I Shoot Porn: You’re not an “LA Girl”. Which is to say you come here from a faraway place, shoot your ass off for a few weeks, then go home. How do you like that?

Leighlani Red: I like it. I like having “normalcy” to return to…but I need to “get out” and go home. I also get homesick really easily. I’m a big baby. I love my family, too.

ISP: Speaking of family, do they know you’re Porno?

LR: My family, my mom and dad, my older brothers, my older sister…even my grandma knows! That pretty much covers all my family. They all know, and they’re all really supportive.

ISP: Gotta man back home?

LR: No. I feel like guys back home think it’s really cool that girls do porn…but, once they get emotionally attached, they’re totally possessive. They want to be the only person to fuck you.

ISP: What made you go porno?

LR: I’m an exhibitionist. I love being seen. I love sex. I love cameras. Cameras turn me on!

ISP: So, any amateur porn you’re in…from, maybe, a dude back home?

LR: I had one ex-boyfriend. We made some movies. Then, I moved. I thought I gave him back the movies…but he says he doesn’t have them. So, they’re lost in space.

ISP: What did you do?

LR: Nothing too wild. I was still a little prudish. I didn’t even take a facial. I didn’t start doing that until I got into this business.

ISP: I think you’re the girl who was really super sweet and “nice” and the outside, but a total closet slut.

LR: Yea. Pretty much. Let me put it this way — when I started doing porn, and went back home, people were completely surprised. They thought I was “innocent”.

ISP: But you were the girl in high school that would go to another high school and be slutty in order to protect your rep, huh?

LR: That’s me. In a nutshell.

ISP: What’s the dumbest thing a director’s ever asked you to do?

LR: Have sex with him. For money. Off camera.

ISP: We call that a “private” in this business.

LR: I’m an on-camera kinda gal.

ISP: What’s your damage?

LR: I grew up in alcoholic family. My parents were drunks. They’ve been sober for over a decade. And they’re still happily married. I had to deal with them, but I didn’t get abused. I love having sex. I don’t like making love. I like to fuck. I also love the idea that guys jerk off to me. I think that’s so hot.

ISP: Were you a handful when you were growing up?

LR: Um, I was for a short period of “time”. From like 14 – 16 I was a little rebel. I tried to run with the wrong crowd. But I realized I was bad at being bad.

ISP: Who would you rather listen to — Motorhead or Christina Aguilera?

LR: Motorhead. Come on. I was raised by bikers.

ISP: We just got back from The Gloryhole. And soon on to Ice Cold, Blacks on Blondes, and an interracial cream pie. Your thoughts on any of this?

LR: Good times! I’ve had a great day. Everyone so far has been fabulous. And I’m looking forward to this last scene.

ISP: You gotta myspace?

LR: Yes.

ISP: I think everyone has a myspace. Anyway…now, time for a private. I’m gonna pay you lotsa money to fuck you off camera. Let’s go!

LR: No! I’m no whore…I just play one on TV!

I Shoot Porn: So tell me about your company again.

Cassidy Blue: It’s called Cassidy’s CoEds, and I have a dozen girls (or so) who work for me. They do private parties, bachelor parties, couples’ shows, strip-o-grams, and much more.

ISP: Can I get laid?

CB: Good luck!

ISP: What you’re telling me is there’s no sex? It’s kinda like the champagne room??

CB: Actually, no. I have sex with myself.

ISP: And all your other girls have sex with themselves?

CB: Sometimes. Depends on the girl. Some do toy shows, some do couples’ shows.

ISP: Define a “couple’s show”.

CB: A couple — a guy and a girl — want a dancer to spice up their sex life! So they order a stripper. There’s a lot of verbal help, talking dirty, and I watch them fuck. Basically.

ISP: WOW! So I can order you up and watch you and another girl get freaky?

CB: Oh yea!

ISP: And where do I do this at?

CB: Cassidy’s Co-Eds!

ISP: You’re quite the entrepreneur! What else do you have your hands in?

CB: Photography. I also have a “real” job, too. And I go to school, too.

ISP: You’re a busy little bee. How’d you get into porno?

CB: I was bored and looking for something crazy to do. I was wondering how people get started with porn, so I typed-in “porn star jobs” and there ya go! I got a job, and it was with Mark Lasts doing a b/b/g bj scene.

ISP: How many scenes have to done total?

CB: Oh, around 50.

ISP: You’ve got a dude, too?

CB: Yep. I have lots.

ISP: What’s that mean?

CB: I’m kidding. I have one. We’ve been together over three years, and he’s OK with me doing porn. He was actually with me when I discovered Porn Star Jobs. In fact, he wished me luck today!

ISP: You’re gonna need it, cause you’re doing a DP with an anal cream pie for Dripping Cream Pies!

CB: Gulp!

Alexia Sky: I want a middle name. I want to be different. But they won’t let me do it…I want to be Alexia Malibu Sky.

I Shoot Porn: Hold on. I ask the questions. But continue. Why do you want to be Alexia Malibu Sky?

AS: I dunno.

ISP: Wait a second! Is that a hickey on your neck?!

AS: NO!

ISP: Yes it is!

AS: Um, yea. I got it from this girl I’m fighting with. She’s like a roommate and we’re fighting now.

ISP: Are you guys in love?

AS: No. It was just a one-night thing.

ISP: So you guys did dyke out, right?

AS: There was a guy involved. I think his name is Nick Manning. That’s his name, right? He looks like the guy from Beauty and the Beast…the guy at the end of the movie. Not the Beast…but the guy with the long hair.

ISP: I think they’re making fun of Nick Manning on the Howard Stern show. He screams real loud when he cums, and he says stupid things…is that him?

AS: I dunno.

ISP: But wait a second. So you guys had a three way?

AS: Yes.

ISP: Off camera, right?

AS: Yea. It’s funny. He walks around in a robe whenever he’s home, and when he wants sex, he just opens his robe, and then he drops it, and he’s just naked.

ISP: And then you fucked him?

AS: (Laughing hard) Yes! It’s so stupid that you’re writing this!

ISP: Was it any good?

AS: It was fun having a threesome.

ISP: Why are you and the girl fighting?

AS: Maybe it’s because we’ve been out here a month, staying in a hotel, stuck around each other…we’re just getting tired of each other. She’s just jealous, too. Cause she’s in love with Tommy Gun, and he flirted with me.

ISP: So how did you get the hickey?

AS: How do you think?

ISP: Well…was it a nice hickey? Or a sexed-up hickey? Or was she marking you??

AS: Pretty much I guess. I mean I have to look at the hickey every time I look in the mirror. So she marked me.

ISP: How’d you get into this biz?

AS: I was a dancer at Escapades in Fort Myers, FL. That’s how I met Persia. She used to be in porn, and I was like “I wanna try it” and the next thing you know I’m on a plane coming out to LA.

ISP: How many scenes have you shot so far?

AS: I dunno. Maybe 10 at the most.

ISP: Do you do anal?

AS: Fuck no! I don’t like that at all…even in my personal life. I hate it.

ISP: Are you slutty in your personal life?

AS: Yes. Look at my shorts! (She came to my studio in the shortest shorts I’ve ever seen a girl wear in public). I got kicked out of the mall back home by the security guards!! They said I wasn’t allowed to wear these anymore at the mall! See, when I go to the mall, I like attention. I get all sorts of attention when I wear these. Anyways, I was like “what’s going on?” cause every security guard in the mall was following me. I was worried they thought I stole something. One of the guards came up to me and said “next time you come to this mall wear longer shorts!!” I said yea, and he looked at my ass while I walked away.

ISP: That’s great. What’s the sluttiest thing you’ve ever done?

AS: One time me and Persia met a cute guy. He was sleeping in his room, at Nick Manning’s house. Anyways we decided to rape him. He didn’t want to, cause he’s in the business, and he had a scene the next day, but we assured him he was dreaming and that everything was OK. And we raped him.

ISP: God I love you. Will you marry me?

AS: It was funny though, cause we just walked into his room, and he was sleeping, and me and Persia jumped his bones and fucked him.

ISP: God I love you. Will you marry me?

AS: (Laughs) He didn’t even nut. I was so pissed. He wouldn’t nut cause he had a scene the next day, and he had to save his nut for that. He still did us. Of course he wouldn’t do that. It was hot. I wanna do that again.

ISP: God I love you. Will you marry me?

AS: I mean imagine that he was really sleeping! I wanna rape a guy while he’s sleeping!

ISP: God I love you. Will you marry me?

AS: (Laughs harder) Do I have to answer that?

ISP: Yes. Right now.

AS: No comment!

I Shoot Porn: It’s your birthday today. How’s it feel to be 19?

Sasha Grey: I’m glad that the 18 year old thing can no longer be applied to my scenes.

ISP: But it’s just a marketing tool, right?

SG: Exactly.

ISP: What kind of guitar do you play? And can you play it well?

SG: It’s a Epiphone acoustic. And I have a really shitty Strat, cause it’s not a real Fender. And I can’t play either one well at all.

ISP: Who’s the greatest guitar player ever?

SG: I’d start with Hendrix. Then Tony Iommi, and Eric Clapton. Jimmy Page. And Billy Corghan is pretty good. Peter Hook’s an amazing bass player…it’s how he stylized his playing. Not really his playing, per se. It’s his style and sound. You hear that a lot now.

ISP: Um…Corghan ain’t no Hendrix.

SG: But he’s good. And he does all the work.

ISP: So you’re saying that Japanese guy in Smashing Pumpkins didn’t work?

SG: You mean Jimmy? Yea, Billy did most of the work.

ISP: It’s not often you have a porn actress that’s into Italian neo-realism and foreign art house movies. Where’d that come from?

SG: I was always interested in film. When I was 15 I started going to an art house in Sacramento. My teacher just fed it to me. Gave me a list of movies to watch, and I did it.

ISP: Did you ever find the copy of “Salo” you were looking for?

SG: No! But Criterion’s got a sister company that’s reissuing it.

ISP: There’s a ton of porn whores from Sac Town.

SG: I know Trina Michaels is…and Monique Alexander. Someone told me that about Monique, anyway…but I dunno.

ISP: Cherry Poppens is from Sacremento. And so is Kaycee Dean…just off the top of my head.

SG: I haven’t heard of them.

ISP: Where do you want to go with porn… beyond porn. And what do you see Sasha Grey doing 5 years from now?

SG: I want to direct movies of my own. In five years I see myself doing that, and maybe still directing. Also traveling the world and making films.

ISP: You mean serious film?

SG: Yes. Indie films.

ISP: Can porn be art?

SG: Of course it can!

ISP: I totally disagree with you. But don’t get me started. What’s the dumbest thing a director’s asked you to do?

SG: Oh god! There’s many of those! Um, I had to fuck this ridiculously large dildo. And pretend it was a real cock. They’re nice people, but it’s a fake dick.

ISP: Yea, that’s dumb. At Blacks On Blondes we only use the real thing. Did you like your birthday present today?

SG: Yes! I did. It was very fulfilling!

ISP: What do you got to plug?

SG: Sasha Gray dot com — of course!

I Shoot Porn: So, tell me how you got into this silly game we call Pornography.

Satine Phoenix: I started as a stripper at the Hustler Club in San Francisco. I kicked some habits, had to stop dancing, decided to start fetish modeling, and someone said, “Why don’t you try fetish bondage videos?” and I said why not? I got comfortable being naked in front of a camera. That was at Kink.com. From there I learned girl-girl was ok, and then penetration was ok, and then I moved to LA and started doing Vanilla Porn. I couldn’t help but have some sex with some boys while I was at it. Being a swinger helps!

ISP: So you know all the SF fetish girls I love so dearly: Lorilei Lee, Adrianna Nicole, and Bobbi Starr.

SP: I don’t know Bobbi, but I know Dana Di Armond. She taught me how to douche. Do you know Ariel X?

ISP: Nope.

SP: She’s one of my best girlfriends from SF. Our masochism matches. She’s fucking crazy and slutty like me.

ISP: What’s the sluttiest thing you’ve ever done?

SP: Well, in a nutshell, I like to organize orgies. That’s pretty slutty, right?

ISP: Yea, it is…but it’s kinda sterile. Sterile Sluttiness. You know what I mean?

SP: I got one for you. I haven’t told this to anyone in an interview…yet. When I was 17, there were these two boys. My friends. We were fooling around in one of their bedrooms. They had a video camera; I had an idea. I asked them to tie me to one of their workout benches. They put a mask on me, so no one could recognize me. They tied my arms above my head, and turned the camera on. This was all my idea, by the way. They started using objects on me. In me. In my pussy. I don’t remember exactly what they used on me, but the last one was a toothbrush. We didn’t have safe words. We didn’t know about them. So, I said, “OK, that’s enough!” Cause toothbrushes hurt. Especially electric toothbrushes. I got nervous, and I asked to finish. So I watched the video, and I told them to destroy it. They agreed. He was my best friend at that time. So I left, and then, a couple months later, I’m walking down the halls at school, and all of a sudden I hear, “HEY TOOTHBRUSH!”, and it hit me all like a ton of bricks. I was like NO FUCKING WAY. See, the problem was, I had a mask on…but I didn’t cover my tattoo that I gave myself when I was 15. It’s a tiny Ankh, and it’s so small. I asked the guys about it, and of course they lied and said they knew nothing about it…and then, graduation day. We’re at the back of the line. We wanted to walk in last, but so did The Jocks. We got into a huge discussion — The Theater Kids and The Jocks — and all of a sudden The Jocks started chanting “TOOTHBRUSH TOOTHBRUSH TOOTHBRUSH!” and I started crying. I ran up the stairs, tried to throw a swing at one of the Jocks and missed…and I walked up to a cop who was there, and the cop made me go to the front of the line. I was crying my eyes out as I graduated.

ISP: That’s a beautiful story. I used to be one of those jocks.

SP: Oh yea? I was a “naughty” friend to one of those jocks. He was cool, but he’d only talk to me in class. He told me all his perversions and I’d let him borrow my naughty XXX books.

ISP: I woulda been that guy.

SP: I wish I knew where he was now. He was really hot. I’d fuck him.

ISP: What’s the dumbest thing a director’s ever asked you to do?

SP: I went to set to watch a friend’s scene. I’d never seen a boy-girl scene. It was a boy-boy-girl scene. The girl showed up, and she was all cracked out. It was one of those dirty-mattress-in-a-room sets. I asked the director if I could sit around and watch. He offered me $100 to sit on camera and watch. I was going to play with myself anyway. So, the guys couldn’t get it up cause the girl was so nasty. I mean she was cracked. So I played with myself while they watched. It made them hard so they could fuck her. So they fucked her…and they filmed me playing with myself. I ended up on the box cover! And awhile later I met up with a friend of mine who was at a peepshow, and he saw my picture on the boxcover, went in and started dropping quarters into the machine, and kept putting more quarters thinking I was going to jump in.

ISP: But you never did!

SP: Nope! It’s fucking brilliant though.

ISP: It really was genius marketing. Put a hot girl on a box cover, and you can sell a crack whore movie without a problem! Do you watch porn?

SP: I do! I love fetish stuff. Lots of beating. Anal sex. Nasty stuff, too. Stuff like outside sex with flies buzzing around!

ISP: So you’re gonna love our trip to the Gloryhole!

SP: Sweet!

ISP: Wanna mention your site?

SP: Satine Phoenix. And soon SlaveSatine.com Satine Phoenix is about me as a slutty fashion model, porn star, and artist…and Slave Satine is about me being a slave and having doms beat me like I like to get beaten…and how the fans like me to be beaten.

ISP: Can I beat the shit out of you right now?

SP: OK!

I Shoot Porn: Hey Emma! Tell everyone how you got into the dirty movie business.

Emma Cummings: Through you, of course!

ISP: Tell everyone how, exactly.

EC: My fiancé found the audition / casting call link, and he had me e-mail you. I then swapped information with you and called you. We talked and you introduced me to LA Direct where I signed and have been getting work from ever since.

ISP: You know I get so many dudes e-mailing me…and hardly any girls. And all the girls who do e-mail aren’t really serious. I’m glad I got you hooked up! How many scenes have you shot, and who have they been with?

EC: I’ve done three. I worked with T Reel for Red Light. Then Jack Lawrence for Naughty America. And then…um. It was a Hustler Barely Legal scene with a new guy…Alan Stamford.

ISP: So what do you think so far?

EC: I love it! I get to get fucked and I get paid to do it! I’m in control the whole time. What I’ll do — and what I won’t do — are made clear before I start shooting. It’s not a dirty set-up where you’re forced into things you don’t want.

ISP: So would you go as far as to say pornographer are nice people?

EC: Yes! So far everyone I’ve worked with have been nice and really considerate. Some have been crazy, but that’s OK.

ISP: Define crazy.

EC: Hyperactive. Very excited. In a good way, though.

ISP: Do you think they’re getting hyperactive over your beautiful teen Latina tits and ass?

EC: Definitely ass. Juan Cuba went crazy over my ass! Everyone on set was, like, I would love to touch that ass!

ISP: Can I see your ass?

EC: Of course! (She jumps off my bed, stands next to me, and pulls her pants down. I snap the pic).

ISP: WOW! That is a beautiful teen Latina ass. May I touch it?

EC: Of course! (I grope her ass and rub myself like a pervy creep).

ISP: Have you met any pervy creeps yet?

EC: Um, no. You’re the first!

ISP: Do you like pervy creeps?

EC: You’re pretty cool!

ISP: How did you come up with your last name?

EC: I was sitting in my agent’s office, and I was trying to come up with something that would sound good with “Emma”, and I wanted “Cums”…but they said “Cummings”. I didn’t know about Barbie Cummings then, or I would have come up with somthing different. Now people are gonna think we’re related. (Laughs)

ISP: We can have two Cummings in porn.

EC: The more cumming the better!

ISP: Before you got into porn, would you have considered yourself a sexual person?

EC: Yes, since the age of 12. Um, I’ve been extremely horny since about that. I’ve found myself wanting sex day and night. My dad would end up walking into my room in the middle of the night cause I was moaning so loudly. He was worried my mom would think there was something bad going on between us! I would play with myself a lot. I used a table candle! It was a thin, long one. I would watch porn when my parents weren’t home and play with the candle!

ISP: What kind of porn were you watching?

EC: Regular old sex movies. People fucking. Hardcore shit.

ISP: What’s your favorite part of porn, as a viewer?

EC: The actual fucking part. Watching a guy fuck a girl was my main “get off” point.

ISP: How old were you when you got laid?

EC: Surprisingly enough it wasn’t until I was 17.

ISP: Sucking?

EC: Oh! I started blowing guys when I was 14. I hate to swallow, so I let the guys blow on my face.

ISP: That’s hot! What about non-porno stuff? Like, what do you like to do? Hobbies?

EC: I write Harry Potter fan fiction. And sex scenes.

ISP: Huh? Harry Potter fan fiction? WTF?

EC: You take characters from the Harry Potter and you make up your own plots…mine are always romance, which means there’s lotsa sex.

ISP: Is Harry well-hung in your stories?

EC: Everyone’s well hung! Except Ron Weasley. He’s always the bad guy in my stories.

ISP: In your stories, is Hermione a black cock slut?

EC: She’s never fucked a black cock, but anything’s possible!

ISP: Can Billy Watson become a wizard in one of your stories?

EC: Yea, you’ll be my next guest star!

ISP: Good. Make sure my I’m well hung, too.

EC: Yes, of course…and we’ll do a double vag with Hermione!

I Shoot Porn: So, you’ve been interviewed before…what’s some questions no one’s ever asked you before?

Riley Shy: You smoke weed?

ISP: No one’s ever asked you if you smoke weed?

RS: No! I see there’s a pipe by your bed.

ISP: Oh, yea. I smoke a little weed sometimes. I can’t sleep through the night much anymore. Kinda weird. A hit or two off a pipe and a glass of red wine and I sleep like I did when I was 16. Do you smoke?

RS: Yea, I have a cannabis card.

ISP: How did you get the card?

RS: I actually walked by a dispensary. It smelled really good, so I kinda looked in, and they ended up offering me a job. I laughed cause I really don’t need a job. But then he said if I worked there, I could get my weed 1/2 off.

ISP: So you took the job?

RS: I did! For about a week. But it conflicted with my shooting schedule, so I quit. But they liked me, so I still get the discount. It all worked out.

ISP: So you actually like your porno job?

RS: I love sex. I was extremely sexually adventurous before I got into porn. It wasn’t much of a change from my normal, day-to-day life…as far as sex was involved.

ISP: OK – can we talk about off-camera sex? Like, what’s the craziest thing you ever did off-camera?

RS: I had sex in the back of my parent’s car…while they were in it.

ISP: That’s hot. With a boy or a girl?

RS: With a boy. It was a long time ago. In a Dodge Durango. They’re really long, and we were in the back, and I was wearing a skirt, so it was easy. He hiked up my skirt, and I was really quiet, and the motions were really slow. I was really nervous, but we both came really fast cause we were so nervous.

ISP: And your parents had no clue?

RS: I wouldn’t be standing here if they had a clue.

ISP: What’s the dumbest thing a director’s ever asked you to do?

RS: What’s dumb?

ISP: Well, a lot of girls mention Chico Wang. Not that he’s dumb…but he asks girls to do dumb stuff. Dumb but funny. Well, I think it’s funny.

RS: That’s funny! I was just thinking about him. I don’t remember what it was for, but he had me act like a chicken. I had to cluck and invert my body all retarded and then slide down a Slip n’ Slide naked.

ISP: That’s Chico. Would you cluck like a chicken right now for me? In my bedroom? While I pleasure myself?

RS: (laughs) I would love to!

ISP: Hey, really quick, before you cluck like a chicken…do you have a website?

RS: I have two! One’s softcore – LoveRileyShy.com – and a hardcore site – RileyShyXXX.com. They’re not ready yet, but they will be, soon.

ISP: Wow! That’s kinda cool and new. It’s hard enough to run one site, let alone two.

RS: As of now I’m running them…but I might hire a webmaster.

ISP: Can I fuck you for your hardcore site? I’m tested you know.

RS: (Laughs) You’ll have to call my agent.

I Shoot Porn: You’re Mormon?

Daryn Darby: Mmm-hmm. Oh! You’re actually interviewing me right now!

ISP: Yes I am. The reason I bring up this Mormon thing is I know about The Mormon Thang. They shove so much kooky theology down your thoat it almost preps you to get into porn. Thank you, Joseph Smith, for all your brilliant insight!

DD: They’re so weird they make you wear garments, and your bra goes over your garments so it doesn’t touch your skin, and they tell you no sex until you serve a mission, and marry in the temple, and, really, I don’t think Mormons even have sex. But that wouldn’t be true cause they populate like gerbils.

ISP: I’m a part-time Arizona resident, and they’re everywhere.

DD: I lived in Arizona for a week. My mom sent me away to live with my aunt, cause I threw a party at her house after she sold it, and she was away, and it was a 2 day party cause I was pissed we were moving, and the house was trashed. 10 grand to fix it. So I was shipped away, first to my dad’s in California, and I was there for only a week cause he had a heart attack. I didn’t give him his pills in time and he almost died. So I got sent away again, and my mom didn’t want me, so I ended up in Arizona.

ISP: Were you a problem child?

DD: Wait a second. I wanna talk about my mom dropping me off at the airport to send me away. The bitch dropped me off 10 hours early with no money so I’d just have to wait there. Then, the flight ended up getting cancelled, so I had go back home, and she wouldn’t let me sleep in her house, so my sister (the “favorite child”…even though my mom won’t admit it) made me sleep in her toy room, on the floor.

ISP: I feel sorry for you.

DD: Yes. Me too. Anyway, I got sent to boot camp in Mexico for four months after I lost my virginity to a Satanic priest named Smokey. I was 14 and he was…um, way older than me. On my 14th birthday I got drunk and smoked weed for the first time and lost my virginity to Smokey and we would get all wasted in motel rooms and he’d read Bible scripture to me. It was totally weird.

ISP: Um…I don’t know what to say about Smokey. What was Mexican bootcamp like?

DD: It was called “High Impact” and they shut it down two years ago cause there’s no abuse laws in Mexico and a girl died from exhaustion. They beat the shit out of me. Dislocated my shoulder, and I had to go through a year and a half a heat-rash therapy cause the sun’s so hot. Pretty much all you do is walk around in circles and listen to a priest talk about how he was an alcoholic and we were quizzed on his lectures. It was brain-numbing. Eat the same food everyday: oatmeal for breakfast, beans and rice for lunch (it was fucking gross, too…no seasoning…nothing) and boiled chicked thigh for dinner. Gross! And excercises after you ate. It sucked.

ISP: Were you rehabilitated?

DD: No, I was even more fucked up after I left, but I can count to 1000 in Spanish and understand when someone yells at me in Spanish. You know the old saying “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?” Well, I’m hardcore in the gym, now. I’m a drill seargeant.

ISP: You’re hardcore in private life?

DD: Yea, pretty much. I think more like a guy now.

ISP: Like in sex, too? Do you think like a guy in sex? Or, does being in this biz make you think more like a guy?

DD: No. I just get what I want when I want it.

ISP: The dumbest thing a director’s ever asked you to do?

DD: Um…let me think. After three years in porn I’ve done some stupid shit….oh yea. Run around a pool table with balls in my ass. You know, the balls you play pool with.

ISP: Billiard balls? Were they in your asshole?

DD: No…that’s gross! I have a big ass, so they fit in my ass crack. Just one though. My ass isn’t that big!

ISP: What’s one thing no one’s ever asked you in a porn interview?

DD: No one’s ever asked me to give them a blowjob.

ISP: Will you give me a blow job?

DD: Will you pay me? Wait! I’m gonna give you a blowjob…not you, really.

ISP: Who?

DD: I dunno. We’re going to the gloryhole, and that’s the whole point of the gloryhole, right? I have no idea who I’m blowing.

ISP: Yes we are my love. And you’re right…you won’t have a clue who’s behind the wall. And neither will I.

DD: Rock on! And tell people about my site. It’s almost ready to go…lots of lesbian action! I also had sex on a rock. It’s Daryn Darby XXX.

Bree showed up at my studio today to shoot her scene for Blacks On Blondes. She was pissed.

I Shoot Porn: You’re pissed at me. Why?

Bree: Because you made me out to be something I’m not.

ISP: Explain in detail. Did I lie about our day and dinner?

B: Well, I’ll put it like this – just because I don’t know what a caper is doesn’t mean I couldn’t tell you everything about molecular biology or advanced geometry.

ISP: See, this is perfect. Now we can hash this out. So, the reason you’re pissed is cause you feel I made you look like a typical dumb porn whore.

B: Not only did you make me look like that, but you said I looked down at my food like any other porn chick and made a stupid comment.

ISP: But here’s what I said: “Bree looked at me for a long second, and then down at her food. Like most of the porno chicks I’ve had dinner with, she really didn’t eat a thing. “Hey, what are these little green thingys in my food?”” So, to me, that doesn’t make you sound dumb.

B: OK. I have a reply. My bad…whatever. Still, you commented on this guy that I’m so severly hurting. But I totally deserve anything I get out of him cause I’m giving him the best years of his life.

ISP: I said – at dinner and today when you arrived and we were talking about this – that you’re the most brutally honest person I’ve had dinner with in a long, long time, and I admire that. It’s even why I quoted William Vollmann’s comment about prostitution being the most honest form of love. My only hang up with you, and it’s a tiny one, is that you need to tell him you want a sugar daddy.

B: OK. Well…

(Suddenly, Bree’s phone rings. She talks to a dude, and she’s super sweet. Listening to her talk to whoever it is, I almost kinda caught myself developing a crush on Bree. She talks to him for about five minutes.)

ISP: Who’s that?

B: That’s the infamous Sugar Daddy.

ISP: Wow! It almost sounds like you really like him.

B: Well, what you failed to mention in your previous blog is that I DO like him, and there was a CHANCE I might get divorced, but there’s a chance I might stay with him…and even have a baby with him.

ISP: Will you have a baby with me?

B: (laughs) Hmmmm. No. And I’ve got one more thing to say. There are four types of fish in the sea…there’s mean guys with no money, and there’s nice guys with no money. Then there’s mean guys with money, and nice guys with money. So…what’s wrong with with being taken care of with a nice guy with money?

ISP: See. That’s the way you should have put it at dinner last month…when you were trying to figure out what those little green thingys were in your food.

B: You fuckin’ bitch. Plus, I didn’t feel the need to defend myself.

ISP: Why are you in porn?

B: Money.

ISP: How’d you get into it?

B: SexyJobs.

ISP: Do you like me better now than you did when we started today?

B: Yes.

ISP: Can I grope you?

B: For money.

ISP: Can I fuck you?

B: For more money.

ISP: Can I piss in your mouth?

B: For a LOT of money! Can I pee on you?

ISP: Bree baby…I will let you piss all over me for nothing.

I Shoot Porn: Look at your picture in the make-up artist’s chair after your Spunkmouth scene. Man, you look beat. Did my make-up artist massage away all your post-multi-cum shots-in-the-face stress?

Kaycee Dean: Yea! She’s got magic hands!! And (in an English accent) dirty pillows!

ISP: All that jizz in your eyes, burns, huh?

KD: Fuck yea it does! Plus the make up!!

ISP: Not an easy way to make your money, is it – having Faceblaster, Johnny Fender, and Lefty La Rue glue your eyes shut?

KD: I guess that’s just what to expect in this biz.

ISP: Did my make-up artist’s 36 DDD’s feel like soft, velvety pillows on the back of your head?

KD: Oh, God yea they did!

ISP: So, how old are you?

KD: 18. Just barely.

ISP: And even though you’re barely-legal, you aren’t a newbie to the sex business, are you?

KD: Nope. I’ve been a stripper and a model for sometime.

ISP: Barely-legal and stripping for “sometime”?

KD: Duh…fake ID! I learned how to make fake ID’s in Photoshop.

ISP: So you photoshopped an ID, went to a strip joint, and started to work?

KD: I went to Amateur Night, and at the time the winning prize was $250 and a job. Um, I won. And I could take the prize, or the job, or the prize and the job. I took it all!

ISP: An underaged stripper-turned-18-turned porno slut. I love it! What do you do in your spare time?

KD: Party. Party. Party. Partypartyparty. I love to party. I also like to work on my ’79 Camaro Z 28. I street race.

ISP: What’s your private sex life like?

KD: Very busy. That’s all I’m gonna say.

ISP: Gotta boyfriend?

KD: Nope.

ISP: We just got back from the Gloryhole …your feelings on it?

KD: Um, gggllorrrriousss! (laughs)

ISP: Well, next up is Blacks On Blondes. What’s going through your teen mind walking on to a set to work with a guy named Sledgehammer who has dick as big as a 40 ounce can of beer?

KD: It’s not that big. Don’t fucking tell me that.

ISP: Oh, yes it is.

KD: I’m nervous. Nervous as shit.

ISP: Well, maybe you should let my big-titted make-up goddess rub another out for you before the scene?

KD: Um, yea, I think that’s a good idea.