Category Archives: What I’m Listenting To Lately
They’re a Band, and They’re On The Run.
Lilly Le Beau…and Wilco!
Black Angels — “Black Grease”
My iPod Kicks Your iPod’s Ass.
I’m serious.
Serious as a heart attack.
I’m so fucking serious, I’m gonna prove it: right this very second, as I convert Katie Jordan’s hi-def MP4’s to WMV’s for my awesome members (the ones who are still on a slow internet connection) at the world’s greatest hand job site — Manojob — I’m listening to Delroy Wilson croon “My Baby is Gone”. And even before I could type that last sentence, Wilson faded out and Serge Gainsbourgh’s “L’Hotel Particulier” from Historie De Melody Nelson faded in.
Since I can’t speak French, I have no idea what Serge is singing, but that really doesn’t matter, cause he does it so well. I’d bet it has something to do with a relationship that went south. Delroy just sang about that, too, and if you take a look at all the art that’s ever made, I’d say 90% of it is either influenced by — or directly concerning — unrequited love.
Ugh…what a hassle the conversion from SD to HD has been. It started with buying an HD camera and not having the post-production equipment to handle HD files. Oh, I thought I did, but that wasn’t the case at all. Toss in tax season, software issues, and a totally apathetic, overweight editor, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. Honestly, I’m still amazed I have any members at all. Speaking of The Editor, he spent a whole lotta time time figuring out how to lie to me about where he was going and what he was doing, so he could spend time with his girlfriend. In fact, I no longer refer to him by name, as he walked out on me without any advance notice after almost three years of employment…and without even offering up to stick around til I found his replacement. Citing “I’m dangerous to be around right now”, he handed me his keys and walked out.
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. And what’s that supposed to mean, exactly? I’m dangerous to be around? I mean…really dude? Dangerous? Just when we were getting back on track with the HD updates.
“Still the One”, by Orleans, is up now, and it reminds me of the Chicago suburbs, cause when I was a kid I’d listen to WLS AM-890. WLS was the place for all the bad pop that come out of the 70’s by bands forgotten almost immediately — for, example, Orleans.
A quick Google search turned up the following play list from WLS, week ending July 19, 1975:
1. “Love Will Keep Us Together” — Captain & Tennille (their old home is now a notorious porno shoot house).
2. “Magic” — Pilot
3. “Wildfire” — Michael Murphy
4. “The Hustle” — Van McCoy
5. “Listen to What The Man Said” — Wings
6. “I’m Not in Love” — 10cc
7. “Sister Golden Hair” — America
8. “Take Me In Your Arms (Rock Me) — The Doobie Brothers
9. “Please Mr. Please” — Olivia Newton John
10. “Hey You” — Bachman Turner Overdrive
(Elton John’s “Pinball Wizard” would have cracked the Top 10, but as noted on WLS’s list, it wasn’t available as a 45, so no dice.)
I was 10 or 11 and I lived in a foul place called Calumet City and at that time in my life I loved me some WLS radio. I also stumbled across my first porno: a paperback original called “Come Swim in My Hole” found in a dumpster as I was looking for beer cans for my super bitchin’ beer can collection. Which brings me to another total digression, but at that time I had a crush on a girl whose name I can’t remember, but she asked me, “hey Billy, do you listen to AM radio or FM radio?”
“AM! WLS!!” I said.
She quit talking to me after that.
Ah — the splendors of unrequited love!
The Los Angeles band Eels are highly underrated and need to be paid some more attention. “I’m Going to Stop Pretending That I Didn’t Break Your Heart” is proof.
Ah — the splendors of unrequited love!
And how about that? Back to back LA bands on random play: X’s “Johnny Hit and Run Pauline”.
I’m even surprising myself now with the Power of My iPod.
Johnny Hit and Run Pauline — the splendors of unrequited love.
I’ve got a newbie in the studio today. Her name’s Ameila Rose, and she used to go by Emily Rose. When I asked her if she got the name from the movie “The Reincarnation of Emily Rose” she laughed and said no, “but people used to ask me that all the time.” She’s the quintessential IR girl with her red hair and pale skin. The Blacks on Blondes fans are gonna love her. They’re gonna love the scene, too, cause I booked two pale-skin redheaded girls for a scene with Flash Brown. Ameilia and I are gonna head out to the newest, greatest gloryhole that was just discovered in an adult bookshop somewhere on the way to Rancho Cucamonga…just in case you’re ever headed that way, you might wanna poke around a few places and see what turns up.
The Scorchers — “Uglyman”.
OK Go — “Return”
The Smiths — “Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others”.
Jolie Holland — “Tiny Idyll/Lil’ Missy”.
All in a row, back to back.
Don’t ya just hate music snobs?
Do you give up yet? Go on — admit it.
I just got a text — literally seconds ago: “Metal Legand [sic] Ronnie James Dio dead at 67”. I worked security for a Dio show. I think it was ’85. The only thing I really remember is roaming the parking lot and coming across a dude finger-banging a chick who was passed out in the front seat of a Toyota 4-Runner. He was standing right outside of the passenger’s side door; she was spread eagle all over the front seat. The other Security Goon I was working with that night first spotted that hot, hot action, and we did our duty and rescued the damsel in distress. Usually, I hated working the parking lot shifts — especially at shows when I actually cared about the band playing that particular night — but for some reason I had no problem roaming the lot that night looking to bust dope dealers at a Dio show. Dio definitely wasn’t part of Sabbath at that point…or was he? And if you’ve been a headbanger the majority of your life, living to 67 ain’t too bad, I suppose.
There’s absolutely no Dio on my iPod.
There is, however, all of Zeppelin III, as well as some Foghat, a wee bit o’ Sabbath (circa ’71 or so (Sweet Leaf!)), and a whole lotta Wilco, yo.
But you already know that.
Come Together: Colleen Del Rio is Serena Taylor is Heather Summers.
My very favorite Beatle song is “Across The Universe”, but it’s not the one in the mono box, cause there’s no “Across The Universe” contained therein; forget about the version on the original Let It Be, too; you want to listen to “Across The Universe” off Let It Be (Naked). In fact I could go on and on about Let It Be (Naked), cause it’s my favorite Beatles album, and sure, Revolver and Rubber Soul and The White Album are awesome and probably “better”, but damn: “Two of Us” and “Dig a Pony” can bring me out of a blue funk anytime.
My very favorite Serena Taylor scene shows up on the world famous Manojob.com. She was still Colleen del Rio, and not Serena Taylor, and certainly not Heather Summers. This is a more lo-fi Serena Taylor, as opposed to the later hi-fi version, and certainly not the polished, audiophile Heather Summers.
“Come Together” coincides with one of my very earliest childhood memories, thus making it my second favorite Beatle’s tune. I was a kid, and I was sitting in the passenger side of a van. Whether or not it was a van isn’t really important. My Uncle was behind the wheel. It really was my Uncle driving, and he is important, because he was a big influence on what I listened to, and this particular memory musta taken place when I was 6 or maybe 7, and as I sat there in the van or car or whatever, and, as the 8-track of Abbey Road played, he defined “Toe Jam Football” for me. I just wish I could remember what he told me it meant.
Serena Taylor’s second handjob sceneis a real doozie. She works a huge load from Stunt Cock, and she’s more Serena Taylor than Colleen Del Rio…whatever that means. I mean I know what it means, but I’m not sure that clarifies anything up for you.
I dunno if you can relate to “In My Life”, but it really speaks to me, so I’ll chart it as my #3 all-time Bealtes fav: All these places have their moments / With lovers and friends I still can recall / Some are dead and some are living / In my life I’ve loved them all for Lennon meant Stu Sutcliffe. And for me? Hmmm. Well…I’ll just leave it at Spring Thomas. Oh. And Barbie Cummings. And Jayma Reed. And Adrianna Nicole. And Audrey Elson.
In addition to giving hand jobs, Serena Taylor is a dick sucker. But that’s as far as she ever took it. I guess that’s where she drew the line in the sand. There’s a few girls who play this game. Maybe “game” isn’t the right word. They’ll jerk and suck on camera, but no pee-pee in the V-Jayjay. Makenzie Wilson and Ashley Jane immediately come to mind. It doesn’t make much sense to me, but hey…whatever is best for you is best for you. Serena’s scene at The Dick Suckers rocks.
You’re gonna think I’m crazy, but I’m gonna stick “She’s Leaving Home” here, not really cause I think it’s the 4th best Beatles song I’ve ever heard, but because I can write about it. I mean in the sense that it brings back a distinct memory for me, this being the summer of ’77: I spent it at Grandma’s house, and she still had some of my Uncle’s 8 tracks there, and the one I played over and over was Sgt. Pepper’s while I built model cars in her basement. It’s weird, cause I never built a model after that summer. It was just something to do that particular time in my life, I guess. Granny drove me up to the hobby store, and I picked a few out, and I remember the one I worked on the hardest was a souped-up pick up truck that had beer barrels in the bed, and as I worked on it I really listened to Sgt. Pepper’s, and I could identify most with the girl in the song, mainly cause it was at the age I was starting to question my parents and their rules. Not that I’d ever run away…but still, it’s fun for a 14 year old to think about after getting in some trouble.
In addition to her trip to the Gloryhole, Serena Taylor having her glasses splattered in jizz is a real hootenanny. Isn’t it funny that Serena would never do a boy/girl sex scene, but she’s suck off an anonymous black cock through a hole in the wall? Or suck off two creeps until they rendered her reading glasses unusable?
Speaking of Sgt. Pepper’s, I gotta go with “A Day In The Life” to wind this down, and I’m not gonna say much, other than it really is in my top 5 Beatles’ songs, and, there’s nothing more I like to do that turn you on. After all, it’s my job.
MC5: Kick Out The Jams, Motherfuckers. (Or, the second best thing to come out of Detroit (after Audrey Elson)).
King Khan and his BBQ Show: “Waddlin’ Around”.
Tinted Windows, Redux.
Last week I caught Tinted Windows on Letterman, and when I watched them play on TV, I had no idea who they were.
Last night I caught Tinted Windows at The Troubadour; it was their second show…ever. (They played at SXSW last month).
You could make a pie graph from last night’s crowd: I was part of the Bun E. Carlos piece o’ pie, which included pretty much any middle-aged dork in the audience; Gia Paloma, my date, was part of the Hanson crowd — the largest piece o’ pie — which pretty much was any twenty-something girl crowding the front of the stage. The smallest slice o’ pie was the Pumpkins piece.
I’m pretty sure anyone who’s a Smashing Pumpkins fan will hate Tinted Windows simply cause of the Hanson brother.
MMmmm-Bop.
I don’t know what a Fountains of Wayne fan looks like, so they will represent not one single piece in my pie graph.
I love Tinted Windows cause of Taylor Hanson, but No Way Am I Gay.
I love Tinted Windows cause they rock…and No Way Am I Gay.
“I didn’t get bored once during the show!” Gia Paloma said while we People-Watched in front of The Troubadour as the crowd let out.
To which I replied, “Taylor Hanson wore white jeans, which means he’s a Power Bottom. I think that’s an unwritten part of the Hanky Code.”
“He’s married! He has four children!” Gia exclaimed.
To which I replied, “Then he’s a Closet Power Bottom.”
Gia and I walked into the place with James Iha. We aren’t friends or anything…I mean we just walked in the same time he was walking in, and I said hello to him, which is kinda silly, cause, like I said, I don’t know him, and I’m not a huge Smashing Pumpkins fan — but I kinda like them. I like James Iha now cause he was really friendly and he smiled as he said hello back…like he meant it.
On the way out I was hoping to run into Bun E. Carlos, but that didn’t happen.
Goddamn I love catching shows at really small venues.
Taylor Hanson sure did sweat a whole lot, which made most of the twenty-something girls squeal like they were 12 again.
Bun E. Carlos wore white gloves as he smashed on his kit; he’s also lost quite a lot of weight since his Cheap Trick days.
James Iha is kinda boring to watch, but he can play the fuck out of the guitar.
Since I wasn’t standing anywhere near the bassist, and I’ve never listened to Fountains of Wayne, I have nothing to say about him.
Did I mention I scored tickets to both Wilco shows at The Wiltern in June?
Woot woot!
Tinted Windows. Tinted Windows! Tinted Windows?
Last night I’m watching Letterman and I’ve self-medicated and I’m texting back and forth with one of my very bestest porn pals Veronica Jett; she’s depressed these days, and that kinda bums me out. I don’t like seeing people sad.
Then David introduces Tinted Windows.
I immediately recognize the dude from Smashing Pumpkins.
What the fuck is this? I think to myself.
I put my phone down.
I look closely at the lead singer. There’s something very gay about him. He looks familiar, too…but No Way Am I Gay.
What is it about that lead singer? I know I’ve seen that dude somewhere from my musical-listening past.
And is that even a phrase? “Musical-listening past”?
The bassist is unrecognizable…but that drummer. And the singer.
That drummer.
And that song. It’s very catchy in a way I almost don’t wanna acknowledge.
And that drummer.
Who is that god damned drummer? I wish Dave’s dumb cameramen would stop their zoom-zoom cameras on him long enough for me to recognize who he is…cause I know I’ve seen him before, and it’s obvious he’s not a young buck, and there’s really no “new” drummers running around in their middle-age…so stop the god damned zoom zoom cameras please!
Why is it television execs think zoom zoom cameras whilst bands are playing is so fucking great?
And that singer. He’s such a fag I kinda like him.
Who is that god damned drummer?
And suddenly, 2 out of the 3 came to me (I still couldn’t figure out the bassist), and now, I’m not sure if I have a new favorite band, or something I can make fun of until they go away forever.