Super Fun E-Mails: “Spring Thomas vs. Barbie Cummings”

Spring Thomas

JH writes:

Hey there, Ok Im going to get the request Out first. Im pretty drunk and if I dont make the request first I’ll most liely forget it by the time I get to the end of my point. I am e-mailing you primarily because I am wondering. Does there exsist a scene where Spring Thomas and Barbie Cummings are together? I am pretty sure such a scene does not exsist. I am sure if it did I would of found it by now. I am basically your core customer. I am an overweight man in his 30’s who is so in debt he is living wiht his Mom. I join porn websites every weekend. I live to see porn. If there was a Spring and Barbie scene I am sure I would of found it by now.

So since I am almost 99 % sure such a scene does not exsist. I have to ask you why does such a scene not exsist? I have my theroy on this, which I will get to shortly. But first let me beg a little. Dude you are the man that can make this happen. Bring them together Billy. It will be good. I’ wil join both thier sites for a glimpsh of this. And I am sure I am not alone.

Back to my theory. I have a feeling from reading your blog for many months, the reason this sene does not exisst is simple. Stress! Bringing these two porn whores together is no doubt like creating the perfect storm in your own basement. Surely such a mass of pure whoredom has never before fell upon North America. Is that the reason? You cant deal with both their “personalities” at the same time? What would really happen if you brought Spring Thomas and Barbie Cummings together?

Or is it my other theory?

I know your a good businessman. One just has to look at your scenes, they are brilliant! and read your blog and do the math on your membership fees to know you know how to make money out of this business. So clearly you have enough of a head on your shoulders to know putting Spring and Barbie together would be a sensible choice. I tend to think you are all for putting a scene like this on one or more of your sites. So I have to ask,

Do they not like each other?

Is that why there isnt such a scene in existance? It makes sence. They are both giant porn whores with a preferance for black dick. I am imagining they didnt get along the first time they met each other and have since proven they will come nearly to blows at any subsuqent meetings. Am I wrong? Blog about it man. Why are there no Spring and Barbie scenes? It seems the logical path to follow.

Oooo maybe its my third theory! You know damn well how desirable a senario this coupling would be.The two porn whores in question have no issues with working with each other, and you are holding off doing the scene as a sort of grand finale to your carrer?

No matter what the answer is. If it is something I have listed here, or maybe is something as simple as you havent gotten around to this one cause your busy I do hope you will somehow make this scene happen. For surely such a perfect storm as Barbie and Spring together has never fallen upon porndom before.

Dude if you get a 100 e-mails a day asking why there is no Spring and Barbie scene then feel free to ignore this e-mail. I will then at least know the idea has been sugested to you before and you are taking it into consideration.

All I ask is please take the time to hit reply and just put a fucking letter in the reply. So I know my message was recived, or not, whatever.

P.S. Please forgive my pathetic attempts at seeming literate in the places I mispelled big words. I am a drunk fat guy that likes Nascar and porn. I’m a fan of yours for obvious reasons and I have a humble request that you bring your two top guns together in one massive scene to end all scenes. But if not no worries. You still rock bro.


Congrats, JH — you’ve just been awarded “Super Fun E-Mail of The Month”. This entitles you to:

1) a free month at Manojob, The Dick Suckers, and Chelci Fox…unless you’d rather have one to No Way Am I Gay. Just e-mail me and I’ll set ya all up. No tricks or gimmicks here, either!

2) The right to brag to all your pals — and why not mom? — that you’ve been bestowed an award from me, Billy Watson, and my blog, I Shoot Porn.

3) And all the answers to your questions, in both a direct and polite manner: No scene exists with both Spring and Barbie; it doesn’t exist cause I’ve never booked it; it would be tough to deal with both of them at the same time, yes; if I bought them together we’d get a great black cock slut scene; I have no idea how they feel about each other — nor do they — cause they’ve never met; I am not holding it off for a “grand finale” of my career.

JH — I am a fan of middle-aged fat guys who dig NASCAR and porn and still live at home. You are indeed my bread and butter, and I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know. This is a serious statement. Please e-mail me for your login and passwords to the sites I own.

Your pal — Billy

Barbie Cummings

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *