Super Fun E-Mails: “Can I Get Addicted?”

Rachel Milan

Henry from the UK writes:

Hi. I saw your website and I see it is heavily sexual oriented. When I look at porn it seems very crude. Hairy cocks poking vaginas and squirting taking place. Does’nt it corrupt the young men who look at it? It really stirs up a passion in you. Just asking. Is is good to look at porn all day? People seem to get addicted to it. Is it a good thing? Just curious. Henry.

Hi Henry from the Wonderful United Kingdom!

Boy, this whole “porn addiction” thing really touches a nerve with me, cause it’s impossible. Well, not impossible, but pert near. It’s certainly a problem for some, but before I start that rant, let’s talk about what I like to call “The Big Four”. I’m referring to the legal vices in this country, and, generally, around the world…unless you’re living under a Fascist’s rule.

1) Tobacco: Tobacco’s a whole lot like heroin. People struggle for years and years to shake it; most never really do. Depending on who you talk to, cigarette smoking causes an estimated 438,000 deaths, or about 1 of every 5 deaths, each year. Read that again: 1 in 5 people who DIE every day can thank RJ Reynolds and Philip Morris, among others. This includes approximately 38,000 deaths to the poor saps who live with, or hang out with — the dopes who do smoke…AKA “secondhand smoke exposure”. Smoking killed a lot of people I know. Smoking killed my granny. Killed. Smoking is bad.

2) Booze: Booze is pretty damn addicting. I don’t think it’s quite like the Nicotine Rocket that is smoking, but we all know a drunk or two, and we see what kind of devastation boozing can bring about — both to the Booze Hound as well as anyone who’s around them. Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) was “deeply saddened” to recently report that alcohol-related traffic deaths are at an all time high since 1992. I won’t even get into spousal-abuse stats related to booze. Driving under the influence has killed a lot of people, including one of my very best friends while we were still in high school. Killed. Drinking is bad.

3) Gambling: Gaming’s all over the place. It’s a huge industry, and well all know it’s not just in Vegas and Atlantic City. Lots and lots of people lose lots and lots of money gambling each and every year. Some people lost everything they had, and I’m not just talking about their money…but their house, their family, and their job. What do you think they did after they lost it all? Walked back in the casino next day — or called their bookie — to win their money back. I like to call these people “Action Junkies”, cause, to me, it’s the thrill of the action (both with the gaming and the winning) that drives them.

4) Porn: Some call it a huge industry, and I’ve heard Porn makes more than National League Baseball, Pro Football, and Basketball combined. I sure do wish I saw some of that bread! I don’t buy that figure, but let’s face it, sex sells, and men like to beat their dinkies to both internet and DVD porn and the dirty movies they sell at the hotel you’re staying at. Couples like to fuck and watch porn! And get this: No cancer! No beatings! No smashing your car into an innocent victim! No losing your house or your bank account! Although a lot of girlfriends and wives feel left out after their dude’s blown his wad to porn — and not her…and that’s a problem, but overall I’m saying Porn is fun!

I decided to smoke once, in 8th grade, at an empty swimming pool a bunch of us were skateboarding in. The cig turned me green, and I threw up all over the place. It was the first and last time I’ve ever smoked a cig. I’ve never really liked gambling, and even when I’ve won, I’ve never felt that terrific thrill that Action Junkies claim to feel. I know, too, cause for a while I had a bookie and I bet sports a bunch. Is that’s what’s driving their addiction?

Or, are Action Junkies addicted to easy money?

Why do guys beat their meat to porn? Well, that’s simple: cause they’re not getting any…or they don’t want what they have. “Addiction” doesn’t even enter into the picture.

And why is it our politicians have no problem whatsoever entertaining the tobacco lobby, and the booze lobby, and the gaming lobby…and taking their money? But there’s no porn lobby? (Actually, there’s an easy answer to that question.)

Finally, Henry, looking at porn all day is not good. In fact, I can’t think of one thing that anyone would do “all day” that’s good for them — including work.

So get back to stirring up some passion, my friend. Take a look at Johnny Fender groping Rachel Milan’s ass right in the middle of a public alley while she was blowing him! If that doesn’t do it for ya, here’s some free handjob movies, some free blowjob movies, some free interracial sex movies. I personally made each and every one of these dirty movies, and I did it with you in mind.

Cause I care about my fans.

And what’s life without a vice or two?

Make porn your vice!

Whatever you do, just don’t look at it all day long.

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