Barbie was sitting in Gia’s make-up chair.

“I wanna black baby,” she said.

Gia asked, “any ideas on how you wanna get knocked up today?”

“I dunno. All I know is I need some random black guy to fill me up. I don’t care who it is.”

That’s when I chimed in. “I got an idea! Let’s go to that Gloryhole over in Hollywood. That one at that seedy adult bookstore.”

“How the fuck am I gonna get knocked-up sucking a guy off, Pencil Dick?!”

I thought isn’t it nice when Barbie calls me pencil dick? “You’re gonna bend over the wall and let him fill you up, silly whore.”

“You’re not as stupid as you look,” Barbie said.

I thanked Barbie for her sweet kindness.

“Lemme watch!” Gia pleaded. “I wanna go to the gloryhole! I wanna go to the gloryhole!”

On our way over, Barbie grabbed the camera from my bag and made silly faces…and snapped away. Then we saw a legless T-Girl in an electric wheelchair. The Legless T-Girl was waiting on the corner of Santa Monica and Gower, and she had enormous boobs and a shirt that said something witty on it…but I forget now exactly what it said.

Let me make sure you understand what I’m talking about here: a woman, born as a man, and now without legs, was sitting in one of those electric wheelchair thingys (commonly referred to as “scooters”) hanging out on the corner, and s(he) had enormous titties — much bigger than Barbie’s or Gia’s.

“I wanna fuck a T-Girl,” Barbie said.

I don’t remember what Gia said.

“I do not want to fuck a T-Girl,” I said.

“Yes you do, faggot pencil-dick loser,” Barbie said.

“I love your sweet nothings,” I cooed.

At the entrance of the filthy adult bookstore, Barbie did something she loves to do all the time: she flashed her titties.

Once inside The Hole, it was only a matter of time before a large dick showed itself. Gia actually took a taste before Barbie worked the load out of his balls and directly into her cunt. I stood there with a camera and captured it all for prosperity’s sake.

The black dude exclaimed, “I’m cumming, I’m cumming!” and Gia got down for an up close, personal inspection of the Barbie Cummings creampie.

Once the dick disappeared back where it appeared from, I said, “Well, we definitely do not know who the baby’s daddy is.”

Barbie said, “that’s if I’m knocked up. Let’s go back to your studio and call some more black guys up and try again. I’m here for another day.”

“Now you’re talking!” Gia said.

“You dirty slut!” I said.

Barbie looked at me like I was a dope, grabbed a hold of her lower lip (the one on her face), and showed me the tattoo she just got on her inside it: “SLUT”.

On the way back, I made some phone calls and set it all up. The Legless T-Girl was in her same spot, and Barbie waved hi.

The Legless T-Girl said something, but I can’t recall what that was, exactly. Barbie blew the Legless T-Girl a kiss, said she wanted to fuck a T-Girl (again), and we drove back to my studio, where Barbie would attempt, once again, to get impregnated by The Black Man…as I rolled camera.

And you thought your life was weird.