Last night I’m watching Letterman and I’ve self-medicated and I’m texting back and forth with one of my very bestest porn pals Veronica Jett; she’s depressed these days, and that kinda bums me out. I don’t like seeing people sad.

Then David introduces Tinted Windows.

I immediately recognize the dude from Smashing Pumpkins.

What the fuck is this? I think to myself.

I put my phone down.

I look closely at the lead singer. There’s something very gay about him. He looks familiar, too…but No Way Am I Gay.

What is it about that lead singer? I know I’ve seen that dude somewhere from my musical-listening past.

And is that even a phrase? “Musical-listening past”?

The bassist is unrecognizable…but that drummer. And the singer.

That drummer.

And that song. It’s very catchy in a way I almost don’t wanna acknowledge.

And that drummer.

Who is that god damned drummer? I wish Dave’s dumb cameramen would stop their zoom-zoom cameras on him long enough for me to recognize who he is…cause I know I’ve seen him before, and it’s obvious he’s not a young buck, and there’s really no “new” drummers running around in their middle-age…so stop the god damned zoom zoom cameras please!

Why is it television execs think zoom zoom cameras whilst bands are playing is so fucking great?

And that singer. He’s such a fag I kinda like him.

Who is that god damned drummer?

And suddenly, 2 out of the 3 came to me (I still couldn’t figure out the bassist), and now, I’m not sure if I have a new favorite band, or something I can make fun of until they go away forever.