A wealthy Manojob member recently passed away. Needless to say, we were surprised when his attorney contacted us with the news that many of our starlets lad been included in his last will and testament.
To Angelina Stoli: a 1978 El Camino low rider. Bright orange. With those spinny-wheel-things too.
To Amy Starz: a paper hat and plastic gloves for her job at the Safeway deli.
To Kylee Lovit: the vice -presidency of her local school committee.
To Sofia Sandobar: black hair and a green card.
To Kelly Wells: a shrink.
To Riley Shy: a guest spot on the new “90210” series.
To Bree Olsen: an autographed 8×10 of Ginger Lynn.
To Cherry Poppins: chocolate Slimfast.
To Barbie Cummings: a black baby.
To Adrianna Nicole: spackle and a wire brush.
To Kinzy Jo: a father.
To Satine Phoenix: smaller eyes. Those things FREAK me out!
To Veronica Jett: a sandwich.
To Gia Paloma: a lawyer.
To Audry Elson: a forehead that you CAN’T land airplanes on.
To Bree Barrett: anything she wants.
To Michelle Sweet: a clean urine sample.
To Veronique Vega: an armored car, for all the money she will make.
To Marissa Mendoza: a bus ticket. Anywhere else.
To India Summer: a motorcycle gang.
To Roxy DeVille: actual talent.
To Gianna: back surgery.
To Jessica Valentino: cucumber slices for her eyelids.
To Jenny Hendrix: voice lessons and a smidgen of shame.
To Dylan Ryder: diamonds. Lots and lots of diamonds!
To Scarlett Pain: ammunition.
Um…OK. I like that. Did I mention it’s now way easier to leave comments on ISP? Really, it is…and I can’t wait to read some of the ones this e-mail elicits. Cause really, good comments makes a good blog, right? And this one needs all the help it can get.
Thank you sir.
Your pal — Billy