I think I’ve told you this, but I watched my first porno when I was 14. Maybe 15. I think it was 1979. My best friend Biff had an older brother named Todd. Todd had a Super 8 projector hidden under his bed, along with a few Swedish Erotica titles. I remember Seka was in one, and John Holmes, and maybe Aunt Peg. They were 10, maybe 15 minutes long, and they were silent. Maybe they had sound, but I don’t think Todd’s projector had sound. Maybe the sound didn’t work.
Maybe Todd was so paranoid his parents would hear it – even though they were never home when it was “movie time” – he simply turned the sound off.
It was then I saw a girl take a cum shot to the face, and my brain just melted down. What in the world just happened? Whatever it was, certainly it wasn’t “natural”…and how much did they pay that girl to do something like that? Maybe they tricked her? Held a gun to her head?!
A few years later my pal Garry got the first generation of VHS players. What a machine! His dad paid something like 3 grand for the monster, and it had its own place next to the T.V., on its own shelf, and it was covered with a thick plastic cover – almost more like vinyl than plastic – to protect it from the elements.
Of course we weren’t allowed to touch it unless Garry’s dad was present. And no movies with an R rating…PG and G only.
We broke all the rules, right away.
My first trip into the video store with Garry resulted in the Sly Stallone / David Carradine masterpiece Death Race 2000. Garry had one other VHS – and to this day I’m not sure how he got it. His dad guided us through starting up the VHS player and properly loaded the casette, then he took off and told us not to touch anything until he got home. As his car drove away, Garry ejected Death Race and popped in – you guess it – a porno. I wish I could remember the title. I do remember what the final scene was…the scene to top all of them: the girl got butt fucked. Right up her pooper. A trip down Hershey Highway.
Was that natural? How much did they pay that girl to do that? Did they hold a gun to her head?
In the years to come, I remember a Ginger Lynn scene called “Dance of the Double Dong” which was maybe the first double vag scene ever caught on film; not too much longer I saw a D.P. scene and thought what the fuck is next?!; when I first saw a bukkake scene again it was oh my lord what in the world is next?!; on my first trip to Paris almost a decade ago I hit a porn store only to see beastiality, poopy and piss movies, and movies featuring 16 and 17 year old girls (the age of consent there is 16) and my skull just about melted – in a bad way. The internet has brought us such gems as Meat Holes, and Piss Mops, and most recently my partner B. pointed out the “Donkey Punch” booth at AVN’s.
Was that natural? How much did they pay that girl to do that? Did they hold a gun to her head?
Check it out – I shot this Mandingo Erin Moore Keani Lei scene for Blacks On Blondes. I mean honestly…isn’t Mandingo’s 15 incher enough? Do you really need guys with 20 inch dicks? And are those things actually real?
I’m not going to name the site, but I know girls who’ve worked for it, and they told me the truth…but still, to see they’re really fake is…a relief?
Shit, I dunno.
What’s next?
A stick of dynamite in her pussy?
A 1,000 man gang bang?
How ’bout the entire straight male population of a small state like Rhode Island or Vermont on a barely-legal in pigtails, sucking on a tootsie-pop? Shoot it at a Costco or a Sam’s Club…I think they’d all fit in there. In fact, have her shopping for tootsie-pops in a mini-skirt, then have her bend over to pick something up, when suddenly all of them come running out of the frozen food section just to fill all her tight teen holes.
And before you know it, that scene will be an old hat, too.
