Today’s Guest Blogger: Doron Pepperscone — “Face Blaster Makes Me Happy”

Dream Theater Mike Portnoy

Yes, the title is a peculiar one but allow me to explain. I’ve been honing my skills as a camera dude by shooting the last few scenes for Manojob.com and The Dick Suckers.com and No Way Am I Gay.com. Billy is out of town and has given me complete creative license on shooting for his sites.

Trisha Rey was in earlier today for Manojob.com (which is rendering as I type this) and she was here to jerk off an anonymous dick. I was about to shoot stills when I checked my phone and saw I had 2 missed calls. The phone showed that super popper, Face Blaster, had called from who-knows-where.

You see, when Face Blaster’s not unloading his ball snot onto some porn chick he’s doing some technical mumbo jumbo for various individuals all around the country.

(Interruption from Billy Watson: clicking on the above hyperlink “unloading his ball snot” will take you to a scene I shot featuring Face Blaster…look at the 4th clip and see how he earned his name.)

I called him back and he said “Dude, I was just here with Mike Portnoy.”

Ok, for those of you who don’t know better to listen to Progressive Rock Dream Theater is in my top 5 “favorite band” list.

The order, in case you care,goes like this…..1-Led Zeppelin, 2-Pink Floyd, 3-Rush, 4-Dream Theater, 5-Iron Maiden. However, Mike Portnoy is makes the #2 spot on my list of “favorite drummers” right behind G-d himself, Neil Peart, and right above John Bonham.

Face Blaster continued, “Check your voice mail, Pepperscone.” I listened to it and Face Blaster was able to get Mike Portnoy to leave a voice mail for me and it goes like this: “Hey Doron, it’s Mike Porntoy from Dream Theater here. Eat my ass and balls! See ya!”

Yes, the man who fuckin’ owns your favorite drummer just told me to do some un-biblical things to him. Seriously, thanks Faceblaster……..I’ll buy you some Rosie’s grub when you get back into town.

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