Category Archives: random raves

My New Gal? (Part 4).

Bungalow 3

I’ve been weirdly obsessed with the Chateau Marmont since John Belushi drew his last breath there, in Bungalow 3, in March of 1982.

I was a senior in high school, and I was a Belushi fan, like most 17 year old boys then. I was nuts for his work on SNL, and in Animal House, and even though Neighbors was a bit uneven, I still liked it. (Maybe I should watch it again…the last time I saw it was in the theater, and I’m thinking its humor wasn’t targeted at the same audience as, say, Animal House).

I even forgave Belushi for The Blues Brothers…but I’ll never forgive Aykroyd, Belushi’s little brother, or John Goodman for Blues Brothers 2000.

In 1982 I was almost an adult, driving my dad’s El Camino and listening and listening to one of the bad FM stations then. I remember driving down Tatum, near Shea, which is a big intersection in the neighborhood I grew up in. I think I had just left McDonald’s (which is still there) cause my friend Ellen L. would hook us up with free cheesburgers. That’s when the radio said John Belushi was just found dead at his bungalow in Hollywood and I was immediately bummed out – as well as curious.

What’s a bungalow? And why in the world is he dead?

Knowing where you were and what you were doing when someone who mattered to you died – long after it all went down – is an interesting thing. Remember where you were when either Kennedy was whacked? (I wasn’t born yet for number 1, and way too young for number 2). How about when Hinckley tried to take out Ronny Reagan? Maybe you remember what was happening when Cobain stuck the gun in his mouth (on my way home from teaching school), or maybe, even, um, when Tu Pac or Biggie got whacked (…when did that happen again?)

Anyway, I wanted to see Jayma after our first date, and I did. It was the next day, as a matter of fact, and it was a totally non-porno, non-sexual event. Well, kinda, anyway. I picked her up at The Porno Hotel in Porno Valley, and we just hung out. We went to a used book store (I scored a first edition of Crumb’s Fritz The Cat and a review copy of Harry Crews’s Florida Frenzy!!!), ran a few errands, got to know each other better, and (somehow) ended up at Chico Wang’s to watch him direct The Minion and Haley Scott; Chico was shooting his Minion scenes and now calling them “romantic”…today The Minion is terribly concerned as Miss Scott’s had a foot injury. The Minion picked her up at the hospital, took her home, and brought her into the room in a wheel chair.

From there, they made beautiful music as Chico rolled tape.

Afterward, I was kinda bummed, cause Jayma had to go home, and I had to go home, but I really wanted to see her again.

How about you come when I’m out in LA working, and we stay in a really nice hotel? We can just hang out. I won’t expect sex, and I’ll be a gentleman, and we can just get to know each other better…

She agreed, of course, cause here I am, telling you about The Chateau and John Belushi and myself and Jayma Reed. We were pretty much holed up at the Chateau for three days. She still wasn’t feeling well; her tonsils were ridiculously swollen and instead of looking like tonsils they more resemled a small fruit – like a tangerine, maybe. I really can’t say I was holed up, cause I would leave during the day to make dirty movies…but she didn’t leave at all, even when I told her Parker Posey was roaming around with her little white doggie – or there might be some fun celebrity sightings down by the pool.

I don’t think she ever left the room, and that was fine by me.

We learned some things about each other during those three days, and she asked I watch what I say here. At first, I wasn’t sure I could keep such a promise, but I have, so far. But I’ll tell you this: I made her come with me to Bungalow 3, and we talked about Belushi, and she told me she’s spoken to dead people in her past, and that’s fine by me, too.

We stood at the door of Bungalow 3.

We kissed.

I took a picture of the door they wheeled John Belushi’s dead body from almost 25 years ago.

We stood there a bit more.

Then we kissed, again.

We stood there a bit more.

“Do something,” I said.

She looked at me. “What do you want me to do?”

“I dunno. Something that would make his ghost smile.”

Bungalow 3

I Stuck My Finger Up Hillary Scott’s Butthole

Hillary Scott

I might have told you about Hillary Scott, and how she showed up on my set kinda tired cause she was working with Suze Randall all day long, and how she was supposed to do Double-A but it didn’t work, and how she likes Taco Bell Nachos with cheese only, and you might know that the day after I shot her she flew out to New York City to be on the Howard Stern show.

Double-A means double anal, which means two guys stick their pee-pees up her pooper at the same time.

But I don’t think I ever mentioned how Hillary “warms it up” before her scene … or the fact she let me help her warm that ultra-tight dumper up right before I shot her Double-A scene for Blacks On Blondes – which happens to be this week’s update on the site.

Am I braggin’ a lil’ bit?

Maybe.

Or, maybe I just thought you’d like to know.

Now get back to work…before you get in trouble.

My New Gal? (Part 3).

Jayma

We lost the car. Or, I lost the car. We had walked all the way back from the beach, up and down 2nd street in Santa Monica, and we couldn’t find the parking structure where our car was parked, mainly because all the parking structures looked the fucking same. We walked and walked and walked and walked, and no car, and all the while J. Sinn kept complaining, “My dick is really, really hard!”

I wonder if that’s cause Jacky Joy was riding around on his back, rubbing her pussy all over him. She was tired of walking, so she hopped on J., and I’m sure this was causing his woody. Either that or the fact that, for the last hour or so, we had just watched Jacky and Jayma wrestle around in the surf, making out the whole time.

And the more J. Sinn kept complaining about his stiff weiner, the more Jayma giggled. The more they both giggled. But I think I’ve mentioned this already.

For awhile, I really thought the car was stolen, but we finally found it. Which is where things got interesting. Actually, things got interesting on the 405, just a bit south of Sunset. That’s about the time she decided to take J Sinn up on his offer to make her squirt. She thought she wasn’t able to squirt; J. Sinn told her otherwise.

But I should back up.

J. Sinn learned how to make girls squirt from Dr. Phil Good, who learned how to make girls squirt from the master of making girls squirt – Axel Braun.

Axel Braun. He’s a funny guy. I read one of his dirty screenplays, once. It made me laugh. Why in the world would anyone write a screenplay for a dirty movie? I wonder if he story boards his dirty movies, too. Funny.

Anway, J. Sinn kept asking, over and over, if Jayma would allow him to make her squirt. And she was into it, and I was into watching it, so the next thing you know, Jayma’s jumping in the back, and Jacky’s jumping up front with me, and instantly Jayma’s shorts and panties are around her knees, and Jacky’s up front, and taken control of the radio, and my beloved Indie 103 is off, and something godawful is on, and it’s sure as shit definately on in the back seat, cause J. Sinn’s arm is moving a mile a minute, which is almost as fast as I’m driving down the 405, and in between lane changes and dodging other cars, I’m doing the best I can to enjoy the show.

And what a show!

Jayma’s head was buried somewhere under J. Sinn, and I think he was trying to fuck her, too; but she’s totally into teasing guys, and that’s exactly what she did. J would go back and forth – between trying to fuck her and make her squirt with his fingers; and I was going back and forth – between watching out for exit ramps and other cars; and Jack Joy was going back and forth – between one shitty radio station after another.

In the end, Jayma squirted. Everywhere. I’m glad the car was a rental, cause the back seat looked like someone dumped over a 5 gallon jug of water.

We piled out of the car, and I walked my date up to her room, and kissed her goodnight, and we made plans for the following day.

All in all, it was a good first date.

My New Gal? (Part 2).

Jayma Reed

She called me the next day, after the Brandon Iron fiasco. I won’t go into our conversation here, cause sometimes things need to be personal, even on an internet porno blog…but she was scheduled for a shoot in a few hours, at Nicky Milo’s studio right down the hall. She was shooting a lesbo thing with Jacky Joy, her porno pal, and we agreed to go out afterward; I’d take them both out to dinner.

Nicky did his thing, and I did my thing, and at the end of the day, we were together and heading out to Santa Monica. That’s about the time J. Sinn showed up. J. Sinn is male talent, and he also works at Shane’s World as a production manager. He’s kinda out of a place to stay right now, so he crashes at the studio, in our Green Room. J’s a cool cat, and to top it off, his big sister is Bella Donna.

I love Bella Donna.

It’s funny, cause back at Dogfart’s secret mansion on the top of the hill, Bella seemed to be around a lot. She’s the one who introduced me to Boo D. Licious. She’s the one who introduced me to Nacho Vidal. I watched Bella piss all over Austin O’Reilly, once. Or maybe Austin pee-pee’d all over Bella. She’s also the one who shot the most extreme anal scene I’ve ever witnessed…so extreme, it was never shown publically. She’s the one Diane Sawyer fucked with on 20/20, and Bella held her own.

That’s cause Bella’s bad to the bone.

J. Sinn. Bella Donna’s baby bro. In the porno business. We had booked him for an Eat Some Ass scene, and now he’s in tow, bringing up the rear of our porno gang – and he’s Jacky Joy’s “date”.

No one’s been to Santa Monica – except me – so we’re off, and on the way, somewhere near the 405 and the 10, J. Sinn and my gal discover they’re both Mormons. I could blog and blog and blog about that kooky group of Christians who call themselves The Church of Latter Day Saints, but I’ll save that for later.

And at the dinner table, those two hit it off like champs. A real bond. The Mormon brethren were at it, recollecting their days in Utah, and having a blast. I was too, really, cause she was running her finger up and down my leg under the table, and we held hands walking down the Promenade, and listening to two Porno Mormons comparing notes over dinner is a very interesting conversation – trust me.

Did I mention the whole time Jacky Joy sent text messages to God-knows-Who? I bet that Dirty Pirate Hooker sent 200 messages by the time I paid the bill.

Afterward, the four of us walked the Santa Monica pier; we were hand-in-hand, me and her, and that’s all I really remember. We walked in the sand, too, and the girls ran in the surf, and Jacky lost her phone, and me and J Sinn talked shop, and all-in-all the night was a very good thing.

Here’s the weird part, and I might as well get it over with now: I’ve got this weirdo thing going on with my sexuality right now; specifically, I think it would be kinda hot to have a slutty girlfriend who did naughty things with guys and girls while I watched. Oh sure, it’s normal to wanna watch your gal – or your wife – lez off with another chick…but bringing a dood into the game is weird, and I’ll be the first to admit it. Five years ago, I woulda knocked a dood out if he made a pass at my chick; now, I find it kinda hot.

There’s something wrong with me.

OK – now that I got that off my chest, I might as well talk about losing the car, and looking all over for it, and that’s when J Sinn was flirting heavily with both girls, and he kept saying, over and over, his dick was hard…which made the girls giggle. And Jacky wasn’t paying much attention to him, but I knew my date was, and things were about to get really crazy.

There’s something very wrong with me.

Mandingo and Zoe

More Porn Stats – Cause They’re Fun!

Mandingo and Zoe

So you know I’m all into my traffic stats, especially when it comes to the numbers generated from search engine traffic. When I talk about “traffic”, I’m talking about you. You’re a “hit”. If you’re coming here for the first time, internet pros call you a “unique hit”. If you went into your browser and typed in “www.ishootporn.com” you’re referred to as a “type-in” and that’s a good thing. If you went to Google, or Yahoo, or MSN, or whatever search engine you pefer, you’re called “search engine traffic”.

Today, let’s take a look at search engine traffic; specifically, what the surfer (you) is typing into Google and showing up at I Shoot Porn; and to be even more specific, the top ten porno girls’ names typed into a search engine. Just remember one thing – these are girls I’ve blogged about, and, for the most part, fairly recently. If I didn’t blog her, her name ain’t showing up. And for the girls showing up on the list, well, explaining exactly how they got there isn’t simple. I’ll admit that traffic traffic mystifies me, too…and I could bore you to death with details about how search engines work (and I don’t know it all, trust me), but I’ll skip that and get to the good stuff:

Coming in at the #10 spot is Riley Mason. How many times can I write about Riley? How many times can I tell you how much I like her? How many times do I need to remind you she’s an indie rock godess extrodinaire? How many times…

Number 9 is Julia Bond. Julia’s been on a bit of a hiatus lately. She’s really not doing much b/g work, either. She’s kinda laying low while she works on her site. I don’t blame her at all.

ISP’s number 8 search engine girl is Ashley Blue: Funny thing is I’ve only shot her once, and I really didn’t shoot her, per se…I was still second camera then, back in the day at Dogfart’s Secret Mansion. I’ve seen her a few times since: at Sophia’s brithday party a couple years ago, and every time I’ve gone to AVN’s. She’s on the DL now…really, I have no idea what’s she’s up to.

Brandy Talore comes in at 7. And I’ve never shot her! I just interviewed her once, when she was shooting in the same building I shoot in.

Number 6? Nicole Parks! I got to shoot Nicole a few times, and we kinda became friends. She needed some help on her site, and we talked about just hanging out, and then, one day, she just vanished. No one’s seen her since.

Hillary Scott is number 5. I wish I could show you some free movies from the two times I shot Hillary…but alas, I cannot. I shot her for Blacks On Blondes. I blogged her once, too.

4th place girl is Serena Taylor. Ah, Serena! Now-you-see-her-now-you-don’t. I wish she’d come back. She’s fuckin’ hot, if you ask me.

3rd goes to Jasmine Tame. I’ve blogged a lot about Jasmine. Probably as much as any porno chick. And for good reason. Here’s some new movies from her scene I shot for Blacks On Blondes.

A surprising second is Kaci Starr. Kaci’s super cool. We’re pals. There’s something about her girl-next-door look, combined with her girl-you’d-never-ever-suspect-would-do-a-porno-look (which is kinda the same as a girl-next-door look, I suppose) as well as her nice midwest-corn-fed look (and no, I’m not saying she’s “fat”) makes her another on my long list of favorites.

An even bigger surprise is the top ranked search engine girl – Alexa Lynn. After her Blacks on Blondes scene, Alexa, myself, and my actor pal went and grubbed on some Thai food. Here’s that entry. There’s another pic of sweet Alexa on the top of today’s entry, too.

Honorable mentions go to:
Chelci Fox
Mia Bang
Cherry Poppens
Nadia Synn (with a hot pic of her below…and if you’re wondering why you’re not seeing more of her, well…she got into a little fender bender, and she’ll be back soon.)
and Leili Yang.

And finally, a word on Spring Thomas … I didn’t take the time, but if I put “Spring Thomas” with all the terms people seem to combine her with, like “Spring Thomas and Mandingo” or “Spring Thomas Porn Star” or “Spring Thomas interracial” she’d be way up on the list.

Just FYI, Spring hun. Now get back to your new boyfriend. Before he gets upset with you.

Nadia Synn

Porn Statistics Redux

Spring Thomas

Well, it’s that time again. I go into my web stats and look into what people are typing into various search engines to arrive at I Shoot Porn. I did this once before, and I had fun, so here’s round 2. I’m sure I’ll do it again in the future.

What I discover…what people actually type into search engines…well, never ceases to amaze me. With that said, I’d like to reiterate these are exact phrases people typed into Google, or MSN, or Yahoo!, or whatever, to find my blog: I don’t make these up, nor alter them in any way. I’d like to either answer them, or comment…or both.

is mandingo the porn star dead – No. He’s alive and well and still has the biggest penis in porn. I just wish he’d return my calls. In fact, there he is getting a blow job from the wonderfully mighty Spring Thomas.

does anyone know where pornstar spring thomas class los angeles college – No. No one knows. And anyways, why would you want to know? So you can bother her at school? Maybe follow her around a bit? Eventually see if she needs some help with her homework? Maybe ask her out on a date, concealing the fact you know she is who she is? Rule number one when it comes to making friends and dating girls: don’t act like a creep.

stupid horny cum dumpster – Why wouldn’t you want a smart horny cum dumpster? Think about it – they’re already horny cum dumpsters…so it isn’t like you have to trick them into anything. Wouldn’t it be nice to have some intelligent conversation with them, after they’ve been cummed upon?

what happened to old dogfart – Like Mandingo, he’s alive and well and doing his thang. Take a look at a recent pic of the old codger at the bottom of today’s entry. That’s a very rare thing, you know…a real live picture of ol’ Dogfart.

best pov handjob – Well, that’s a Manojob – hands down. How can it even get better? Well, when Super Whore Kelly Fuckin’ Wells doles it out.

does the carpet match the drapes – Aren’t red pussies and blondes pussies really something special? I think that’s part of what makes Cherry Poppens so popular.

how to be a seattle pornstar? – There’s no way to be a Seattle pornstar, sorry. It’s nearly impossible. It’s better to live in Seattle and fly back and forth to LA every once in a while. That way, you avoid the cesspool that is Los Angeles, and you can still enjoy everything that’s to enjoy in Seattle.

gay porn and somking weed – First of all, it really helps to spell things correctly when you’re doing a search on whatever it is you want to find. But still, I’m confused here. Does this person want to find gay porn in which the actors smoke weed and then do their gay thing? Or does the person here want to know the effects of watching gay porn under the influence of weed? Maybe a little of both?

eat my poo porn – Eat my poo porn? Munching on boom-booms? Tasty turds? Chowing down on choda? Now come on. Really. Who in the world wants to see this shit? Oh, and pardon the pun.

what to eat to shoot a load like a porn star – Peter North swears by celery, and lots of it. I’ve heard the supplement Lecitan helps a ton. Some people have told me zinc. For a while some snake oil peddlers had Peter North as a spokeperson, hawking some sort of drops/liquids that helped boost the volume of your load. Here’s what I say: lay off beating off for 2 or 3 days. Let it all build up. Then shoot it. The longer you wait, the bigger it is. Even though the human body is a complicated machine, this is pretty easy stuff to figure out.

Dogfart

Porn Statistics

Miles

I love looking at my traffic stats. It’s not like I have a lot of traffic, but I get some. And my nifty software can trace what people type into a search engine – Google being the most popular by far – and end up here, at my blog. The top search engine terms for my blog are obvious: “Jasmine Tame” and “Riley Mason” and “Spring Thomas” and “Julia Bond“.

It’s the one-and-two hit search engine terms that crack me up. And I mean exactly that…the following 20 terms, shown here verbatim, were typed into one of the major search engines. What the fuck? I wonder how Google even sends these folks my way! I mean honestly, check some of these out, (and imagine some fat, horny old man, drunk off his ass at 3 in the morning (on a Tuesday) looking for some of this shit):

1) “18 year old bunny the cheerleader fucking wesley pipes” – well, this one kinda makes sense. I’ve never heard of “Bunny the Cheerleader”, but I know Wesley Pipes very well, and I remember blogging about Paige Morgan, the North American Snow Bunny, so…like I said, this one makes sense. Kinda, anyway.

2) “how to make her cum with your hand” – Poor guy. Can’t get his chick off, and he’s scouring the web in order to make the little Missus happy. Here’s a little trick I learned from haning around porno folks: insert two fingers, the middle and fourth finger, into the vagina, push up (lightly) towards her belly button, and turn both fingers in a circular motion. Add some stimulus to her clit with your thumb, and she should be one happy camper.

3) “sex sex sex sex sex porn porn porn porn porn porn” – that’s right. That’s exactly what some dope typed into Google. If “sex” and “porn” wasn’t enough, he did it another 4 times each.

4) “hiding things in my pussy” – Um, ok. Like what? Secret treasure? Or just a map to secret treasure? A gun? Something you’re not supposed to have, like a lighter on an airplane?

5) “the life of a porn camera man” – like anyone would want to know about this.

6) “dj. fingaz shake that shit julia bond” – Fingaz and Julia are in love. They love each other very much. They make a great couple. I have no idea why/what this foolio was looking for, exactly, when he typed this into Google, but there ya go. Fingaz and Julia are in love. They love each other very much.

7) “how to get a porn site started and get paid” – Don’t bother. There’s no money in internet porn. Really, there isn’t. Move on.

8) “big loads hot spunk gay flying” – What exactly is going on here? I mean I get the first parts…big loads, hot spunk. But gay flying? Like homos having sex in a plane? I dunno how to even comment.

9) “guys who like to get gang fucked up the ass for home made porn” – This one terrifies me.

10) “gay cholos and cholos having sex with guys” – God damn this guy is a genius. Why didn’t I come up with this one?? It should do very well as a paysite. Oh, wait a second. There’s no money in internet porn. Forget I even said this.

11) “is mandingo bigger than jack napier?” – Yes, but I’ve blogged this already.

12) “chico wang chinese actor” – How about that, Chico?! Could they be searching for one of your proteges, like Bejing Bang? Or Hung Lo? HAHAHAHAHA. Oh, by the way…I think I still owe you some money. Call me bro.

13) “shoot a load up her nose” – another internet genius.

14) “how much dick could a dicksucker suck if a dicksucker could suck dick” – I shit you not this one is real. Say it three times, real fast.

15) “riley mason is in alot of porn” – Yes, she is, and rightly so!

16) “apply to be a porno star” – Riggght. Like there’s an application even involved. Oh, and don’t forget your updated resume!

17) “pics of people having sex while scuba diving” – You know I’m PADI certified? I got certified in Maui, like a decade ago. It was fun. I saw a lot of things in the ocean. Some of them scared me. It was kind of weird breathing underwater, especially when you’re, like, 25 feet deep, and there’s big creatures very close to you. The very thing that NEVER crossed my mind once was having sex there.

18) “black midget lil pimp porno forum” – Lil’ Pimp, for those who don’t know, is a black midget. He’s also a porn star. He’s also credited in some movies as “Lil’ Pimp Hand”, a name I like much more. As you can see, he’s got a slightly bigger than average dick on a little bitty body. This, of course, makes his penis look gigantic. He’s been in a few dirty movies. That’s about all there is to say about him. How anyone could create a forum around Lil’ Pimp baffles me. But I’m easily confused. Perhaps it was Lil’ Pimp, searching himself?

19) “waxed ass finger cum.com” – Is there something here I haven’t heard about? Waxed Ass Finger might really be a great name for a punk rock band. Well, now that I think about it, probably not.

20) “jenna jameson being gang banged” – Puh-leaze. Shit, when Jenna was cool she didn’t do gang bangs. Now she’s just doing her goofy husband on film. Oh, and really hot chicks. But still…how fuckin’ lame is that?

Damn, just looking at my stats, I could go on and on. This might turn into a monthly thing for me. And no, really…I didn’t make any of these up. Again, I repeat: someone, somewhere, typed those exact phrases into a search engine and found my blog.

And just when I thought it didn’t get any wierder.

The Money Shot

Tabitha's Money Shot

I think I’ll make this quick.

Let’s face it, we all love a good cum shot; in fact, it’s the reason most of us pervy pervs watch porn. I know it’s the one part of a dirty movie I’ll fast-forward to.

So, with that said, I think I’ll talk briefly about some of the best pop shots ever to appear on Spunkmouth.

Why not?

One of the earliest scenes making today’s list is the Doctor AZ and BJ Swallows Spunkmouth scene. A great amateur scene, if I say so, and I think I will, cause I shot it, and it really is a great scene. Not cause Z plowed her silly, or that BJ Swallows loved it all…Z’s pop shot resembled a fire hose, and BJ’s face, hair, and tits were ablaze, and when it was all said and done, Doctor Z put the fire out…and then some.

I shot this amateur girl named Jasmine last summer. She was great. Nice girl (my thing), lotsa tats (not my thing), and we found this cat who wanted to be a “porn star”, so we gave him a shot. Jasmine also needed cash badly (what porn girl doesn’t?) so she was willing to have our guy stick it in her butt. She really didn’t do anal too much in her private life, but that extra $100 bucks made her give it a try. Well…it didn’t work out too well, but our guy sure did, and he unloaded a giant gusher of man goo all over her…to the point it took her breath away. Oh yea, you read right. As he hosed her down, she made that little gasping sound I’ve only heard a handful of times before…it can best be described as the sound of a great money shot.

Depending on what site you visit, Spunkmouth Tabitha spells her name like we do…”Tabitha”, or, sometimes, it’s “Tabetha”. Either way is fine by me. What I liked best about Tabitha is her girl-next-store looks, and the fact our dude dumped so much baby batter on her face he ended up gluing both her eyes shut. The best part was the cum missle he fired over her head, just skimming her hair do enough to leave a streak in it, all the way down the back of her head, where it landed on her ass. I kid you not.

Spunkmouth Nicole is another early amateur shoot I did, and I shot it on my birthday a few years back, and Spring Thomas was hanging around that night, and I think after I wrapped the scene, Spring took my out for a little birthday dinner…I think. I do remember Nicole, cause it was her first – and last – scene ever. And the only guy she’d let touch her was her (then) boyfriend, and even though I wouldn’t shoot that kind of scene now, I shot it then, and that’s ok…cause it’s a good scene. There’s some buttfucking in it, too, so it scores some bonus points there…but it’s the dude’s pop shot that really makes the scene work well. And you know, just by looking at her face while he unloaded about a week’s worth of pent-up frustration on her, that this sort of thing doesn’t happen in their private life…but come to think of it, who’s private life does this ever happen it?

I’ve blogged Taryn Thomas before. And I’ll do it now. Cause after she was “Britt”, and right on the cusp of her leaving for Los Angeles, I shot Taryn for Spunkmouth, and it turned out superbly. What a talent she has! Taryn can fuck with the best of them, but again, it’s the pop shot that makes this scene really work. The dude’s name was “Karma”, and I think Karma held off at least 5 days before walking on to my set. If you don’t believe me, just watch the scene. I think Taryn was in the shower for half an hor after this scene wrapped…just to clean the jizz out of her pretty brunette hair musta taken 20 minutes.

Jasmine's Money Shot

Nadia Synn

Nadia Synn

A local agent, Cole Montana, sent me a picture of Nadia Synn a few weeks ago, and I told him to book her immediately. I didn’t care if I was in Los Angeles and she was back home; I absolutely had to have her on at least Spunkmouth.

In fact, when I booked her, I knew I wouldn’t be able to shoot her, and since my partners and I decided I was working a bit too much, it might be time to hire someone else to shoot some of Spunkmouth’s content. Three years ago, if someone told me there’d be someone besides me behind the wheel of a Spunkmouth shoot, I’d have scoffed.

Now, it kinda makes sense. I am working too much, and I do need some help, and besides, maybe it’s time to bring someone else in to work a Spunkmouth camera. I’ll be the first to admit too much of anything bores me, even if it’s my work, and really, besides some of the shit Whoremonger sends us, Spunkmouth is pretty much me.

Until Nadia Synn.

Good god. Nadia shot better than the pictures Cole sent me, and, in fact, it was Cole who shot the scene…and what a scene it turned out to be. Nadia’s a total heet, and that always helps. There’s two things – two key ingrediants – to quality stoke flicks; numero uno being the girl’s looks…but the other key ingrediant, the one can put a scene over the top, is how much the female talent likes sex…and Nadia Synn likes sex.

No. She loves sex.

I guess it couldn’t be any more evident than watching her pussy juice drip down the dude’s dick. You read right…it literally drips down his weiner. In all the scenes I’ve ever shot – which, I think, might be close to 400 now – I think I’ve seen a pussy drip cream maybe a total of 6 times.

Nadia’s into sex that much.

The only thing I don’t like about the scene?

I didn’t shoot it. But that’s a good thing. Might be the reason it turned out as good as it did.

Word has it, some big internet porno program was about to offer Nadia a contract, and things didn’t work out. Word has it she lives in some hotel somewhere and doesn’t have a car, but she’s got a cell phone, and that makes perfect sense. I don’t really care about any of that…we just need more content with her in it.

This time – good or bad – I’m shooting it.

Nadia Synn

Eat Some Ass. Toss a Salad. Rim Jobs.

Eat Some Ass

Speaking of starting new websites, Eat Some Ass just went live yesterday!

My partners in the Spunk Enterprise (J. and B.) and I met for long, long hours in our secret board room, and working from multiple ideas generated from marketing plans we paid top professors working at various Ivy League Graduate Schools to generate, Eat Some Ass was born.

In fact my partner B. went to a very prestigious art school and is quite a master. He’s been a part of group shows, had solo shows, and even made a living (for a while) making art. With all his artistic might he created what I think is the finest web graphic for a dirty site ever created. That’s right, a mighty big statement. There it is, to your left.

(Note the slobbery tounge and the quivering assholes.)

Remember, the niche thingy I talked about the day before yesterday? When I talked about the birth of Manojob? We didn’t want to take any chances with a new concept, so we brought in some professionals…and after paying tens of thousands of dollars consulting some of today’s top think tanks, we came to a conclusion: eating ass is a nasty, filthy thing. And pervy pervs surfing the internet drunk at 2 am after an unsuccessful evening of schmoozing potenital suitors over drinks at the local watering hole, angry angry men, home alone, beating their meat, love to watch girls do nasty, filthy things. Mainly cause they’re angry.

One group at a think tank told us they get pissed cause maybe that night the chick only put out a phone number, or maybe didn’t even put that out. They’re pissed cause their roomate’s getting laid, they’re pissed cause they got the chick home and she wouldn’t put out, and after multiple requests for her to do so, she put 1/2 her clothes back on and left. They’re pissed cause instead of fucking a girl they’re fucking a fist full of warm creamy lotion. And when dudes get angry they are more likely to grab a towel, wipe off their hands, and pull their credit card out in order to watch The Enemy do awful, gnarly things…and finish the task at hand.

And tossing a dude’s salad is pretty gnarly.

I’ve dated two girls who have indeed tossed mine. I’ll admit right now it’s kinda tickley and funny and naughty all at the same time. And I’ll admit the experience was heightened a bit knowing my gal was committing an act the church frowned upon.

An old friend of mine, GW, loved getting his salad tossed so much it was one of his prerequisites for dating a girl.

Is there something kinda gay about it? I mean it’s weird, cause getting into the cannonball position, or going doggystyle so your chick can lick your dumper is somewhat gay in a sense. I would never go doggy to have my salad tossed; however, I did get in the cannonball position.

But no way am I gay.

Anways, we’ve got a stellar lineup of talent for the site: we got Deja Dare to tickle a brown star with her tounge; we got now-you-see-her-now-you-don’t Tricia Davis to lick a bunger; my lovely friend Sophia ate some ass; Sophie Dee munched some butt; Sahara Knite frenched a sphinctor; Angela Stone chowed down on a keester, and she got so worked up she made her pussy squirt mulitple times; Lyla Lei dined on a rear end.

Um, get the picture?

If not, Cherry Poppens mouthed a shitter.

So now you do have it. Or, it is what it is.