Let’s Talk About Riley Mason!

Riley Mason free hand job movies
When I was in junior high, I had a Social Studies teacher who was a total hippy. He’d play records on one of those small turntables you’d get from the school’s A/V department, while we were working on whatever it was we were working on that day. One of his favorite records was “The Worst of Jefferson Airplane”, and I’d always wonder why anyone would name anything “The Worst of”…until now.

For a minute and a half, Riley Mason was the shit in Porn Valley. Her fan base was fairly diverse, but the “Indie Rock Dudes” nationwide took a particular liking to her…as did I. In a nutshell, anything “indie” (music, art, film) means it just hasn’t reached the masses yet. Anyone “Indie” means they stumbled upon it before you did, which, of course, makes them cooler than you.

Riley was Pure Indie, and one of the first Indie Chicks to start fucking and sucking on camera for the world to see. This drove the Indie Dudes mad, and I mean literally mad. They loved to beat off to her, and once they blew their load, they loved to shit talk her. I’ve come to discover it’s a pretty common guilt complex. Anyway, a lot of them frequented a chat board called “Hipinion“, and it’s still around, although I have no idea how relevant it is anymore. But these Indie Dudes would just rail on poor Riley, and do stupid things like post her real name, and her computer chat names, and then harass her endlessly. I jumped in to the drama a bit, and then came after me, too, proposing a variety of ill wills pointed my way. Must be nice when you have that much time on your hands. But what do you expect from a bunch of “pasty losers and alcoholics”? (Note: Urban Dictionary’s words…not mine).

Rereading this brings back all those memories, plus more, cause I mention Chico Wang here, and as you probably know he was found dead a few years ago in a cheap motel in Northern California after some particular gnarly nastiness.

Ah — those wanton days of yesteryear!

This blog’s original air date: February 11, 2006.

So I’m at Chico Wang’s, cause I booked Riley for my site — the world’s greatest hand job site — Mano Job! I’m at Chico’s shooting cause…well, I kinda like it over there. It’s dirty and depraved, just like a true Porno House in Porn Valley is supposed to be. I booked Riley Mason again cause I love her looks, and I think she’s one of the hottest girls in the game right now, and she’s a pleasure to be around.

Right before we started rolling film, we sat down for a brief chat. An impromptu interview, so to speak. It got very intense at times. I listened carefully as Riley explained some of the things going on in her life right now. I didn’t have a pen and paper, and my memory is weak, so I won’t quote her here…but these are some of the topics we touched upon:

1) The Indie Rock Dudes who constantly harass her online.

2) The “fat pic” roaming around the internet that’s supposedly her.

3) A general overview of her life in porn.

I tried to explain to Riley that indie rock dudes, as a whole, are a nutty bunch. They’re very repressed individuals, usually, that don’t get laid too much, and when they do, it’s fodder for the next 10 years of their life. Like…they’ll be at a Death Cab For Cutie show bragging about the girl they banged in 92, right after the Superchunk show. That sort of thing.

Then Riley brought up the published chat logs, most of which are fabricated, at least in part. Some of the things in these chat logs she really did type out, but most of it she didn’t.

“That’s cause they like you a whole lot, Riley. And besides, I’ve read some of those chats, and I think it’s pretty obvious when it’s you and when it’s not.”

She said that was a weird way of showing affection.

“I know Riley, but remember, this is a weird bunch of guys. They seldom talk to girls, unless they’re clerking in the used record store they work at…a job that usually pays them minimum wage; a job that’s very important to them and makes them cool people. It’s also the only time girls approach them – generally. That or when they’re at the Indie Club listening to Indy Rock and the girl spent her last sawski and only then she might approach Dude and ask him to buy her a beer. That’s about it, really.”

She’s bummed though. When they discovered her screen name, they published it all over the net, then hit her up for chat all the time, then made up some chat and turned it into her words, and then found this pic of a fat girl that somewhat resembles her, and spread that all over the place saying it was her, and on and on.

“That’s cause they like you a whole lot, Riley. And they have a whole lot of time on their hands.”

We kinda left it at that. But overall, Riley Mason likes her life in porn right now. She’s having a fun time and making good money, and life’s generally very good for her. At least that’s what it seems like to me.

Too bad the same thing can’t be said for all those Indie Rock Dudes.

26 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About Riley Mason!”

  1. Dear Mr. Piece Of Shit I Shoot Porn Man,

    Where do you think you get off, calling us Indy Rock Dudes “a nutty bunch?” You don’t know the first thing about Indy Rock. Sure, you might could convince a dumb prostitute you do, but that kinda trick won’t turn on us. I know, I know; you were only saying those things to keep your hooker happy, and it probably worked. She probably smeared mayonnaise on some dude’s cock, and he probably ejaculated, and there’s probably some other dude doing the same thing to himself while he watches it right now. But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re a fuckin’ cockroach. Name dropping Death Cab? Mighta been Indy… six years ago, dumbass.

    And yeah, go ahead, come back at this with a remark about how often I get laid, as if you getting laid is anything special. You either A: pay a prostitute to have sex with you, or B: trick prostitutes into thinking you’re cool for having sex with other prostitutes to the point where they wanna give you a freebie. You really know how to play “the game!” Fuckin’ idiot. Your shit isn’t even good. OMG, JOMG! Bet you feel like a regular marketing genius for breaking into the semen-on-spectacles niche. Or was that Cum Covered Glasses? Either way, die of AIDS.

    Dennis Moore

    PS. Keep up the good work!

  2. “She’s one of the few,the proud, the latest whore on blacksonblondes.com!”

    This excerpt is the message for blacksonblondes Lizzie Tucker the next update!
    What is Billy? It’s the end of Blacksonblondes??

  3. Why do I feel like the first post was a direct ripoff of mine? He even mentioned mayonaise. Fucking prick. Bitch tits.

    I have nothing to add really. You tried to explain to Riley that you were a much more intelligent “with it” hipster doofus than the other hipster doofuses. You were different and more special than the others. Awwwww. You are different and special honey and don’t let anyone ever tell you “differently” peaches. Props “brah.” Did that get you a handjob at least while you were conceptualizing the next shoot with BBC!!!!. When you say “indie” racialize it for your readers like you do everything else. White, pasty, scared, impotent, desperately clinging to music no one has ever heard of in order to feel relevant. I think they will understand it better. You hinted at it but refused to grasp the cock by the balls. That’s not like you at all “brah.” Explit those differences. Use them. Make money off them.

  4. I hope not !!!!!

    Ivy winters and Alexis Texas in Blacksonblondes, please !!!!!!!

    Before the end!


  5. I’m just posting this to let you know that not all of your readers are batshit crazy and/or hopelessly obsessed with one of your websites. Lest you start to think that to be the case.

  6. this was almost incoherent.nothing crazy new or exciting.bill you are losing you touch is it coz of the hiv scare???Fun interesting weird stuff about porn please not some random boring story

  7. You have to remember that many (not all) Indy guys define themselves as “contrary to popular opinion”. Lots of nasty, psychological reasons I could give as to why, Billy gives a few. The sentence “Hey, so you’re Indie, guess you’d like…” is offensive to them. No matter how you finish it, no matter what it is they outright hate it (so you like death cab right? “yea-No! They suck dick!”). If you’re right and they do like it, then not only will they claim to hate it but they’ll jump through all kinds of hoops to try and prove it to you. Like doing the kind of shit they did to Riley. It’s hip to be a cunt.

  8. I knew Riley in NC a few years before she started porn and I have to say when I found out she was in porn I wasn’t that shocked.

    She was a terrible person all around, fucked anything that moved, apparently had an abortion at 15, and tried to get a bunch of punk kids to beat me up for no reason.

    No reason to play save-a-hoe on this bitch. I like watching her fuck strange men for money, and I know she is a prostitute now. She had a good life too. Came from a nice home in a nice neighborhood and could have really became something other than a jizz dump.

    Fuck her.

  9. are all your blog posts this bad? you’ll have to forgive me for spouting off, but i assumed that was actually heading somewhere. nope, it was a incoherent brain fart of words.

  10. WHO CARES about Riley Mason and some wannabe hipster indy rock geeks?!

    Seriously, people need to get a fucking life.

    Riley fucks semi-random guys on camera (and now off) for money. Period, end of story.

    She’s not going to be a rocket scientist, or the next SCOTUS. She’s a porn chick plain and simple. She swallows jizz like it was going out of style after doing bong rips and meth rails. Just appreciate her for the fuck pig cum toilet that she loves being (so much that, she’ll fuck truly random guys for barely two Benjamins).

    Talk about a waste of the internet! How about changing the name of your worthless blog to ‘I Shoot My Mouth Off About Trivial Things In the Lives of Your Average Porn Whore’

  11. Hey Billy this is unrelated to your post but I heard that you have a new governor in CA. Wasn’t there a porn star who once ran for governor of CA?? lol. What’s up with that state?

  12. We do. He was the old governor. Marey Carey did run. If you look at a map, California is the far left of the US. Same goes for our thinking…well, most of our thinking. And if you look at the history of our great country, this all makes sense.

  13. First time I’ve checked the comments here. I don’t think I will again. :/

    I like your site. Especially the rants only tangential to porn. Keep writing, dude.

  14. when u pick up chicks at bars & they ask what you do in your free time do u say “well i keep a weblog on the internet about stuff i masturbate to”

    same q but for when for job applications ask about ur prior writing experience

  15. Holy shit the dudes that are posting multiple angry paragraphs need to get a fucking hobby. Try yoga or tai chi you bitter hyper active needs maybe it will calm you down.

  16. “bitter hyper active nerds*” so sorry. My blind rage a intenerds kicked in. The keyboard was a blur.

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