
He had some ideas. The Producer wanted lotsa of black guys and a white girl. He wanted interracial bukakke. He wanted to create something controversial. Then, he asked me for some input.
I concurred with The Producer — not cause I was kissing ass, but because he’s right: the more dicks, the better it sells; the more controversy, the better it sells.
But first, let’s discuss bukakke. From The Urban Dictionary:
1) Noun: (lang. Japanese) A fetish ritual whereby a large group of men, usually at least 8, ejaculate on a woman’s face. Bukkake is a Japanese word pronounced ‘boo-car-key’. It had its origins in Japan some 500 years ago where it was a traditional punishment administered by male members of a village against unfaithful women. On the island of Honshu, the guilty woman was buried in the sand up to her neck before being ‘Bukkake on’. In most other parts of Japan, the woman was merely made to kneel with her hands tied behind her back before being splattered with multiple loads of man-gravy. The practice lost popularity when it was discovered that most women did not consider Bukkake a punishment. Today, the practice has wide acceptance in Germany, the US and also in Australia where Bukkake Parties are common place. Example: Hi Jill, would you like to be the star attraction at the Bukkake party I have organized this Friday night – with 28 of my buddies?”
2) Bukakke is when several men ejaculate in the face of a woman. The above mentioned description of its origin is false, mainly because since the punishment for adultery in feudal Japan was death. Bukakke is a dish in Japan with fine white noodles with a splash of topping in liquid not at all unlike loads of semen. It comes from the verb bukakkeru which means to splash some liquid (usually water). The Japanese are very good at making poetic or funny descriptions like that. All this mystic bullshit about Japan and Japanese customs must please stop. Example: I will bukakke you until you give up trying to sound schoolary at the expense of Japanese culture you sick pervert.
3) A fetish in pornography, the hallmarks of which is multiple men orgasming onto the face and body of a single girl. The genre was pretty much created by Japanese adult film director Kazuhiko Matsumoto. The word itself is a conjugation of two Japanese words, and roughly means “splash”. Example: bukakke makes me laugh.
4) The act of a group of men (usually more than eight) completely covering a female’s face with their special man syrup. 2. A practical joke played on some naive Asian. Examples: 1. “Hey Jen, Mike’s having a Bukakke party tonight, you in?” 2. “Anh, why don’t you order your food with Bukakke sauce…”
I first caught wind of bukkakes around ’98 or so. And I always thought “bukkake” was the Japanese word for “sweet cream”, which was something creamy and white and tasty they poured over a dessert — and the only reason I thought that is cause someone told me…and I believed him. Why not? Makes perfect sense…right?
I’m not even sure of the correct spelling: bukkake? bukkakke? bukake??
Porno Bukkakes kinda gross me out. I have no interest in whacking to some porn Japanese tart getting splattered by a bunch of pixilated dicks.
Why pixilated?
The silly Japs censor private parts in their porn.
Like I said — silly Japs.
Anyway, I was familiar with The Producer’s request for an interracial bukkake, and I was very familiar with controversy, especially when it comes to race relations our great country.
I thought.
I thought some more.
Then, the image of Malcolm X holding the rifle came to mind…but that was too severe. By law, we can only shoot porno princesses with jizz — not bullets.
Then, the image of Tommy Smith and Juan Carlos came to mind.
How ’bout blending the two? Malcolm X meets Tommy and Juan Carols?
Oh — wait. Have you been reading some of the comments left on my blog lately? They’re entertainment all by themselves, and I want to thank each and every one of you for leaving them. The reason I bring this up is cause of the dude in Australia who got on me for talking about bands from the 70’s. He thinks I’m dating myself, and those kind of references are almost forgotten simply cause of their age. So when I drop Malcolm X and Tommy Smith and Juan Carols, I’m sure that dope’s gonna blab some more. But that’s OK, cause I love my blog’s comment section!!
Anyway, I gave The Producer my input, and the next thing you know I’m calling the potential “Bro Bangers” and telling them to buy black suits and white button-up shirts and a bow tie and make sure to bring a black leather glove.
“Just one glove Billy? What up with dat, yo? I gotsta buy two gloves and only wear one?!”
Tell the truth — you love my black vernacular.
“Well, how about only some of you buy a set of gloves, and then split the cost of the gloves with someone else? Each guy gets a glove. I don’t care if the glove is on your right hand or your left hand. And Pork Pie hats are optional. Just show up at the Bro Bang in your appropriate work uniform. And act like you’re an angry negro. Sound like a plan?”
No one came with a Pork Pie hat, which disappointed me greatly.
But still, it came to be: The Bro Bang.
Oh — by the way, if anyone’s interested, there’s a bukakke party at my studio tonight.
You in?





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