A Few Things I Love in my Life, Lately.

Fucked up
Fucked Up’s “David Comes to Life”: First, I told some of my pals “David Comes to Life” is the best punk record of the last 30 years. Then, I corrected myself and tweeted that it was the best punk rock since the summer of ’84, when Zen Arcade, Double Nickels on the Dime, and Meat Puppets II came to life. So now I’ll just leave it as this: Fucked Up is one of the hardest of core punk rock bands I’ve had the pleasure to listen to, and “David Comes to Life” is their latest record — which was released last month — and it’s a masterpiece. It’s also a concept record, which means it tells a story, much like The Who did with Tommy (and Quadrophenia), Genesis (when they were good) did with The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway, Bowie did with Ziggy Stardust…, Pink Floyd did with The Wall, Zappa did with Joe’s Garage, blah blah blahblah blah blah. The band came up with an “amorphous” character named David, and after the band released some singles about David, they dropped the bomb that is this record. The record tells the story of a dude who’s stuck in a dead end job in a light bulb factory, and he meets his love, and then she dies…then I dunno what. Even though I’ve heard it non-stop since I got the record a few days ago, I’ve still only listened up to side 3.

Porn Star Screen Tests: Is it OK to like stuff I’ve done? Even though I totally ripped-off Andy Warhol? Maybe not. So, instead I’ll just say how much I love the various reactions these are receiving, from a “waste of time” to…no reaction at all. Porn Star Screen Test #1 — Kristina Rose — went mini-viral (someone in Spain liked it enough to spread the word) and it racked up 50,000+ views in a few days, of which 20 people “liked” it. 5 times as many people didn’t like it (almost 100), which means the other 49,000 others didn’t even bother to rate it. I have to call this a success. There’s 25 (or so) left to post, and I shot them all in the fall of ’09. I can’t wait to see what you guys think of the rest. Or don’t think about ’em.

Andy Warhol’s Soup Cans: Why not stop with the screen tests? For the first time since 1962, the complete set of Soup Cans is back in LA. Bet you didn’t know Andy’s first show was in LA. Bet you didn’t the show consisted of these 32 cans. You might know the art gallery across the street was so insulted with the show, they put 32 real soup cans in the window with some sort of snarky remark about being able to at least eat the soup in their window. Bet you didn’t know Dennis Hopper was one of the few who bought one…but the gallery owner felt it was best to sell all 32 as a set, so he had to call Hopper and ask for his back. Then he sold all 32 to another dealer for $1100 ($35 a piece). In 1995, that dealer sold them to the Museum of Modern Art in NYC for $15,000,000 ($468,750 a piece). And now they’re back! I’ve already gone to see them once. I’ll go a few more times.

Michael Lohan’s behavior on Celebrity Rehab: So in one of their first group meetings, Amy Fisher (now bookable through Shy Love’s agency!) boo-hoo’d about how rehab was “like prison”. Which set off Steven Adler, to the point where I almost listed his behavior here…until Michael Lohan went off. Wow, was he pissed! Lohan started in about how, at his prison, the inmates were so terrible they actually “drew pictures” of his wife and daughter with wieners in their mouths; which, to me, is standard middle-school behavior. Looking back at it now, I was one of those dudes who drew silly pics of girls blowing dick. In fact, if Lindsay Lohan was in my 8th grade English class, I woulda been the kid drawing Lindsay blowing a goat…but only after she turned me down for Friday Night’s dance. Anyway, retelling such a horrid story made Mr. Lohan run to the bathroom and barf. No…he didn’t barf. It was more like a Power Hurl. All over the place. Which is what I woulda hoped an 8th grade Lindsay woulda done when I handed her my picture…but we all know now an 8th grade girl can handle that sort of nonsense much better than Mr. Lohan did on what is my favorite vice of late: Celebrity Rehab.

Girlvert: A Porno Memoir — I first met Ashley Blue in the fall of 2002, at Dogfart’s secret Mansion, way up high in the hills of Malibu overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I didn’t shoot her until 2010, when she was the star of an Interracial BlowBang scene. In between, we’d run into each other every now and then….mostly when our porno circles came together. Which is to say hardly ever. I went to the book release party a few weeks ago, which was a hoot, but even better yet is Ashley’s book. Ori’s book. Whatever. It is the greatest thing a porno person has achieved with something outside of porn. Her book is better than all of her scenes put together, and if you guys like reading my blog, you’ll love Girlvert. I say that cause most of the people who like I Shoot Porn like it cause of the “insider’s look” on porn. The one thing I can never, ever do is nail what goes on inside the mind of a porno princess. Ashley Blue sure did. Girlvert should be required reading for each and every girl before she gets into this biz. If I was King of Porno, you’d have to pass a test on Girlvert before you were allowed to be booked for your first scene. But then again, if I was King of Porno, you wouldn’t be able to perform your first scene til you were 21. But that’s a different blog.

5 thoughts on “A Few Things I Love in my Life, Lately.”

  1. I thought punk rock was dead? Isn’t punk rock dead? Yeah, i’m pretty sure punk rock died right around the time they started labeling bands like The Offspring, Green Day and Jimmy Eat World punk rock. I’m not saying these bands are bad, with the exception of The Offspring, just that I don’t think anyone can really capture the same sounding punk that came out in the late 70’s, early 80’s. Some bands did a pretty good job of it up into the mid 90’s like Bad Religion and Fugazi. It’s kind of like when a band like Them Crooked Vultures try to recapture that late 60’s classic hard rock sound, the guitar riffs and everything are there but it just isn’t the same. There will never be replacements for bands like the ones you mentioned and The Misfits, The Ramones, Sex Pistols, The Melvins, etc. Not saying it’s a bad thing, times change, sounds evolve and punk gave birth to a ton of other great genres.

    I remember when I was a kid I won tickets over the radio to see The Dead Milkmen play at the Troc in Philly, however, I was like 12 years old at the time and I couldn’t find anyone to take me. I forget who they were playing with but it was some other punk bands. Kinda sucks, because I feel like I missed my only chance to see a REAL punk rock show. This was like 93′, the sunset of punk, when grunge took over EVERYTHING for a little while there.

    I’ll admit, I never heard of Fucked Up, but i’ll definitely check them out.

    I’ll also admit that I didn’t know too much about Warhol’s work when I made my comments about him the other day besides his soup cans, Marilyn Monroe and the screen tests, probably because those are the most significant things he’s ever done. So I read up on him a bit and the more I read the less I like the guy. He just seems like a self-absorbed asshole who thought he could wave a magic wand over something and call it art. He was more like a cult of personality than an artist. I don’t know if you watched the documentary I linked in the Kimberly Kane comments or not, Exit through the gift shop, but if not you should. The story is a lot like Warhol’s in his later days, the guy in the documentary starts a little place similar to the factory where he has assistants pumping out artwork to sell. I can definitely appreciate some of his stuff the way I admire those old, hand painted advertisements on the sides of brick buildings you see a lot in the northeast. However, I think there’s plenty of other artists who I think he unfairly overshadowed like Lichtenstein. But what do I know? My favorite types of art are graffiti and skateboard deck graphics.

  2. And a citation for the post above:

    I said that punk gave birth to a bunch of other great genres. I take that back, punk gave birth to ska punk, and that cancels out any good influences it might have made. Although, if it wasn’t for ska punk we never would have had Sublime. But still, we wouldn’t have had to suffer through the endless replays of The Mighty Mighty Bosstone’s-the impression that I get.

    By the way, where’s that guy’s penis?!?

  3. LOL who the heck would book Amy Fisher? I’d want to get a metal detector before allowing her into my house. Poor Buttfucker, er. Buttafuckero.

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