I recall once time on set Alexia Skye told me she was part of a stick-up crew called  “The Barbie Bandits“. When I sat down to write this, I discovered it wasn’t true.

I Googled that shit.

But that doesn’t mean Alexia lied. Maybe she was part of another crew? Who knows. What I do know is my industry is loaded with pathological liars, sociopaths, and narcissists.

Which is one of the reasons I love it so much.

One day on set I asked, “Hey Alexia, wanna sit for a living portrait?”

“What’s that?” she asked.

“I’m ripping off Andy Warhol. He used to make “screen tests” in his Factory during its heyday.”

She gave me a quizzical look.

“Just sit in the corner for 3 minutes while I roll camera. Do whatever you want. Just stay seated.”

“OK,” she said.

If you’re familiar with Andy Warhol’s 3-minute “screen tests”, then you’ll understand my “porn star screen tests”.

I made 35 or so around 2011ish, and I just found them on the same hard drive I found my “Masterpiece of Ass Theater” videos.

Warhol called them “moving portraits”, and I think he nailed that description, too.

I’ll be posting more porn star screen tests — from Ginger Lynn to names-you-probably-don’t-remember.

Or probably never heard of.

BTW it’s still great to see Shane Diesel active on twitter and, of course, Big Daddy Shane is still the undisputed King of The Cuckybois.