I’m all geared up to blog, cause I haven’t lately, and Adrianna Nicole just green lighted my subject matter today, which is The Pee Hole, and the dude she’s been banging lately, and his pee hole, and how it relates to her.
As in your Pee Hole, which, if you haven’t figured it out, is the little hole at the end of your wiener which can emit a few different things, of which I don’t need to tell you about.
But before I do that, I gotta mention Sonic Youth’s Evol, cause I haven’t listened to it since about 1987 or so, which was (I think) the year Sonic Youth made the record, but that might not be correct. 1984 was The Year, of course, mainly cause we all got treated to Meat Puppets II, Zen Arcade, and Double Nickels on The Dime, almost all in one fell swoop, but here I go digressing again…so I’ll wrap up this paragraph by telling you I was with some friends, and we were talking about Sonic Youth, and that’s when Evol was mentioned, and suddenly I needed to listen to it again, cause it’s been too long since I have, and it was then, as track 1 played, that I realized absolutely nothing goes better with Pee Hole Talk better than Evol, and if you don’t believe me, just listen to it, and that’s that.
On to the Pee Hole: we all have one (duh!), and it’s the ending of our urethra; in dudes the urethra is about six inches long, and it’s divided into four parts, and if you need to know anymore about the physiology of it, you can do what I did and read about it here.
You might want to have track 6 from Evol playing — “Death To Our Friends” — while reading the sciency part about your urethra, as it makes wholly appropriate background music.
I might blog too much about Adrianna, but hey, oh well if you don’t like it. And we’re sitting at coffee the other day when she tells me about her new sex toy, which happens to be a living, breathing man whose name I’ll also not mention here, and she mentions this dude to me cause he likes some pretty twisted shit, which is OK by me, cause I do, too.
But not this twisted.
Cause Dude wants Adrianna to drop “sounds” down his Pee Hole.
It’s not even 8am when she tells me this, so my heads still swimming in sleep, but that sure as fuck woke me up. I won’t recreate our dialog here; instead, I’ll just cut right to it: sounds are metal poles you stick into a dude’s Pee Hole to make him feel all wiggly-giggly inside. JT’s Stockroom offers up an 8 pack of them for less than 90 bucks, which (I guess) some would consider a bargain.
“These elegantly edgy urethral sounds have small “rosebud” shaped tips, for stimulating as the “tip” slides in and out. Our set includes 8 sounds which have steel shafts 11″ long topped with a “rosebud” or “bullet” shaped tip, in various sizes from 5mm to 13mm around. These sounds centralize the stimulation as they work their way in. This sound set provides great thermal/temperature retention so they can be used warmed and/or cooled for even more varied stimulation. The sounds are stored in a handsome leather covered, velvet-lined zipper case.”
About the only thing that sounds even somewhat interesting to me (at this point) is the “handsome leather covered, velvet lined zipper case.” Which, if I was writing that catalog, woulda looked like “handsome, leather-covered, velvet-lined zipper case” instead.
But hey, what do I know?
Except now I’m curious, cause after they actually did it, Dude told Adrianna he felt like he was cumming the whole time she was pulling 11 inches of metal out of his ween, and trust me when I tell you I know Adrianna, and I’m sure she pulled that fucking metal out of his dick as slowly as any human could.
With a smile on her face.
Did I mention with that statement I was now curious?
he felt like he was cumming the whole time she was pulling 11 inches of metal out of his ween
And we all know Curiosity Killed The Cat: “The earliest printed reference to the origin of this proverb is attributed to British playwright Ben Jonson in his 1598 play, “Every Man in His Humour” — …Helter skelter, hang sorrow, care will kill a cat, up-tails all, and a pox on the hangman.”
I mention this to another girl, whose name I won’t mention, except she thinks it’s “hot” and, long story really short, she ends up giving me a handie and sticking her pinkie finger nail into my Pee Hole as she’s pulling on my wiener. At first, I thought I was gonna pass out. Then it was kinda ok, but certainly nothing to write home about — let along blog.
At least not in that context.
Then she stuck her index nail into my hole, and I wanted to pass out again. I think I turned green, too. Or maybe white. But she loved it, and the next thing I know she’s rubbing her beaver like nobody’s bidniss and fucking my pee hole with her fingernails, all the while filthy, dirty things about fingernails in pee holes are emitting from her mouth.
I’ll stop here, cause this ain’t none o’ yo bidniss…Yo!
Except to say a long time ago, while we were driving up and down that mountain road everyday on our way to his secret mansion, Dogfart would tell me things like, “You watch, son! Shooting porn is gonna jade you! One second fucking a blonde doggystyle is hot, and then after a year or two making dirty movies, nothing normal is ever gonna get you off. You’ll end up like me, watching hot blondes getting fucked by German Shepherds in order to blow your load.”
Yesterday, after we talked about sounds and fingernails and handjobs and pee holes, Adrianna told me the kind of fun that was on Dude’s mind next — Adrianna’s hot turd laid out on his chest, directly from the source.
Which is not to say Adrianna’s gonna do it.
But if she did, it’s funny, cause I know the soundtrack for that kind of fun is the same one for all that Pee Hole Play — just look at the cover if you don’t believe me.