Category Archives: How To Make A Dirty Movie

Interracial Gang Bangs Score Best!

Chelsea Ray Interracial Gang Bang

Take a look at super-cute Chelsea Rae, stepping out of her underwear before suckin’ and fuckin’ seven well-hung African Americans.

Below her — Chayse Evans — about to do the same.

Go ahead and click on their pics. You’ll find more free pics and movies featuring two of my very favorite porn whores.

A while back, The Producer of the world’s greatest interracial website — Blacks on Blondes — added a new feature to the members’ area. With the click of your mouse, you can rate a scene from 1 – 10. I’m not sure what the criteria for a member’s choice of, say, a “3” versus a “10”, but I’m starting to get a clue.

I think the girls’ looks have something to do with it.

Maybe even the dude in the scene.

Maybe the “pick up”.

The Money Shot plays a role.

But definitely gang bangs.

But lemme back up a sec. I pay attention to the way a member “grades” a scene…for lack of a better term. Why? Well, I value my job, and I get my panties all up in a bunch when a scene I shot scores, say…less than an 8. Not that I’ll lose my job if a girl scores less, but I’ve always cared about my work — whether I was moving poisonous trash from one side of a warehouse to another whilst donning a gas mask (a real job I once had) to selling cars (another real job I’ve had) to bouncing drunks out of a bar (yep, did that, too) to making sure young brokers pass their Series 7 exam (yet another job to add to my resume).

Anyways, it seems that gang bangs are scoring high: the Annette Schwartz gang bang and the Melanie Jagger gang bang are top 5 scenes.

But I’m not a big fan of shooting gang bangs. They’re a lot of work. They’re hard to shoot stills, cause there’s so many dudes on set they seem to be always stepping in front of my umbrellas. And trying to film a group of dudes in a tight circle around a girl while getting their dicks blown doesn’t leave much room for the cameraman.

But the members love them, which means I’ll keep shooting them…cause that’s the way I roll.

Chase Evans Interracial Gang Bang

Super Fun E-mails: “How Do I Get Into The Porn Biz?”

Kinzy Jo

J. writes:

Mr. Watson:

I am a 20-year old film student at the University of Miami. It’d be great to be an Academy award winning cinematographer photographing the latest Stephen Spielberg flick, but I know that’s not too realistic of a career goal. I’ve always loved porn and I was wondering what it takes to make it in the industry, not in front of the camera, but behind it. What cameras/formats are used mostly? Mostly HD cameras? Also what is generally used in post-production (when it’s needed)? Is Avid the most used or is it FCP? What other skills are needed to truly excel in the porn biz? And last but not least, what is the pay like?

Really enjoy reading your blog and thank you for your time.


J —

Easily the biggest kind of e-mail that lands in my inbox — certainly on a weekly basis — is exactly what you’re asking me about.

Why is working for Spielberg unrealistic? Don’t sell yourself short, my friend. Always remember one thing: The Man had to start somewhere, just like you’re doing now. Most times, The Man did whatever it took to make it whatever it is he wanted to make it in…whether it’s making mainstream movies, or dirty movies, or building something, or wrecking something, or flying something, or driving it…you get my point.

Just make sure whatever it is you pursue is something you really want to do. Which is to say just cause you beat your meat like most men do doesn’t mean you want to make Stroke Filcks…or does it?

If you really want to make dirty movies, then move to Los Angeles the second you graduate. Wait…stay in Miami. There’s a lot of smut being produced right in your neighborhood, and I’m willing to bet there’s some heet taking a load to her face as I bang out this entry. I’d get an HD camera, or a Canon GL-2, which, I think, is the greatest camera ever for making internet pornography. Better learn how to shoot stills, too, if you don’t know how to already. You’ll absolutely need post production; Adobe Premiere is good for editing, and you can get a whole editing bay set up for a fairly reasonable price.

Then, shoot porn!

And get ready for the consequences: not being able to tell your family what you do for a living or talk about your job while you’re sitting around the Thanksgiving (or Christmas or Birthday or anything else) table; lies and deceit; dating porn whores cause any “normal” girl will have nothing to do with a director of dirty movies; lies and deceit; waiting on guys to blow their loads, sometimes for hours; deceit and lies; flakes, flakes, and more flakes; and right when you think you’ve had enough, another porno “star’ will flake on you, right after (s)he lies and deceives you.

This is just off the top of my head. Gimme some more time, and I’m sure I can think of other shit you’ll have to put up with. But what job doesn’t come with headaches and the occasional nightmare?

I can offer this up: at least when you shoot porn you won’t get bored with your work.

Your pal — Billy

PS: If you do decide to make dirty movies, please don’t make them “arty”. Don’t try and make a “real movie”. Don’t add special effects or scripted dialogue. No explosions or car chases. No chases of any kind, unless it’s simply a girl chasing dick, or a dick chasing a girl, or a dick chasing a dick, cause there’s nothing wrong with shooting gay porn. Please please please don’t take yourself as seriously as some of the douches who make these sorts of dirty movies take themselves…cause, in the end, you’re nothing more than a douche bag smut peddler whose movies will quickly be forgotten in the piling heap of smut flicks that are made on a daily basis, and no one likes that sort of scurvy bastard.

And finally, to top it all off, there’s no money in online porn. So go be the next Spielberg, OK?

The Top Five Scenes (as of today) Featured at The Dick Suckers — Number 5, Miss Serena Taylor

Serena Taylor

Wanna start a dirty website?

Seems these days everyone wants one.

The business model is easy: solicit the potential member with free samples, get them to join with an outstanding sales pitch, and keep them happy so every month they don’t want to leave your website. It’s the same business model your health club used to get you to join. Or, that book club you joined. You get the picture.

Then, ask for help! Hire people to sell your site and give them a percentage of the sale…or, just a flat referral fee if the person they send to your business actually buys something. Kinda like Amway does…or used to do. Cause I dunno if Amway’s still around.

That’s it! Really. Simple, right?

In my business, I want to sell the very best masturbatory aids available. That’s what I sell. Material to help dudes beat off. That’s it. Cause let’s face it, your girlfriend, bless her heart, had a great pussy when you first met her, but it’s been a few years now, and that special something has kinda worn off. And your wife, bless her heart, quit caring about satisfying your libido about a day (or so) after you two said your vows.

I sell material to help dudes whack their wiener.

Cause that’s porn’s sole function: it ain’t art, and it ain’t a feature movie; forget about plot, and characterization, and all that silly stuff. Gimme a hot chick doing something really wrong, make sure I’m all alone and no one’s expected home for a while, and a ball sac full of jizz, and I’m good to go.

The Dick Suckers is a mighty fine example of the wares I’m offering. Who doesn’t like to see a girl stick a dick in her mouth and bob her head back and forth a whole bunch until the dude can’t hold it anymore, hence, losing his load. At The Dick Suckers, I direct the dudes to shoot in right in her face, cause it’s so wrong and degrading and hot all at the same time.

I kept it simple, too. No fancy names, no silly scenearios. They’re dick suckers, so we called the site TheDickSuckers, and all we do is slap a number on a scene and keep ’em flowing to the members as fast as we can.

We’re closing in on 100 dick suckers featured in the members’ area of the site, and in my opinion the 5th best of all of them is Serena Taylor — here’s some free Serena Taylor blowjob movies to prove, once again, that I’m right.

Serena Taylor

Serena Taylor was a stripper who took out a Sexy Jobs ad a couple of years ago. I contacted Miss Taylor as soon as I read her ad, and we had a nice conversation. My only problem with Serena was her price. She was an expensive scene, and Serena didn’t care whether or not anyone paid her rate.

I admire her for that.

She stuck to her guns through our negotiations, so I decided to cough up the extra dough to hire her. I’m glad I did. She sucked cock like it was an Olympic event and she was going for The Gold. The result? A monster load right to the side of her head, all the time talking like a dirty tramp.

When I shoot my scenes I direct the male talent to keep their mouths shut. Who wants to hear silly jokes and worthless banter? Let the girl talk right to the camera, which means she’s talking right to my members, and they love every second of it.

Makes them lose their load.

Makes them a happy camper.

All I want to be is a successful businessman while spreading joy and stress relief all over our fine land — and, come to think about it more, all over the world…cause now I’ve got members from other, far-away lands.

Which makes me an internationally known film director!

A spreader of joy and stress relief!!

I’ve received e-mails testifying that my movies have helped salvage failed relationships!!!

I should win a Nobel Peace Prize.

And you thought I was nothing more than a dirty pervert scumbag pornographer.

How To Become a Pornographer, Part 2

Jaylynn Sinz and Billy Watson

The first thing I did was research equipment. You don’t necessarily have to buy the most expensive stuff, but don’t settle for cheap, either. Cutting edge in ’02 was a 3 chip video camera; now it’s HD. But I don’t buy HD…yet. Meaning, of course, I think you can definitely make great movies without committing it to HD. Don’t forget there’s HD and HDV, and there’s the internet and bit rate compressions, and DVD is dying a slow death, and the medium in my industry is still up in the air, so just do your homework and have a little bit of a budget and you should do fine.

Have fun with lighting…both video and photographs. It’s something I’m still trying to figure out to this day. Just do your homework and make sure you get some help. I’d hire a pro for 1/2 day or a day…and if you don’t have the money to do hire a pro, find it. Or, read up on it.

Once your lights and camera are set, time to find the whores. Here’s where it gets tricky. I’m in LA now, where there’s tons of pimps all over the place. Professionally they’re known as “agents”. When I began looking for whores before I figured out the LA scene…well, I did the best I could. Ads and word-of-mouth work…sometimes. Referrals work sometimes, too…just gotta find other producers in your area, and hope they’ll share information with you. Some do, some don’t.

I realize the negative connotation “whore” carries, but when I refer to a porno girl as a “whore”, I’m not degrading them. I used to use “Porn Star” when I referred to any girl who did naughty things in front of a camera, but I don’t anymore; a porn star transcends the biz and their name becomes recognizable to people who don’t watch porno on any kind of regular basis.

Jenna Jameson and Ron Jeremy are porn stars. Anna VonTrap and Riley Winters are not.

Besides, it wouldn’t bother Anna or Riley if you called them a whore. Really, it wouldn’t.

So, you got yourself a whore, and you got your equipment, and you’ve learned your cameras and you got yourself a place to shoot your smut, and you’ve made yourself familiar with local laws concerning the production of smut (Los Angeles County is the only place in the country where shoot smut is legal), and you’ve decided exactly what kind of smut you’re gonna make (for example, interracial or handjobs or ass eating or dick sucking or solo girl or gay.).

You’re Porno, baby!

Did you remember your baby wipes and lube? Enemas and douches? Dildoes and vibrators?

And once you’ve shot your whore, how much do you pay her? Here’s current LA rates for a girl shooting straight content (give or take) and this isn’t the first time I’ve posted this information:

Solo / Masturbation / Toy Show – $100 (or so) an hour.
Handjobs – $200 a scene.
BJ’s – $300 a scene.
Girl / Girl Lezbo – $600 to $800 per girl a scene.
Boy / Girl Sexy Time – $900 – $2000 a scene.
Add a dick for $100 (or so) per dick, until the porn whore says “that’s enough!”

I could go on, but I think I’ve covered this before, so I’ll cut it short now, and if you’re really into jumpstarting your career in smut, poke around the blog a little and I’m sure you’ll do just fine.

I’m gonna go watch 300 now.

How To Become a Pornographer, Part 1

Jaylynn Sinz and Billy Watson

I was teaching as an adjunct professor in an inner-city community college district working desperately toward a tenured position.

I spent close to four years at that place busting my ass, too: besides working over-time all the time, I volunteered a lot, as well as sat in on every faculty meeting I could (even the ones that weren’t required) making sure to contribute everything I had up my sleeve just for a shot at that coveted gig — tenure.

When the gig was officially announced, I was one of 400 (or so) candidates for consideration.

A month later, there were three: myself, The Competition, and The Other.

The Competition was a middle-aged woman who was very competent — and excellent instructor who cared about her students — and happened to be hard of hearing. I think she was legally deaf, but I’m not sure. All I knew was she had a disability, and I didn’t; hence, she was one up on me…and it was a big one up.

The Other was a poet who just earned his MFA and taught the 6th grade. He wasn’t much of a threat; after all, he wasn’t qualified for the position, and I knew the only thing The Other had going for him was his close friend was a poet as well. His close friend taught at the college with me, and that’s the only thing that had gotten The Other as far as he had gotten. After all, The Other hadn’t taught a day in a college classroom.

I had almost four years in the classroom at that college under my belt, an unsurpassed student rapport, high evaluations from my superiors, and all sorts hours volunteering.

So did The Competition. Plus, did I mention she was deaf?

We interviewed for a committee of five. I got a fresh haircut and wore my very best suit…one that I used to wear when I sold stocks and bonds and taught wanna-be brokers how to pass the Series 7. I was very confident, too; three of five of the committee were my pals; one I scored “boo” for when his supply was dry.

I called this The Equalizer — she might have been deaf, but I scored weed for one of the committee members who sat on the hiring panel.

Weeks went by without a word. No one, it seemed, was getting hired. We were all tense, but we pretended like it wasn’t a big deal. Then, the word came down from administration: “Due to a lack of diversification in the hiring pool, the position will be offered as an adjunct professor for a one-year-only contract.”

Administration in inner-city schools believe minorities learn best from other minorities. In other words, a young black man, for example, learns best from a black professor, which is an opinion I highly agree with. But what happens when there are no minority candidates qualified for the position? Well, in my case, just take the position away, offer it again the following year, and hope to God a qualified minority applies.

All three of us agreed to take the adjunct position — if it was offered to us — and reapply the following year for the tenured job.

That same day I was axed, leaving The Competition and The Other.

I was stunned. What went wrong? Did I say something? What part of my hiring packet was incomplete? Did I fuck up my application? Maybe the lesson I presented The Panel was off?

I went to see Professor Boo. I really liked Professor Boo…I still do. He was an old beatnik poet, and he lived in a cold-water flat in Greenwich Village in the 60’s, and he was the kind of worker who dies before retirement, and he could tell some great stories: one of my favorites was when he would catch Thelonius Monk at the Five Spot in, and he’d show me how Thelonius would just jump up from his piano in the middle of a tune and dance around the stage and then plop himself back into his bench and hammer out more notes without ever missing the beat.

Professor Boo was no where to be found. I did find Professor Cunt, who was a big mouth know-it-all with a PhD from NYU (I think) so I guess that means she was a know-it-all, but there’s cool know-it-alls and know-it-alls you can’t stand, and no one could really stand Professor Cunt. She wasn’t on my hiring committee, but the way people talk in academia, I knew she would know why I wasn’t hired.

“My dear, don’t you realize that being gay is a diversification?”

This made immediate sense to me, but you won’t understand this…until I tell you that The Other was gay, and, in fact, he was The Lover of The Poet who taught in my department. Professor Cunt was smiling, and she might have even giggled a bit, but I wasn’t smiling…or laughing.

“So if I wear a dress tomorrow and start sucking a whole bunch of cock do you think I have a shot at the position next year?”

She stopped smiling. And I went into my office, grabbed the biggest box laying around, and packed my shit and hauled ass.

That week a friend of mine called. He had started some dirty websites on the internet, and he needed original content for them, and he wanted to know if I was looking for work.

The next month I was up in the hills of Malibu, high above the Pacific Ocean in a very secret place, working for a dude named Dogfart and a site called Blacks On Blondes.

Top 10 Things You Need On A Porno Set


I’ve added a new category to ISP, cause, well, I get a lot of e-mails asking about the technicalities of making a dirty movie. So my new category will address just that – and cover everything from cameras and stuff to things you’d never think about, like today’s top ten list:

1) Lube. And not just any lube. Better have 3 or 4 different brands. Across the board, I’d say Eros is the number one pick when I ask the talent what lube they prefer, especially if someone’s getting something shoved up their poop chute. As far as the others, people either love or hate KY. There’s usually no inbetween. Wett is somewhat popular. ID is OK. A few – but not many – reply “I don’t care,” when I ask them what lube they want. And finally, I know I have a true porn whore on set when she gives me a silly look and says, “Spit works best!” then hocks one into her hand and rubs her pussy with it…then spits all over the guy’s dick, too.

2) Baby wipes. Best thing ever to wipe cum off her face. I get the unscented ones, too. And no, paper towels and toilet paper don’t work…but they’d do in a jam, I suppose.

3) Refreshments. Bottled water and some cold cans of soda work wonders…both diet and regular. Fruit sodas – like Orange and Grape – are inexplicably popular. Add some sort of snacky-snack, like a meat/cheese tray you get at the grocery store with some chips and salsa score lots of points, and if you order pizza, then you’re the hero of the day.

4) A fan. And no, not you. I mean the type of fan that moves air around in a room. One with a silent motor is best…those turbo fans, or whatever the hell you call them. And no, you can’t be on set, waving your arms around to move the air, so don’t ask.

5) A model release. Duh. I’ve actually forgotten them, too. Can’t publish the pics and movies without a signed contract stating so.

6) An ash tray. Somewhere on set. Cause almost all of them smoke…which brings me back to an old saying we had in high school: “If they smoke, they poke!”

7) Spare lights and batteries. Cause it’s gonna happen – you’re all set and ready to go, and the talent’s there, and your lights are set, and you flip them on to start, and one of them dies. Of course there’s no extras on set, and everything dies, right then and there. Or the flash you use on your camera dies, and you have no batteries…then, you have no pictures.

8) With spare lights and batteries comes DV tapes. Better have a box of them. Two’s better.

9) With DV tapes come memory chips that are empty and formatted and ready to go. Make sure you’ve got plenty of room on them, as you don’t want to run out and not have any room left for the money shot pics.

10) A good attitude, even when the talent forgot theirs at home. If a porno star comes in with a shitty attitude, and you reply in kind, your shoot is fucked. If you end up actually shooting the scene, it’s almost worthless. Kill them with kindness, even when they’re shitty to you, and it’s amazing some of the things you’ll accomplish.