JMC writes:

I’ve been reader of your blog for nearly a year, but due to my computer illiteracy was unable to post a comment on your blog. I even signed up for wordpress, and tried to make a comment…but all for naught.

I was surfing wikipedia the other day, and looked up “O.G. Mudbone”. Although he didn’t have a page, it listed him as deceased: (1980-2009). I’m well aware of wikipedia’s frequent vandalism and inaccuracies, but am still intrigued. I was wondering if there was any truth to his death, if you have ever worked with Mr. Mudbone and that artificial penis he wields, or had any interesting stories about him.
—————————-
I have no idea who O.G. Mudbone is. I know nothing about the “artificial penis” he wields (your words). I have no idea if he’s alive — or dead. I also don’t know about the surfers who buy into this stuff, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned now that I’ve been Porno for 8 years, it’s that there’s an audience for just about everything.

I do know all of the black cocks I hire for the world famous Blacks on Blondes are real. Every single one of them. I’ve captured some enormous ones, too. In fact, most of them are quite impressive.

I often wonder, though, about the surfer who comments on the cock…even more than the pussy. What’s up with that?

Bisexuality.

I once asked Über-Whore Ava Devine what the most requested, most secretive thing her Tricks ask of her. If you don’t already know, Ava Devine might be Queen of the Whores, and she’d be the first to take that as a compliment. I bet she’s turned thousands of tricks, and when you talk to her about them, she remembers a lot.

“Oh that’s easy!” Ava exclaimed. “A lot of men want to be cock suckers!”

Note the emphasis on a lot.

Note the Ü (U-umlaut) I used for “Über-Whore”.

From Wikipedia: “Letter Ü: The letter Ü occurs in the Hungarian, Karelian, Turkish, Uyghur latin Script, Estonian, Azeri, Turkmen, Crimean Tatar and Tatar Latin alphabets, where it represents a close front rounded vowel ([y]). It is a distinct letter, collated separately, and not considered a simple modification of [u] or [i]. It is distinct from “UE”.”

And, in case you didn’t know, “Über (sometimes spelled ueber, uber, the former being a correct form in German just like über) comes from the German language. It is a cognate of both Latin super and Greek ὑπέρ (hyper), as well as English over and above. It is also sometimes used as a hyphenated prefix in informal English, usually for emphasis. Both uses indicate a state or action involving increased elevation or quantity in the physical sense, or superiority or excess in the abstract.”

Ava Devine is, in fact, a whore of increased elevation or quantity in the physical sense, as well as a whore of superiority or excess in the abstract. Over and above the rest.

How ’bout them apples?

Back to your desire to suck cock.

Admit it. It’s ok. Secretly, deep in your subconscious mind, you want to drop to your knees, JMC, and open your mouth wide for O.G. Mudbone’s huge black cock…and when you heard of his passing, it made you so sad you felt the need to e-mail me and ask about any interesting stories featuring your favorite black cock. Right?

Let me reiterate: it’s OK to suck cock if you’re a dude. Really, it is. Sure, it’s a “gay” activity, but you’re only gay if you’re waking up next to the dude you call a “life partner”, right?

Did I ever tell you Barb Cummings stuck her finger up my butt?

Did I ever tell you Barb Cummings isn’t Barbie Cummings anymore cause a corporation that makes toys didn’t think it was in their best interest to allow Barb Cummings to be Barbie Cummings?

Anyway, for about a second and a half Barb and I were “close”, and one night she felt the need to invade my colon with her middle finger. To which I squealed like a little girl. And then, like a little girl, I spread my legs open so she could have her way with me. At first I felt a traumatic experience about to occur…but then, I noticed something.

Something I didn’t think I’d ever admit to admitting.

I liked it.

As Barb moved her finger around in my rectum and sucked my balls, it felt truly amazing.

No Way Am I Gay!

I blew a load quick…but looking down after I blew, I realized I didn’t even blow. It just felt like I did. Suddenly, I blew again…and again. But I didn’t really blow! And then, when I blew for real, I was Peter North!

No Way Is Peter North gay!

So, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say unless you wake up next to your “partner”, you’re not really gay, even though you might do some sexy thangs that might be considered gay…like saying “thang” instead of “thing”.

No, wait. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say unless you make out with a dude, which, by my definition means french kissing a dude, you’re not really gay, even though you might do some sexy thangs that might be considered gay.

Here’s one last fun fact I’m gonna toss your way, just for fun: 90% of the dudes in Porn Valley are bisexual. Not gay. Just bi. In fact, I’d be willing to go far out on a limb and say over half the dudes walking the Earth are, at the very least, bi.

Except me.

No Way.