Tuesday Cartoon Madness
All posts by Billy Watson
Kaycee Dean – Number One
I liked Kaycee’s look from the moment her picture ended up in my e-mail last month; I booked her immediately.
I interviewed her, too.
But I had no idea that, within days after her scene went live on Spunkmouth, that she’d be the number one rated girl by its members…but I have some ideas as to why.
I actually shot this scene as somewhat of an “experiment”. Well, experiment might be a fancy word…especially when it comes to porn, but, for lack of a better term, I’ll use it.
Kaycee doesn’t fuck one of the three dudes in the scene with her. That’s the experiment. Cause Spunkmouth is a site where the girls get fucked. Really fucked. And, in some cases, I’m using the word “fucked” metaphorically as well. Anyways, on a site where all the girls get fucked, Kaycee doesn’t…yet my members love her scene. It could be because the whole scene is conducted as an “interview”, and, it’s as close to a real interview as you can get in porno…and fans love that sort of shit.
Could be there’s 3 dicks in the scene, and the more dicks a porn girl has to handle, the more the fans love it.
Could be there’s 3 extremely large pop shots – all three dudes unloaded directly in her face, and the more jizz, the more the fans love it.
Could be Kaycee doesn’t look like a porn whore; she looks more like the girl that sat next to you in class, right? I also had her dress like that girl in your class – not like a porn whore – and I think that really helps.
Could be all of the above.
Anyways, I need to hire her back. She’s not from LA, and she’s gone home, and who knows when she’s coming back…if she ever does.
Let’s keep our fingers crossed.
Tuesday Cartoon Madness
Free Serena Taylor Handjob Movies
About a week ago I blogged the top 10 JOMG scenes according to our member base. A girl named Serena Taylor clocked in at the number 10 spot…in case you missed that entry, here’s what I wrote about her:
Now-You-See-Her-Now-You-Don’t Serena Taylor was a local amateur who actually started up her own website, although the last time I looked it hadn’t been updated in over a year. When they show up on the porno circuit, do great and get booked a ton but suddenly disappear, it usually means they fell in love. And when they fall out of love and need money again, they return. I can’t wait for Serena to fall out of love; I mean this in a good way, of course.
Two days after I posted this, guess who called me looking for work?
Yep. I was right. She fell out of love. In fact, I had deleted Serena’s number off my phone, so when she hit me up, I had no idea who it was…and it took me about 10 seconds to figure out she was calling – even after I answered the phone. When it hit me I was speaking to Serena, I thought for sure she musta been reading the blog.
Nope – turns out she really fell outta love, and she needs money for all sorts of things – from new boobies to a new car.
Why in the world would she need new boobies? I have no clue. To me, that’s something akin to Spring Thomas needing new lips, or something silly like that.
It was nice to work with Serena again. I think she looks great, and even though she was a bit rusty from being off camera for such a long time, she did a great job jerking for ManoJob. Afterwards, we caught up a bit, and as I walked her out to her car, she admitted there’s a chance she might be willing to go all the way on camera – which would be a first for her. (Afterall, a nice set of boobies ain’t cheap.)
A boy/girl Serena Taylor scene would make for a great Spunkmouth update I bet…to top her JOMG update from a long time ago.
Speaking of a long time ago, here’s some free Serena Taylor handjob movies from when I shot her the very first time. Cool thing about Serena…she’s NOT a cum dodger.
And here’s some free Serena Taylor blowjob movies from her JOMG scene, too. And yea, those are really her glasses.
Now just don’t going saying I never gave you anything for free, ok?
Spring Thomas Is Pissed At Me.
My phone rings. It’s Spring. And she’s mad.
Shoutin’ mad.
She’s pissed cause she says whenever I post a picture of her on my blog, it’s always a bad one. And when I say she’s yelling this at me, she’s yelling at me.
This is the pic she’s referring to. It was on a post from last week.
Now, if you ask me, that’s not a bad picture. Not at all.
I try and defend myself, but Spring isn’t having it…like usual. She usually sees things one way, and we all know what way that is.
Does this really look like a bad pic to you? Or a silly one that borders on cute cause it’s silly? Especially since most of the pics we ever see of Spring are posed, and serious, or sexy, and usually feature a giant black dick in her mouth.
I try to explain this to her, but again, she ain’t listenin’. So she hangs up, but right before she does, she tells me she’s going to e-mail some good pictures.
And sure enough, a day later, I get some pics in my box. There’s one of me and her, and one of her and Cherry Poppens on set, and a group shot with me and her and Cherry and my make-up artist, and then I find one I really like – Spring and her pal Sophia, not being porn stars, but just best friends.
At a bar.
Having fun.
A peek into the private lives of two girls some of you really wish you could know, but most likely never will…except in that porno way that really isn’t them.
When I was a porno consumer, it would have been pics like this I loved most. I say “would have been” because I never got to see pics of porno girls living like we all do; the only pics I ever got to see of porn stars were the ones on VHS box covers or magazine covers or in the magazines. None of which is real.
So, here ya go, my friends. Enjoy the nice picture of Spring and Sophia enjoying life.
I hope this one works for you too, Spring.
Um, one other thing: Hi Bob.
Super fun e-mails.
(Not the real) Ron Jeremy writes:
I want to bring up something that has been on my mind.
I feel as if most people look down on pornstarlets and don’t take them seriously as actresses. They are indeed actresses, in fact I believe some are above any found in mainstream hollywood. Lets take Spring Thomas for example. She realistically feigns delight as she is pummeled by several vile smelling, spear chucking, collared green eating, stealing, snorting, smoking, lying, jungle jiving, large dicked, lip smacking, penitentiary time serving, gang banging, tree swinging, ghetto living, tricked out car driving, nappy haired negroes.
Could Nicole Kidman pull this off? I think not! Pornstarlets ARE great actresses!
Billy, keep that in the back of your mind when Jayma says “I love you”.
Your friend,
Not the real Ron
Ron, my old friend!
It’s always good to hear from you; in fact, I giggle like a little girl in front of her brand new Easy-Bake oven on Christmas Morn’ whenever I see one of your e-mails in my box. I don’t know if it’s your politically incorrect, racist language that does it for me, or simply just the fact that you often ask excellent questions…or, as evident in this witty piece of correspondance, make excellent, true-to-life observations.
Either way, it’s almost always a win-win whenever I open one of your e-mails; today’s no exception.
Your pal,
Billy.
PS: Jayma would never, ever lie to me…just like Spring hasn’t. Or won’t.
Never ever.
Tuesday Cartoon Madness
Super fun e-mails.
Dutch writes:
Mr. Watson,
I read your postings the other night with some pleasure and noticed your ongoing flame war over whether Porn can be Art. Your position seemed to me that motive determined if creative product could be defined as Art. The contrary position seems to be that Art occurs if you are seriously artistic enough. I think you are arguing apples and oranges.
In my opinion Art is when the mastery of a craft and creative inspiration as informed by Genius. This begs the question what is Genius? I don’t know but like the Supreme Court regarding Porn I know it when I see it.
Mastery of craft besides the obvious technical acuity, in your case photography, also involves executing aesthetic judgment, the tossing of the bad. All photographs contain three elements: content, what the photo is of; execution, the technical competency of the finished product and the design, the arrangement of the graphic elements. The rubric about professionalism applies to this, your product is executed with attention to standards that may be only instinctive but I imagine it pains you to see your less than best efforts on the internet no matter the money it makes you.
Creative inspiration should be obvious but it has nuances, it is notable mostly in its absence. You describe your process as a formula, I think it was twenty-seven minutes and a pop shoot, the formula is the money maker and sound business practice. Creativity presses against the boundaries of the formula and tries to make it new, this is dangerous. My favorite aphorism about art turns the “I don’t know anything about art but I know what I like,” saying on its head, “People don’t know what they like they like what they know.” Getting too far ahead of the crowd is dangerous if your product is based on a formula.
Photography is moving a frame in space and selecting the elements included, based on a limited exposure to your work I’d say creativity is happening. I have met only one genius in the visual arts, Lucien Clergue, I can’t say I like everything he has done, he chooses eccentric angles sometimes and sometimes they are pointless but some of it soars. My point is when genius transforms art into Art, it is only recognizable when its behind you, be willing to acknowledge it when you see it.
I think your disdain for your efforts is based on your empathy for the flawed human clay you use to create your product. This is praiseworthy as is your own willingness to put your self on the line by publishing your portrait. I think your disdain for Eon McKai is based on the correct assumption that these folks take themselves way too seriously. At any rate, this started as a few lines to complement your blog and turned into a book proposal; I should take my own advice and not be so serious. Do the right thing and go ahead, don’t sell your self short and keep up the good work.
Dutch
Dutch!
Thanks for your kind words – and your argument – even though parts of it were so fancy, I’m not so sure exactly what it is you’re saying. Let me reiterate porn isn’t art and can never be art; porn is nothing more that a mastubartory device, and it’s a wonderful one at that. Motive doesn’t determine art; and you can be one serious motherfucker, but if you don’t have any talent, you’ll never create art.
Before I can proceed, we need some definitions here, brother…problem is, coming up with a way not only to define words like “genius”, but define them in a way we can all agree makes sense. Well, wait. We probably can all agree on a definition for “genius”; it’s coming up with examples of genius that will only add fuel to the fire.
For example, ask my dad if Bob Dylan is a genius; then, ask my grandma is Frank Sinatra is one.
So let’s define art…or, let someone else define it: according to Dictionary.com, art has many different definitions, but number one on their list is the “quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance.”
In other words, Dictionary.com is saying Porn can be Art. It just depends on what we find “beautiful”? Is this silkscreen of an electric chair Warhol executed “beautiful”? How much “significance” does it carry? How about that pretty still-life my grandma painted in her studio? (My granny was a painter, by the way, and sure, I’ll call her an artist – but certainly not a genius.) And nothing she ever produced as an artist is “significant”.
How about Mr. McKai’s film Neu Wave Hooker? He sure did give it an arty spelling. And I’m sure it’s beautiful when you have your pants down around your ankles and you’ve just blown your wad all over your stomach and it’s time to grab the blast rag and clean up. And that’s all the significance it has.
It ain’t art, my man. Sorry. It’s a mastubatory aid, and that’s that.
With that, I shall now define pornography, cause, honestly, I have no idea what art is, but I know it when I see it…just like you have your art, and Eon McKai has his…anyway:
Pornography – anything visual or auditory that helps a fellah blow his load when he can’t have the real thing.
In fact, the second a piece of art helps you blow a load, it becomes porn, and it loses any and all artistic integrity it may have posessed.
Finally, I don’t “disdain” Eon McKai at all; I really have no idea about him as a person, although some of the talent I’ve shot that has worked with McKai have nothing but nice things to say about him. I dunno if he’s a genius, and, in fact, I’m not sure of anyone’s “genius”…but I think I know it when I see it. Or hear it. Or taste it. Or feel it.
Hope this clarifies things…and, I think, it’s time to bury this topic – at least on my blog.
Your pal – Billy
Suddenly, I Was A Suitcase Pimp…Kinda.
I’ve clocked four years in this business now. Which is a funny thing, cause I’ve had a lot of other jobs in my life – some would even call them careers – but I’ve never really stuck to one for more than three years.
Three’s always been a sticking point for me as far as work goes, and I have no idea why.
In the four years I’ve done this, I’ve never asked a porno girl out on a date – let alone take her to a swanky hotel for a few days or a Hawaiian Island.
There’s reasons for this, too…the one I want to talk about today is what I think I’ll call “The Suitcase Pimp Factor”. Maybe this isn’t the best name for it, but shit…it’s almost 1 in the morning, and it’s a Sunday, and because of those two things alone, I’m going with The Suitcase Pimp Factor.
(I think, even though I’ve defined “suitcase pimp” here before, and even though The Minion blogged about it as well, I’d like to state here and now, very emphatically, I’d never, ever ask a girl for a penny of her money. Never have, never will.)
Anyways, it’s a weird thing to watch a girl you’re dating having sex with different dudes for commercial purposes. (You can always count on an internet blogger to fancy things up a bit, huh?)
It’s a weird thing to know the girl you’re dating fucks for money.
It’s a really weird thing to have a porno star for a girlfriend.
I have to imagine it’s a really weird thing to have a porno director for a boyfriend; in fact, my past two relationships ended for pretty much that very reason.
Here’s where things get really, really weird – imagine dropping your porno gal off for a porno job. If you’re having a hard time picturing it, let me help you out a bit: you pull up to the place where the scene’s gonna get shot, and the dude who doubles as the owner of the site and as male talent comes out to greet you. He’s a nice guy – sure – but soon he’s gonna be pounding the shit out of her, as well as having Jayma swallow his load.
Jayma and I walk into the place together, hand in hand. My stomach is kinda doing that thing that happened to me in grade school…you know, when you had to climb the rope to the roof of the gym in PE class.
I just kept telling myself – over and over – it isn’t real.
Not Really real, I mean.
Did you read my blog yesterday? About “real” and “really real”? If not, you might want to skip to it now, then come back and finish up here.
Anyway, after the intro and all, I asked some techincal questions about the lights he used – not because I gave a shit about his lights – but more out of being a polite person and not just hauling ass after I dropped Jayma off. And, of course, after he talked to me about his lights (and his silly wireless mic) I did haul ass outta there – but not before giving my gal a smooch on the lips.
Easily the weirdest kiss I’ve ever experienced in my life – hands down.
I had an epiphany right there and then, as our lips touched: this is what I’ve gotten myself into, and it’s something I’ve got to accept – for the most part – if I don’t want to be alone. I’m in the sex industry, and pretty much anyone I choose to spend time with outside of my silly business is gonna have to be part of my silly business.
Anyone see the Showtime/Seymour Butts reality thing? I forgot the name of the show, but in episode one the cameras watch as Seymour plays the internet dating game, and, as always, “hey so what do you do for a living?” popped up almost immedaitely after the date started, and Seymour was brutally honest about his job.
And the girls fled. En mass.
At my brother’s bachelor party, we ended up at Sugar Daddy’s for a few rounds. It’s a local bar, and one of the ones we hopped to as the night went on. A girl made extended eye contact with me – more than once – and sure enough, she was interested. I went to talk to her, and she smiled, and we had a nice thing happening, when that same question came up.
“Hey, so what do you do for a living?”
I usually lie, but I was drunk, so I told the truth.
And the girl fled.
I couldn’t even get 1/2 through my response and she hauled fuckin’ ass. Fast. One second I was George Clooney, the next second I turned into The Elephant Man.
So, Jayma honey, gimme a kiss, and go make your money, and I’ll freak out a bit, but I’ll try to keep it to myself, and afterwards we’ll go get some dinner and maybe catch a movie. A scarey one.
Go make your money and I’ll make my money and we won’t give each other any shit whatsoever.
Go make your money and I’ll make mine and we’ll be OK with it cause that’s one of the rules of the Porno Game.
We’ll make our money and understand that none of this is fucking real and keep what is real private.
And she’ll understand why I won’t kiss her when I pick her up from a job…not for a while, anyways.
Kelly Wells. Kelly Fuckin’ Wells.
Take a look at Kelly Wells.
She’s getting choked out by one of the three dudes I hired to pound her for Blacks on Blondes. I say “one of the three”, cause honestly, I don’t remember which one actually did the choking. I think that’s Brian Pumper’s hand wrapped around her throat, but it might be Nathan Threat’s, too. I don’t think it’s Byron Long, cause that’s not his style.
I’d like to add Kelly is one of my favorites to work with, and, in fact, if you scroll down a bit or poke around my blog, you’ll see where I wrote about her recently.
I’d also like to add a few things here:
1) Kelly requested the good, old-fashioned choke-out session, cause that’s something she claims to be into
2) Nothing from Porno Land is real.
Oh sure, she’s getting choked out, and sure, her eyes are rolling up into the back of her hear like a pair of window shades, so I guess in that aspect it’s real. But we talked about the scene before hand, and the sceanario for the scene, and how she was going to get fucked, and how she was going to suck, and all that…so, in that way, it’s kinda staged, you know?
Where am I going with this? Well, I think even though things aren’t real in porn, they’re real, ya know? Especially if you’ve never worked in the sex biz. An outsider looking in, I guess.
I’d like to ask you a rhetorical question – do you think Kelly’s getting choked out? Or getting fingers jammed down her throat?
Let’s put it another way: it’s a lot like going to a strip joint, which I know you’ve done before. Suddenly, there’s a beer in your hand and a girl dancing in front of you, and it’s real, and she’ll grind the shit out of you, and blow in your ear, and damn that beer is cold and soothing, and she’ll whisper nice things to you, and sit and talk with you between songs, and ask about your life, and you’ll ask about hers, and bladda-bladda-blah, but in reality, she’s there for your 20 dollar bill.
And the next one.
And the next one.
And that’s it.
And when you’re out, so is she.
So, does that make it all real?
Did I ever tell you that there’s times when I’m rolling tape and have out-of-body experiences? I’m serious. It’s fucking weird. I’ll be shooting and thinking to myself this isn’t real and suddenly I’m on the perimeter of the set, watching me work, and thinking never in a million years did I ever think I’d be shooting porn for a living. And then I’ll think I’m watching two people doing something almost all of us see as the most intimate act we’ll ever do, and it’s really no big deal – cause it’s not real. None of this is real.
Back to Kelly. She’s doing things that many people consider obscene – and things you’ll probably never do in your lifetime.
Those fingers in her mouth? Real.
The spitting and choking? Real.
In a sense, I suppose. But really, it’s not real. Not that real.
Because at the end of the scene, everyone cleans up, and puts on street clothes, and walks into my office to collect their check for an acting job. Because, in the end, that’s the only reason Kelly’s on my set.
The only reason any of them ever come to my set.
So next time you watch a porno girl doing some filthy and despicable, remember, it’s not really real.
Not that real, anyway.
