about only some of you buy a set of gloves, and then split the cost of the gloves with someone else? Each guy gets a glove. I don’t care if the glove is on your right hand or your left hand. And Pork Pie hats are optional. Just show up at the Bro Bang in your appropriate work uniform. And act like you’re an angry negro. Sound like a plan?”

No one came with a Pork Pie hat, which disappointed me greatly.

But still, it came to be: The Bro Bang.

Oh — by the way, if anyone’s interested, there’s a bukakke party at my studio tonight.

You in?

BroBang interracial bukkake

Here's the Skinny on Your Favorite Star, stories from porno land (some amusing, some not)

Introducing Janie Jones

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Victoria Lawson blow job videos
When I first met Janie Jones, she wasn’t Janie Jones. She was Jane Doe, and she’s from the mid-west, and she was fresh off the bus and doing go-sees that day.

(A “go-see” is Porno Speak, and it’s all about taking the girls around town and showing them off to producers and directors. It’s really nothing more than a cattle call, something akin to the Howard Stern show — when Howard and his Gang “evaluate” girls for Playboy. It goes something like this: a suitcase pimp (or an agent, if the girl is lucky enough to have an agent) stops by, parades the girls in, has them strip, and then I shoot a pic or two or three and send them to the folks at Blacks on Blondes, and if they’re approved, they get a job. And no, before you ask, I don’t Casting Couch them.)

(Casting Couch is Porno Speak for having a girl suck or fuck you to get the job. Wait a sec — this isn’t really “porno speak” at all, cause it happens every day in Hollywood. You don’t really think your favorite starlet got her first job based on acting ability…do you?)

I booked Janie Jones immediately, and the next day she was in The Manojob make-up chair, ready to do her very first scene. But she still wasn’t Janie Jones.

We usually shoot BTS, and it’s usually shot in the make-up chair. “We” being myself or The Minion, and I usually let The Minion roll on BTS, cause he’s way better at it than I. This time The Minion was off at his girlfriend’s house — which he never wants to admit. He’ll tell me things like “I’ve got a lot to do today and I can’t stop by” or “Hey Billy I gotta go get my brakes looked at so I won’t be in today”.

The Minion’s had his brakes “looked at” about 17 times since Yom Kippur ended.

And I have no idea why he won’t man-up to having a chick. Kinda weird if you ask me.

Anyway, I’m shooting BTS, and the first question I ask is, “tell everyone at home your real name.”

“Jane Doe,” she said.

Any time a porno chick gives up her real name during BTS (or shooting the scene), you know you’ve got a first-timer on your hands.

I stop camera. “Um, Jane, you don’t want to use your real name. I mean there’s nothing wrong with using your real name as your porno name if you want. Dana DeArmond and Julia Bond are perfect examples. Remember, use your stage name. I’ll start over.”

“But I don’t have a stage name.”

I love giving girls stage names. Off the top of my head, I’ve named BJ Swallows, Anna Von Trapp, Kimmy (I know…boring), Keesha Knight — and now I get a shot at Jane Doe.

This is a serious thinking process. One I don’t take lightly. And fuck the Name-Your-First-Pet-and-Street-You-Lived-On-When-You-Were-A-Kid process…although that can work out rather nicely (the process used for Keesha Knight).

My porno name would be Dino Birch. If I could add about 3 more inches to my ween, I’d be Dino Birch, and I’d be painting the town white.

But I’m not.

I looked at Jane Doe and thought hard: “You’re so mid-west…and I hate to say this…so girl-next-door, I’d really, really say you need to have a name that matches your look. For example, when I blog this story, I’m gonna call you “Jane Doe”, cause I won’t use your real name. But that’s your look. Total Jane Doe. Which isn’t a bad thing at all. It’s really good if you ask me. I like to watch girls you’d never think do porn, doing porn. You know? The whole bleach-blonde fake titty tatted up girl that’s gone though lipo and had her teeth veneered and her hair isn’t really her hair but it’s a weave is so dumb…if you ask me, of course.”

“Well, I was thinking of naming myself Zaylen Skye.”

“Ugh. With a name like that, you’d be just another one of about 30 thousand. Besides, it doesn’t fit.”

She frowned.

I thought. I couldn’t shake “Jane”, and there’s no way “Jane Doe” would work — although Jon Doe did pretty well with that name — until he offed himself.

And then there’s John Doe, the bassist for X, a favorite of mine. Well, up til ’83 I really liked X, then they kinda faltered, and then Billy Zoom quit…and then I quit paying attention.

By the way, this was going through my head. What I just wrote. About Jane Doe and Jon Dough and then John Doe and then punk rock and how much I loved to catch X play back in the day and how much I like punk rock and how much I miss how new and raw punk used to be and how it is no longer…and then…suddenly…it hit.

“Janie Jones!”

Janie Jones looked at me. I looked at her.

Closely. “Yes. That’s a perfect name! Your new name is Janie Jones!”

“Janie Jones?”

“Janie Jones! Do you know about The Clash?”

“Kinda.”

“Kinda?”

“Kinda.”

He’s in love with rock ‘n’ roll, woah
He’s in love with getting stoned, woah
He’s in love with Janie Jones, woah
He don’t like his boring job no…

An’ he know what he’d got to do
He know he’s gonna have fun with you
Lucky lady!
But when the evening comes when his job is done
He’ll be over in his car for you

He’s in love with rock ‘n’ roll, woah
He’s in love with getting stoned, woah
He’s in love with Janie Jones, woah
But he don’t like his boring job no…

In the in-tray lots of work
But boss at the firm always thinks he shirks
Be he’s just like everyone he’s got a Ford Cortina
That just won’t run without fuel
Fill her up Jacko!

He’s in love with rock ‘n’ roll, woah
He’s in love with getting stoned, woah
He’s in love with Jaine Jones, woah
But he don’t like his boring job no…

An’ the invoice if don’t quite fit
There’s no payola in his alphabetical file
‘Cept for the government man
This time he’s really gonna show the boss
Gonna really let him let him know exactly how he feels
It’s pretty bad!

He’s in love with rock ‘n’ roll, woah
He’s in love with getting stoned, woah
He’s in love with Janie Jones, woah
But he don’t like his boring job no…
No
No
No
Let them know
Let them know

Janie Jones said, “I like it!”

And so we rolled BTS.

Guest Bloggers

Today’s Guest Blogger: Vicki Chase on Strap-on Sex.

3 Comments

Vicki Chase blow job videos
From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

I met Vicki Chase right before she jumped into the porno game; she was stunt-cock Eric John’s personal assistant. I ended up getting her first scene, too — over at The Dick Suckers. A few months later, Eric proposed to Vicki on my set.

“Um…no disrespect, Eric, but how about you take Vicki out to a cliff overlooking in Pacific in, say, Malibu…ask her to marry you there, and then drive down the hill and splurge on a super expensive meal or something?”

He didn’t budge, and he ended up proposing to her, on camera, on one of my cheezy porno sets…which, I suppose, holds some sort of romantic appeal.

Anyway, last night I had to stop by their joint last night to borrow a few things, and I asked Vicki to help me out with my blog, too. I haven’t had anything to say in a while, so why not let someone else talk? She thought about it a while, and then asked me, “but what can I blog?”

“Anything exciting happen to you lately on a porno set? My readers — the few who are left — love to hear stories about whacky shit that happens on porno sets.”

“I just banged a girl with a strap-on! It was my first time ever!”

“Perfect fodder for a porno blog, my dear!”

And so it came to be.

Hello there everyone!

It’s me, Vicki Chase 🙂 wanting to talk about my first time experience with a strap on! It happen just yesterday at Immortal Productions live cam “Big Titty Tuesdays”, where my hubby Eric John got to fuck Ms. Kerry Louise’s HH boobs. I got to join in on the fun because Ms. Louise rocks!!

So the show began as Eric started fucking those huge British tits, while I licked and sucked what she likes to call her cunt!………OMG! did she have a great looking cunt! It’s nice and big! with gorgeous color! She also had two piercings on it, and it was tasty too 😉 Eric popped his first two loads on those huge titts, and I licked my way from her tasty cunt to her huge tits, licking them nice and clean.

As he get takes a break from fucking her tits and starts fucking that big juicy cunt what do I see?? a strap on just sitting on top of the table. I pick it up and right away had a gleam in my eye. I’ve never try’d one on so i strap it on, and it took me couple tries before I was able to strap it on correctly to my naked body.

Once I had it on every one was all about it, except Karry she was a little sore from all the work she has been doing but then quickly agreed as long as I fuck her only for a bit. She was about to be my first, so I lubed up and said “bend over” and that she did! Looking at her from that point of view with my strap on cock in hand was a very empowering feeling, I mean it felt good!!

I start getting very into it with my little penetration rhythm I had going on, smacking that hot ass and everything, when the director rudely interrupted me with the whole “arm out of the way!” and “camera angles”, making me realize it’s not easy being male talent, but damn does it feel good to be inside a great juicy pussy!! On that note I leave you guys with the story of my fist time strap on, and happy that I carry one with me everyday!………….. my nice juicy pussy that is 😉