Super Fun E-Mails: “Ragnarök!”


DC writes:


How the hell are you!!

Just wanted to let you know that I think you are the biggest disgrace to the face of humanity. It must really empower you to think that your exploitation of my sisters is somehow noble. What a twink you are… I’m sure you life is just such a joy.

You will unquestionably be one of the one who feel the power of the hammer during Ragnarok

Enjoy you 15 minutes, twink. Your time will come.

Heya DC:

Wow. You really caught me off guard here…on two levels, really.

From what I’ve come to learn about the gay sex world, a twink is akin to a “barely-legal” girl…a hairless, young dude who’s gay. I hate to disappoint you, but I’m not gay, nor am I young. And while I’m not hairy, I’m certainly not hairless.

But what really caught me off guard is your reference to “Ragnarök”, something I’ve never, ever heard of. And thank Odin for the internet and Google, cause in about 15 seconds I got a Wikipedia full of Ragnarök, as well as Jötnar, Æsir, and the rest of that great Norse myth.

Why do people think women are exploited when they act in dirty movies? And why are there so many men who try and save them from this exploitation without doing a little homework, first? Honestly, good dudes like you are actually hurting women (and women’s rights) more than me.

That’s right, me — a Damned Twink Pornographer who deserves to get bonked on the head with Thor’s mighty Hammer.

Isn’t it True Empowerment when a woman — or anyone for that matter — exercises the free will we’re given as human beings called autonomy? Total and complete autonomy?

In other words, a girl gets the right to chose what she does with her body, without any sort of input from anyone…including a guy? And even if, in hindsight, that decision may (or may not be) considered “good”…or “bad”?

Imagine this world: a girl can do whatever she pleases — as long as it’s legal — and not get hassled, or told what to do, or how to do it, or how not to do it, or get judged, or be called names, or even bonked over the head with a hammer when she chooses to do something that might piss a dude off.

Guess what? In the city where I work, making dirty movies is legal! And in the five years I’ve been making them, I’ve never once asked a girl to do something she didn’t want to, nor have I ever heard of such a thing happening.

Hard to imagine, huh? I mean that there’s girl out there who actually *love* sex and don’t care if they’re filmed during it.

The greatest myth ever perpetuated about my business is the actress who is coerced to do something against her will. This myth can be traced back directly to Linda Lovelace, who claimed (later in her life, after she found Jesus) that a gun was held to her head while shooting Deep Throat.

This is a myth that’s now been circulated more than once since Linda’s day (anyone remember Traci Lords?), and for one sole reason: the women who disavow their porn careers do so in order to seek approval from whoever it is they’re hanging out with at that particular moment in time…usually a boyfriend who’s recently discovered her “secret”.

Meanwhile, she’s spent all the money she made starring in dirty movies (which was *way* more she ever woulda earned working outside the sex industry), and she’s got absolutely nothing to show for it…so she’s kinda pissed, too.

They gave me drugs! They gave me alcohol! They held a gun to my head! I swear to God honey I would never, ever do that sort of disgusting thing if I wasn’t _________!!!

Fill in the blank with “forced” or “high” or “drunk”.

And The Suckers buy it — hook, line, and sinker.

I’m sorry you’re so pissed, DC. I’m just shocked you’re so pissed you actually took time out of your important day, running your computer networking business, in order to let me know just how pissed you really are.

Just one question for ya, DC, and trust me, this is a rhetorical question…which means I don’t want you to answer. In other words, when someone asks you a rhetorical question, they just want ya to think about it.

In other words, please don’t e-mail me again.

If you hate porn so much, how did you find my blog?

I’m sure you’re not surfing for porn, are you DC? I mean you’re so worried about exploiting women and all that there’s no way in the world you would ever beat your meat to porn, right? In fact, I bet you don’t masturbate at all. You probably just stumbled across my blog by accident.

Again, purely rhetorical.

Now, don’t lemme stop ya from saving your sisters from The Evil Twinks like me.

May The Force Be With You — Billy

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