Sophia’s Engaged!

she's engaged

I just got an e-mail from Sophia. She’s engaged, and she wanted to show me her ring. I’m so happy for her, and for Kevin, and the more I think about how happy I am for them, the more my mind wanders.

Which makes it wander towards commitments. Not Sophia’s commitment to her fiance, just commitments in general.

Cause I’ve never been good with them. Ever.

I’m not sure why, either. But I like to blame testosterone.

A long time ago, I was a jock, and a pretty good one. I worked really hard to make an Olympic team, and I took testosterone to achieve that goal.

It’s nothing I’m proud of, but hey, this is my blog, and it’s going to be honest, so there ya go. I took ‘roids for a while, and they turned me into one horny motherfucker. I walked around with a boner, even when I wasn’t thinking of sex. I’d wake up with a boner at like 4 in the morning, even when I wasn’t dreaming about sex. In fact, I woke up cause of my boner. It was so hard it almost hurt. And the whole time I was getting a million random boners a day, my body was loaded up on testosterone.

Anyway, the physiology of a boner is to have sex, and testosterone makes a boner, and God put dudes on this planet to spread their seed. Dudes with lots of testosterone in their body – about 100 times as much as a girl – even when they aren’t on ‘roids.

That’s why you’re here, reading about porn. It’s also why you like to watch porn. And cheat. Cause let’s face it – there’s nothing better than sex when it’s new. And a man’s sexuality is as dumb as it gets.

Sophia’s engagement. Commitments. Testosterone. Random boners.

What’s wrong with me?

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