Super Fun e-Mails: “why not move the age up to 21?”

Emily Evermore in jail

Mark writes:

You posted today about that ridiculous craigslist add, which was no doubt laughable. But i can’t help but notice every time you discuss the issue of the “choice” pornstars make you seem to get a little irate. And while I liked your line: “But you know what? People make decisions all day long, and it’s our ability as adults to make decisions — good or bad — that make life worth living.”

I think the operative word there is “adult.” Is an 18 year old really an adult with the “ability” to make a good decision? They’re not able enough to drink booze or rent a car. What were you like when you were 18? Were you capable of making decisions with the full understanding of the consequences?

I mean I’m only 25 but when i look back at how stupid i was at 18, it’s borderline embarrassing. And, yes, I definitely had some concept of responsibility Even than, but i had a decent upbringing and WASN’T MOLESTED. So should an 18 year old girl with a shitty upbringing and a tormented past really be given the “right” to make a life-changing decision, most likely on a whim?

I understand why you might get defensive, it’s how you make your bread. But 18? Business aside, why not move the age up to 21?

Hey Mark. To get right to it — no.

No way an 18 year old should be allowed to appear in a dirty movie.

Shit — something like half of the 18 year olds these days can’t even graduate high school, let alone make an important decision about anything concerning their future.

But the law’s the law, and it says once you’re a legal adult, you can suck and fuck on camera.

Just take a look at barely-legal teen Nicole Ray. She turned 18 a few months before I shot her at The Dick Suckers. Will she regret that decision when she’s 30?


There’s a plethora of other things 18 year olds shouldn’t legally be able to do — voting comes immediately to my mind.

When I was 18 all I cared about is the sport I was playing, when I was gonna get my next Manojob, and where the keg parties were Friday and Saturday night.

Oh yea, and my homework…but that was last on the list.

The operative phrase here is “is it legal?” — and yea, it sure is…even though we don’t agree with it. And bro — I’m close to 45 but when i look back at how stupid i was at 30, it’s borderline embarrassing.

In fact, when does it ever end? I’m sure when I’m 60 I’ll look back at all the stupid things I did when I was 45…which will probably include directing pornographic movies.

If I was King Of The World, public school teachers would be exempt from paying Federal and State income tax. Wilco would be our nation’s official rock and roll band. Then I’d make Veteran’s Day our nation’s official day to vote. Apple and Windows would create operating systems that would make it impossible to play bootleg files of any kind. I’d allow gays get married. Upon the birth of a second child to a family, either mom gets her tubes tied or dad gets his vas deferens soldered. I’d revoke the tax-exempt status for The Church of Latter Day Saints. I’d fuck with The Scientologists, too. I’d create a “Loser Leaves Town, No Holes Barred, non-referred Texas Style Cage Match” between an Israelite and a Palestinian, where each side would chose a representative to fight, and the losers would be forced by the rest of the world to really leave town and set up shop somewhere outside Barstow, California, cause, well…what’s the difference Barstow and Israel/Palestine, anyways? Big Oil would cough up their secrets on solar and wind power. I’d make the CIA tell everyone who really whacked JFK. Oh! And I’d make them fess up as to what really went down in Roswell, NM, too. Wal Mart would pay reparations to every Mom and Pop Shop they put out of business. The Vatican would give full access to all the holdings in their library. I’d ask Michel Gondry to be Queen of The World.

And finally — I’d raise the age requirements on performing in adult movies to 21.

3 thoughts on “Super Fun e-Mails: “why not move the age up to 21?””

  1. I second that vote. I would have to say that if Wilco is our nation”s official Rock N Roll band then Lucero would have to open for them at every official event.

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