Interview with a Pornstar

Interview with a Porn Star (#36) — Kylie Ireland

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Kylie Ireland

I Shoot Porn: I’m totally fascinated with the history of our business, and I love talking to people who have been in this silly game for longer than a few months…which is the average length of a porn girl’s career. When did you do your first scene, and who was it with?

Kylie Ireland: My first scene was in March of ’94, for Sin City, and the movie was Lil’ Ms. Behaved. I fucked Randy West, and I was really nervous.

ISP: And who got you that gig?

KI: I got it through a recommendation from Sunset Thomas.

ISP: Who is now a star on that reality show about The Bunny Ranch. Have you ever escorted?

KI: No I haven’t, and no I won’t. It’s just not my cup of tea. My naughty adventures stay in front of a camera.

ISP: Did you know Savannah?

KI: I never met her, but I was in the business for about 4 months before she killed herself. Want me to be truthful?

ISP: Sure.

KI: I heard she was cunty. I never knew her, but that’s what I heard.

ISP: Is Peter North cunty?

KI: Only if you touch his hair.

ISP: Who are your best porno pals?

KI: Ginger Lynn, Nina Hartley…but you know what? I’m kinda a loner.

ISP: Can I book Ginger?

KI: If you have a lot of money.

ISP: Will she do black guys anymore?

KI: Oh yea. She used to work with Sean Michaels all the time.

ISP: What did you want to be when you were 10 years old?

KI: I wanted to be a veterinarian. Then I found out there was a lot of math to be a vet, so I changed my mind.

ISP: What’s the difference between a porn star and a porn whore?

KI: Porn stars don’t really happen anymore. I’m in a small group of The Last of The Free Range Porn Stars. Who’s left, really? The Class of ’94 rocked! Me and Asia Carrerra, Misty Rain, Chasey Lain, Jenna…but she disappeared after that.

ISP: What do you think about Bree Olson?

KI: I met her once or twice, briefly. She’s cute as a button, used to be nasty as hell, seems like she has a good head on her shoulders, and hopefully her contract with Adam & Eve doesn’t make her Soft ‘n Fluffy. And I hope she doesn’t catch Contractgirlitis.

ISP: When did you figure out you wanted to be in porn?

KI: I was dancing in Denver at a place called The Diamond Cabaret. I was stripping my way through college. I was a broadcast journalism major, and one day a talent scout came to the club, searching for girls to do layouts in magazines. That’s how I ended up in New York with Julie Ashton. Julie’s the first girl I ever had sex with…before we were in porn! We went to NYC and did some test shots, and it ended up somewhere…but I can’t remember! Cherri…High Society. I don’t really remember! The photographer asked me if I ever thought about being in movies. He hooked me up with Sunset, and the rest is history. I really only planned on doing a couple movies for shits ‘n giggles, and the business wouldn’t let me go home. I packed it all up and moved to LA.

ISP: How did you come up with your porn name?

KI: Kylie cause I like the sound of it. My husband mighta thought it up. He was my husband at the time. I’m not married anymore. It was Saint Pattie’s day, and we were thinking of a last name, and we got drunk on Maragarita’s (they were green) and Ireland just stuck. After a few movies I realized it sounded like Kathy Ireland, which proves you shouldn’t pick a porno name while drunk.

ISP: What is your favorite fantasy, and the one you are most ashamed of?

KI: Oh Christ! See, now that I direct and own my own company, if I come up with my own fantasy, I live it out on film. As fas as being ashamed of anything, I’m so fucking perverted I can do it all: fisting, pissing, bondage…it’s all on my site. I’m always working on SlutWerkz. It’s under construction now, but you can sign up for the newsletter. It’s all about no-holes-barred-everything-goes porn with all-female directors shooting the hardest filth possible.

ISP: Like?

KI: Ginger Lynn, Katja Kassin, Nina’s gonna do some scenes, and I’m doing it. Julie Knight. Kimberly Kane. Oh…there’s so many more! I tell the girls to shoot whatever they want, and it’s really depraved, fucked-up shit. You wouldn’t believe what these girls are coming up with! Ginger’s the most perverted so far. Her perversions put mine to shame. I can’t even describe what she’s doing.

ISP: What profession other than porn would you like to attempt?

KI: Um, if I was going to do something non-porn, it would probably be radio.

ISP: You got a show on Sirius!

KI: It’s channel 198, and it’s a talk show and I encourage callers to call me with their dirty stories. I share mine, too.

ISP: What classes did you like in high school?

KI: English, Journalism, and History.

ISP: What ones did you hate?

KI: Math math math and math. And PE.

ISP: What’s the dumbest thing a director’s ever asked you to do?

KI: Picking up a black guy on the sidewalk.

ISP: Hey! We just did that!! OK…last question: ever feel exploited by being in porn?

KI: My personal motto is “Exploiting Myself”. That’s what it says on my ADT profile…Kylie Ireland, Exploiting Myself!

Kylie Ireland

stories from porno land (some amusing, some not)

Sawdust and Tinsle and Pepperscone’s Size 16’s.

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Igmar Bergman

The Minion is dead.

Doron Pepperscone is alive and well and is kicking all sorts of ass as my PA. He does it all, and does it well. I’m a lucky guy, and I don’t know what I’d do without him.

OK.

I got that out of the way.

Last night Gia Paloma — my make-up artist — stopped by to get her stuff. I was in the middle of my new obsession — Criterion Collection movies — this one being Sawdust and Tinsel, written and directed by Ingmar Bergman in 1953. It’s bad to the motherfucking bone. I totally identified with Ake, the owner of the traveling circus; he also is the guy in the movie who has a whore for a girlfriend.

My life closely resembles a traveling circus, filled with gypsies and whores and whores and gypsies.

With performers off all sorts hanging out in the periphery.

I’ve had whores for girlfriends, too…and trust me, having a whore as your chick isn’t as bad as it sounds, for the most part.

Anyways, Gia came to get her make-up stuff. “What stinks?” she asked.

I walked over to her and smelt it, too; the terrible odor coming from the travel room, where Katie Thomas and Spring Thomas and Barbie Cummings and Ruth Blackwell stay when they come to Los Angeles to fuck black dudes.

“One of those silly whores musta left some food in here,” I said. “It was probably Barbie, cause that’s the way she rolls.”

Which is to say she’s a total slob.

We searched Barbie’s food: under the bed, on the top bunk, on the bottom bunk, in the armoire…everywhere.

Nothing.

Then, down next to the bed.

The Shoes.

His shoes.

Doron Pepperscone’s size 16 Jordan’s.

I picked one up and sniffed it. I gently sniffed it, cause I was pretty sure the shoes were the culprit, and I was right. Even with the gentle sniff, I gagged.

Gia gagged.

We gagged together.

We took turns gagging…me, then her.

Her, then me.

My gags were kinda violent, and, more than once, I thought I was gonna barf…which is a pretty big thing for me, cause I haven’t barfed since 1982, after leaving a frat party my freshman year in college with a girl named Sharon who ended up being my girlfriend for about a week and a half.

After we took turns gagging, Gia got her stuff and left, and I watched the rest of the movie.

Igmar Bergman

stories from porno land (some amusing, some not)

A Brian Pumper Slumber Party

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Audrey Elson

I called my Ex last night.

It was the first time we’d really spoken since The Break Up, and no, you have no idea who she is, cause I’ve never blogged about her once. She’s a Whore for Porn, though, so you might know who she is; and, in fact, there’s a clue as to her secret identity somewhere cleverly hidden in this blog entry.

I may blog about our relationship in the future, but I’ll never mention her by name….well, maybe I’ll call her Miss Thang from now on.

I will say this: we started dating around the 4th of July, and we were together until the beginning of October. And, for the most part, we had a good time together.

I think it’s smart not hang all your laundry out to dry.

Anyways, last night we had a really nice talk. It started after my work day ended — which is usually 10 pm when I’m in LA shooting — and, by 1 am, we were still on the phone. So we really caught up with each others’ lives. I told her porno stories, cause that’s all that ever happens in my life anymore — and she told me about her new man.

“His name is Savoy. He’s a pick-up artist. He teaches guys how to pick up girls.”

“Guys like that actually exist?” I asked.

She nodded.

“Is he the dude on that TV show?”

“That’s someone else.”

“Guys with names like Savoy who teach dudes how to pick up chicks actually exist?”

She nodded. “And they get laid all the time. Except my man, cause we’re monogamous.”

Then she told me Savoy charges something like 75 bucks for his book, and two grand for his weekend seminars, and people really pay it, and after classroom lectures and lots of intensive note taking, they proceed to the “field” where their practicum goes down.

“They go to bars and pick up chicks?” I asked.

“They do. And it works!”

“Sure does. He got you.”

She laughed, and she admitted that Savoy’s Jedi Mind Tricks worked on her, and then we hung up the phone…and I walked out to let her in my studio.

Cause she lives across the street.

Cause she was coming over to smoke some dope with me and eat cookies and milk and watch late night TV.

Cookies and milk and Bubba OG Kush and Jimmy Kimmel and ex’es coming over at 1am don’t usually mix too well, but in our case, it did.

In addition to cookies and milk — which was mostly all me — she has some spinach lasagne from Trader Joe’s. I whipped it up all special-like, making sure to defrost it in the micro before I set the dial for Full Nuke. It came out quite nicely.

We talked some more and watch TV. She told me all about her boyfriend, who happens to be hung like a donkey and can shoot back-to-back loads, which happen to be as big as his dong.

Suddenly, I found myself getting turned on. She started telling me this story about blowing him in an elevator when I got a boner.

“Can I play with myself while you tell me about blowing you new man?”

“Knock yourself out.”

“Will you call me Savoy II while I’m jerking it?”

“Absolutely not.”

How pathetic I am!

How hot it was listening to my most recent ex tell me stories of sucking and swallowing her new dude!

What’s wrong with me?

I asked her to spit on my dick.

“Absolutely not. That’s cheating.”

“How can it be cheating when you’re not touching me?”

“Good point,” she said. “I’m still not doing it.”

I looked up at the clock, and it was almost 2 am, and I had a 9 am call time, and I need my sleep, damnit, so I put my boner back in my pants and walked her home.

At 3 am my phone rang. It was Brian Pumper. Nothing good can come from porno talent calling you at 3 am, so I didn’t answer. Pumper was the male talent for my 9 am scene, in which he was going to be paid to invade Nadia Style’s colon for the World’s Great Interracial Sex Site, Blacks On Blondes, but I just couldn’t deal with whatever it was he needed — or wanted — at three o’clock in the morning.

At 6 am my phone rang. It was Brian Pumper. Nothing good can come from porno talent calling you at 6 am, but with this second call, I knew something was wrong. I answered, mainly cause my eyes couldn’t see my LCD screen on my phone, and my brain was still in its night time fog.

“Dude, I’m outside your studio. I know you wanted me to be on time, so here I am. Plus, I was down town until late, and I didn’t want to go all the way out to the Valley then come back here, plus I don’t have any gas, and it’s cold out here cause I’ve been sleeping in my car since I got here 3 hours ago.”

Uh huh. I’m not making this up.

And I got up, walked to the street, and let him in, where I led him to the guest room, where girls like Katie Thomas and Barbie Cummings and Ruth Blackwell stay when they’re in town.

Back in my warm, cozy bed, I started to worry.

Is this some sort of joke? Does Brian Pumper want to steal all my gear all haul ass? Maybe he wants to kill me! Maybe bludgeon me to death!!

And then I fell back asleep.

Until 9 am, when my phone chirped. It does that when it’s put on vibrate mode, and there’s lots of people trying to get a hold of me. Sure enough, my female talent, my make-up artist, and my PA were waiting on me, cause I overslept…cause sometime either after Pumper’s first or second call I turned my phone to vibrate.

I jumped out of bed, got my day going, and now it’s 6 pm and there’s an ex-Marine at my door who’s about to jerk off and say things like “No Way Am I Gay!”

So I have to go work some more.

At least I’m pals with my Ex again…and yes, all you motherfuckers — including you, Miss Thang — can start calling me Savoy II, as of right fucking now.

Pumper

Interview with a Pornstar

Interview with a Porn Star (#35) — Jenna Doll

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Jenna Doll XXX Porn Star

I Shoot Porn: How’d a sweet gal like you end up in the silly game o’ porn?

Jenna Doll: Well, I sent pictures pictures to a while bunch of mainstream modeling agencies — and one porn agency — but I didn’t know it was a porn agency. The mainstream modeling agencies turned out to be scams, and the porn agency was for real! So, I went to Miami and got a job on Big Naturals! From there it was to Los Angeles, and here I am!

ISP: Isn’t it funny that the mainstream agencies were bullshit, and the porno agency wasn’t?

JD: Yea, they wanted money upfront and then they’d give you jobs. I paid them, and I didn’t get a single job. They never even called me after I gave them the money.

ISP: So, in other words, the mainstream folks fucked you more than we have! And do you feel exploited working in porn?

JD: Well, honestly, I’ve felt exploited after walking off a porno set.

ISP: Wanna tell me as much as you can?

JD: Well…let me see. I was told it was one job that paid a certain amount of money, and then when I got there, it was less money and something I didn’t want to do.

ISP: Can you be more specific?

JD: Well, it was a boy/girl scene for $1400, and it was payroll, which means they take taxes out, so it woulda only been like $800, and they wanted me to do two guys instead of one, and I was told I wouldn’t get my check for two weeks. Turns out my check didn’t come for a month, and it was for $1000 — not $1400. It doesn’t sound like that big a deal.

ISP: But you were lied to. No one accepts that. I’m assuming you did both guys?

JD: Yes.

ISP: High school — super duper fun or nightmare from hell?

JD: A little bit of both. 9th and 10th grade was good, then I moved a lot, so I was always the “new girl” after that.

ISP: I can’t help but stare at your enourmous fun bags. How big are those Bad Girls?

JD: 34DDD.

ISP: When did they sprout?

JD: When I was 13, I had C cups, and by 14, Triple D’s. They really sprouted between middle school and high school!

ISP: Can I suck ’em?

JD: No…but, I will say this…I had a lot of girls as enemies growing up…and all the boys loved me.

ISP: Tell us about any interesting, early experiences with sex. Like…did you have a “crazy” sex life before you got into the business? Examples: ever done a three-some or a gangbang?

JD: I didn’t do like threesomes or gangbangs, but I had sex in weird places.

ISP: Example.

JD: Let’s just say I wasn’t supposed to have a boyfriend, and I would sneak out and we would have sex on playgrounds, or in fields, or at school.

ISP: Craziest place you ever did it?

JD: I did it at the Great Escape. It’s an amusement park. We did it on The Mystery Ride, which was a room and every week the ride changed, so you never knew what the ride was until you got on…hence, Mystery Ride. It was always dark, and so, um…we didn’t go on the ride. We’d sneak off into a corner in the dark and fuck.

ISP: What was your first boy-girl scene like?

JD: I laughed a lot while riding the dude. I was scared. Plus, they put oil on me, and I was slipping all over the place. They kept yelling at me cause I was falling off this stupid stool they put me on.

ISP: They shouldn’t yell about that.

JD: They made me cry! They were so mean! It was my first time, and they expected me to know it all…it sucked.

ISP: What would I find in your refrigerator?

JD: Cream cheese. I use it on everything. Pickles….sounds kinda gross. Juice. Kool Aid. I love it. Strawberry Kiwi. Yum!

ISP: How can the fans contact you?

JD: I have a myspace.

ISP: What about being a porn girl has turned out different than you expected?

JD: I really didn’t know what to expect.

ISP: Do you like being in porn?

JD: Only sometimes. It depends on the directors and the guys I work with…basically, everyone around you. If they’re professional and organized it’s good.

ISP: Ever done any escorting…or, as they say in the biz, “privates”?

JD: No. I only have sex on camera. I have a fiancé.

ISP: Does he know what you do?

JD: Yea, but he didn’t know at first.

ISP: How’d he find out?

JD: I told him I was doing only girl/girl.

ISP: That’s what they all do.

JD: And then, two doors down from my house at home, there’s a girl who likes my fiancé. She hates me, and she found my Big Naturals scene. My fiancé was coming home, and she ran to his car with her laptop and showed it to him.

ISP: Did you wail on her?

JD: No. She even tried getting me kicked out of my house. She took the video to my landlords, and they’re old ladies, so they were gonna kick me out, but they researched it and found out porn is legal.

ISP: Wow. That’s Fucking Drama.

JD: Yea, it was pretty bad. She popped my tire the next day. But she’s eventually gone away.

ISP: You’re about to give a dude you just met a Manojob. How’s that make you feel?

JD: Honestly? Disgusting. I’m not really a slut.

ISP: Um…sure you aren’t, my dear. Uh huh.

Jenna Doll XXX Porn Star

Here's the Skinny on Your Favorite Star, random raves

Madison Scott

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Madison Scott

Madison Scott has brand-new titties, and let me tell ya, brothas…she needed them.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big Madison Scott fan. I’ve hired her as much as I possibly can, and I wanna hire her more. She’s a solid performer, whether she’s eating a whole bunch of ass or jerking a dude off or sucking a wiener — with or without her glasses.

Shit, we even took a trip to the gloryhole. It took a bit of cajoling on my part, but she agreed…and followed through with it, which scored big points in my book.

Porn whores don’t come in a much better package than Miss Scott — she’s an ex-high school cheerleader who’s petite and blonde and barely-legal.

Madison Scott’s only flaw?

The Titties.

It’s not about them being small. Trust me, no ones a bigger fan of the A-Cupper than me. And if you take a close look at them, they’re pretty damn nice. But she had her back arched, so they’re pert, and the room was cold, so we had nippage…but they just aren’t as flawless as her face, or her ass.

Howard Stern does a bit when girls walk on his set to be evaluated for a potential layout in Playboy magazine. It’s simply fantastic. If you don’t know the skit, the potential Playboy model parades in front of a panel of retards and misfits who evaluate her looks…down to each and every flaw, no matter how minor.

Or major.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard of one girl getting the thumbs-up from the panel, but then again, since I lost my Sirius Radio brain, I haven’t been listening much.

If Madison would walk into Stern’s studio, the only thing they’d bag on her about are The Titties.

Not anymore. Unless you’re not a fan of silicone fun bags, which I’m not. But I am a fan about people feeling good about themselves, and if it takes a set of fake titties to make it happen, then God Bless ’em all.

Now imagine the line around the plastic surgeon’s office if adding 3 inches to a dick was as easy as a boob job.

Madison Scott