Today’s Guest Blogger: The Minion (and His Chico Chronicles, Part 2)

The Minion

From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

My name is Doron and this is a retrospective at my time and dealings with Chico Wang.

Anyways, it was early 2002 and Extreme Associates had a whacky webmaster known as “Wanker Wang”. Extreme also had a wrestling promotion called XPW which I passed out flyers for on one occasion. I met Wanker when he was in his office rendering video for their site. He was drunk and didn’t make much sense.

Fast forward to the Summer of 2003 and I had just left my job at a coffee shop. I was unemployed and had always been a fan of porn. Shit, when I was 14 I bought my first hardcore vhs tape from a comic book convention. I had known of a site called and it’s writer, Wanker Wang, had left Extreme and gone to Anabolic/Diabolic. He posted that he needed a minion and I applied.

We met with Cal444 for some Thai food. The drive to the restaurant was memorable for the fact that Wanker had a bottle of piss in his car which he claims he didn’t know it got there. We ate and shot the shit. I was skeptical as to whether or not I would get the gig. Fuck, who wouldn’t want to be around massive amounts of snatch on a daily basis? He said he would get back to me.

One week passed and then another one. I made several calls to his phone which he didn’t answer.

I emailed him and he got back to me with, “Bro, I like you but I need someone with web experience. If you want the job you got to digitize 4 scenes a week, run errands, and other random stuff. I expect work done!”

With that, I was in!

I was totally nervous my first few weeks. I had just been given this chance to be in porn that any other guy would have died for. Off the bat Chico had me go to AIM and get tested. He said it was for an Oral Consumption scene that belonged to Anabolic Video. I thought it would be fun and getting my dick sucked by a porn chick always seemed appealing.

So we go up to his house in the hills off of Topanga Canyon. Mason Storm was there and Wanker had me wear Depends underwear as well. He has Mrs. Storm humiliate me, make me do jumping jacks, and she urinated on me. I eventually got to pop on her feet and I felt as if I had been a team player. I also believed that this hazing of me would show Wanker as well as all around him that I was serious about doing the porn thing.

I cleaned up and we all went to the cheesecake factory. I felt as if I was now part of something special. I went home to my mom and she had no idea that her good jewish son was humiliated by a lesbian Latina whose girlfriend was watching.

The weeks turned into months. I got to meet male talent that I had been watching fuck porn girls as I grew up. Brian Surewood, John Strong, and others. I was setting up Chico’s lights, organizing paperwork, snapping pics of new girls coming to the offices, and the beer……….always having beer and Marlboro lights for the Wang.

Voltron never missed a chance to poke fun of my weight to industry people AND individuals we’d meet in the outside world.

“Hey, look at this fat fuck!” was something he’d blurt out to a waitress when we’d go out to eat. At first I didn’t seem to care. I was also digitizing and rendering video for Wanker to put on the member’s sites. I was doing 60+ hour weeks with the constant paranoia that Wanker would belittle me during his drunken nights.

My time there was also beneficial in that I met Tony T. He came up in the business right before me and Wanker also put him through porno hell. To his credit, Tony overcame the trials and tribulations of being male talent. Tony was and still is a good guy to me and he’s matured a ton since I first met him 4 years ago. Tony would come into the office and we would clown him on how he would talk during his scenes. Shouts of “Oh my God son, yeahhhhh!” and “You lookin heavy, ma!” would come from the mouths of Sal Genoa and Chico. Tony has a phenomenal work ethic and he’s like train with no breaks on it.

Chico would find his VX2000 and shoot me in zany situations. Wearing Katja Kassin’s underwear and being laughed at by Taylor Rain were some of the torment I went through for no reason other to amuse Chico. Most likely he wanted the acts to amuse his friends who must have felt sorry for me and weirded out by him. At this point I was starting to hate his guts.

Little did I know that he was about to supply me with so much pussy.

Also, little did I know that I had just taken a job from a convicted rapist and woman abuser.

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