I had a bad day at work today.
It’s really nice shooting content for a bunch of different sites, cause I can book one girl for the whole day. Booking a girl for a full day’s work has its advantages: she shows up happy and in a good mood cause I’ve given her anywhere from 3 to 5 “jobs” that day; she’s making a lot of money; and she doesn’t have to drive all over LA to make her moo-lah.
Add in the fact that I’m a great guy to work with, and there you have it.
So today when T. showed up for work, she had a smile on her face. I had a smile on my face, too, cause T. is cute, and bubbly, and who doesn’t like working with cute, bubbly girls?
We immediately hopped into the white van with all my gear and headed for one of the most notorious gloryholes this side of Rancho Cucamonga. Here’s some free gloryhole movies shot at the same location. Anyways, she sucked a big, black dick – an anonymous one at that – and we jumped back into the van…and on to the studio…to shoot a b/b/g (“boy-boy-girl”) for Blacks on Blondes, as well as a scene for a secret site I can’t really talk about right now.
On the way back to the studio, I called AIM. In case you didn’t know it, AIM is where all the porn stars get tested to make sure they’re free of STD’s. That’s when AIM gave me the bad news – T. had chlamydia. Poor girl. She was really upset; she felt “dirty”; she just lost out on a whole bunch of work, too. And we all know work means money.
To ease things up, I remind T. chlamydia is everywhere. It’s in spas and hot tubs! On toilet seats! On sex toys! Everyone has chlamydia!! They’ve either had it, or got it, or gonna catch it!! Shit, I even had chlamydia once, when I was in college, and when I was in college with chlamydia the Doc told me then at least 25% of the college was walking around with it.
“So let’s just call chlamydia our pal! Cause it’s fun, fun, fun!”
She didn’t laugh. Not once.
I called the agent. Agent has a girl who lives about an “hour or so” outside LA. Her name is K., and she’s girl’s available! And K. does brothers! She’ll even do internal creampies with the brothers!!
In Porno Land, an “hour or so” means anywhere from 90 minutes to four hours, so I book her.
Two and a half hours later my new gal shows. She’s cute, and the brothers love her, so we go to set and take stills. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but I shoot all my stills before I roll video. Makes things a lot easier. After stills someone reminds me to call AIM…which I usually do before anyone has sex with anyone.
I call AIM, and one of my brothers is positive. You guessed it – chlamydia. This really fucks shit up cause now my girl’s been exposed, and one of the brothers has exposed the other brother.
Time for a pow wow. A meeting of the minds. We huddle up: K’s pissed at me, cause I didn’t remind her to check tests before pictures; I remind Kaylee it’s everyone’s responsibility to check tests, and I made an honest mistake; in addition, I remind K. that the brother who did test positive didn’t do a very good job during stills.
Which is to say he couldn’t get his dick hard.
Which is to say there was no penetration.
Which is to say we faked some of the stills.
Which is to say faking shit from time to time happens a lot in Porno Land.
Which is to say K. probably didn’t catch chlamydia, but we can’t take any chances…can we?
I lose Chlamydia Brother and reshoot the stills, this time as a simple boy-girl sex scene. (Certainly I couldn’t give the producer b/b/g stills with a b/g movie, right?)
K. shoots her scene, does well, and leaves to get her medicine. The brothers leave to get their medicine.
As I sit here banging this out on my laptop, I’m only 4 hours behind for the day, getting ready to start my last scene. I’m tired and grumpy and want to go home…only 5 more days left til I’m there.
Five days and fifteen scenes away.
And you thought shooting porno was all fun and games.