No Way Am I Gay

Straightboy Carter Strokes

Joey Brass was here to jerk off for my site marketed directly to gay dudes — No Way Am I Gay.

Before my days in this biz, gay porn disturbed me. I’m not a homophobe — really, I’m not — but the thought of two dudes doing it was, to me, the equivalent of watching a train run over a baby carriage…with the soft, gentle baby sleeping inside.

After shooting for a year or two, I ended up on a gay set. It really didn’t bother me knowing there were fags doing it in the same studio where I was hanging out, but, on the same note, I didn’t rush over to watch the dudes bang each other.

I did, however, wind up on set, and sure enough, homeboys were banging each other. To me, it was kinda like watching that train hit the baby carriage…you didn’t want to look, but you had a hard time taking your eyes off it.

I watched as 3 dudes took turns sucking and fucking each other. They said things like, “ohh gawd, that’s it, fuck me daddy,” and “God how does that big cock fit in my ass?” and “Shoot your hot load down my eager throat.”

I’m not sure how a throat can be eager, but it’s a fair adjective.

The whole reason I started a gay site? Simple…it’s the same reason I’m on porn: to make money. And apparently gay porn pays. Big. Think about it…in general, gay dudes have more disposable income, they’re more open to porno in general, and they love to jerk off, which makes them a lot like straight dudes, except straight dudes don’t like to admit they jerk off to anything…let alone porn.

Then I did some homework. What did I learn? Well…there’s Leather Daddies, and Bears, and Bear Cubs, and Hankey Codes, and Twinks, and tops and bottoms. I also learned gay dudes LOVE to bang straight dudes, cause, well…they’re not easily obtainable.

No Way Am I Gay!

At first, I shot all the scenes for No Way Am I Gay. But I didn’t like it too much. Then, for a while, I had my assistant, Cherry Poppins, shoot it…but that backfired, cause (apparently) gay dudes don’t like to hear a girl’s voice while they’re making love to themselves.

Now I have my boy wonder, Doron Pepperscone, shoot it. In case you’re wondering, Doron would be classified as a Bear.

But on to Joey Brass: “Hey Joey, I’m a straight dude, and so is Doron Pepperscone. He’ll be shooting you today. Ever shoot a solo stroke before?”

In fact, Joey had. For a guy named Randy Blue. “And you won’t believe what he paid me to jerk off,” Joey said.

I looked up at Joey. I was worried this was his way of working a few extra dollars out of me, cause we hadn’t even established a price yet. “How much does he pay?”

“Well, he paid me $1800 to jerk.”

I pay $150 for the same thing.

The first thing I did was scream. Not at Joey, or Doron Pepperscone…or at Adrianna Nicole, who just happened to be hanging out on set.

“Fuck me! I’ll jerk off on camera for eighteen hundred bucks!”

This caught everyone’s attention.

Joey continued: “He pays $2,500 for a circle jerk.”

That did it for me. I kinda came unglued. “WHAT! TWENTY FIVE HUNDRED TO JERK WITH SOME DUDES?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?”

Joey remained calm. “No. You don’t have to touch them, either. What a great gig.”

“I swear to Christ I’d do a circle jerk for $2,500!” I exclaimed.

I said that cause it’s true.

“I’d punch my dad in the face for $500,” said Doron Pepperscone.

He said that cause it’s true.

“Why don’t I have a ween?” Adrianna asked.

She asked that cause she really wants one.

Since then, I’ve somewhat retracted my statement on the circle jerk. I don’t think I’d do that, but I’d still do a solo stroke for sure. That is, if anyone wants to pay to see a middle aged chubby guy with a six inch ween stroke it.

And just cause you’re wondering, no way am I gay.

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