Category Archives: Guest Bloggers

Today’s Guest Blogger: The Minion (and His Chico Chronicles, Part 1)

Super Minion

From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

Which, at least for this entry, is somewhat of a lie. No one from Chico’s “camp” have really talked about Chico, so I asked The Minion to guest blog that very topic: Chico Wang.

I’ve hired The Minion to be my PA under the following circumstances: I call him by his first name, I try my hardest not to lose my temper with him, and that he shows up on time and gives me an honest day’s work.

It’s been almost two months now, and he’s helping me in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

When I asked him to blog his relationship with Chico, Doron thought about it for a while, didn’t really answer me right away, and now he’s sitting at his desk banging out his thoughts and feelings. He’s asked to do this in 5 parts.

We’ll see what happens.

The Minion is gone and no more.

You see, that was a persona of mine given to me by the late Chico Wang. Chico was also known as “Wanker Wang” and gave me my first break into the porno world. His death has brought up tons of feelings for me. I’m not going to sit here and pretend he was the nicest guy I ever met. No. He had his demons that I saw first hand and they were unforgiving.

In the next several days I’m going to take you on a trip through the last 4 years of my porno journey as relating to the times I was with Wanker. It’s going to be a fair look at the turbulent times that Chico and I went through and the shenanigans we committed.

Giddyup!

Today’s Guest Blogger: The Minion.

The Minion and The Sandman

From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

The Minion. Pro Wrestling. Being (and not being) recognized as a “porn star”. Can I tell you guys that in my Producer’s vault lay 100+ scenes of The Minion fucking the hottest new (well, they’re not so new anymore) Porn Whores? That’s right…all 350 pounds of him with his steamin’ 4 inch dick. I’ve been on set a few times when it all went down, and I gotta tell you…when this shit hits the net, things just won’t be the same anymore.

Stay tuned, my brothers — your pal, Billy.

We are all in the porn business and run the risk of getting STD’s, woodless scenes, and being recognized by the public. I was Chico Wang’s right-hand man for quite a while and he shot me with some of the best cum sucking whores out there. I popped my video cherry in November 2003 with Mason Storm. She showed absolutely no mercy as she sat on my face, ridiculed my physique, and urinated on me all in the basement of Boogie Nights 2.0. I knew at that moment that my life would take a different turn since G-d knows how many people would end up watching it.

Fast forward months after that and the Wang has me knee deep in pussy all the while he’s trying not to shake the camera too much from his constant laughter from girls beating the daylights out of me. No problem was to be had, except for the constant lack of wood on my part and bloated belly as a result of mass quantities of food involved.

Wait, I’m going to make a point here sooner rather than later. I knew I would eventually be recognized in public by those not in the “jizz bizz”. I was waiting for the moment I would be in a 7-11 getting some chocodiles or nachos with cheese (who only knows how long that cheese has been in that machine!) and being called out by some onlooker with words of, “Hey, you’re the Minion!” It’s happened only a few times and I want to document to you when it happened.

I’m a huge Extreme Chapionship Wrestling Fan — the ’92 – 2001 years and not the shit on tv now. When I was told of a reunion show that several of their alumni were holding in Philadelphia, I made plans to attend. Then the WWE announced they were having an ECW show entitled “ECW:One Night Stand” in New York 2 days after the Philly show. I made plans to fly out with porn mope, Manuel Laybor, and left Porn Valley for a few days.

Now picture in your mind the following: A Bingo Hall in a horrible part of Philadelhia, the same building at about 115 degrees fahrenheit, and 1100 screaming fans inside and you have an idea of what I was surrounded by. It was a fucking oven inside and I was sweating crisco. It was then time for intermission and I made my way to get some fresh air outside when these words stopped me in my tracks: “Dude………………you’re the Minion!”

I had to think to myself if I heard what I thought I heard. In fact, yes I did. I turned to my right and saw a guy with some of his pals and he had the same kind of smile a 5 year old kid has when you take him to the mall to meet Mr.T. I shot the shit with him for a while and all was good. Remember, I’m almost 3000 miles away from the comfort of Chatsworth and the marketing machine known as Chico Wang was able to get my face and name known on the opposite side of the country. I thought it was a fluke and left the building for a few minutes to get a cheesesteak sandwich that wasn’t so good.

It’s now Monday, the day after the WWE show, and I’m in JFK airport ready to come back home. Again, I get recognized, but this time it’s by a traveler and not a wrestling fan. He tells me he knows about the insane shit I’ve done on camera and whatnot. So in the course of 2 days I was spotted by 2 people on the East Coast and it made my trip better.

But New York pizza was actually greater than being recognized.

The Minion

Today’s Guest Blogger: Barbie Cummings (How I’ve Changed).

Barbie Cummings'

From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

Barbie Cummings. What can I say? I first met Barbie about six months ago when I booked her for Spunkmouth.com, and we’ve been friends ever since. I’ve shot her for JOMG, Eat Some Ass, Blacks on Blondes, and we’ve taken a trip to the Gloryhole; she’s also been on Manojob not once, not twice, but thrice. Some say she’s crazy, some say she’s hot…I say she’s a dirty, filthy slut. And that’s why I like her so; in addition, she gave me some pictures from her private life to post: the first is her first studio nude, and the second is a pic of her as a shooter girl, which she touches upon today.

I have to tell everyone reading right now that I was so very much excited about Billy Watson inviting me onto his blog. I am so excited about writing of all my lovely experiences, sexual escapades should say, throughout my life. “How I’ve Changed”… well let me begin with saying I wasn’t always a dirty whore. It started at a young age, a very young age that wouldn’t be safe to say on here, I will leave that to every pervy person reading this.

We’ll go by years, you can take it from there.

1986: Born.

2000: My first experience of all times. I, at the time, carried a nice rack of 34AA and wore braces. Me and my alcoholic, good for nothing so called mother went to a lovely, trashy tattoo parlor to get my naval pierced. We skipped a day of school, 9th grade to be exact, to what turned into finding the man that would take my virginity. I had all intentions on staying a virgin forever, because of course that would be the right thing to do. At the parlor we met a strapping man, age of 23. My mother flirted with him while I got probed in my belly button. My mother even took the liberty in inviting this man to our home later that week. Mike, Mike was his name. He wrote his phone number on a book of matches. I preceded to call Mike, not knowing what was in store. He came over later that week and took me to a shitty restaurant where we shared conversations about his school, his car, his life, etc.. We then went home to my house, where my mother invited him to stay the night. How exciting, a slumber party. We went to sleep, he asked me to sleep in just my panties and a white tank top, I agreed. I remember the feeling of laying there and the first time I felt him put his hands on me, I loved it. We had the black light on while he proceeded to slip his hand down my pink panties. He massaged my clit until my young, virgin pussy got soaked. I was a virgin but I was ready. I didn’t know exactly what to do so I did the same thing to him. I wrapped my hand around a cock for the first time and I loved it. He was only in boxers, but that didn’t last. He kissed on my double A breasts while finger fucking the tightest pussy he has ever encountered. There was no wasting time. My tank top was removed to reveal my young perky nipples and my panties pulled to the side. There was no asking, as he demanded me to get up, put one knee on each side of him and sit on his hard cock. It was a great size cock, in my opinion, about six or seven inches. I sat down slowly and boy did it hurt… it hurt so fucking good. I wanted more. I worked his dick, what I thought at the time, like a professional. I rode his cock, with my panties to the side until he came. You know the greatest part, this was a wonderful creampie! I was filled with cum and it was the greatest feeling ever. So… after that we had a few more sexual encounters, whenever I would get home from High School and my mother would have invited him over, nothing special. I later found out, not only was he fucking me but he was taking a turn on my mother too. How great is that? This all occurred when I resided in Peachtree City, GA. The days after my first experience I went out and fucked my very first black guy. I don’t generally admit to having experiences with black men before porn, because my former boyfriend would have flipped if he found out. So… since that is no longer here I am… I am openly admitting to have had 11 black sexual partners outside of porn.

2001: Not much later after my Mike experience I went to my very first party. I couldn’t drive, so once again my mother arranged for a ride from one of her lady friends who was also attending the party. I got to the party and everyone was at the least five to 10 years my senior. I was readily greeted by all the old men and offered my very first shot of liquor. I remember it was Tequila. I was given quite a few shots and I took them, just like all the big kids do! I ended up vomiting to the point where I thought I was going to die. I was drunk I remember removing my pants in the house with 20+ grown adults. I refused to put them back, there was no stopping me. I then decided I would lay down in the spare room. All I remember is waking up with two men coming in. I was eager to see what they wanted, it was no question. They were friends, I am assuming they knew each other, I have no clue what there name were. The took off my clothes and stuffed my mouth with their cocks. They decided to take turns making my a filthy whore. They tagged out as each one fucked me as hard as they could, I loved it. I can also recall that each one wanted me to punch them in the face while they spread my legs and filled me cock. I hit them, I hit both of them as hard as I could. It only made the fuck me harder. They came, they came all over me. I swallowed every drop that got in my mouth! They left. Thats not all. In the same night, maybe 30 minutes to three hours later a different man came in. I let him too have his way with me. He made me eat his cum. He left. Then again, another man followed… maybe they were drawing straws in the living room, but I didn’t care I loved it! He came in he fucked me, he filled me with cum. He fucked me one and two more times, all in which he filled me with cum. He left. I woke up the next day with a lovely headache and a cunt filled with cum. By the time I made it home, my panties were filled with all the cum I had been given and my mouth reeked of sperm!

2002: By this year I had turned into a filthy whore, which at the time I didn’t see anything wrong with. Wait… to think of it, I don’t see anything wrong with it now. I was into some legal trouble this year, already attending an alternative High School in Fayetteville, GA. I had been kicked out of school for fighting, I earned a simple battery charge for that. (She deserved it) I was given weekly drug tests. Well one week it just so happens that some how I failed… I should have studied! So, I was instructed to go home by my probation officer, and I was told to wait there. I was scheduled for court in the morning to be given my sentence for failing that damn test! Violation of Probation. Not me, I wasn’t going anywhere. There was a cop that drove by my house every hour from 10:00am until about 5:00pm. In between his drive bys I filled my car with clothing and shoes, I was leaving. After he drove by the last time, so did I. I drove straight to my friends house, C.C. was her name. We were leaving. We drove that night, from Peachtree City, GA all the way to Baton Rouge, LA. We got there that night, late and at the International House of Pancakes. Where we in fact met two lovely men, older gentlemen. They took us under their wings. The very first night, was introduced to Ecstasy. I had the very best sex, with the very best stranger. Me and my friend C.C. shared these two men. These two men had their way me the both of us anytime and as often as they pleased. I loved it. We ended up moving on to other men during our three week trip. There was one we met at the gas station, I thought he was so attractive I gave him oral pleasure in his car, behind the gas station. I don’t remember his name, I don’t care. I later got caught, when pulled over for a speeding ticket, and was escorted all the way back to the Macon Youth Detention Center in Macon, GA. I served my four months and moved on.

2003: During this year I gave up on one night stands and explored that of what was referred to as “cuddy buddies”. I had lots of cuddy buddies. The one that sticks out the most in my mind is Jake. Jake only preferred anal sex. He introduced me for the first time to anal sex. The only way we had sex was in my little virgin ass hole, I loved it. He also was the first to video tape me. He would video tape me while I sucked his dick, as he sat in the chair in front of his computer. He lived in Atlanta, which was about a 35 maybe 45 minute drive. I would drive to his apartment about three to four times a week to take his big load in my ass hole. Sometimes we would have anal sex up to six times a night. The best part is that I got a girlfriend of mine, my very best friend at the time, Nicole to go and experience this lovely man. He fucked her in the pussy while I watched and video taped. We loved it. I moved to Knoxville, TN.

2004: Now, living in Knoxville, TN I was determined to calm down. I didn’t. I met a man my very first month living in Tennessee. His name was Eric, he was a car salesman, he was great. He took me to his apartment the first night I met him. We cooked chicken and watched basketball. I told myself it wouldn’t be sex on the first night, I lied. We had sex five times that night. His cock was the biggest cock I have ever experienced in my life. He was mixed, his mother white, father black. He was hung. All I remember was him laying me on my stomach and putting my face into the pillow as he hurt me with his, at the least, 10 inch cock. It hurt so bad. I loved it. He too creampied me. He creampied me for a few months. Then it was onto the next.

2005: This was a great year. I started working at a bar in what is called the Old City, in downtown Knoxville. I was a shooter girl. I walked around in close to nothing, gave men lap dances and shots of liquor from my own mouth. Everyone who worked at this club “partied”. I partied with them. The greatest night had to be, and I remember the exact date, December 17th. It was the Christmas Party. Oh, I need to mention the whole time I was working there I was having sex with the manager, Manuel. He was a married man, but no one knew. I only fucked him when I worked. He would take me in the back of the store where all the liquor was kept and bend me over the table or up against the wall. I was creampied every time. Back to the Christmas party. There was a stripper hired, she was sexy. I decided to join, it turned into me eating here pussy in front of everyone. I let he keep all the tips. We then headed to the club across the street to a dance club where I danced my ass on stage. I danced with my new addition of breasts, now a 34D, hanging out and my skirt up. I went with my friend that night, Charlotte. We were approached by two gentlemen. I don’t remember their names. They offered each of us 200$ to have sex with each other, while they watched. We agreed. We licked each other and finger fucked each other in this mans apartment while each one watched. We even allowed them to put a finger in, here and there. We then gave each one a lap dance, over their pants we grinded. We grinded until they both came. We left. Charlotte went home, I went to my friend Andrea and Brads apartment. We had a threesome. I got fucked by her boyfriend while I ate her pussy. He came three times, it was great! He had me bent over, on my knees fucking me while I ate her pussy. He came in me. He drove me to where my car was left in the parking lot of the club I worked at. Well, how coincidental, when we pulled out, the owner Manuel and his lovely wife. This was a great opportunity. They jumped at the opportunity when I offered to have sex with both of them. We all three went upstairs in the club, in the office and disrobed each other. I ate her pussy, just like I had earlier ate Charlottes and Andreas! He fucked me. When he fucked me his cock was hard, when he had fucked his wife, he couldnt keep it hard. Her pussy isn’t as nice as mine. He came. They left. I was too tired to drive home and was left to sleep upstairs on the sofa, in the office. I slept and went home the next day.

2006: This is the year I discovered the world of pornography. I was approached on my personal MySpace account, which I later made one for my porno career… My Barbie Cummings MySpace account.. I was asked I had every considered in working in the adult industry. I said no. I hadn’t ever thought about that, ever. Six weeks later I was in Los Angeles for the very first time. We went to AIM, where I was tested for STD’s, and then we went on “Go See’s”. These Go See’s consisted of meeting producers, porno producers. My first scene was set up when a producer called my agent, because the original girl he had booked didn’t show up. My first scene was a Double Penetration. It was a for a movie, “Internal Discharge #3”. I took two dicks at once, one in each hole for the very first time. It was great. I straddled John Strong while Brian Surewood probed my tight ass hole. They were both creampies! I loved it.

2007: It is still earlier in the year but I recently had a wonderful experience. I got to fulfill one of my ultimate fantasies, and I got paid to do so. I was paid to put a big strap-on on and make a man bend over at take it in his ass hole. He loved it. I will fantasize about this experience when my lame boyfriends at home do their best to fuck me. I will cum thinking about the look on his face when I made him take it.

Well… I am headed home in the morning, headed back to Knoxville, TN. I hope you enjoyed my life, if you don’t… well, I don’t care. Mwah! xoxo…Barbie Cummings.

Write me! Barbie_CummingsXXX (at) yahoo (dot) com!

Barbie Cummings'

Today’s Guest Blogger: Makenzie Wilson (More Reflections On Porn).

Makenzie Wilson

From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

Makenzie Wilson has been a guest blogger here more than once, and she always has interesting things to say. She’s still in the porno game, although not as much as she once was…and guess what? From the sound of this entry, I’d say she misses it. Imagine that!

I’ve been thinking, a lot lately, about life, what I ultimately want to do, what makes me feel like I have a purpose that is rightfully fulfilling to not only myself but helpful to others/the world simultaneously, and it’s made me a little kooky. When I was in the porno biz, on a more regular basis anyway, I didn’t really think too much about any of the realities of what lie ahead, either professionally in terms of book-work or in the fun, sexual, downright best job on the face of the earth that I had at that point in time. I honestly think I can say that I went through school, and life, a little ‘asleep’. This makes me sad, because I miss the protective wing of college and having to worry only about studying, passing the tests, oh-and who I was going to stay with the upcoming weekend when I would visit Porno-ville for more dough and good times. I had no care in the world, and I was blind to that.

As I’ve finished school, and slowly (and VERY sadly) drifted out of Porno-ville and more into a career, I’ve been struggling with my identity and what I want to make of my skills and abilities. I feel like I have so many of them that to limit myself to one forking job is just ridiculous, and will get boring fast. This has lead me to think a lot more about porn, and all that comes with it. Remembering the great trips I had to LA, San Juan islands, Malibu, Florida, all the wonderful people I met and connected with on a personal level, all the bullshiitake I had to deal with (“What? I have to get it on my face?!” or “Shoot is cancelled? UH!”), and all the money I amassed (yes, it is still saved and put away). But more than that, I think about who I became in the process. I developed sexual skills that most people only dream of, I was taught by ‘the best’, and I even had my hand held through most of it AND I got paid! I really had to dig deep into myself at times, and question not only my own motives, but my strength of not only character, but ability to listen and trust and get hurt but get right back up and start a new day.

I still dabble in and out of porn because, well, for all of the above reasons, but yes: I can now say with confidence that it is addictive. Easy schedules, easy money, the funnest times of your life (sometimes), sexual experiences that are safe, meeting new people, being at the epi-center of fame in the country, and, well, maybe being a little bit famous myself. I love attention, and sometimes I love myself enough to let myself bask in that attention. Sometimes people’s nasty comments would get to me, but I eventually came to the point I am now and can take the advice of a former photographer, “Who are they to judge YOU? Look at their pitiful, boring lives, fuck THEM!” Damn straight.

The days I go in to my part-time job, and practice what I’ve learned in school, I can’t help but be a little bewildered at all the stupid shiitake that goes on: people backstabbing each other, people wasting up to 50% of their days on the internet, talking with co-workers, reading magazines, etc. It’s just such a crock I can’t get over it. I just want to scream, “9-5’s are bullshit. Do what you need to in 4-6 hrs and go the fuck home.” Unfortunately it’s not that easy. Downtime is usually present, and then you have people scrambling trying to figure out WTF to do to look busy while no one else does. Oh, and then you have the people that want to stay a mere 2 or 3 minutes longer than you on the clock because they think it makes them look more dedicated. Puh, I prefer not to go to my grave saying I wish I’d of spent more time at ‘work’.

At any rate, this has brought me back to thinking about porn, fantasizing about how to get back in given all the limitations I previously bestowed upon myself, but meanwhile freaking the fuck out because at any given moment, someone could notice me and destroy my reputation (if it hasn’t been already). I know there are several ways to still be in it, without having to be a fucking-Queen machine, but I need someone already in it that’s willing to help me out. I don’t have that, YET���

So I guess now I’ll stick to my part-time job where I work with the most arrogant piece-of-shit doctor who thinks he knows everything, and girls that talk about people so much behind their backs that I have no reason to believe they don’t do it to me. And all the while I will keep dreaming about my past porno life, and how I could, at any point, get right back in.

~Mak

Makenzie Wilson

Today’s Guest Blogger: The Minion (on Jewel Denyle’s Mom )

Super Minion

From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

The Legend of The Minion hasn’t really made its way out of Porn Valley, but someday his site will be up and he’ll be a household name across this fine Nation.

Lately I’ve been reflecting on the whores that were supplied to me courtesy of Chico Wang. It seems that my tiny, circumcised pecker entered most new gonzo chicks from 2004-2006. There are some I don’t even recall. However, one that sticks out the most is the one I did With De’bella.

She met me at a party a few days earlier that Chico Wang also attended. She asked to shoot for him and he volunteered my name to be the dick she was to milk. I was intrigued seeing as how she came into the business at the ripe old age of 50 and her daughter is Jewel Denyle (a whore I’ve always pulled my pudd to). Also, this was to be my last internet scene since I’ve clocked in at least 150 or so.

The setup: I am a talk show host interviewing De’Bella complete with an audience of the “who’s who” of porn: Will Powers, Brian Surewood, Haley Paige, and some others I can’t remember. I give a short monologue and she comes in. I ask her some questions (which escape my mind at the moment) but she was on her knees in a matter of seconds. However, what would a scene with The Minion be without some baked foods for abuse? She proceeded to stuff my ass with cupcakes for her to fish out with her early bird breakfast tongue.

We were going to fuck but apparently menopause hadn’t quite kicked in yet so we went for my cock to be in her mouth the entire time. Think about the following positions in your head as you eat dinner: I has on all fours as she ate frosting from my crack, I was on my back with my legs raised up as she dug for cupcake heaven in my ass. The entire time the audience howled in laughter since this was not something you’d see on Leno, Letterman, or Conan. Of course, several puns were used at the expense of those she knows.

It was now time for the pop shot and she gave me some wicked “me time” and then she received the goo in her mouth. It was a shining moment and I wish I had photos of the mayhem but it’s a scene that will live in infamy. She was a class act the entire time and sucks a mean dick.

Jayma Reed on Her Cum Guzzlin’ Pal Jacky Joy

Jacky Joy

From time to time I’m going to have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

I think you guys know who Jayma Reed is, and how great I think she is, and bladda bladda bladda blah…and if you don’t, well, dig into my archives and read all about her wonderful self. Today she waxes poetic on her (and our) slutty truck stop whore pal Jacky Joy.

So… doesn’t my friend Jacky Joy look really happy to be eating some hairy ass? In fact she looks so thrilled that even her hair is trying to back away from the butthole. I can’t help but laugh hysterically when I see this photo for two reasons–#1) I’ve worked with Jacky since she started in the business and I know that she is a full blown diva, who wants to blow up like Jenna Jameson, and, #2) her dreams of stardom are somewhat stunted by her hate for cum, cum swapping, buttholes, pussy juice, and anything else that drips or oozes out of the human body.

I have to say that I LOVE my little Jacky Joy! She kicks ass (and apparently, eats it—in fact, she even ate mine, but that’s another blog). Jacky is ghetto fabulous and she’s from Pennsylvania. She has a deep rooted love for text messaging and calling her very best friends “dirty pirate hookers”. Jacky and I like to work together doing girl/girl scenes. I am not sure why she likes to work with me, but I enjoy her porn partnership because she is 5’2, 115 lbs, has big innocent blue eyes, and she dominates my shit (I’m 5’10 by the way). Jacky throws on a big black strap on and, all of the sudden, she’s a sex addict on viagra.

So picture this—Cute little Jacky Joy, swingin her big rubber dick back and forth, dancing around till her big, fake balls fall out of their satchel. It’s hard to keep a straight face, but somehow we pull it off. Another thing I love about my slutbag friend Jacky, is that she and I are a little lesbian porno couple when we’re together. Billy already blogged about our beach adventure, but what he didn’t tell you is that she likes to pull my skirt up in a crowded room, or grab my va-jay if she catches guys checking us out. She likes to fight with the guys I date and asks to take pictures of me masturbating to send to her friends back home.

I’m going to change gears for a second and say that Jacky is one of my favorite people and I miss her! I’d also like to add that Billy and I are in Maui and I’ve teased him silly since we got here—but I’m sure you’ll hear all about that:) mmmmmwah! xoxoxo Jayma

Jacky Joy

Today’s Guest Blogger: The Minion (on Suitcase Pimps)

Super Minion

From time to time I’m going to have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

I think The Minion is the best-kept secret west of the Inland Empire…you know: all the lovely places that make up San Bernadino and Riverside county. I remember a porn whore once telling me she’d make regular trips to Riverside to score meth. Anyway, today The Minion defines, outlines, and comments upon The Suitcase Pimp.

Imagine you are a porn director and the following has fallen into place nicely: The female talent is locked in as is the male talent, the location is ready, your set is stocked to capacity with enemas and douches.

All of a sudden the whore shows up with her boyfriend/husband and you think that they are just dropping her off. However, the chick tells you that they are adamant about their suitcase pimp being on set.

A “Suitcase pimp” is a guy whose porn girlfriend/wife supports him, and all he has to do is make sure she gets to her sets with the necessary items. So she tells you he must be on set for whatever godforskaen reasons.

One of the first things you learn in porn is, “It’s a director’s set.” Whatever the director says goes.

So your faced with this dilemma of possibly having one extra person on set when it’s not needed. You have to understand how frustrating it is to film a whore getting fucked and then suddely having her eyes wander off to her man who is a few feet away. It takes away from the scene and is irritating as fuck. Take into consideration that most cameras are sensitive as fuck and most noises will be picked up by the mic. So then again, the possibility that it will pick up a slight cough or cell phone going off is greater.

In hindsight, I envy and fell bad for these guys at the same time.

I’m envious because their meal tickets are the whores we yank our meat to.

I feel sorry for them because they can’t seem to land a legit job and are doomed to a life or making sure their woman’s bag is packed with enemas, douches, and their current AIM test.

So make yourself useful and do a Starbucks run for us all.

(I’d like to follow up on The Minion’s wise words: I think he’s described the “newbie” Suitcase Pimp perfectly; there are other, more seasoned suitcase pimps, who have become, for lack of a better word, Stay At Home Suitcase Pimps. They’re kinda like the Mr. Moms for the Suitcase Pimp world. Wisened to the bone, they clean, and cook, and wait around for their Bread Winner to come home, usually while maintaining some sort of “freelance” job.)

Today’s Guest Blogger: Mackenzie Wilson (yet again)

Makenzie Wilson

From time to time I’m going to have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

My pal, Mackenzie Wilson, comments on her work for ManoJob. And if you click on her picture, you can check out her blog, too!

I don’t think I’ve ever felt 100% confident of my acting/modeling abilities in the 4 years I’ve been in the biz. Tag on all the little bodily insecurities to the fact that I was totally new to screwing, bisexuality, everything porno, sex toys, the whole sha-bang, and you’ve got one naïve, scared little girl that is just trying to become a semi-famous model and make a few bucks along the way. I had no idea what talking dirty even meant! Sure, I gained a lot more confidence by the 3 rd or 4th G/G shoot, but I was still uncomfortable just letting go and really getting into it. I even needed instructions how to masturbate. Haha, yes, I know you are all laughing.

As of this past Sunday, scratch that! I filmed what turned out to be, hands down, the hottest shoot I have ever done. Now, I do not mean hot as in the fact that it involved a lot of sex, multiple bodies, dual masturbations, toys, etc. None of the above, in fact. By hot I mean I have never felt as into and confident and real as I felt in this scene. I can’t even begin to describe what was going on in my head and my body. Oh, BTW, it was for Billy’s (whom I’ve mentioned before) co-owned website, www.manojob.com.

I’m not going to lie: I started off a little whiney. “Ugh,how long is this gonna take?” My buddy Billy, the pornographer shooting it and doubling as talent, said, “Not long, maybe 15-30 minutes. Cmon, you gotta work for your money!” LOL. A whole 15 minutes, yeah. Thats forking awesome, not really work, I know. First we had to take the stills so we didn’t interrupt the scene in the middle of it (like a lot of bozo photographers that are still learning do). I was still antsy. 80 stills? God damn. Hurry this thing UP! But in the middle of it by about the 20-30 th pic, I started to get turned on. I just felt SO good about my body cause I’d lost a bit of weight the week before, and I just knew I looked hot, which I hardly ever do during shoots. I usually feel like a huge disgusting pig when I catch a glimpse of my stomach, no matter how flat it might be. Not this time. I put on some make up, had my cute-little-girl look going on with some fun gym clothes, and I was ready to go.

So, then Billy gets the cam and runs through the scene.

“OK, heres how its going to happen. You’re going to introduce yourself. Seduce the camera a little, do a little striptease to get your clothes off, and then start workin’ it. I’m not going to talk much ’cause guys don’t like much mumbo jumbo from the dude. They wanna hear the girl. So, just talk really, really dirty. Tell me how much you love strokin’ it, talk about how you do it, and that you think you’re the best. Tell me stories about when you’ve jerked other guys. It’ll be a good 15 minutes of footage.”

“Uh, I’m not good at talking dirty! I suck! What am I gonna say for 15 minutes? Damn, this is hard.”

“No, its not. You’re a fucking pro at this, you know you are!”

“Yeah, OK. Ready!”

We start filming, and it hits me as soon as I say, “Hi, I’m Makenzie Wilson, and I’m the newest girl on Manojob.com. I heard it come out, and the only thing I could think was, ‘God damn! Was that ME? That sounded SO HOT. From that point on, I was totally, 100% into it. As I went back and forth from camera to myself, I positively made love to that audience. Everything about it was real. The whole time Billy was in the background, tickled pink and making faces like, You are rocking! This content is going to be the SHIZ-NIT. When I watch the trailer, the only thing I can think is, ‘How in the hell could there be any other girl as young and cute as me looking that good doing that?!’ I felt like a fuck animal.

As he was getting ready to pop, I agreed to let him get a little on my cunny. And again, OMFG, that was the hottest pop scene I’ve ever both been in AND seen. It was hilarious. As it got on my cookie, we were both sitting there freaking out about how hot it was. Billy is all, “OMG! Dont move! Gimme the camera! Over there!” I’m laughing and giggling so hard that I don’t think I can move! Don’t you just LURVE that picture of it? I DO! Incredibly hot.

After it was over, we were practically high on ourselves. We could not stop talking about how perfect everything went, and that that content was going to rock the site. So, wanna see it? Sign up! I don’t give freebies J

I hate to bring gloom and doom, but you guys may as well never expect a better report from a shoot than this one. I said it once and Ill say it again: this was the hottest EVAR and there is little to no chance there will be another up to this par. This is my favorite pic, my stomach looks so taut.

Ok, all the males in the house, who’s jerking off already? Hehe.

XOXO,

Mak

Today’s Guest Blogger: The Minion (a mope is a mope is a mope)

Super Minion

From time to time I’m going to have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

Fourth up: The Minion. Super Minion. Bad To The Mutherfucking Bone Minion. Today, The Minion defines, outlines, and comments upon the newest craze sweeping Porno Land – The Mope.

A mope is a guy whose only claim to fame in porn is doing pop shots. They don’t even get hired for full scenes seeing as how each director has their batch of guys they use over and over again.

You see, I work for Chico Wang and have done so on and off since November of 2003. Wang is the head director for Diabolic Video and has been for quite a while. He launched his signature series, No Swallowing Allowed, back in February of 2004. He had hardcore sex mixed in with mopes coming in to pop on the faces of the whores that were cast.

It’s funny how a mope will react to a phone call to come in and get paid to dump their load on some cumbucket’s face.

“It’s only $100?” – or better yet – “When do I get a full scene?”

This is the shit I deal with when having guys come in for No Swallowing Allowed, Mouth 2 Mouth, or Down The Hatch. Some mopes never move beyond that status, but once in a while you get one that makes the grade. James Deen and Will Powers have shown they have what it takes and are used quite often.

However, back to the mopes. It’s aggravating as fuck to be woken by your cell phone at 9 am by some mope wondering, “Hey, are you guys shooting today?”

If we were I’d call you, but stop with the 2-3 calls daily asking if we’re shooting and whatnot.

I see being a mope as the easiest gig out there. You get your $100 for 5 minutes of work and you get a talent copy of that video. Unfortunately, some idiots make it harder by them not paying attention to simple directions:

After you pop do not talk.

Leave the room immediately and shut the fuck up.

Do not start washing your hands – the noise will be picked up on camera.

If it’s a facial line then do not pop in her mouth or on the floor.

Collect your check and get the fuck off the set.

Do not hang out on set if not asked to.

These are some of the things that mopes do that irritate the fuck out of me.

Then again, a mope is a mope is a mope.

Today’s Guest Blogger: Mackenzie Wilson

Mackenzie's Blow Bang!

From time to time I’m going to have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

Third up: My pal, Mackenzie Wilson. For her second guest spot, Mackenzie blogs on the art of giving head and her first onscreen blowjob.

Lesson #1 in Porn: SPEAK UP!

My first BJ scene in porn was a blend of excitement, nervousness, and bashfulness. I was 19 before I gave my first bj EVER, and 20 when I entered the business. I bet you can do the math yourself, but suffice it to say I had little to NO experience giving head. I figured if I just did what they told me, I’d be fine. It was a simple ‘job’, right?I was still scared. I mean, this wasn’t just a boyfriend-blow job. This was gonna be seen by lots of people!

Well, turns out I needed guidance the whole time. It was a couple shooting me for their website, and let me tell you what assholes they were. SO picky about every little fucking thing. I’ve worked with them since, a couple of times, and they continued to be assholes to me.

Anyhoo, at first they had to get me talking in front of the camera, which wasn’t too hard. Then they instructed me on being more ‘aggressive’, which to this DAY I am a pro at.

“You can’t be scared of it. Just go to town.”

I improved a bit during the scene, but wifie had to take over a couple of times and so I knew I had some work to do on improving my technique. I didn’t outright ask her questions, like “Why do you vary your method of application?” or “Do you focus on the head or the shaft?”

I just watched. And watched, and watched, and after watching hundreds of BJ scenes, asking actresses/producers about it, listening to male friends complain or rave about how a girlfriend gave them a bj, and shooting probably close to 50 bj’s, I consider myself a damn good dick sucker now. I’ve had so many males tell me I’ve been ‘the best’, and whether or not that’s true for all of them, I doubt it. But I know deep down that I am WAY better than a girl my age with only average life experience from guys that can not come out and say bluntly, “No, you need to do it like this. And do this while you’re at it. Yeah, that’s good.Ok…” etc.

This leads me to talk about the first thing that I am so thankful to have gained by being involved in the porn industry: the ability to be VOCAL. You must be able to talk to your partner openly, bluntly, dirty, etc and be so comfortable with it. Not only does it make sex and foreplay better, there is no guessing games as to if you are hitting the right ‘spot’ or really ‘doing it’ for him/her. It’s really a no brainer. But what do most people do in their private lives? They stay silent, which is the dumbest thing you can do.

I’ve actually never seen that BJ anywhere on their website or on the ‘net. In fact, I think they trashed the scene ’cause I wasn’t doing it good enough and it probably turned out horrible. Hey, I got paid, and I hate those people, so what do I care?!