Super Fun E-Mails

Nicky Hilton and her Gloryhole

DN The Hater writes:

I just thought of something that made me laungh but also makes me curious. I cannot watch porn while eating food…am I alone in this or does everyone feel this way?

DN! The Hater!

We finally agree on something!

I, too, cannot watch porn while I eat. Wait! Lemme back up! I don’t watch porn anymore! Really, I don’t. I know I say this a lot, but people don’t believe me! Seriously…if you’re feeling like porno’s taken over your life, here’s a few things you can do:

1) Start making porn. It’ll cure your “addiction” for sure.

2) Eat a whole bunch, cause I think DN’s onto something here. You’ll end up really fat, but at least you’ll be cured of your porno “addiction”.

It’s funny, cause when I eat, I really like to watch TV, and usually only the news. Isn’t that weird?

I can be listening to Howard Stern, but as soon as lunch is ready, Howard’s off, and CNN is on. I also can’t listen to music when I eat. I can watch a movie while I’m eating, but usually only when I eat snacks; if I’m eating dinner I usually default back to one of the major news networks (except FOX), and when I’m done it’s back to the movie…and perhaps a delightful snack.

Also, did you notice I placed the word “addiction” in quotes when I refer to it with porno? That’s cause there’s no such thing as porno “addiction”. Oh sure, you can be hung up on porn, but it’s not porn’s fault…just like it isn’t alcohol’s fault when you’re boozing too much.

Just like your gambling addiction isn’t a roulette wheel’s fault.

However, nicotine addiction kills 400,000 (or so) lives a year.

“Murder” might be a better word, since the tobacco corporations have known this for years and have spent billions trying to make it go away, all the while continuing to produce and sell it.

Why aren’t the Christians pissed off about this?

Oh! Where’s a good Porno Lobbyist in Washington DC when you need one?!

Anyway, on a completely different note, this week’s Gloryhole girl is Nicky Hilton! And please don’t get her confused with that other Hilton girl Kelly!

Just make sure you’re all done with that yummy burger and fries before you pull down your pants, surf over to Gloryhole, and rub one out to Nicky Hilton blowing a black dick about the size of her arm.

Isn’t she a cute little thing? And what’s a girl like that doing in a place like that??

Of course DN won’t be going anywhere near the site since we all know he hates more than just about anything else in the whole wide world. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like him!

As always,

Your Pal Billy

Nicky Hilton and her Gloryhole

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