From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.
Since I started working in this biz a decade ago, the amount of hate a Porno Princess receives never ceases to amaze me. Whatever the delivery method (texts (almost always from blocked numbers), anonymous packages (almost always containing pictures and/or DVD’s and sent to the parents’ home…out of “concern”), e-mails, and any and all social media), your favorite porn star gets them almost daily. Don’t do IR? Then you’re a “dodger”. Do IR? Then you’re a “nigger lover”. You’re a slut, a whore, a skank…and I bet you make your daddy proud, huh?
Recently, I tweeted for a fan to blog about why The Porn Fan, in general, is so damn angry. And today, I woke up to find this in my inbox!
First, a definition. While this may not be the dictionary definition, this is the meaning of the following word in the minds of ‘angry’ men viewing porn: Slut – any woman who has slept with more than one man but has not slept with me.
There are generally two types of sluts. The approachable slut that might sleep with me someday. I like her. In fact, I like her so much that calling her a slut is a term of endearment. Then there’s the stuck-up slut who would never give me the time of day. In fact, she is a whore. This is not a term of endearment.
Most men who look at porn on a regular basis are not generally angry. Viewing porn often does however, result in feelings that include anger. Also bitterness, resentment, jealousy, self-doubt, self-loathing… Then why look?
Most men tend to base their self worth on two numbers. Their bank account balance and the number of women they have seen naked. A deficit in one number can often be supplemented by a surplus in the other. The bank account balance is relatively straightforward. The number of naked women is far more complicated and can be offset by recency. i.e. A naked woman on my lap now will temporarily make up for any overall deficit in this number. Unfortunately, our bank account balance is often easier to control than that second number. Most of us don’t have ready access to a happily naked woman. Those who do typically aren’t spending much time looking at porn.
For the rest of us, viewing porn involves a great deal of fantasy. This is why we don’t care about the plot and POV and gonzo are popular. We want to see a woman doing naughty things and want to imagine that we could somehow be involved. Or maybe we want to see naughty things happening to a woman and somehow derive some power from that scenario that we feel is missing from our lives.
Post climax with a woman you’re left with a beautiful naked woman who just fucked you. Post climax with porn and you’re left with just a television or computer and the fantasy comes crashing down around us. Then the emptiness and wanting returns. This is where those negative feelings come into play. We instinctively know that the woman we just wacked off to would never give us the time of day. While she happily spreads her legs for some stranger she would treat us like garbage. In fact, desirable woman we know in our own lives ignore us or treat us like dirt. I think this is responsible for much of the interest in interracial or other porn that is implied as degrading woman. What better way to exact some feeling of revenge than seeing the whore who would never give you the time of day gagging on the floor with a gapping red ass dripping semen from 5 brutally oversized cocks. Won’t even talk to me? Take that bitch! We despise the power she has over us but just can’t break free from her spell.
Then there’s the guy. Who the fuck is he? How does some dipshit stranger who probably barely graduated from high school get to fuck beautiful woman all day. How does he get to do this and we don’t? How does some middle aged guy get to spend time with all of these beautiful naked woman just because he has a fucking camera? I have a camera. Never ever under estimate the self loathing that comes from realizing that we just paid to watch a loser jack off onto the face of a woman we’d really like to have ourselves. And what’s with the abnormally big cocks? Who is that for, exactly? We all know that they’re not normal but it still makes most male viewers of porn feel inadequate about themselves. This results in more negativity.
Then we realize that the reason that douchebag of a guy gets to fuck all those women, and the reason that beautiful girl is a crazed whore… In fact, the reason that whole word exists is because loser average-dicked guys like us pay them. And we often resolve, for a while at least, to stay away. But eventually, the desire to see more naked women and fantasize that they might be into us overcomes the buyers remorse.