Monthly Archives: August 2008
R.I.P. Chef
My Pal, The Minion.
If I remember correctly, the first time I met The Minion was at AVN’s in Vegas — 2005. I could be wrong, and if I asked The Minion he’d know immediately, but he’s not here today.
When I say “here”, I mean here, as The Minion, for the past year, has been my PA. If it wasn’t for him, I couldn’t do the things I do…specifically make a whole bunch of smut.
I’m sure the next time we met up was at a Chico Wang shoot house, and I think it was the one tucked away in some woods over around Chatsworth, and I think I was there to pick up Katie Thomas — but again, I don’t really recall.
I do remember Chico talking up a storm about The Minion, and how excited he was to shoot him. Chico said things like this has never been done before in porn and on and on.
He was right.
This was before I had seen anything starring The Minion, and I doubted Chico, and he said something like, “I’m shooting him tomorrow. If you don’t believe me, come witness it for yourself.”
So I did.
And he was right…nothing — and I mean nothing — prepped me for what I was about to witness.
“HEY FAT FUCK!! GO TO JACK AND GRAB A DOZEN JUMBO JACKS!!!”
I never liked it when Chico called The Minion “fat fuck”. But then again, there were a lot of things Chico did and said that I didn’t like, but I always kept my mouth shut. I think that’s why we remained friends until he imploded.
No, I know that’s why we remained friends.
Soon, The Minion was back with a dozen hamburgers, and Chico managed to have two bottles of maple syrup on set, and the next thing you know The Minion is slamming the burgers and chasing them with syrup and getting fucked by some porn whore. He’s getting blown, too, and I can’t remember who the porn whore was, but I remember Leah Luv and Bella Donna’s brother sitting next to me watching this whole thing go down.
I have to show this to somebody, I thought, so I pulled out my phone, snapped a pic, and sent it to Spring Thomas…with a message that said, “can you believe this?”
Then, I sent her another one.
Almost immediately Spring texted back, “Please stop sending me those!”
I laughed. I didn’t blame her, either. Who’s gonna watch this? I thought to myself. Who knows…maybe The Minion will be every fat guy’s hero. Every fat guy who watches porn. Maybe he’ll be a hero to frat boys across our fine land. Maybe he’ll be a hero to every guy who’s had a girl reject him.
Who knows…
Word spread fast in Porn Valley about Chico Wang’s Minion, but unless you were on set, that’s all it ever was: words. No one had ever seen a thing. No DVD’s. No website. A few pictures were circulating, but that was it. And when I say a few, I mean it — there’s one of him in a Superman outfit, and there’s one of him eating creamed corn out of the can whilst fucking a porn whore doggy style…but that’s about it.
Since I knew about The Minion, I blogged him a few times: he’s the only male talent ever to be interviewed on my blog; he’s done some guest blogging, and I’ve talked about him a lot. Just search my blog…it’s all there.
Over the two years (or so) The Minion was at work as male talent, he went through the cream of the crop of porn whores…and some who are totally forgettable.
Free movies of The Minion and Haley Scott.
Free movies of The Minion and Jasmine Tame.
Free movies of The Minion and Kelly Wells.
I think, in the end, Chico Wang captured The Minion 165 times (give or take), and who knows…maybe someday The Minion will make his triumphant return.
And I’m just the guy to shoot it.
Porn Vending Machines? Or, The Watson Box.
My pal Faceblaster was recently in Italy, and he sent me this pic of a vending machine full of smut.
Faceblaster earned his name by doing just that — blasting girls in the face; in fact, some of the largest loads I’ve ever had the pleasure of burning to tape came from The Man himself. If you don’t believe me, check out Jackie Joy after she cleaned Johnny Fender’s ass. Wasn’t it was bad enough that Jackie cleaned Mr. Fender’s bunghole with her tongue?
No sir!
After Fender unloaded a massive pop on her face, I had Faceblaster walk on set and finish off the job.
It was a mighty pop.
Her expression — priceless.
Anyways, Faceblaster was off in Italy somewhere when he stumbled upon (what I think) is a great idea: porn in a vending machine.
For 5 Euros it looks like you can buy your smut and never once encounter anyone — no nosy sales clerk…which mens no more being embarrassed about your gay porn habit, or the midget porn you love so dearly, or the cuckolding stuff you hold so close to your heart.
But not close enough to let another human being know about it.
Whatever makes your Freak Flag fly…right?
I was hanging out with Ruth Blackwell last spring and we were at a convenience store, and outside there was a Red Box. Same deal as Faceblaster’s picture he sent, but Red Box only contains mainstream flicks, but it was really very easy: drop a buck into the machine and get the flick!
That night we enjoyed No Country For Old Men.
So maybe have something called a “Porn Box” and have them somewhere only adults can be, and fill them full of smut to sell!
First place I’d stick ’em would be at strip joints. Every fuckin’ strip joint across our Mighty Fine Land. Stick ’em right in a dark corner…or near The Champagne Room.
Fuck it — plop ’em right in The Champagne Room; you can look at your new DVD while the stripper beats you off.
How about horse tracks? Casinos? Bars? Bingo parlors? Shuffle board courts?
The opportunities are endless.
Just imagine dropping, say, a 10 dollar bill into a machine, and it spits out an ass eating movie.
Or some handjob movies.
Or some dick sucking movies.
Or something really, really gay.
See! No one has to know that you like to watch men jack off!
Just do me a favor — if you take this idea and run with it, call it a “Watson Box” and make sure I get at least 20% of net sales.
In lieu of the 20% thing, I’d settle with 250K cash. Up front. Right now.
Thank you in advance.
Now carry on…
Interview with a Porn Star (#46) — Ryder Skye
I Shoot Porn: I don’t know much about you. So tell me more.
Ryder Skye: Tell you more! What do you want to know? There’s so much!
ISP: The obvious.
RS: I’m from LA. I won’t tell you how old I am. I’ve been in porn for about a year and a half.
ISP: What was your segue into porn?
RS: I was an executive assistant and I was bored. Miserable. I started dancing at a bikini bar. Cheetah’s.
ISP: Hey! That’s right by my new house!
RS: I started dancing at night, then started doing some modeling on the weekends. I wanted to build a portfolio, so I did a lot of trade with photographers. That turned into topless, and then I discovered The Suicide Girls. I started submitting photos to them. I did two sets, but they didn’t take them. But I found out I was OK to be naked in front of the camera.
ISP: So what was your first porn shoot?
RS: New Sensations. It was a solo.
ISP: No, what your first porn shoot?
RS: I only did solo and girls for the first 3 months. My first boy/girl scene was actually an interracial scene with a penis that was way too large for me.
ISP: Today’s scene for Blacks on Blondes will feature you…and an unusually large wiener.
RS: Well, I’m unusually small. There’s not a lot of room down there.
ISP: Here’s a fan question: Who is your favorite dick to suck on set?
RS: I don’t like dropping names. I don’t wanna give anyone an ego. They already have big enough egos as it is.
ISP: What is your worst porno experience?
RS: I worked with this one guy who asked me what his “no’s” were, just so he could tell me his.
ISP: What are your no’s?
RS: No fingering. No pounding. Fuck…there’s one more. I can’t think of what it is. I just can’t have a guy pound me. And I hate when guys finger me. Men and women. They just don’t know how to do it!
ISP: I do.
RS: I really don’t have many “no’s”.
ISP: How long has your longest porn shoot been?
RS: Sixteen hours. I do a lot of features.
ISP: What the fuck takes sixteen hours?
RS: Dialog. Sex scenes. They do more than one sex scenes in a day, and if you’re a lead, you’re needed sporadically throughout the day.
ISP: What do you do on the set to pass the time?
RS: Homework. I’m a student.
ISP: What are you studying?
RS: My major is Gender and Women’s Studies with a minor in Human Sexuality. I’m going to get licensed for marriage counseling and sex therapy. I’m also a pro-sex feminist and an advocate for animal rights.
ISP: What did you want to be when you were in high school?
RS: An actress. I trained for 10 years. I’m back at it, too.
ISP: What’s your favorite role?
RS: I dunno. I like doing sit com.
ISP: Do you think porno’s gonna help your acting career?
RS: No no. It’s killing me. It already has.
ISP: Example.
RS: It’s very difficult to find an agent and/or a manager when they find out you’re in porn, which is ridiculous, cause every single actress out there, with the exception of a few, have whored themselves out. The casting couch is really prominent. Just a couple months ago it happened to me.
ISP: Tell me about your mainstream casting couch experience.
RS: It wasn’t for a specific job, it was for representation. He was a manager. He knew I’m in porn, and he said he didn’t care that I was in porn, and that he was fascinated by me being in porn. I told me the casting couch is almost non-existent in porn, and he replied that it’s huge in mainstream. It’s funny, too, cause he was making it sound bad…
ISP: And then he propositioned you.
RS: Yep. What a fucking douche. A total waste of time.
ISP: Did I mention that if you blow me right now I can get you a ton of work?
RS: (laughs) Um…No, it’s cool.
ISP: Do you ever feel exploited making dirty movies?
RS: Hell no. I don’t understand. How can I be exploited if I have full control over my career and my life and the choices I make? An expression of sexuality should never be taken as exploitation. It’s a double standard for women…and that’s why it’s such a big deal.
ISP: Well put! Anything to close with?
RS: Check out my official site! Ryder Skye.com!
Someone ripped off The Stooges. And Mike Watt.
I got a myspace bulletin today that really sucks ass. I just blogged about the Stooges — specifically that Raw Power was runner-up on my all-time top 10 record list — so, I felt I’d do what they asked at the bottom of the bulletin: PLEASE FORWARD AS FAR AND WIDE AND AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE!!!
Take a look at some of the equipment the assholes ripped off.
IGGY AND THE STOOGES
EQUIPMENT STOLEN ON AUGUST 4, 2008
OUTSIDE THE EMBASSY SUITES HOTEL
208 SAINT ANTOINE OUEST,
MONTREAL, QUEBEC, CANADA
all equipment was in a rented penske 15 foot yellow truck with u.s. (michigan) license plate number AC46493 and the theft had to have happened in the morning, between 6:30 and 7:30 am
there’s a web page that will soon have pictures and updates to more stuff found missing
Item Country of Origin Serial Number
Red roadcase containing: USA No serial number Red Gibson 1963 EB-3 bass (this is mike watt’s bass!) USA No serial number
Black roadcase containing: USA No serial number
Reverend Flying V guitar – Volcano black USA #08001
Black roadcase containing: USA No serial number
Reverend Orange guitar USA 03416 ZSL7
Black fibre case containg: USA No serial number
Gibson red SG short scale bass USA No serial number
Black roadcase containing: USA No serial number
Marshall Vintage/Modern Amplifier UK M-2007-07-0926-2 RoHS
Black roadcase containing: USA No serial number
Marshall Vintage/Modern Amplifier UK M-2007-07-0927-2 RoHS
4x Marshall 4×12 Cabinets (with Tuki cover) UK #1 Slant:
M-2007-05-0149-0
4x Marshall 4×12 Cabinets (with Tuki cover) UK #2 Straight:
M-2006-49-0380-0
4x Marshall 4×12 Cabinets (with Tuki cover) UK #3 Slant:
M-2007-05-0150-0
4x Marshall 4×12 Cabinets (with Tuki cover) UK #4 Straight:
M-2006-49-0381-0
Orange Calzone road case containing:
Guitar pedal board and pedals USA/Japan No serial number
Assorted leads USA/UK No serial number
2x mic stands Germany No serial number
Assorted strings and spares USA No serial number
plus:
2x Boss TU2 Chromatic Tuner
Boss CH1 Super Chorus
Fulltone OCD Overdrive
Crybaby Wah
Peterson Strobo-Stomp Tuner Pedal
Whirlwind A/B Boxes
Whirlwind Cable Tester
and many many istrument cables
various tools ( screwdrivers, soldering iron, pliers, etc… )
tambourine and maracas
Cardboard box containing:
Assorted replacement drum heads USA No serial number
Gretsch Silver Sparkle Catalina drum kit USA No serial number
26″ Kick Drum No serial number
13″ Rack Tom No serial number
18″ Floor Tom No serial number
4x Cymbal Stands No serial number
1x Snare Stand No serial number
1x Hi Hat Stand No serial number
1x Drum Throne No serial number
Eden D810 Bass cabinet USA D810RP4 0703E5001
Eden D810 Bass cabinet USA D810RP4 0703E5002
Cardboard box containg:
Eden VT300 Bass amplifier USA 0601E5115
Cardboard box containg:
Eden VT300 Bass amplifier USA 0507E5033
Floor Fan CHINA No serial number
Floor Fan CHINA No serial number
Green clamshell suitcase containing:
Yamaha snare drum JAPAN No serial number
Yahama kick pedal JAPAN No serial number
Zildjian Mega Bell cymbal USA No serial number
Zildjian 15″ Hi-Hats USA No serial number
3x Zildjian 18″ 19″ 20″ crash medium cymbals USA No serial number
Brown Epiphone guitar case:
Black Epiphone EB3 short scale bass KOREA F300503
PLEASE FORWARD AS FAR AND WIDE AND AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE!!!
if anyone has information, ANY INFORMATION!
please, please, PLEASE as soon as possible contact
Eric Fischer at:
nycentral13@gmail.com
cell phone: +1 646 932 1907
Wilco at Wrigley on the 3rd! Tweedy Interview, too!!
Super Fun E-mails: (on the cuckold phenomena).
Rufus writes:
You’re an interesting guy with an edgy & exciting profession. My background is in psych. I’m an observer of the interracial phenomena & I’ll be doing work in this area. I’d like to compliment you on your shooting style. You frame the female body well & pay extra attention to their best features. Some of your dialogue with the performers is good – i realize it can’t be too scripted & that some performers are too wasted or lacking. Some of what you encourage really winds down @ my avenue of study. Obviously the “Once you go black” has hit the mark in the jealousy factor with white males. The comments from the girls on the Black Man’s size presses the penis-envy button. The girls who can slyly smile & sell it to the camera are worth their weight in gold I’d imagine.
The cuckold phenomena when combined with the social psychology of the interracial dynamic has to be a winner. Obviously if it wasn’t, you wouldn’t shoot it. It must be difficult to find straight male actors to be the cuckolds – because of the stigma of their prevailing sexual roles as norm. My research shows that visibly feminine males as cuckolds aren’t a turnon to most white & black men & the higher percentage of women. When the cuckold is coerced, particularly by a more dominant female, a “wimpy” cuckold is more acceptable as realistic. If you can combine a fear factor* with the humiliation, you might push the envelope a bit further. Humiliating her boyfriend by laughing @ the Black Man’s jokes or siding with him in his wishes hits the mark (The Cum Eating Cuckolds series does this well, especially Lei Lani, Lorena Sanchez, Chelsie Rae & Samantha Sin) A suggestion for the cuckold’s impact – rather than him cumming on himself or the girl, have the girl make him jerk into the toilet (or a rubber). This will further distance the connection from the white male to the white female. If she pisses on his cum, sprays disinfectant on it etc, she will visually represent her disdain for the white seed while offering acceptance of Black potence.
One particular dialogue you shot had approached the fear factor with Barbie Cummings. The pro- Black Panther, kill off the white man theme is a step up from the “superior” baby concept, as good as that is. She was doing ICE (who many are regarding as the next Mandingo) – reinforcing the superior, mocking the inferior, championing the “natural selection” while opening up the greatest unspoken fear of your target market. If you could find the right avenue to exploit this category, it colud be the “bomb”. What was your feedback from members like on that one ? Too contraversial ?
The Spring / Katie sites are good for what they are – although you’d found a realistic cuckold boyfriend scenario with Spring – this could really be marketed to young females. I don’t know what % of your customers are female, but that approach could be tweaked to expand your viewing base. I could go on but that might be too much for a first contact. Reply if you’re able & keep up the great work …
Summary Of Billy’s Best Work
Best cumshot position – side by side – both the girls face & the ejaculation are featured …
Best internal position – reverse cowgirl – tight shot on Black Male’s testicles & vein (providing that they flex & pulse) (Brandi Lyons)
Best cuckold scene – Aiden Layne or Spring Thomas (museum)
Best conversion Trinity Post ???
Best wad – Ice Cold (Katie Thomas)
Best prayer – Haley Scott – this opens up a whole new front to play with …
———————————————————–
Rufus!
My main most man — and biggest fan. Thanks for the praise, and can I just say one thing?
Um…maybe you’re taking this a little too seriously?
Your pal — Billy
