The Minion

The Minion

When I was in junior high, I had a Social Studies teacher who was a total hippy. He’d play records while we were working on whatever it was we were working on that day. One of his records was “The Worst of Jefferson Airplane”, and I’d always wonder why anyone would name anything “The Worst” of…until now.

This blog’s original air date: October 22, 2005.

1. An obsequious follower or dependent; a sycophant.
2. A subordinate official.
3. One who is highly esteemed or favored; a darling.

[French mignon, darling, from Old French mignot, mignon.]

He’s 6’4″ – maybe more.

He weighs 320 pounds – maybe more.

His penis is 4 inches long – maybe less.

And they call him The Minion.

Everything I tell you here is true, so with that being understood, let’s talk about The Minion. When he first got into the porn biz a while back, he was a virgin. Well, that’s not entirely true. Once time he paid a whore to fuck him, but he only got 2 pumps in before it was all over. And now – a year or so later and thanks to the help of Diabolic/Anabolic director Chico Wang – he’s fucked 70 or 80 of the hottest porn stars working today: Courtney Cummz, Luci Thai, Alicia Alighatti, Kat, Chanel Chavez, Sativa Rose, and a shitload more.

You see him here from tonight’s shoot with Alisha Alighatti.

I just left a few hours ago.

I think I’ll tell you how it went down: The Minion starts with a dozen Jumbo Jacks in front of him. He’s nude, with just a towel wrapped around him. He’s laying on Chico’s floor with the burgers. They’re laid out to form a perfect burger pyramid. There’s also a large container of maple syrup, as well as 2 large cans of whipped cream. As he begins to devour the hamburgers, he starts this nutty rant on Italians.

See, Alisha is Italian, so The Minion wants to get her all worked up.

So from bad jokes about Italian food, to why the Italians lost WWII, to Mafia jokes, The Minion covers all bases. He leaves nothing out. All the while shoving Jumbo Jack after Jumbo Jack down his throat…while chugging maple syrup in between.

Does this have you all sexed up yet?

If not, then enter Alisha. She’s maybe 5’5″, 105 pounds; she’s got perfect tits to match her perfect ass, and full lips with bright blue eyes. And she’s pissed from all the Italian jokes. She’s holding a long piece of PVC pipe in her hands. So the first thing she does is whack The Minion across his back.

“Is that all you have, byatch?” The Minion asks.

Alisha cracks him again, way harder this time. He howls. Then, after Alisha squirts him down with whipped cream, she yells a bunch more at him…then shoves more Jumbo Jack down his throat. Repeat a few times. Then they proceed to fuck and suck. The whole time I’m sitting behind the lights, watching this whole deal go down. And I’m pinching my nose and covering my mouth, trying to hold back the laughter.

I wish I could remember some of The Minion’s lines. Most were priceless. He burped a lot, and spit food all over Alisha. All the while I was kinda drunk, and trying to send my little brother and Spring Thomas the shitty video clips I was shooting from my cell phone.

It was that kinda night…

They fuck and suck for about 40 minutes. Well, the actual fuck/suck time was much less. The Minion had a hard time keeping his dick hard. I dunno if it was the large welts on his back from the PVC pipe, or all Alisha’s verbal abuse about how little his dick was…but he did manage to fuck and suck and blow his nut right down her throat.

So what’s the point of tonight’s blog, anyway?

Maybe the real question here is…who’s getting taken advantage of here? The poor Minion, who took some of the most severe and raunchy verbal abuse I’ve ever heard a girl yell? Poor Alisha Alighatti, who – for about 750 clams – had to suck and fuck this beast of a man…then swallow his large, sticky load? Or is it us…the ones who get to witness this car wreck?

You be the judge.

The Minion

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