The Wonderous Vagina


The Slob writes:

Dear Billy,

I was reading your post the other day and critique of wannabe porn star “Samanthaâ€? and was wondering…Does the look of the pussy matter when a girl applies to be in porn? I mean, I’ve seen some horrible meat curtains in my day and I can tell you that as an avid fan of porn, I like to see a nice, neat package on a woman! There is nothing worse that getting all pumped up to see a girl get naked only to have her drop her panties to reveal what can only be described as an Arby’s Roast Beef sandwich!!! Talk about a boner-killer!

The other part of the woman’s care package that I have issues with is hair. Now I’m fully aware that some of the boys out there like a hairy, 70’s looking pussy on a girl that is reminiscent of old “Debbie Does Dallasâ€? style porn, but not me. I like a hardwood floor down there whenever possible. If there must be hair, neatly groomed into a “Runwayâ€? or “Hitler’s Mustacheâ€? is best. It’s nearly impossible to catch a nut looking at a girl with a hairy beaver. It brings a mental comparison of eating her out to making out with Castro!!! GAH!

On a final note, the worst B.E. (bush etiquette) infraction on a chick I can think of is the “Mossy Raisin�. This is a condition found when a girl has a full hedge of hair around her wrinkled penny (asshole)!! That is just no good!

So what’s the skinny for critiquing a girl’s “Down Stairsâ€? before shooting here? And can we have a look at Samantha’s pie?


Dearest Slob:

You’ve brought up some very good points here, my brotha. First off, a woman’s vagina is the greatest thing God ever created. It is a splendid, wonderous invention. What comes close to a vagina? I can’t think of anything. And I’m thinking Eiffle Tower…Great Pyramids of Egypt…man’s walk on the moon…The Velvet Underground’s first record…

Let’s face it, we’re slaves to vagina. We do things we really don’t want to do for vagina. This is why we are weak and they are strong. Shit, I wish I had a dollar for every minute every man on the face of the Earth thinks about vagina…for just one day! I’d have more money than Wal-Mart, and I wouldn’t have to make any kids work their fingers to the bone to get all that money. I’d even have more money than the guy who owns Blacks On Blondes.

But you bring up something else, my friend, and I need to make a point here. While you might not like the Kentucky Meat Flaps shown here, trust me, there’s a whole lotta guys that do. Not that you’d want to know any of them…or have a beer with them, but trust me, they exist. Just like guys who dig a super-hairy bush. And just like the guys who worship bald beaver.

In fact, I shot this ba-gina in a Gloryhole scene just cause of that meaty vulva you see here today.

Anyway, my tastes run akin to yours, Dr. Slob. I think a woman who pays a whole lotta attetion to her vagina (whether she’s single and hasn’t had sex in 3 years…or she’s getting banged by her boyfriend daily) is super-duper hot. Paying attention to a vagina means it’s either shaved, or trimmed neatly, and hell yea – no hairy bungholes, please. If I wanted to see a hairy ass, I’d be gay.

I myself perfer the two-finger width Brazilian landing strip. But what do we know?

I guess, Slob, the old cliche is true – for every old foot, there’s a shoe.

Your pal, Billy.

PS – Samantha has not replied to my post…so no, I don’t think we’ll be getting a peek at her poonanny anytime soon.

One thought on “The Wonderous Vagina”

  1. If there must be hair, neatly groomed into a “Runway� or “Hitler’s Mustache� is best.

    Or, as some call it, the “Clitler”.

    Man, that cracks me up every time.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *