Today’s Guest Blogger: The Minion (and His Chico Chronicles, Part 3)

Super Minion

From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

Doron’s “Chico Chronicles” is planned in 5 parts, but somehow I think he could write a book here. Lots of broad strokes that I’d like to see with more detail, but hey, like I said — I don’t edit or influence my guest bloggers in any way.

I clocked in a few months with Chico Wang. I was getting web content ready for him and he’d upload it. I continued setting up lights and other tasks that go along with being a production assistant. Quite often he would mock me in front of complete strangers and those in the industry.

Did I make my share of mistakes? Of course. Ask John Strong, Steve Holmes, and Tony T. I fucked up my share of what I was supposed to do. Sometimes computer equiment would malfunction and I was the reason why. In a “normal” world I would have been fired. Then again, Chico had other plans for me and that would include a website like none other.

Did I make careless mistakes as well? Absolutely. You see, I’m not completely innocent but I made sure to treat those around me with some respect………if that means anything these days. In fact, looking back I can admit that I should have stuck up for myself when people who weren’t Wanker would talk down to me because they felt since Chico did it then it was all fair game. Some of those people are no longer in porn and they can go suck a fat dick.

I eventually decided to not participate in the Britney Madison scene since another humiliating scenario didn’t appeal to me at all. Chico and I went to the Cheesecake Factory one night where Britney and her female roommate spent a great deal of time trying to convince me to do it. The late Britney obviously wanted a payday from Chico and Chico would be happy to oblige if it meant 30 minutes or so of footage where I made a fool of myself. Allow me to make the point that I could have said “fuck it” and left the business. I didn’t and I won’t bore you with whatever reasons I still have for not bailing out 3 years ago.

The scene was set: I was at Britney’s pool sun bathing and she came in and oiled me up. Remember, Chico laughed like a hyena and his camera would shake from his laughing. She oiled me up, took me to her apartment, and proceeded to feed me. She sucked my cock and I stuck it in her ass. Before you knew it I blew my load and I beat myself up over more than Chico did. Chico said that it actually worked out better since that footage was to be for a porn jackass themed site.

We had one scene in the can and much, much more were to come. I felt like the future was going to see a minion site that college frats would play on Saturday nights….at least that’s what super editor Kurt once said.

Remember, this was February 2004. It eventually got to the point where I would come into the office and Chico would be showing random people the various video segments he shot of me. He constantly told me that I would get a percentage of the site when it was to come out. He never said exactly how much and you can chalk that up to me being naive at the time. I wanted to believe that one day someone would log onto my site, see the tour, and whip out their credit card to join.

Scene after scene was shot. I had various food like spaghetti, fruit juices, and other messy items tossed onto me while the girl called me an assortment of names such as “small dick” and the ever so popular, “fat fuck”. Chico’s shooting house on White Oak became like the Combat Zone. The infamous yellow couch, which Faceblaster can attest to, was soaked with every performer’s DNA. Chico used to joke that, “You could perform sexual crimes in this house and they’d never nail me on DNA evidence. It seems odd now knowing what I know.”

Cleaning the house after each shoot was a chore but in my mind it was worth it since moments earlier I was draining my ballsack into some chick’s mouth for a site I believed was in the works. Times were not fun.

Around April of 2004 my work was slipping and I became a miserable person. I would come in at 1 and leave by 6. I did the bare minimum and looking back that wasn’t the best way to go about things. Chico was like a sponge……..once soaked with Bud Light. He might have been drunk a lot but he would remember things especially if he could use it against you. For example: Let’s say you fuck up anything. You go months doing a flawless job and manage to fuck up again. He would remind you time and time again of the initial screw up. That’s how he was.

He got fed up and in late March 2004 he suspended me. Little did I know that I’d be back in a few weeks. He could have had another P.A in a heartbeat but he took me back after a lengthy telephone call in which he spoke in a sober manner. I didn’t know at the time but he was given the green light to shoot scenes with me getting beat up by porn chicks (which didn’t bother me. I actually enjoyed it). He would need me back in order to secure that deal and unemployment was a bitch. I would come back to work in April but the landscape was changing. He brought in Ricky D to do web work and eventualy edit for him. Little did I know that Chico would fuck up that relationship as well as many others.

Little did I know that 6 1/2 years earlier Chico was in an LA courtroom on charges of pistol whipping a woman and sexual assault.

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