Super Fun E-Mails.

Bree Olson

TC writes:

Hi, My name is TC i live south of boston i have recently came across your web site and would like to introduce my proposal to be a talent scout for your company. Even tho i am 18 i have girls naked on a weekly basic and feel as tho i will later be able to start my own company as well, but for now i would like to support the cause and see if you would be interested in further talk towards this subject. I personaly feel as tho i would be able to bring your company to new heights with the acces that i have towards girls who like to get naked for me, free of charge who only knows what they’ll do for some bill’s. get back in touch with me soon if your interested in hearing my intirety.


Heya TC!

Before I made dirty movies, I taught people how to write – essays and research papers, primarily. It was an honorable living, and, at the end of the day, I felt great. It’s really something to work – and get paid – to help improve a person’s life, even though it’s a modest living.

Very modest.

Now I make more money, but I no longer help people better their lives, unless you include helping horny dudes launch their loads all over their computer keyboards as a betterment to a life; in that case, if you judge my deeds solely on that criteria, then I’m destined for Sainthood.

With that being said, I’d like to give you a piece of advice…if for no other reason than to simply help better your chances for employment in the future: please don’t write another thing to anyone, ever again…no matter what it is. Don’t write to all the girls you manage to get naked on a weekly basis; for goodness sakes don’t write to a potential employer; I’d even stay away from writing mom or dad, even if it’s their birthday. Just stop writing, right now, and never do it again.

Somehow, I don’t think you do it too much, anyhow – writing, that is.

On a completely different note, how is it, exactly, that you manage to bed numerous chicks on a weekly basis? You really don’t address that in your e-mail, and I’ll be the first to admit there is absolutely no correlation between getting laid and a person’s ability to write a letter, or a paragraph…or even a novel or short story.

Just look at me.

The same thing can’t be said for poetry; even bad poets seem to find an equally bad audience, and this is why most poets get laid.

Maybe I should start to write poems?

To digress even further, it’s late, and my very good friend just left to go back home to Tennessee, and I’m sitting here with my dogs, and my satellite radio is singing to me, and, to tell you the truth, it’s lonely here in my Ghetto Porno Studio.

So here’s a picture of Bree Olson, just cause you were nice enough to drop me a line. No one’s ever seen it before, except my Friend from Tennessee. I just shot Bree Sunday for a new site I’m about to develop. And she’s the latest update at Spunkmouth. Did I mention how her scene turned out over at Spunkmouth? My God! When you join Spunkmouth, you’ll see…it doesn’t get much better when it comes to filthy, dirty movies. I think she’s the very best thing to hit Porno Valley since, well, hmmmm – maybe Barbie Cummings.

Or Sasha Gray.

Finally, I’ll have to decline your kind offer to be my Northeast Talent Scout, but I appreciate your interest in doing so. You might want to hit the dude from Exploited Teens up on your offer – he’s in your neck of the woods.

Just have someone else write the e-mail for you.

As always – your pal Billy

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *