Super Fun E-Mails: “GO BARAK!”

Adrianna Nicole

Harold from Zurich, Switzerland, writes:

A long while back I sent you an admiring email about Adrianna Nicole. The upshot was that, particularly in the rubber-gloved manojob scene you did with her, she just looked so utterly slutty and trashy and whatever-y that even to this day I can get wood remembering the scene.

And you replied saying “Great email. Shame you mentioned how she looks older, ’cause otherwise I’d show it to her.”

Well, you posted another update, with another scene. And she’s lost some of the slut-trash edge. (Maybe it’s just that her blonde has less suicide in it. I dunno.) So now she looks like a quietly desperate accounts payable clerk, who has to go to that “classic rock” club because she’s behind the curve on the music scene, and still thinks that Pearl Jam is where it’s at. And she winds up sucking your dick in the parking lot because she won’t take you to her place, and is too afraid to go to yours.

I love those chicks. And Adrianna is their queen.

On a totally different note, I found two new pornwhores to drool over. There’s this chick Whitney Stevens. She’s trash. But (1) I have a cousin named Whitney, also with the big titties; and (2) there’s this one scene where she’s wearing the heels, bent at the waist, and getting pounded. I think it’s the boob-swing, but there’s something there that made me want to shout “handcuff her and do her in the ass!” The clip wasn’t worth saving–too much space for too little joy. But that half a second of was worth mentioning. Her face is too deep, her eyes too close together – she looks like that Jewish princess from high school that wanted to be “bad” but couldn’t really pull it off. Did you have one of those in school? I was too much of a nerd to get any action back then, but I can just imagine her (her name was Michelle something) going for it, and Whitney looks like that. If you can find her cheep, blow a load in her face and tell her it’s a POV shot. (I bet she’s a cum-dodger, though.)

My real new discovery is this tramp called “Bunny de la Cruz.” She’s this short, fat, nasty thing that for whatever reason has just exactly the right shape. The woman is a walking fuck toy. I honestly think that you could put a bill before the U.S. Congress permitting the ownership of women, and drag her in as your primary justification, and it would pass. At least for the next two weeks, until whatever drug du jour kills her or starts giving her that crack-ho diet, she’s this plump little fuck-bunny.

Seriously, Bunny and Adrianna should be for sale on eBay. I couldn’t afford them, but it would give me hope. The American Dream, 21st century edition. (And none of this “private session” / “escort” crap! Not rent – own!)

On an unrelated note, what’s your thought for the election?


You know, Harold, I’ve never blogged about politics, but I will today.

If Barak Obama isn’t elected to The Presidency, I’m leaving America for good.

I’ll move to Europe and become a wandering soul.

I’ll move to Tibet and become a Monk and think all day.

I’ll move to New Zealand and marry a Māori woman and eat a lot of lamb.

To quote my hero, Bill Maher — Barak Obama has a huge cock that smells like curry. This alone makes him the best choice for President of the United States.

Here’s a quick I Shoot Porn quiz:

When it’s time to deal with The Middle East crisis, which is, quite possibly, the greatest threat to human livelihood over the next 100 years, who are the Arabs most likely gonna listen to:

A) A Woman.

B) An old white guy.

C) Barak Hussein Obama.

D) Billy Watson.

Here’s another quiz:

John McCain is:

A) A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

B) A Old White Guy In the Highest Tax Bracket And Loves His Tax Loopholes and Will Suck Corporate Cock All Day Long

C) A War Monger

D) All of the above.


Hillary Clinton is:

A) In Reality, Bill

B) Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire!

C) A Liberal Socialist In the Highest Tax Bracket And Loves Her Tax Loopholes and Will Suck Corporate Cock All Day Long

D) Still Kinda Pissed Over Monica

Do I really need to tell you the answers…or do you know them already?

Look, everyone needs to vote Obama, cause it’s time change things up. Let’s make it interesting. A Clinton and/or Bush as Pres or VP goes back to 19 mother fuckin’ 80. Republicans can’t be serious when they vote McCain, and if they are, it’s simply to keep their fucking status quo.

I hate politics.

No…I hate people who stick with their party even when they know it’s not in America’s best interest, and I hate people who stick with their party cause they think they’re always right.

All I’m saying is it’s just time for a change.


(Not the real) Ron Jeremy follows up this blog with:

read your blog today billy, here are my thoughts:

1. all politicians are lying fuckbags, it comes down to who is the lesser evil
2. i can’t stand shitbags who say “i’m moving to another country if so and so doesn’t win”. Oh, because you don’t get your way your gonna leave? Maybe we should make Billy in charge of electing new press so he stays, sounds democratic doesn’t it?
3. i’m liking barak but don’t be so down on mccain, dude has spent great deal of effort on campaign reform so he is no more a corp cocksucker than the rest, in fact he may be less so. Gotta also give him a pat on the back for not being a “party line guy”, he’s pissed off republicans quite a bit doing what he thinks is right. Also gotta give him props for sticking in captivity with his men for an extra 4 years when he was given chance to leave w/o rest of his comrades, that says a lot.
4. I think we should lock all 3 in cages and poke them with sticks, whoever survives becomes pres.

Whitney Stevens

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