Tuesday Cartoon Madness
Monthly Archives: May 2006
Hillary Scott and her Anal Woes
Six months ago I booked Hillary Scott for a Blacks on Blondes scene. She has the perfect look for that site; in other words, it’s a no-brainer.
She showed up on time – which has turned into a special treat for me. That’s right: “special treat”. I don’t think I’d ever have a job when, if someone shows up, they’d show up on time, and I’d actually refer to it as a special treat. But that’s part of this porno gig…when they show up, and show up on time, it’s a motherfuckin’ special treat.
“My pussy’s a little sore,” Hillary said, right after I introduced myself. “Do you think I could do all anal today?”
“Well, you know you’re working with BOZ The Animal?”
She knew.
“You know he’s packing about a foot of man meat?”
She knew.
“Well, then…sure! Let’s have an all-anal scene!”
And what a scene it was…
FLASH FORWARD: It’s January, and I’m at the AVN’s, and it’s after the show, and we’re at the Circle Bar at the Venetian, and me and my bro are watching Chico Wang run wild. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Hillary Scott walks up with Leah Luv. (They’re best friends). I say hello to them both, and they don’t remember me from shit, which is more typical porno girl behavior (I spent a whole day with Leah shooting her), but Hillary hands me her business card:
HILLARY SCOTT
PROFESSIONAL ANAL WHORE
which is an interesting thing to put on a business card and hand out to people, but hey…after her scene with BOZ, I’d have to agree.
FLASH FORWARD: It’s Tuesday, as in Tuesday of last week, and I’ve decided to book Hillary Scott, again for Blacks on Blondes, cause, well…it’s a no-brainer. She’s hot, and she’s blonde, and anyone that hot and blonde can come back to the site a second time. Plus, she’s added something new to her list of things she’ll do: double anal.
Double anal.
As in two guys stuff their weiners up her exit ramp at the same time, and then move them back and forth. Very fast.
I book her for 6 pm, cause she’s at Suze Randall’s studio all day, which could be a potential problem. Tired, cranky porno girls and Double A don’t go well together. I realize this booking her, but it’s the only time we can make our calendars work, and I really, really want this Double A scene. I don’t think there’s Double A anywhere at Blacks on Blondes.
I get another special treat from her as she shows up on time, and ready to work, but she does look like she’s had a hard day. This is why I have make-up artists on set.
She’s hungry, too, so I take her order and run to get it while she’s being made up: Taco Bell Nachos, cheese only, and a large Doctor Pepper. While she’s eating, I talk to Wesley Pipes and Weed, my male talent, while they’re shooting pool in the green room. It’s all small-talk, until Wesley asks me for a favor.
“Yo Billy man. Think you can write a letter to the judge for me?”
Turns out Wes is in some trouble, and he’s trying to get out of it, but things might not turn out in his favor. I ask Wes how I’m to handle talking about what he does for a living. I mean I’ve written these letters before – more than once or twice – and I’m not sure what to say about Wes’s chosen profession.
“Shit man, the Judge knows I’m porno!”
I agree to write the letter.
That’s about the time Hillary walks in, ready to go to work. In a nutshell, the scene goes off without a hitch, until we get to Double A, which, when I think about it now, is the biggest hitch to the whole scene. And, in the end, it didn’t work.
Hillary’s tired? Black guys dicks aren’t hard enough? There just wasn’t enough love in the air? No one will ever know. The scene still turned out, and turned out it did, and I can’t complain, even though there was no Double A.
All I’m left wondering now is how much longer Wesley Pipes will be around.
Tuesday Cartoon Madness
Super fun e-mails.
Face Blaster writes:
I Shoot Porn dead? Did you give up?
Dear Face Blaster,
I Shoot Porn is not dead…far from it. I just need breaks from time to time. It’s like my porno job; one minute I love it, and the next I hate it. It’s those breaks in the middle that keep me from jumping off the bridge.
In the meantime, check out Jayma Reed, the newest Spunkmouth girl. If you ask me, she’s got the look of a girl who would choose a career in porn last out of a list of things to do in her life. Know what I mean?
Let’s pretend there’s a list called “Things To Do In My Life”, and it’s in front of Jayma, and she’s asking us to help her fill it in. Now, she’s in college (about 1/2 way through), and looking for some extra bread to get her through school before she starts her life in accounting. So, on this list I’m thinking waitress/hostess, bar tender, hotel concierge, office staff, or maybe something like retail sales.
You know, the “normal” stuff.
Getting plowed by a black dick on camera wouldn’t make my list, you know?
I shot her last week on this kooky Egyptian set.
The scenario?
She’s at the museum, and she touches the artifacts, even after the museum guard tells her not to. Guess what happens to the bad girl? Here’s the (often funny) final twist: after she’s coated in the security guard’s jizz – the same security guard who’s promised her she won’t get in any trouble for fucking in the museum cause he’s the security guard and he’ll take care of everything if they do get caught – she asks, “how do we get me cleaned up and out of here?” but, of course, the security guard wouldn’t know, cause he’s not a security guard, but just this horny dude visiting the musuem.
Clever, huh?
Anyways, I’m going to try and knock out some writing today. Let’s see how it goes. And thanks for your concern, my face-blasting friend.
Your pal,
Billy
Gwen Stefani Topless
Boy, someone spent a lot of time in Photoshop.
Interview with a Porn Star (#13) — Jacky Joy
I Shoot Porn: So, today’s your first interracial scene. What’s going through your head right now?
Jacky Joy: I’m very nervous about how big they are.
ISP: The colored fellahs? You know that’s a myth, right?
JJ: Really? Everyone keeps telling me it’s true!
ISP: Well, they’re wrong! Anyway, how did you get into porn?
JJ: Exploited teens found myspace. It’s funny, cause I put that I was 14 years old, but I’m really 20.
ISP: So what the fuck’s up with the Exploited Teens guy?! He’s contacting 14 year olds to do porn?!?
JJ: Well, I say I’m 20 on there, but you have to read my profile. But that dude is totally freaky! He’s shady, he’s all about the girl, and he kinda makes me wanna barf!
ISP: Like all porn producers?
JJ: (laughs) Yea, I guess.
ISP: When you’re not in front of the camera, what do you do?
JJ: I go to college. I wanna be a pharmaceutical marketer.
ISP: You wanna sell drugs?
JJ: Yea, legally! Oh, I also strip. At Grandview. They’ve got a huge calendar of all the Grandview girls. It’s in Pocono, PA. Totally nude place.
ISP: So you show your BA-gina to everyone! Just like in your movies!
JJ: Yea, and dance. I love being a stripper. And I love being in porn. I think it’s funny. It’s ironic. You got a stripper that does porn. God forbid a stripper does porn.
ISP: What’s the dumbest thing a director’s ever asked you to do?
JJ: I was on the Bang Bus. They do that stupid thing where they run away from you at the end. And then people come up to me afterward and say things like “They didn’t pay you?” DUH! Of course they paid me.
ISP: You gotta boyfriend?
JJ: Yea.
ISP: Does he know you do porn?
JJ: Kinda sorta.
ISP: What’s that mean, exactly?
JJ: Um, I don’t tell him when I go to do a shoot. Then he finds my scene on the internet. Then I admit I to him what I did. It’s pretty shady.
ISP: Does he threaten to break up with you?
JJ: At first. Then I convince him I’m never gonna do it again. And he forgives me and says if you do it again, I’ll break up with you. He’s said that like 4 times now.
ISP: That rules. Wait till he sees your scene at Blacks On Blondes.
JJ: What’s it called?
ISP: Blacks on Blondes.
JJ: Um, I just hoping he doesn’t see it. Is it gonna be on the internet?
ISP: Um, yes.
JJ: (Sarcastically) Great. I can’t wait to go back to college. One person hears or sees it, and the whole campus knows. That’s how my boyfriend finds out.
ISP: Well, get ready…
JJ: Um, ok. (Nervous laugh). It’s just like Bang Bus. One guy from Williamsport, which is north of PA, found out, and suddenly the whole state of Pennsylvania knew I was doing porn.
ISP: That’s a lot of people.
JJ: Pretty much. One of my friends posted a link to see me. Then all my best friends found out.
ISP: And?
JJ: Some people call me a trashy, slutty whore. Others are like “Can I have your autograph?” One of my professors asked me for my autograph!
ISP: A Professor asked you for an autograph? What class did he teach?
JJ: Accounting.
ISP: What did you get in that class?
JJ: A C+
ISP: You shoulda blown him for the A.
JJ: Yea, really. I shoulda. My life is really interesting. I should have my own reality show.
ISP: That’s what all these nutty porno girls say.
Super fun e-mails.
Dane writes:
Hey man, big fan of your blog, I check it every couple days. The behind the scenes look at the porn industry is fascinating to me, more so than the actual films a lot of times. I jump right to the extras on most porn dvds.
Anyway, if you take suggestions there’s an amazing looking hotty named Miss Meadow whose myspace I found, and then scenes I bought, and she even replied to a few loser messages of mine. I think she could be great for your sites, and she seems up for anything other than anal, which shouldn’t be a huge problem for most of your sites.
As for the question, I’m a huge fan of porn star interviews and bios, ’cause I like to know a little something about the girls. Not personal information, I’m not a crazy sumbitch, but more to the point I like to know the girls are into sex in their private lives… that they might have a threesome or something on a Saturday night, as well as in front of the camera. It just makes the scenes hotter to me. When you post stuff like the recent Cherry Poppins blog, where you say she told you wild stories from her past, it wets my damn appetite! I can’t imagine a porn star would mind sharing, so let loose some info!
I know you’re selling a fantasy, but personally I like to know I’m watching a girl do something she might do off camera. I don’t think that’s too insane, and if it is, shit… it’s porn… I’m allowed to be a little freaky about it.
Dane
Hi Dane!
I know all about Miss Meadow, but at the time I saw her, she was repped by an agent I won’t do business with; then, like all of them, she disappeared.
I agree with you, too. When I was a porno consumer, I loved the BTS and interview scenes. More than the porno itself.
Funny you mention Cherry Poppens. I just got off the phone with her. For real. She’s in Florida, shooting for the Bang Brothers. She got in last night and hit the hotel bar, where she met a “cute” guy and another guy…appearently, just a normal Joe. And sure enough, she winds up in bed with both of them, naked.
Cherry’s gonna do an anal scene for the Bang Bros., and she brought a butt-plug with her to loosen up her butt a little. It makes the anal sex a bit easier. So she tells the Cute Guy that she’s a porn star, and what scene she’s gonna do, and then, in typical porno slut fashion, she pulls out the butt plug and asks if she can stick it up Cute Guy’s ass.
“Only if you do it first,” Cute Guy says.
Cherry looks over at Normal Joe, who really isn’t going for threesome – he’s happy just to watch – and she says “Gimme the lube!”
Cherry first.
Cute Guy second.
This is about the time Cherry turned Normal Joe into her “bitch”, which was just fine with Normal Joe.
“Where’s the ashtray?! Where’s my drink?! Gimme some more lube!!” – all while getting pounded by Cute Guy. They fucked until 6 in the morning. I’m not sure if Cute Guy still had the plug up his butt. I forgot to ask Cherry if he ever took it out. It wouldn’t surprise me if he left it in the whole time, to tell you the truth.
The irony here? Well, we’ve been shooting these insane scenes for the Spring Thomas site, which Cherry has PA’d for me, and they’re almost identical to what went down in her hotel room last night…except Cute Guy wasn’t black…and no butt plugs were involved.
You should check out Manojob, Dane, cause Cherry was one of our latest updates, and her scene ruled. Oh, And you’re no loser, brotha, just cause you wanna e-mail a porn star.
Your pal, Billy.
Tuesday Cartoon Madness
Devon Lee, Missy Monroe, James Franco, and Cherry Poppens
Interesting things seem to happen to me more in L.A. more than Phoenix, and I suppose that’s a good thing. Here’s a quick list of the fun adventure that was today:
1) Devon Lee shows up for her Blacks on Blondes scene, but first, we take the white van out the the Gloryhole. The Gloryhole was totally non-eventful, if you can ever call sucking a stranger’s dick in an adult bookstore a “non-event”.
2) The Blacks on Blondes scene after was more of an event: Joachim, the European porno bro, is in the U.S., so I booked him. Joachim is a strong performer, but you can’t really rely on him much for dialogue…that is, any dialogue in English. He’s getting a massage from Devon, and she flips him over right away for the happy ending kind of massage you get in those Jack Shacks; however, Joachim decides to fuck her as a few brothers stroll in to the scene. All three brothers drop a load on her face before Joachim finishes all over her BA-gina.
3) Missy Monroe strolls in a few minutes after we wrap. She’s bad to the bone. She simply exudes sexuality, even if it’s just in a pair of sweats and the wife beater she showed up wearing. We meet. I tell her I saw her at AVN’s in Vegas and wanted to say introduce myself, but there were about a million fans surrounding her, and that’s just not the place/time to do such a thing. Then we jump in the van and go back out to the gloryhole.
4) I decide I like the massage therapist scenario so much I do it again, but this time Missy “double books” two black guys, just so she can get her pussy double-stuffed with black dick. You read right: double vag…with black guys. Not that double vag with white guys is any easier, but it just sounds better when black dick’s involved, you know?
5) Cherry Poppens has been my PA lately. She’s also one of the latest Mano Job updates. But she wants to wind down from the porno scene, so I’m training her on 2257 stuff, and loading cameras, and meeting/greeting talent, and, from time to time, I even let her shoot scenes for my gay site: No Way Am I Gay. So this black dude’s there to shoot, and he’s a pretty small dude with a giant black ding-dong. Problem is, he can’t make it squirt, so we had to work around that problem…which is a pretty big problem to work around. But we managed.
6) We head out for dinner – me and Cherry – and I listen to her tales of adolescent misadventure. They’re pretty amazing, like most porno girls’ tales are, and after dinner we’re walking down the street when I see this dude who’s so handsome it’s ridiculous. He’s the kind of handsome even a straight dude like me realizes and thinks something like shit, that dude has no problem getting laid. He’s the kind of handsome that deserves a good industrial accident. So I point him out to Cherry and say something like, “we need to book him for No Way Am I Gay. He’d be good I bet.” I say it loud, so he can hear it, just to be goofy, and that’s when Cherry freezes in her tracks, squeezes my arm really hard, and bites her lip. Then she starts walking real fast, and pulls me along, as whispers in my ear, “Shit, do you know who that is?” I don’t, and she tells me, and she brings up the Spiderman movies, and I’m like “oh yea, I know” and that’s that, I guess…
But I knew it: he’d be good business for my site.
Aurora Snow in the Interracial Sauna
Aurora Snow’s a porn star. A pretty big one, too.
A long time ago she made the trip up the hill to Dogfart’s Secret Mansion for a day of fun & black dick. I wasn’t there, so I really can’t tell you much about it. I mean the Aurora Snow interracial sex scene shot in one of the bedroom’s saunas at The Mansion turned out very, very hot. That’s all I can say.
I remember being at the Producer’s house after they shot Aurora, but before I started working for him – and I was going through his (already) growing stack of 2257 info.
2257: it’s the Federal Law that mandates adult content producers keep paperwork on anyone who does anything dirty in a movie. It proves everyone appearing in that movie are of legal age, which, for the U.S., is 18. They’re kinda cool to thumb through, cause you see everyone’s real name, real ID’s, where they live…the whole she-bang. And not being in the business makes 2257 paperwork even more fascinating than it already is…so, needless to say, I was really flipping through those papers that day, snooping out everything I could: the best part being the girls’ real names.
“Holy shit! You guys shot Aurora Snow! I just saw her on something, somewhere!”
It’s true, I had…almost 4 years ago, and back then, Aurora was the new kid on the block. I had seen her, and now I was really seeing her…her true identity, that is. It kinda blew me away, to tell you the truth. It makes these girls real; I guess that’s the best way to put it.
A few months later I was at The Mansion, just starting to shoot, and everything was still fascinating. I’d meet the girls at the door, and walk them up to the bathroom, and get the something to drink…you know, just basically kiss ass. And that was good, cause S.S. and Justin Timberlakefeelsyourpain were already over it.
All of it.
Like I am, now.
Anyway, Aurora’s gone on to do some pretty big things – directing for a huge company just being one of them. She hasn’t been bookable for quite sometime…until just recently. My pal Joel runs an agency, and sure enough, Aurora showed up on his site. And I was over at Joel’s when Aurora came strolling in, and it’s funny…but I was kinda starstruck. Like in the old days. Aurora was one of the last girls I wanked to before getting into this silly biz (the other being Kacey), and here she was now, in front of me, and I felt like I did at that door at The Mansion three years ago.
Funny how things change.
Joel introduced us, and we chatted it up a bit, and she looks great, even though she’s not 18 anymore. (Imagine being in a business where 24 is kinda over the hill.)
I said something like “maybe we can work together sometime” and she said “yea, sure!” and that’s that. She walked away, and I sat back down with Joel, and we went over some more girls that I could book in the future for the sites I shoot. In an instant, it was back to business with Joel again.
Funny how things change.