Madison Scott has brand-new titties, and let me tell ya, brothas…she needed them.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big Madison Scott fan. I’ve hired her as much as I possibly can, and I wanna hire her more. She’s a solid performer, whether she’s eating a whole bunch of ass or jerking a dude off or sucking a wiener — with or without her glasses.

Shit, we even took a trip to the gloryhole. It took a bit of cajoling on my part, but she agreed…and followed through with it, which scored big points in my book.

Porn whores don’t come in a much better package than Miss Scott — she’s an ex-high school cheerleader who’s petite and blonde and barely-legal.

Madison Scott’s only flaw?

The Titties.

It’s not about them being small. Trust me, no ones a bigger fan of the A-Cupper than me. And if you take a close look at them, they’re pretty damn nice. But she had her back arched, so they’re pert, and the room was cold, so we had nippage…but they just aren’t as flawless as her face, or her ass.

Howard Stern does a bit when girls walk on his set to be evaluated for a potential layout in Playboy magazine. It’s simply fantastic. If you don’t know the skit, the potential Playboy model parades in front of a panel of retards and misfits who evaluate her looks…down to each and every flaw, no matter how minor.

Or major.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard of one girl getting the thumbs-up from the panel, but then again, since I lost my Sirius Radio brain, I haven’t been listening much.

If Madison would walk into Stern’s studio, the only thing they’d bag on her about are The Titties.

Not anymore. Unless you’re not a fan of silicone fun bags, which I’m not. But I am a fan about people feeling good about themselves, and if it takes a set of fake titties to make it happen, then God Bless ’em all.

Now imagine the line around the plastic surgeon’s office if adding 3 inches to a dick was as easy as a boob job.